Escape to Love
by Cariadbach
Summary: No memory, not knowing who you are, where you belong, changes you can't explain and a unknown past. Isabelle understands exactly what this is like.. Slowly piecing together part of her life from dreams, a unexpected enemy may hold answers where she least expected to find them. Perhaps there is a way she could escape the unknown to finally find love.
1. Chapter 1

_Right guys, I didn't like the route my original Escape to Love storyline was going, got writers block so decided to start from scratch. I am hoping this story will be better than the last one (I am keeping my fingers crossed). Please let me know your thoughts as they are appreciated._ _I hope you enjoy. Ta_

 **Disclaimer - I do not own the Avengers, the characters or anything associated to it. All rights go to Marvel.** **This is just a fan writing a fanfic**

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The gunfire brought her out of her sleep, her mind felt foggy, her head span for a moment and a breath caught in her dry throat. Slowly she opened her eyes which felt like they had been glued together. She blinked a couple times before looking around the dimly lit room there was nothing, no one there. A sharp jabbing feeling in her side drew her attention away from her surroundings. Glancing down she saw the shard of glass sticking out of her side. Her eyes widened not really sure what she should do, there was no one to help. Hesitantly grabbing it she pulled it out of her, blood oozed out around it. She looked at the red blood stained glass, it was part of what she was encased in, a type of glass capsule which had shattered from what looked like rubble that had fallen down around the room. Slowly she eased herself out of the capsule trying not to catch herself on any glass shards again. Looking around the room, there was no sign of any one being here. She was completely alone, her heart hammered in her chest, she could feel the erratic beat. Her body ached, it was a dull ache, like it was not use to the movement she was asking it to do. It was a strange sensation which she could not explain but her body felt completely unfamiliar, like it was not her own.

Taking in her surroundings, she was encased in a small plain room, the only way out was around a wall had fallen down around a metal closed door. She could feel the cool air and the noise of the guns firing above her. There was something telling her that she was not safe staying here any longer than she needed too. Taking a final look around the room there was nothing which explained why she was here. Padding bare foot across the floor she climbed over the destruction surrounding her. There was no one here, not a single person to be found, she could feel her fear increase. She had no idea what was happening or where she was, what was worse though she couldn't recall who she was either. Knowing that there seemed to be no answers here for her she continued to move on.

The ground occasionally shook around her, she heard the building which surrounded her crumple, the occasional debris hitting the floor. Climbing up some stairs, she could smell the air becoming clearer, less stuffy. A familiar feeling breeze hitting her skin, she knew she had to head towards.

The light shone brightly forcing her to cover her eyes, she looked around to see chaos, there were vehicles were over turned and burning, buildings falling apart above her and things flying in the sky. She stood jut taking it all in, she had no idea where the hell she was but it felt more like it was hell she was living in. She heard someone shouting repeatedly.

"Get off the street, get off the street."

She moved forward not sure what was happening, seeing large man in a suit of red, blue and white charging towards her. She had no time to react as he scooped her up moving her quickly before he covered her body with his. She heard the explosion close by them feeling the rubble from it fall around them. The man pulled away looking around them, she could see the smoke move in the air, she could smell the burning which came with it.

"Miss, Miss." The man shook her gently making her look at him. She looked up at the masked man, catching the blue in his eyes. She could see that he was worried, there was concern there, she stared at him her heart now in her throat. "Are you okay?"

"I." She said it before she realised it was her own voice. But it didn't sound like her voice, or the voice she expected at least. She stopped to think, she didn't know if she was okay, she didn't know what was happening.

"You're hurt." The man put pressure on her side, pain passed through her making her wince, she looked down at the wound. She had completely forgotten about it. "We will find a medic ok Miss."

She stared at him not really sure what he was telling her, he scooped her back in his arms keeping pressure on her injured side before he started to run at a good pace. The thoughts racing through her mind made no sense, she didn't understand what was going on. She was currently in the arms of a complete stranger, someone she had just met. He carried her with ease; she looked at the destruction which seemed to be in every street. What hell had she woken in? She could feel herself getting light headed; it was like she was being drained. The man took her to a vehicle with others there, all hurt in some manner or another.

"She has an abdominal injury, it looks deep." The Red, blue and white man informed another who wore a different type of uniform. Something was strangely familiar about this uniform though, like she had seen it before or should know what it meant. "She seems a little confused."

"We will take her from here Sir." The new man said as the Red, blue and white man carrying her placed her down on a bed.

"She looked like she was in shock in the middle of that destruction." The Red, blue and white man told them.

"She is in good hands sir." The new man nodded before turning to her. "Miss Do you know your name?" He asked

She looked up at him as he continued to check her over, using something the cut the material covering her away, exposing her side. She couldn't bring herself to speak, everything seemed to be familiar, on the tip of her tongue yet new. Her head pounded, she looked to the Red, blue and white man but he had gone.

"Miss your name." The man repeated looking directly at her this time.

She just shook her head as she collapsed back. She could feel herself getting heavy, like her body was being dragged downwards. She had no control, she had no idea what was happening and this had to be some nightmare. She tried to say something but it was too late, she slipped out of consciousness.


	2. Chapter 2

Her head was pounding, she could hear rhythmic bleeping in the back ground which seemed to reassure her but for a unknown reason. Her whole body hurt, she wasn't sure what had happened to her or where she had ended up. Slowly she recalled what she had walked into the war that seemed to be happening in the middle of a street. The chaos in the street, the smoke, the smell of burning and the sounds of explosions. Her mind raced as the 101 thoughts flowed through her head as she tried to understand what had happened.

"Any idea who she is?" A voice spoke up, she remembered it, it was him, the Red, blue and white mans. The man who had saved her from the explosion, he left her with another man, before everything went blank

"Yes. Her name is Isabelle Barton." Another man answered this time she had no idea who it was. His voice sounded stern and slightly intimidating. She could feel the hairs on her skin raise. How did he know who she had no idea. How did he have the answers to the questions she wanted to ask.

"As in a relation to Clint Barton by any chance sir?" The Red, blue and white man muttered. So it was his boss who he was speaking too. It would explain the sir and the sternness of the strangers voice, it was a tone of a leader.

"Yes his kid sister. This needs to be handled sensitively. Especially after what Barton has just been through. He is getting evaluated at the moment to see if anything has changed after his mind had been taken over. Romanov swears he's fine but I would like to be sure first. She has been missing now for 8 years, walked out on him after an argument apparently, never to return. There was no trace of her, he searched for years, every resource of SHIELDS he's used." The other man told the red, white and blue man. "She was 16, just a child when she disappeared."

"Did you know her?" The red, blue and white man continued with his questions, his voice softening.

"Yes, since she was a small child. It was only her and Clint, when Clint signed up we needed to be sure we offered her protection. I made sure the school she was sent to was appropriate, she was looked after while Clint was on missions by authorised agents. We look after our own Rogers." The other man replied. "So you found her walking the streets during the invasion?"

"Yes." The red, blue and white man said. "It was like she was lost, disorientated, in shock, she had no idea what was going on or what to do by the look of it. She seemed confused Sir. She couldn't answer basic questions."

"There is still time for her to tell us what she knows. We couldn't trace the suit she was wearing, it had nothing on it. We searched the area you said she was, found the glass shard which had injured her, DNA matched but nothing else and no source of where the glass shard came from." The other man explained his voice still holding one of authority even though he didn't have the answers he wanted. "It doesn't tell us where she has been and how she has been altered to be an almost matching version of you."

"You're telling me then that somehow an organisation has managed to alter her without SHIELD knowing about it. So she is now like me." The red, blue and white man sounded a little surprised. "How can that have happened Sir?"

She felt herself think by what they meant by that comment. She had been altered, how and into what. How was she like the version of the Red, blue and white man. She had no idea what the hell they were going on about. The bleeping of the machine seemed to increase as she panicked slightly at the thought of being altered. She held her breath knowing she needed more information, a understanding of what they were talking about. She waited to hear the answer from the man with the obvious authority.

"We don't know how they have managed it" The man with authority sounded concerned pausing for a couple of minutes before saying. "But we are looking into it as a matter of urgency. She will be staying with us till we have some answers."

"Perhaps she could tell us something?" The red, blue and white man sighed. "Anything, if there is an organisation out there sir that is trying to recreate what the military tried on me. We need to stop them immediately."

"Maybe till then, she is under surveillance and we will run further tests." The man said firmly footsteps echoed in the room as their voices became a little quieter. "We will look into it Rogers, meanwhile I think it would be better if she woke to a familiar face, you picked her up, it may make things easier."

"Sir." The red, blue and white man answered.

Her body felt heavy still, she couldn't move a muscle, her ears on the other hand listened to the footsteps around the room. She could hear the sound of someone close by her. She felt confused, they knew her but she didn't know them. She tried her hardest to open her eyes, they slowly opened a little, she blinked a couple of times as the lights around her were bright and her eyes were unaccustomed it. There was movement around her she felt someone take her hand in theirs.

"Isabelle." The red, blue and white man said.

She turned to see a normal looking man looking down at her, she didn't recognise the face, only the voice. He had light blonde swept back hair, a kind looking face, he was huge though, his shoulders were broad and muscular. What she did finally recognise though was his blue eyes she had seen through his mask, it was him, it was the Red, white and blue man.

"Can you talk?" he asked looking at her his face full of concern his hand keeping hold of hers as if to offer strength. "You don't know me but my name is Steve Rogers, we have met briefly before a few days ago."

"I remember." She croaked her voice still sounding strange to hear. "There was fighting."

"Yes there was but your safe now. You're in a hospital. Do you know anything about what happened to you?" He looked at her pulling up a chair to sit down beside her. "Where you are, perhaps the city you're in?"

She turned her head looking at him, her heart hammering. She only remembered the destruction, her room and what he was talking about earlier to another man. Her heart sank as she realised he was only trying to get answers out of her.

"No." She shook her head watching his expression change. "I don't remember anything. Nothing before you."

"Nothing?" Steve stared at her with surprise.

She shook her head. Steve slowly got up pacing the room for a couple of minutes, he was in deep thought. She slowly sat herself up, pulling her knees to her chest. She noticed they had taken her clothes, the ones she had woken in. She was now only dressed in a flimsy looking gown. Steve finally paused from his pacing as he sat back down opposite her. His blue eyes looking at her with concern as he let out a sigh, his eyes never leaving hers.

"Your name is Isabelle Barton, you have a brother called Clint. There is only you two, the where about of your parents is unknown. They left you when you were still only a child. Your 23 years old." Steve said slowly allowing her to process the information given to her. "Does any of that ring a bell?"

Isabelle took a couple of minutes to think about what he had just told her before shook her head, nothing came to her with that information. She could feel tears come to her eyes as she realised she didn't know anything about her own past. Steve looked at her sympathetically taking her hand again as she sat there silently tears trickling down her face.

"It will be okay." Steve sighed trying to reassure her. "You're in good hands now."

"How?" She turned to look at him wiping the tears from her face. "How do you know that it will be okay?"

"Because I know your brother." Steve smiled warmly at her. "He is a good man, you actually look a little like him. He has just been in a fight of his own, but he made it through. He is getting examined by some medics and once he has been cleared he is going to come and see you. He will look after you."

"How will I know if he's my brother?" She muttered sounding stupid as she said it. It was the truth though. She didn't know if what they were telling her was the truth. How the hell was she supposed to know who her brother was or what he even looked like.

"That I will leave to him to explain. We are going to help you Isabelle." Steve said. She looked at him and she didn't know why, he was still a stranger after all but she felt that she could trust him. She slowly nodded at him letting him know that she understood what he was trying to tell her. Inside though she didn't know if it was going to be okay, she actually didn't really understand what was happening to her.


	3. Chapter 3

Isabelle sat in her bed, pushing the food around her plate. She had been given something to eat, it looked like mush and tasted worse. Whatever it was it had been slapped onto her plate without care. Pushing the plate away she couldn't stomach the idea of even trying to eat whatever it was. She let out a sigh slumping back into the bed looking up at the plain white ceiling above her.

Her thoughts drifted to what she had picked up from Steve and listening in to conversations. She knew a little more about herself, her name, age, she had a family of sorts in a brother, and that he was part of some special organisation she didn't understand. The very same organisation that Steve worked for, though Steve could barely tell her anything about it. Steve seemed nice and he was kind, he had sat with her for some time, just talking to her, well more at her but it was nice, he never really expected a reply from her. It gave her time to digest what he was telling her, processing the information and linking it to what slight knowledge she already had. He had explained a bit about the war zone she had seemed to stumble into. Apparently her brother had been part of it too, he didn't give her specifics but it answered a little of the unknown. It was like a story but it somehow answered some of the questions she had. Eventually though he had to go to work, he didn't actually say what he did but she guessed it was something to do with what he was doing in the street during the battle.

She had tried to rest for a while but all the thoughts flying through her brain, the unanswered questions haunted her. What had happened to her? She knew the people who were currently helping her were going to want answers, but answers she didn't even have. Her head ached from everything that was going through her mind. She still had no idea what she was expecting from her brother, what the hell was he like, would she recognise him and him recognise her. Had she changed so much that he would reject her? Fear and anxiety slowly crept into her fresh and raw mind, she had no idea what was going to happen to her next.

The Nurse came in started giving her a lecture about not eating what was on her plate, wanting her to talk about her feelings and why she hadn't eaten the food provided but never giving Isabelle the chance to reply. The Nurse went on about her being starved, malnourished and needing to eat something before she wasted away. All she could feel was the butterflies within her stomach which fluttered constantly from the unknown which surrounded her. She guessed it was nerves about what was going to come next for her.

The nurses obviously realised from the lack of talking that they were not going to push her into eating. They did however allow her to stand up, her legs still felt weird, like they weren't her own. The Nurses watch her shakily to the bathroom without an audience watching her. That was when she saw it, her own face as she let out a small gasp of surprise. She stared at it for a couple of minutes taking in every single detail. She had freckles which she wanted to count each individual one. Her hair was a rich brown, although there was streaks of an auburn though it. Her eyes a light pale blue/grey, which went with her light skin tone. Her cheek and jaw bones were prominent. The nurses were right her face even looked thin and slightly haunting. They let her shower and change into a top and bottom set which was little better than a hospital gown. One of the nurses brushed out the knots that had formed in her hair before they tied it into a simple plait. It was weird to have people helping her like they were, it made her feel uncomfortable but she couldn't be bothered to fight them over it.

Once she was left alone it gave her a chance to relax again, she looked about the room a little more trying to work out what was what. She played with the end of the plait as she watched the people move around outside her room through the window. Nurses doing paperwork and there was the armed guards too. She didn't really understand why they were standing outside her door, it was either to keep someone out or to keep her in. She guessed the latter however much Steve had tried to reassure her it was for her own safety earlier when he had told her about them. Steve had also explained that she was not authorised at the moment to leave this hospital room and continued to tell her not to try. She knew they had a right to be cautious and weary about her, she couldn't tell them a thing and non of them understood her past.

A man ran passed the window stopping outside her room. He seemed to stare at the door, like he expected it to vanish any minute. He hesitantly grabbed the handle waiting for a few seconds before doing anything. The door to the room eventually swung open, as the man in the doorway stopped in his tracks, his mouth slackened and his blue eyes wide with shock. There was something oddly familiar to this man, she couldn't explain it. She just stared at him not really sure what she was supposed to do. The guards outside didn't seemed that bothered by how he entered so she guessed he was allowed in here.

"It's really you." The man stared at her his face paling slightly as he stood looking at her with a shocked expression.

"Do I know you?" Isabelle muttered not really sure what was going on or who this man was.

"Right." The man nodded his hand running over his temple as he looked down for a moment. "They explained that you don't have much in the way of memories. Any in fact. Right um." He paused stepping further into the room looking at her. "I just can't believe it's you. I mean I looked for you for years but nothing. I thought, I didn't want to but I knew the chances of you being alive were slim." He rambled on without answering her question.

She just stared at him, his hair was the brown colour of her own, perhaps a little browner due to it being shorter than hers. His eyes were the same shade of blue/grey too like hers. There were a few similarities actually that she couldn't quite place her finger on. She stared at him waiting for him to say something before it finally clicked.

"Are you my brother?" Isabelle frowned looking at him seeing a surprised expression appear on his face as a slight smile appeared on his face. Isabelle suddenly felt stupid, perhaps she had made a mistake. "Sorry it's just we look alike."

"Yeah I'm Clint." He nodded as he suddenly beamed at her. "Your brother."

"Oh." Was all she managed to say. She had no idea what else she could say. He clearly knew more about her than she knew about herself. She looked down and fiddling with her fingers unsure what else she had to say to man she had just met but turned out to be her brother. It was a little much to take in.

"Iz I know you have no idea who I am." He said calmly as he approached her bed, the shortening of her name made her stare back at him. She had only got her head about her name but she liked the shortening of it, it seemed to be comforting. "Look I don't have much experience with this situation either. They just briefed me on your case."

"My case?" Isabelle raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah." He sat down thinking for a moment. "Do you have any idea where you have been or what happened to you?" He looked to her for some answers, she shook her head, she only remembered what had happened since she first woke in that capsule. "You have been missing for eight years, in that time something has happened to you, changed you."

"How?" She frowned hoping he would tell her more.

"You have apparently met a friend Steve." Clint stared taking his time to word it right she guessed. "He wasn't born like he is now. He was made that way sis. Now we believe someone is trying something like that again. Your blood results are matching Steve's in similar properties. The company I work for want to help you but will need your co-operation to do some tests."

"What tests?" Isabelle's eyes narrowed as suspicion rose within her. She didn't like the idea of being tested on.

"Don't worry, I won't let them do anything to hurt you." Clint tried to reassure her. "It will be basics, things like your fitness, strength, ability to learn. Harmless tests which may unlock some questions we all have."

"What about my past? I don't know anything" Isabelle stared at her brother longing for anything which he may be able to offer her.

"I don't know what happened to you Iz but I am sure we will figure something out." He sighed sitting down beside her. "Is there anything you want me to help you with?"

"Everything, I want to know who I am." Isabelle smiled weakly at him.

"Ok, this is going to take some time." Clint beamed back at her as he pushed himself to his feet. "I am going to get us some Coffee before I start, you look like you could use it and I know I definitely need it."

"Coffee?" Isabelle rose an eyebrow.

"Trust me you will love it." Clint laughed "You use to drink more than me years ago."

"Sounds good." Isabelle smiled at her brother. She felt suddenly hopeful that there was someone who could help her find herself again. She watched him walk out of the room completely disregarding the guards which stood outside the door. She got out of bed moving over to the window watching the people move by. She could know some of them, she could be watching people she knew and not even realize it.

It was only a few minutes before her brother returned with two cups. She watched him enter once again without problem from the guards. She let him pass her the cup and looking down at the liquid she was given. It smelt absolutely divine, she closed her eyes savouring the smell. She could hear a chuckle from her brother as he drank his.

"The only thing which use to get you out of bed in the morning." Hesitantly she took a sip of the sweet nectar she smelt, it was like she thought it would taste, perfect. It was warming her up, she felt her body almost relax from the taste of it. Smiling she looked up at her brother. "So you want to know more about yourself. I really don't know where I should start. You were doing well in school, better than I ever did. Your bright, passing all exams given to you, you were a gymnast, a good one."

"Gymnast?" She frowned not sure what that actually meant.

"Yeah I think I have videos somewhere when I couldn't make your competitions, I can show you what you use to do." He thought for a moment putting the cup down and before saying. "God I have watch those videos over and over regretting missing those competitions. Eight years Iz, I have been looking for you for eight years." He covered his face with his hands.

Isabelle stood frozen as she looked at him his hands covering his face. She wasn't really sure what to do. Slowly she put her cup down and approached him, she gently knelt in front of him before slowly putting a hand on his arm. He looked up, she could see the tears in his eyes. Tears for her.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't be like this." He shook his head, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

"You cared enough for me to keep looking?" She stared at him feeling slightly astonished that someone would feel for her like that.

"Your my sister, I have loved you all my life, that never stops." He replied looking at her. "I just wished I could have protected you!"

"You're here now." She shrugged smiling weakly at him shrugging.

Suddenly she was engulfed in his arms, her small petite frame enveloped in his tight grip. She gasped not expecting the embrace from him. There was a familiarity to it though she liked, her body seemed to remember what it was like to be hugged by her family as it went from a tense reaction before becoming relaxed.


	4. Chapter 4

The following day she was transferred to another hospital type place, she once again got a private room and had the guards stationed outside the door. Different Doctors came in and out of the room all wanting different tests to be done. She knew it was necessary so they could find out exactly what had been done to her considering she was unable to tell them anything. At the same time it made her feel nervous, she had no idea what people wanted from her.

Days seemed to pass and she was stuck in the same monotonous routine. Clint had been a god send however, he visited her every day, exactly at the same time he would arrive. Within that time he managed to make her smile and laugh, there was no predicting what he would talk about and what she would possibly learn about herself. He filled her in on what she couldn't remember, not that it made things any clearer. She still was completely baffled by all the information he gave her. However it made the days pass by a little quicker. Clint had managed to bring in a tablet for her to look back at things like family pictures, access to the internet, old gymnast videos. It meant she had a small amount of freedom that she could research about what he had told her. Learn a bit more about the outside world.

Boredom had however set in, there were not windows out into the world from her little room, she felt trapped and alone. Apart from Clint who came to visit her, their was no one else, everyone one else treated her like a lab rat needing experimenting on. She often found herself pacing the room like a caged animal, just to run down that tension which had started to build. Her body felt like it had tensed up, every muscle getting tighter like a coiled spring.

The only times she was allowed to leave her prison of a room was when the Doctors wanted to run some tests on her. So far she completed tests which worked out her ability to learn, strength and fitness. Although no one ever spoke to her about the results, which she would have liked to know. Apparently it was better this way for her, so she had no expectations of what to presume as an outcome from the experiments. She knew however it meant she was kept in the dark about what she could actually do.

She sat crossed legged on the floor reading a book which Clint had given her, saying it was one of her favourites. She did find herself getting lost in the story, understanding perhaps why it was one of her favourites but at the same time she wasn't quite sure she could class that as a memory. Nothing seemed to be triggering any strong memories. She had looked at photos, saw herself within them, laughing, smiling, hugging her brother however she could not remember a thing about when that photo was taken, not one memory.

There was a hesitant knock on the door making her look up from the book she was engrossed in as the door opened slightly. A familiar face appeared around the door which made her smile in surprise.

"Steve." She pushed herself off the floor from where she was reading onto her feet.

"I hoped you remembered who I was. I wasn't sure if you would." Steve smiled at her as he entered her room looking around it at the sparsely decorated room. It was still very much like a hospital room, nothing else, she didn't want to put her mark on it, it wasn't home. "How are you doing?" He asked looking back at her.

"Okay I guess." She stood in the centre of the room rubbing her neck not really sure what else to say. She watched Steve's expression as he raised a questioning eyebrow at her. She shrugged guessing he could work out that this was no fun or what she really wanted. "Apart from being bored and fed up of being a test subject rather than being treated as Isabelle but without memories."

"Being the test subject, it gets easier trust me." He smiled at her taking a seat in an armchair they had provided within the room. Isabelle stared at him for a moment, his blue eyes less prominent today, perhaps it was because he was dressed in normal clothing not his uniform. Had he been once treated like her, like an experiment, the same way as she was now?

"I hope you don't mind me asking." Isabelle rubbed her hands together nervously, as she glanced to Steve trying to work out how she was going to word the question. Steve stared back at her waiting patiently for her question. "Clint said that my bloods and some of my tests were matching yours." Isabelle moved sitting on her bed opposite him looking at Steve frowning. "If you have been through this, what does this mean?"

"We are similar, yes, but we are not exactly matching. I guess whoever did this to you wanted to get to the same outcome they did with me." Steve corrected her, his expression becoming a little solemn as he looked down at his hands. "I am sorry for that." He apologised not looking at her.

"It's not your fault." Isabelle shook her head shrugging. Not really sure what else she could say, he couldn't be blamed for something someone else did. He hadn't wanted this to be done to her, he hadn't been directly involved, why did he feel he should be apologising for this. Her brother trusted him, Clint didn't have a bad word to say against Steve. That was good enough of reason for her to trust him.

"You're quick to forgive." Steve glanced up at her a little shocked with her reply.

"Maybe that's part of who I am, I don't know." She shrugged. "I don't think you had anything to do with it. It was not what you wanted any way." Isabelle explained staring back at him feeling the need to justify her reason. "You're a friend Steve, one of the few, well the only one I have at the moment. I need to keep what friends I have close. "

Steve smiled back at her and nodded letting her know he understood what she meant. She sighed looking about the room thinking about what Steve had said. She didn't know much about what Steve could do. He had never explained what he was changed into. She glanced back at him guessing as they were already being open she might as well just ask.

"So how were you altered?"

Steve looked up at her, his mouth forming a thin line as he looked away, she could see he was thinking about what to say. She felt a lump rise in her throat. Perhaps it hadn't been wise to ask him such a personal question. Especially when he could walk away and never return if he wished while she was stuck in this room till she was told otherwise. She glanced down as she clasped hold of her hands twisting them together.

"I wasn't always like this." Steve began his voice low but she heard him clearly. "I was a sickly child and adult. I had breathing issues, allergies, my health wasn't the best let say. I was weak, small and unable to look after myself let alone save other people's lives. I was the kid that was picked on easy, to the bigger man I was an easy target. Don't ask me to explain the science but I volunteered for a program, I volunteered for them to change me and this was what happened."

"So what ever happened, it changed you how?" Isabelle continued leaning in to listen to his answer wanting to understand exactly what had happened.

"Physically I changed, I put on about 150lbs grew almost a foot in height. A lot changed, their were some changes you couldn't see though, improved health, healing faster than a normal human as well as above human strength and speed." Steve watched her mouth open slightly as she absorbed the facts he gave her.

"So you're like a super human." Isabelle muttered looking at him a little confused.

"I guess you're right." He smirked at what she said. A small blush appearing on his face.

"So you think they were trying to recreate you through me?" Isabelle muttered thinking aloud for a moment. "Why would someone want to do that?"

"That's something I don't know, it's just a theory." Steve shook his head. "It's something we want to find out though."

Isabelle looked away; she wasn't really sure what she could say to that. Even now she still had no memories resurfacing; she was losing hope of getting any answers about finding out what happened to her. She looked back to Steve who was still watching her, she frowned as a thought came to mind.

"Was there a reason why you have come to visit Steve?"

"Yes, I suppose there was." Steve nodded sitting up a little straighter a worried expression coming to his face which made her nervous. "Clint has had to go away, work. It was sudden; he had no choice but to go. He asked me to pop by and tell you that he would be back as soon as he could."

"Don't you know when he will he be back?" Isabelle stood up suddenly feeling uneasy again. Clint had been the familiar face, the person she felt safe around and now he was no longer here. There was no one she could rely on or trust like she did with him. She wrapped her arms around herself as she waited for Steve's answer praying that he would say soon.

"He didn't say when." Steve looked away, Isabelle guessed by his behaviour this wasn't exactly the truth.

"Right." Isabelle turned away, she didn't want him looking at her and assessing her. She moved away from Steve trying to calm her nerves.

"There was another reason too." Steve broke the silence, Isabelle didn't bother turning around she just waited patiently for him to continue. "We would like to increase the level of your tests, they have asked me to start some basic combat training. See how well you can adapt, use your abilities."

"What." Isabelle turned around looking surprised. This was something she had not expected from Steve or them.

"Just the basics, but it may tell us something more about what you can do." He explained getting up out of the chair. "It will be with me though, I promised to Clint I would look after you okay, I don't plan on going back on my word."

Isabelle nodded, she was still digesting what Steve had told her. Not 100% convinced she was happy in what she was being asked to do. However if Clint had made Steve promise to look after her, it reassured her that she wasn't being completely abandoned. She just wondered what the hell they were expecting from her now.


	5. Chapter 5

Hi all, sorry I have been away from this story so long, I was busy with other things. However I have kept coming back to this story, so feel the need to finally get it out there! Updated this chapter but the follow chapters will be new work. Once again I own no characters or storylines from the MCU, this is just a fanfic for fun. Please review and let me know what you think! Ta x

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Isabelle stood in the centre of the mat opposite Steve, she was dressed in a grey baggy tracksuit which had been given to her that morning before Steve arrived. She was listening carefully to the instructions that Steve was giving to her as he tried to explain some basic combat skills and defences. She felt her heart pound in her ears making it harder to concentrate on Steve's voice. Her mind was racing through what if's, she had never done anything like this that she could remember, this wasn't something she wanted to learn or do, even with someone as patient as Steve. Then there was Steve, he was tall, muscular, well built, compared to her small petite frame, how the hell was this fair starting her off with some one like him when he seemed to know what he was actually doing. She nodded in the right places but wasn't really sure what Steve was expecting from her which made her even more nervous. She could feel her whole body tense up from the lack of expectation about what was going to happen. Something wasn't sitting well within her, it was hard to explain but this feeling she was having, it was like she had been put in this situation before or had felt something similar to now.

"You ready?" Steve asked her looking a little concerned himself, this didn't help to give her any confidence in the situation she was about to get herself in.

Isabelle ran her hand through her tied up hair, stalling trying to give herself time to think about what was exactly happening right now and what the hell she was going to do. It seemed like a dream or possibly a nightmare, she wasn't really sure which but this whole thing now seemed surreal. She glanced back to Steve who was watching her, there was a small frown on his face which she didn't quite understand, she had no idea what they thought was going to happen, she looked away looking around the empty room.

"We're being watched right?" Isabelle glanced to the ceiling potting the camera's which seemed conveniently placed pointing at them. She guessed there had to be others watching but watching for what. To laugh at the small defenceless girl damaged girl who could barely remember her life let alone take on a obviously military trained man.

"Yes." Steve answered bluntly not seeming that interested in the cameras like she was. "Now did you understand what I said? It's just some gentle attacks and let's see if you understand how to block them. You won't be able to hurt me okay, this is a control environment, nothing bad will happen from this, you don't have to worry."

"I think I understand." Isabelle nervously swallowed, her eyes falling back onto Steve as she mentally and physically preparing herself for what was to come. Looking at Steve she had a very good reason to be worried, he was huge, muscular and well toned. He had to work out daily to get and keep up a physique like that and well she had been unconscious for god knows how long.

Steve nodded at her signalling for her to prepare herself. She stood ready, at least she thought she was ready. She remembered Steve saying something about stance and arms up. She felt herself hold her breath in anticipation as a tightness took over her chest. Her hairs on her neck started to prickle as a shiver ran down her spine, it was from the fear that was now flowing freely within her whole body. Letting out a long sigh, she tried to remembered what Steve said about not worrying. Just something about this situation worried her it felt like it was some how familiar.

Steve's first blow barely made any contact but she hesitantly blocked it as he had shown her how to do so. He kept up with the same pace, letting her get use to what they were actually doing. Starting off gently; the attacks were simple and easy to block or side step. Steve's assaults were well calculated, the ones she missed did collide with her body, it didn't hurt but she could feel the power behind them. As she just got use to what Steve was going to throw at her, he seemed to step it up a little. With her ability Isabelle was less able to block his moves, which meant more hits to her body, this time these did leave a throb of pain, ones that felt like they may bruise. She tried her hardest but she didn't know what to do which meant she was only defending off Steve's attacks against her.

She was about to call it, giving up when Steve caught her in the side of the head. There was ringing sensation in her ear, however it was like a light switch being flicked on, her body seemed to suddenly take over before her mind, it was like something was unlocked from the pain that her body received. There was now an indescribable instinct kicking in, she managed to block every move which Steve tried as well as throwing in some assaults of her own which he blocked. She never even needed to think about it, it just happened, she got the timing, in the moments where Steve paused between moves she managed to put her own attacks in. He seemed to have to think more about his next move, not like he did at the start, where it had been slower and steadier.

Steve held up his hand indicating to stop, Isabelle just looked at her own hands which were now shaking, she stepped back, shocked about how easily it came to block those moves. She stared at her trembling hands, her eyes wide, she could hear the thumping of her heart in her the hell had been done to her before her memory had been wiped. She stepped further back away from Steve knowing what ever they had done they wanted her to be able to fight probably not in a controlled environment like this one they stood in now.

"So?" She looked at him after he stood there watching her giving her time to think about what had just happened.

"You seemed to know what to do just then." Steve raised an eyebrow at her looking a little surprised by the outcome. This offered no relief to Isabelle; it was not the outcome that even Steve expected from this test meaning they were as stumped as she was. "What happened?"

"I don't know, I, it seemed to just come to me." Isabelle wrapped her hands around herself feeling a little shaken by what happened. "I don't know why, I just knew what to do."

"A memory perhaps?" Steve frowned his voice sounding a little hopeful about the idea of her having a memory return.

"No. It wasn't like that." Isabelle shook her head trying to think about her answer as well as trying to make sense about the last few minutes herself. "I want to say it's more like an instinct at the moment, like my body had been taught to do this. I didn't have to think about what I was doing it just happened."

"You okay to go another round? Something similar but a little harder, I want to see what you can do, nothing too hard but a little more advanced." He nodded this time he said it with more confidence like he trusted in what he was thinking.

Isabelle let out a sigh nodding her guts clenching as she tried to process what had just happened. Part of her wanted to know more, the other hoped she was wrong about this instinct that it was just by chance she knew what to do. However deep in her mind, she was now convinced she was meant to be a weapon of sorts, there was no other way of explaining it. Who would do this to some one, where else would she have learned how to do this, unless some one else had trained her before and then wipe her memories, it had to mean something bad. She took a deep breath in before preparing herself, if this was the only way she could unlock the truth about her past then so be it.

Steve's blows hurt more than a little this time and the speed which he attacked had increased. Isabelle managed to block the majority of moves he tried on her but she couldn't quite keep up with all of them. Her body seemed to be able to keep up with the constant onslaught of attacks, never really tiring, barely working up a sweat from dodging, sides stepping, blocking and defending herself. She never had to think about what she was doing, her body seemed to do it before she had to command it to. Her responses did feel some what slow, her mind was able to know when she was about to get hit rather than being able to defend itself. However one hit from Steve sent her off her feet falling hard to the floor, hitting the mat with a thud. She laid there for a second absorbing what happened before she could feel the pain from the blow to her side.

"Ow." She grumbled her hand going to her waist where it hurt as she laid on the floor, her back to the mat. She winced slightly from the throbbing pain.

"Isabelle I am sorry." Steve knelt down beside her looking extremely guilty as he offered a hand to help her sit up. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah I guess." She winced slightly sitting up rolling up her side seeing a large deep red discoloration on her side where Steve had managed to hit her. "Decided anything from this little experiment of yours?" Isabelle looked at him hoping he would at least answer her.

"That somewhere in that head of yours you know a little about combat, perhaps more than we think. Someone would have had to train you for you to be able to keep up in this fight. Honestly though it just tells me that, not why or who did this." Steve replied sitting down beside her. "Do you need ice or anything for your side?"

"Nah." Isabelle shook her head twisting slightly, the pain was already fading. She slowly got back onto her feet. "So what now? What does this explain apart from I know how to fight?"

"Nothing came to you during this, no memory, feeling?" Steve asked glancing at her.

"No memories, a feeling perhaps that I knew what I was doing, that I once was better than this. I don't know, perhaps I was hoping this would answer some or all the unanswered questions." Isabelle answered honestly taking her time to think about what she was going to say. "Steve what the hell did someone want to create using me?"

"I don't know." Steve shook his head, it sounded like the truth from him. "At least you're not with whoever did this to you. This may not seem like it at the moment but this is definitely better place to be than where you could be."

"I guess, it just doesn't answer any questions does it." Isabelle shrugged feeling a little disappointed about still not having answers she understood. Slowly pushing herself to her feet she looked down at Steve. "Are we done for the day? I don't think I can do much more."

Steve nodded getting off the floor, they walked silently back to her room. Isabelle could see the glances people were giving her. It was unsettling, she knew she was in the middle of something she didn't quite understand here. Who was now keeping her, trying to work out who or what she was now and what were they going to want from her. It was too many unanswered questions which made her feel uneasy. She looked up at Steve, neither him or Clint had opened up about what this place was, or who they worked for. It all seemed rather secretive really.

"You going to ask something?" Steve muttered not looking at her but a smile appearing on his face.

"I'm just trying to work out what this place is." Isabelle replied looking away from him feeling a little stupid about being caught out. "No one has actually told me what this mysterious organisation is that you, Clint and everyone here works for. It has hospital facilities, a gym, laboratories" Isabelle thought for a moment. "I mean it's an organisation right, which can afford high tech equipment that I have seen as it's been used on me. There are a lot of personnel about, most of which either seems scientific or military based."

They finally reached her room where Steve nodded at the guards who opened the door to her room for them. Steve followed her in, he hadn't said a word since her evaluation of where she thought she was. He stood awkwardly in the room obviously taking his time to answer her before finally saying.

"I can't tell you any more than what you have said."

"Right." Isabelle frowned not really expecting that answer. "So this is a organisation."

"Do I need to get a doctor to look at your side?" Steve asked skirting around her question, though sounding generally concerned about her wellbeing.

"No." Isabelle shook her head feeling disappointed that a person she thought was a friend couldn't be honest with her. "I'll be fine."

"I'll see you tomorrow then." Steve smiled weakly at her as he turned and left her alone in the room.

Isabelle sat back on her bed, she bit the corner of her lip as she thought about what had happened today. She trusted Clint which meant if he relied on Steve then so could she. However she didn't like being kept in the dark about something or someone who seemed to be in control of her life right now. She looked to her tablet; she guessed perhaps she had to do some research for herself. It felt wrong to some background research in her brother; however Steve it felt a little less bad, he was not family after all.  
Picking up the tablet she typed in the bit of information she knew about Steve, starting with his name. She typed in Steve Rogers, what opened however the results were not what she expected at all. Steve was a, well a super hero of sorts by the look of things, known by the general public as Captain America. There were multiple photos of him in his red, blue and white uniform, the one she remembered from the attack after she first woke. However some photos were slightly vague in black and white, it was the same uniform though and the dates of the photos was what puzzled her. Some photos were dated back in the 1940's, that would make Steve 90 plus years old by the look of him that had to be impossible. She was completely stunned, her mouth open as she tried to get her head around this new revelation, how was this possible?

She knew this meant there had to be more unanswered questions apart from her own life. Where was she, what was this secretive organisation she was being kept in and was Steve really a friend or was he well something else entirely?


	6. Chapter 6

Isabelle lay in her bed that night, sleep was completely evading her, her mind was just ticking over what she had learnt today. Her brother, Steve and other different people were part of a group which people had started calling the Avengers. The whole group seemed to have different abilities as such, one flew in a suit of metal, another they were calling a god and one was even scarily green. There were loads of news articles around the time she woke about a attack on New York and were the Avengers friend or foe. There were reports on there about Captain America fighting in the second world war, exact same name, look and well person be looks of it. Which meant Steve was a lot older than she thought.

Rolling onto her other side feeling her body ached in places; it was a nice satisfactory ache though, like she had actually done something that day rather than being confined to a room being poked and prodded. Sleep should have come easily to her tonight after going one to one combat training with Steve but now she had found out her so called friend had somehow managed to slip through time without growing a grey hair or a single wrinkle. Now she had to worry about what her own future might bring. She couldn't bring herself to read any further into Steve's life, she barely understood her own at the moment.

She rolled over for probably the 100th time that night, laying on her side she pulled her knees up to her stomach trying to seek a state of peace so she could sleep. She couldn't understand why no one was being completely honest with her, what else was being hidden from her, she began to doubt what she had learnt. It wouldn't take much for them to be telling her lies and misleading her in believing things. She yawned, her eyelids becoming overly heavy. She knew she needed confront Steve about what she had found out. This wasn't something that she could now just let go. She needed answers. Her eyes finally shut as she drifted off into a state sleep.

 _Her eyes opened slowly, as she barely raised her head from the previous limp position it had been in. She could barely focus, her vision blurred, she felt lifeless. She was in a upright position, bound to some sort of table. She was tired, exhausted even, she could barely work out what was going on. Weakly she pulled on her wrists and legs feeling the straps pull against her skin. She was stuck in this position. Her head thudded back against the hard table as she looked up at the brightly shining light beaming down upon her._

 _"Give her more" a cold voice said out of the silence._

 _"More may kill her sir." Another replied sounding vaguely concerned about her wellbeing. Isabelle tried to look where the noise came from but she was surrounded by darkness, the only light being focused on her. Glancing to either side she saw the multiple machines she was strapped up too, all of them doing different things. Cords and wires were attached to her in different places. She tried to focus but her head felt so foggy, she could barely think._

 _"She has survived this much already, if she dies we learn from our mistakes." The first voice continued. "She may turn out an ideal specimen and we will be given the glory."_

 _Isabelle felt a cool liquid flow into her arm, she just managed to open her eyes to see that she was connected to numerous tubes where a fluorescent blue substance was being pumped into her. She felt her adrenaline spiked as her heart began to race, pounding hard within her chest, she felt herself panic as she looked around frantically. Her vision seemed to clear looking down she saw she was clad in some small shorts and a crop top she could see the different colours of bruising which covered her skin. Feeling warm tears run down her face as she looked up into the shadows before her, terrified about what was happening to her and who would do this. She felt herself shiver from being cold, her breathing was slowing as well as her heartrate and she felt so tired._

 _"Please." she rasped. "Stop."_

 _As she just managed to rest her eyes, her head falling forward as she fell into a light state of unconsciousness. A burning sensation slowly started licking its way across body, making her muscles tense and twitch. Moving its way like a wild fire across her skin, muscles and bones deep into her core. She let out a blood curdling scream as the pain intensified pulling on the restraints which held her in place. Her heart felt like it was being pulled from her chest as she could barely get a breath into her lungs from the torture she was being put through. Crying, pleading and sobbing for them to stop what they were doing, when she could just about breath but no one listened. Her body shook as the as the pain dwindled the sensation lingered for only a few more moments till it had gone. She felt herself slump forward, her body exhausted, the restraints pulling against her bare skin. Using what little energy she had left to remember to breath. Her brother would come for her, Clint would rescue her._

 _"Again." A voice drawled. "She is proving stronger than we expected, we may have the one."_

 _"Yes sir." A voice answered._

 _"Please." Isabelle begged quietly unable to raise her voice, her throat dry and scratchy._

 _"This time for longer." The first voice said making Isabelle weep as she knew exactly what was to come._

 _"No please don't" She begged._

Isabelle sat bolt upright in her bed, she felt the cool air on her skin. A light sheen of sweat covered her body, shiver ran down her body as she realised that was no dream, it felt too real. She looked around the room, it was empty, slowly pushing herself out of bed, not sure if wanted to go back to sleep after that experience.

It had to be a memory, there was no other way of explaining what that was. She ran her hand through her moist hair trying to work out what had just happened. Her whole body felt hypersensitive, she could still feel that sensation of burning now on her skin. She felt sick just thinking about the pain and torture that she had been put through. That agony her body was in was unforgettable. Flying out of bed she managed to get to the bathroom as she emptied the contents of her stomach into the toilet.

Collapsing down in the corner of the bathroom she let out a sob. She should have expected something like this to have happened to her. Whoever would alter a person and wipe memories were clearly not a normal person. She pulled her knees against herself and wept silently, the emotions from the memory and the last few days had built up within hit breaking point. What hell was she living in.

After a few minutes she managed to compose herself, her clothes were now sticking to her damp body. Pushing herself slowly off the floor she pulled the switch for the light. The light flickered for a few seconds making her face her pale completion in the mirror. Staring at herself she wondered what else those sick bastards had done to her, if they did that what else did they do. She shook the thought out of her head as she stripped out of her clothing as she stepped into the shower. The water made her skin tingle, like it was the flames she had felt that licked at her body. She knew it was a drug that had caused that sensation, that fluorescent blue substance they were pumping into her body. The effect of it though, the vividness of the memory, it was not what she expected. Scrubbing at her skin, she tried to wash the feeling of the memory off of her.

Getting her memories back like this was not really what she had hoped for. She knew if someone was willing to change a young girl without consent, then it was never going to be a pleasant experience. Climbing out of the shower, she got into dry clean clothing. She climbed back onto her bed leaning back, she knew sleep was not going to come to now there was no point even trying.

Hours passed as she tried to work out every tiny detail of that the memory which had opened up to her. Non of it made sense, she had no witnesses, she couldn't even identify who did this to her. All she had was what they did, the experience she went through. Even if she told some one, whether or not they believe what she said was completely another this One of the guards brought in breakfast but she wasn't interested, she barely felt up to eating anything, her stomach was in knots. She bit at her nails as she through about it over and over, never really understanding what had happened.

There was a knock at the door, she looked up and saw Steve standing in the door way. She cocked her head, remembering what she read about him last night, she had completely forgotten it since her memory. That information had be pushed aside, she had been too busy thinking about the memory to even remember to think about how she was going to deal with what she knew. She looked away not saying anything, her head pounding from everything.

"You okay, are you up for another combat session?" He asked stepping further into the room breaking the silence between them.

"With the Captain America?" She turned to look at him cocking her head to once side knowing there was no other way of saying it. "Or perhaps one of the other Avengers this time?"

She watched as a surprised expression spread across Steve's face. He even opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. He moved further into the room, shutting the door behind him before turning back to look at her.

"How?" Steve looked a little confused, Isabelle picked up her tablet waving it in front of him.

"I got some answers at least. That you, my brother, are part of secret super hero organisation. Also a person I thought I could trust was lying to me about what actually happened to him. I mean there are photos of you in the 40's. They had to be fakes or you have a relative who looks so much like you and have the same name in fact. I mean you are what around your mid/late-twenties there is no way you were alive in the 40's"

"Isabelle it's hard to explain." Steve shook his head his hand running through his hair.

"Then simplify it and tell me the truth please." Isabelle sat up staring at the blue eyed and blonde haired man standing before her. "I have been thinking all night." She paused stopping herself from mentioning about the memory returning. She looked away, it wasn't the right time or place to talk about this. "Please just try Steve."

"It was me." Steve moved further in the room not looking at her directly, she could tell he was taking his time to work out an explanation for her. "Me in all the photos, I was born in the 1920's. I was part of the second world war and then I crashed a plane that would have killed thousands if I hadn't of put it into the ice. I was frozen for a couple of decades, seventy years before they brought me out of it. Into this world."

"Okay." Isabelle muttered not really expecting that explanation. She frowned for a couple of minutes as she tried to make sense of what Steve said. She looked up to him seeing that he was watching her closely now. This was not really the kind of thing she expected to hear but what he had said sounded like it would fit that story in fact.

"I am 94 years old Isabelle." Steve finally sighed. "I just never aged while I was in the ice, so I look as I did when I was initially frozen."

"How did you survive?" Isabelle looked at him

"That's something I am still trying to figure out." Steve answered shrugging slightly. "I was frozen and some how with my abilities, it must have been enough to keep me alive."

"So if your still about, why would some one bother trying to recreate you?" Isabelle looked at him seriously. "I feel like I am being held back on information which is about me, something which could affect me and I don't know what it is Steve." She looked at him seriously, he sat down in one of the armchairs in the room, she knew there was no point holding back now, that she might as well say everything which had been bothering her earlier. "Look all I want to know why this has happened to me and who did this. I don't even know if I am safe here or what to trust."

"We don't have all the answers." Steve said still watching her carefully. "Honestly, we don't know who has done this to you or for what reason. Except some one did this to you on purpose, possibly against your will and then wiped your memories." Steve leant forward staring at her.

"So did the same thing happen to you as me?" Isabelle frowned wondering if Steve could perhaps answer any of her questions of how he was made this way.

"No." He shook his head. "I made a choice to do this, I knew what I was signing up for." As his expression became distance, she guessed he was thinking back to his own experience but it also meant that he wasn't really the same as her after all.

"Why?" Isabelle frowned looking into his blue eyes. "Why would you choose to do this?"

"That's a long story." Steve chuckled leaning back in the chair. "I was a sickly young man, it was during the Second World War, my friend, everyone I knew had enlisted into the army. However due to multiple health issues I was always declined. I just wanted to do my bit for the country, have a purpose to be on this world. That's when I was enlisted with a specialise science unit, I willingly signed up for the experiment and this was the result. Increase strength, speed, better overall health. A lot of those attributes you seem to also have."

"So why is someone trying to recreate you?" Isabelle asked quietly not really sure if she wanted to know. "I mean what could they want from me?"

"Because in the wrong hands you could be a weapon." Steve swallowed as he said it looking away. Isabelle felt her chest tighten, she had thought it but it was completely different to hear those words come from some one else. She slowly wrapped her arms around herself, not really sure she liked being classed as a weapon. "I have seen it once before, within an organisation who wanted control. They didn't care how they got it or who they hurt in the process. No one knew how to do it apart from a scientist who created me. He was shot by the organisation looking to get the information on how to do it, just after changing me. He was the only one who knew the process and had the only success."

"Could it be them?" She looked at the man who shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Isabelle knew she was asking a lot of questions but this was the most any one had told her so far. Non of it really making any sense yet but she only wanted to try and understand her own situation a little better.

"No." Steve answered after a minute or two. "They fell years ago. Just after I was frozen. The rest of them were mopped up in the aftermath by this organisation."

"So the people who are holding me now, what do they want with me?" Isabelle asked not really confident she would get the truth.

"To only find out the truth about what happened, make sure no one else is hurt like you." Steve said calming and coolly. "Your brother has been working with them for years, back when you were in school. Some of the people here remember you as a child, they are your family in a way. Really Isabelle you don't have to worry or be afraid of the people here."

Isabelle slipped off the bed wrapping her arms around herself. She guessed this was why they were keeping a closer eye on her. She could be a weapon and not even know it. She closed her eyes as flash backs on the nightmare she had last night returned. The pain, suffering as they injected what ever they did to her. She felt the hair on her skin prickle.

"Isabelle are you okay?" Steve asked looking at her.

"It's just a lot to take in." Isabelle sighed not really knowing what else to say. "I don't know what to believe any more."

"It must be a lot to take with everything." Steve muttered making her shrug as he was now stating the obvious. "There are things I am not authorised to tell you but I can at least speak to the person who gave that order and see if it can be lifted." Steve told her making her turn to look back at him with surprise. She never expected him to offer her that. "As long as your honest with me, I'll be as honest as I can be for now with you." He stood up moving over to her offering his hand. "Friends"

"Friends." Isabelle nodded taking his hand still not sure if she should mention the nightmare or not. Deciding perhaps for now it was safer not to say anything and see what happened next.


	7. Chapter 7

Isabelle relaxed as Steve had signalled them to stop. She felt her body instantly at ease, her pent up tensions from that mornings lab tests and psychologist appointment slowly washing away. She had started enjoying her and Steve's time together for these combat sessions, it gave her a release from everything. So where she needed need to hold back what she couldn't say or do. It was her moment of freedom. Steve had however giving her a lecture about how abilities come with responsibility and that you had to be held accountable for your own actions. She kind of understood what he meant however she thought he was being a little over bearing with it. She wasn't exactly like him, where he had more strength her agility and reaction speed was better, they had their differences.

"You're getting better." Steve grinned looking at her as she stood ready herself for there next round of combat. "Your picking up new skills daily now."

They had trained together all week, trying out different moves, techniques and scenarios. Her favourite so far had been the fighting with weapons, it came to her naturally with a knife in her hand, like it became part of her. She even managed to beat Steve a couple of times which was a first. Today however was just back to simple hand to hand practice. Steve was a great tactical thinker, he knew loads of different types of combat and he didn't make her feel nervous about this new skill of hers, instead he encouraged her development which she really appreciated.

"It feels natural." Isabelle looked at him relaxing for a second stretching her shoulders out, her muscles felt better than they ever had since she had woken. "Like I knew it before."

"Nothing more?" Steve raised an eyebrow questioningly. "No memories of this happening."

Isabelle just shook her head, part of her felt bad she had yet to tell Steve about the memory she had, however she knew that it could mean further tests and she was still shaken from the feeling it left within her. She needed more to go on before she told them anything, she needed to know what had happened exactly so it was at least believable.

"Its not the end of the world not knowing Isabelle." Steve muttered.

"I guess." She shrugged trying not to look guilty as she did so.

Steve came at her again, she dodged his initial attack however he managed to hit her on the second attack. She felt the air forced out of her body, her leg struck out colliding with his back, she watch as he fell forward, she jumped forward grabbing his free arm pulling it behind his back. Steve however used his height and weight to flip her over onto her back. Groaning, she managed to roll away as Steve went to restrain her. She got onto her side swinging her legs around knock Steve too the floor, she rolled onto him, pinning his arms to the floor. Steve looked up at her as she let a small smile come to her face as she enjoyed her moment of victory. However Steve used his legs to roll the pair of them pinning her to the mat. Isabelle struggled for a moment, feeling a slight raise of panic within her. She knew and began to trust Steve so she couldn't explain why this worry was building within her. Instinct kicking in she brought up her knee swiftly colliding it between Steve's legs.

She saw Steve wince and groan as he rolled off of her gasping for air, realising what she had done she scrabbled into a sitting position, looking to Steve who was obviously suffering leaning onto the floor on all fours.

"Steve I am so sorry, something, I panicked, Sorry." Isabelle apologised profusely not really knowing what to do, she had no idea why she lashed out like she had done but felt the guilt in seeing Steve in pain. "Steve are you okay, can I get you something?"

"Water," Steve mumbled looking like he was in a lot of discomfort.

Isabelle dashed onto her feet getting his water bottle, Steve was sitting up when she returned. She passed the bottle to him and set silently, feeling really guilty about what she had just done. Steve drank the water taking a few minutes to compose himself. She just stared at him not really sure where that moment of panic had come from. Steve had been nothing but kind to her, some one who she counted as a friend. There was no reason why she felt the need to panic with him in that position, she felt a tremor run up her body as she remembered the feeling. Whatever it was it had triggered some strong feeling within her.

"Steve you okay?" She asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, let's call it a day." Steve muttered still wincing. "What happened then?"

"I panicked." Isabelle answered slowly sitting down beside him taking another moment to reflect on her actions, still coming up with no real explanation. "I don't know why. It was another feeling, I knew it was you but something about it made me panic and I reacted before I could stop myself. I am so sorry Steve."

"Don't worry about," Steve weakly smiled at her. "We have no idea what you have been through, who knows what's memories are locked up in your head."

"You think they are all still there?" Isabelle frowned thinking back to her one memory so far. She hadn't had any further ones since that night, part of her was happy she hadn't but it meant no more answers.

"Maybe, with these feelings you get and if you still have this combat knowledge there perhaps they are." He nodded holding his water bottle in his hands. "Maybe we just need to give you some more time. Until we know what you have been through we are dealing with the unknown."

"I'm Sorry." she repeated not really sure what else to say.

"Don't worry about it." Steve smiled weakly. "Come on let's get some lunch I am starving."

Steve had started taking her to a canteen for lunch occasionally, it was nice just to spend time away from her prison of a room. She picked through her lunch thinking about what Steve had said, while Steve tucked into his food. She appreciated the quiet time, time for her to think. The silence was comfortable between them, neither of them felt like they had to force conservation. She had gotten use to Steve's ways, like how he insisted in holding a door open for her and that he didn't understand womanly topics very well at all, it also made him very uncomfortable. She glanced around the room seeing people were still giving them odd looks, she guessed it was more because they were trying to work out who she was, however it wasn't something she enjoyed.

"Something wrong?" Steve asked glancing up from his food.

"Just still getting use to the side wards looks." Isabelle shrugged looking back down at her plate of food. "It's weird."

Steve smirked, as he continued to eat before glancing the around the room himself. She could see he caught a few people's eyes who suddenly became busy. She just looked up at Steve who smiled back at her, she felt herself relax again in his company.

"It does gets easier." Steve said reassuringly "Look I was speaking to the director this morning, I said I thought it was time to give you some freedom and perhaps an explanation about what's going on."

"Really." Isabelle beamed feeling pleased that Steve had actually done what he said he would. "And?"

"He felt that your not ready mentally yet for a full explanation, apparently the doctors think your still fragile."

"Fragile." She scoffed, she had never thought herself of fragile before, she had no idea why the hell the doctors would think that of her.

"That your still recovering post mind wiping and the coma." Steve expanded giving her a sympathetic look like he agreed with what they said. "But he does agree about the freedom. So you no longer need escorting to your doctors appointments, any testing, to the Gym or here in the Canteen. Also your allowed out of this facility with either myself or your brother."

"What actually be able to leave here for a bit?" Isabelle exclaimed a huge smile coming to her face.

"Yes." He nodded.

Elle grinned at Steve as she continued to pick at her food, this felt like a huge achievement, even though it was very little really. She could actually start having some independence back. She knew this was an olive branch of sorts, that she would have to behave and not screw this up if she wanted more than this. She couldn't stop grinning though. She saw a agent walk towards them, she recognised it to be one of the guards that stood outside her room.

"Miss Barton, your brother is on the phone." He said in a very cool voice.

"Clint." Isabelle gasped, this day couldn't get any better at the moment.

"He's the only brother I know you have Miss." the agent replied obviously not seeing her surprise.

"Okay, Steve?" Elle glanced at Steve almost seeking permission to leave.

"Go, I will see you tomorrow." Steve nodded smiling. "Meet me at the gym at 11 okay."

"Thank you." Isabelle beamed.

Isabelle followed the agent back to her room trying to get him to move a little quicker, part of her was really excited to be able to speak to her brother. It had seemed so long now since she had last seen him. It had barely been two weeks but when it was only him and Steve who she knew it seem to feel like a life time. She wondered why he was phoning, she never expected him to be able to call where ever he was. The phone had been left out for her, she picked it up putting it to her ear.

"Hello." She said hesitantly not sure what to expect.

"Iz." Clint's voice came through the receiver, she instantly felt her body relax when she heard his voice. "How are you doing?"

"Okay, I guess." She answered. "What about you, where are you, when will you be back?"

"I don't know." Clint muttered, Isabelle guessed that it meant he wasn't allowed to say. She paused for a moment not really sure what they were actually able to talk about. "I hear that you have been training with Steve?" He said breaking the silence.

"Yeah, Steve has been helping me develop my combat skills I didn't know I had. I have been allowed to go to the canteen and gym by myself now and I am allowed to go outside if I am with you or Steve." She told him knowing that was all she really had to say.

"I have seen the reports." Clint replied. "I will have to take you out to that café we went too when you were little, they did Banoffee pancakes which were your favourite at the time."

"I would really like that." Isabelle sighed, all she wanted was to remember things like that, happy times she must have had as a kid.

"Where are you?" She asked again hoping he would tell her something different. She already knew he couldn't answer but she just wanted to know when her brother would be back. "When will you be back?"

"I can't tell you and I don't know, sorry sis." Clint replied sounding guilty about it. "I will try and phone when I can but I don't think I will be back for a while."

"Oh." She sighed feeling a disappointment pass over her.

"I know and I am sorry." Clint said sounding a little guilty. "Part of the job kid."

"I understand." Isabelle lied not wanting to make him feel any worse. "I am fine here and Steve has been really helpful."

"I will phone soon okay." Clint muttered quickly. "I have to go, love you sis."

Isabelle listened to the dial tone for a minute before putting the phone down. She lay down on her bed feeling a tear fall from her eye. She felt a overwhelming sense of disappointment move over her, she had hoped he was going to be back soon but he had now confirmed that wasn't the case. She knew she needed to keep on going but she wasn't sure what was going to happen to her now. She didn't want this to be the only space she saw indefinitely, this wasn't the type of life she wanted for herself, she knew that. However there was no easy way of getting any more, Steve had already done a lot to get her a little more freedom than what she had. She just needed to prove that she wasn't the little fragile thing they thought she was but she had no idea how she was suppose to do that.


	8. Chapter 8

_She was pulled out of the van stumbling as she fell forward, her legs felt like jelly as she was pulled forward. Whatever had been given to her making her feel woozy, the fabric bag over her head encased her in complete darkness, she had no idea what was happening or why. It was something out of a hostage movie, the thought alone made her chest tighten. Being roughly handled she felt the fingers of some one dig into her arm as she she was dragged further into what ever this was. Her heart hammered erratically in her chest, she held her breath as she was pushed along. No one spoke a word, she hadn't heard anyone say anything since she was dragged off the street. She was forcefully shoved forward so she hit the floor with a thud. She groaned as she lay on the cold floor feeling her clothes get damp from whatever she was in contact with. A door slammed shut and a obvious locked clicked followed it. Where ever she had been dumped it smelled hideous._

 _She slowly sat up her bound hands pulling over the fabric which covered her head. She looked around the dark room only making the outline of the door. She was alone in the dark and that scared her. She had no idea what the hell this was about, she didn't know what to expect or do in this situation. She felt her pockets, which were empty, they had taken her phone, purse the lot which meant there was no way of contacting Clint, he would not expect her back for hours at least. She moved to the further point away from the door her back against the cold stone wall. This was bad, really bad. Wrapping her arms around herself she waited, hoping that her brother would at least start to look for her sooner rather than later._

 _Her stomach rumbled painfully, licking her dry lips she realised she didn't know how long it had been already. She had been drugged she remembered passing out as she was pulled into a black van, her stomach dropped as she came to the conclusion that it could already be hours or days since she was taken. She stood up moved around the room feeling the jagged stone wall. She got to the door before she started banging on it._

 _"Please let me go." She shouted. "Just let me go I don't know what you want or who you are. Please."_

 _She pressed her head to the metal door, before slumping down to the floor letting out a sob fear consuming her. The familiar click of the lock made her scramble to her feet backing away from the door. Men with masks entered the room she was grabbed and dragged out of the room before being forced into a chair which she was bound to tightly. A bright light suddenly shone down on her blinding her temporarily. She squinted looking down when she saw the bright red staining on her clothing. That and the smell she put two and two together, it was blood, she started retching as she realised what it was. However her stomach was empty, which meant she had nothing to come up._

 _"Female." She heard a mans voice. "Interesting choice."_

 _"Gymnast from what the report said" Another muttered Isabelle looked around the room trying to see who it was that was speaking._

"That is if she isn't a thief." the first of the _voices said. "She could have stolen the phone or wallet, we can never be too sure."_

 _"What do you want from me?" Isabelle frowned not really sure now what was happening, her head was pounding, non of what was happening made any sense._

 _One of the guards stepped forward and backhanded her firmly across the face. She had never been struck before, the pain shot from her jaw down her back, she gasped for a couple of seconds trying to compose herself but warm tears had already started to flow down her cheeks. She now tasted the metallic tang of blood in her mouth. She let out a little sob as she started trembling, terrified what these people wanted from her, this couldn't be happening not to her._

 _"What is your name." The man repeated sternly_

 _"Isabelle Barton." She answered shakily not wanting another punishment_

 _The room went silent, she could hear some muttering between people but she wasn't able to hear what they were saying. She waited silently not sure what she should be doing in a situation like this, hoping this was some sort of really bad nightmare she would eventually wake from._

 _"How old are you?" The mysterious voice asked_

 _"Sixteen." Isabelle mumbled feeling warm tears run down her cheek._

 _"Any health problems?"_

 _She just stared up at the shadows, she had no idea why they wanted such personal information about herself. She was too scared not to tell them now, what if punching wasn't as far as they would go to get information. She could feel herself panic as more tears rolled down her face._

 _"N, no." Isabelle shook her head stuttering slightly as the pain return in her face._

 _"Your a gymnast?" They contained their questions._

 _"Yes but what has that got to do with anything," Isabelle exclaimed, completely confused, really not sure what they actually wanted from her. This resulted in another back hand across her other cheek making her cry out._

 _"She's compatible for the trial, strip her, get her cleaned up before we start."_

 _Isabelle was released from the chair, she was pulled from the one room into another by two guards. The guard who restrained her pulled out a knife, Isabelle struggled against his hold not sure what was going to happen, fear washed over her body as she saw the glimmering metal._

 _"Keep still bitch." He pressed the knife to her neck, the sharp edge daring to cut her skin making her stop moving instantly. "Or else I will end up slicing you into tiny pieces."_

 _"Any sudden moves and your dead." The other hissed against her ear, making her skin crawl as she felt the warm air from his breath hit her lobe as she felt whatever bound her hands together released._

 _A click caught her attention as she saw the other guard point a large gun to her face, her eyes widened as she stared down the barrel. Isabelle let out a sob as she shrunk back, trying to move away from the guards aim, the gun followed her move, she was terrified not sure what these people were after. To engrossed in the gun she hadn't noticed the other guard move behind her, she felt the knife come into contact with her skin before she heard the tearing of material. The cold air to her skin as the guard pulled her clothing away from her body. She was stripped bare, she wrapped her arms around herself trying to protect her modesty. Their mocking laughter as they moved back from her, made more tears stream down her already wet face. Part of her was thankful that she couldn't see their faces as well as here there laughter. She felt so scared, humiliated, confused why this was happening to her. There was noise of running water, she was unexpectedly hit with a blast of freezing cold water from a hose. She gasped in response, her body went into shock from how cold the water was. Her body involuntarily started shaking, she tried to dodge the water but there was no where to go. The water suddenly stopped and she was thrown a small rag._

 _"Dry yourself." The stern voice of the guard ordered._

 _Still trying to cover herself she did the best she could. She kept her eye on both guards as they unashamedly watched her. The guard then handed her a crop top and shorts. She didn't need to be told to put those on, once dressed, the guard with the knife moved forward to tie her hands together again. She didn't know why she did it but she slapped his hand away as he went to grab her wrist not wanting to be bound again, dreading what they hand in stall for her next. This resulted in a punch to the guts, making her double over in pain as the other guard struck her with the butt of his gun. She hit the floor groaning her head pounding. Two swift kicks to the chest and abdomen completely immobilised het as she gasped trying to control the pain coursing through her body._

 _"Stupid move bitch. The worse has yet to come." The guard sneered in her face as he tied her hands together pulling her off the ground._

Panting for breath Isabelle sat up in bed, she was once again covered in sweat. It was still dark meaning she had barely slept a few hours, she thought about what she had just dreamt. She realised it was just when whoever had first captured her, when she was still her and not whatever she had been turned into. Non of it made sense yet but she guessed there was still a lot missing which meant that she had to go through more of these nightmares to get answers. She closed her eyes knowing that there was still worse to come, she was sure of it.

Getting out of bed she couldn't sit around thinking about it, she needed to try and forget what she had just felt and remembered. Quickly changing into drier clothes she looked around her empty room, she could feel the edge of that knife still pressed against her neck. She rubbed the spot where the sensation lingered as she though about the memory for a moment. She didn't want time to even relive that memory again once was enough, heading to the door she opened it seeing a surprised looking guard stand there. She had hardly wanted to move from her room unless accompanied by some one she knew like Clint or Steve but she needed an escape for a bit.

"I want to go to the gym." She stated looking at him.

The guard stared at her suspiciously for a moment before nodding. She walked silently through the corridors, which only had the odd personnel around compare to the days she kept thinking about what happened. The fear she felt haunted her, she could feel herself still shake in the aftermath of what she had remembered. She arrived at the gym seeing there was the two people already using it at this hour. She guessed Steve had previously made sure they were alone. It made no difference to her, keeping her head down she got onto the treadmill hoping a run would be enough to relax her.

She was in the rhythm of her run, just focusing on each stride of her legs, feeling her entire body relax as she settled into a good pace run. She heard a couple of people laughing, making her flash back to those two guards. She shook the thought out of her head, speeding up the pace of the treadmill, pushing herself to go faster. Her muscles started to burn but there was something satisfying about it and something she needed.

"You planning to kill yourself Miss." She heard a male voice ask.

Slowing the machine down she looked to the man standing beside the machine. She didn't really know what to do or say, she just frowned before continuing on with her run. No one had really spoken too her before, it had only been Steve and her brother who had actually chatted to her, everyone else either told her what to do or ignored her.

"So not much of a talker." The man continued smiling at her as he moved around the machine standing now in front of her. She had no idea why there was this sudden interest from him but then again she was the stranger to this organisation using this Gym.

"I am not use to people wanting to talk." She replied seeing no harm of being honest with the man as she guessed he wasn't going any where soon.

"Guess that can be lonely." He continued the small talk, she didn't bother replying to that one as he was stating the obvious. "I'm Brock by the way."

"Isabelle." Elle replied continuing to run.

"So your Hawkeyes little sister." Brock smirked. Isabelle had never heard her brother referred to as Hawkeye but she knew what the man meant, she just smile nodding at the man. "You don't look like him at least." Elle wasn't really sure where this was going. She knew her and her brother had a few similarities, she could even see it. She just smiled at the man really not sure what to say to him. "Looks like your trying to focus on something else." He continued not giving up on non of her replies "Something bothering you?" Elle stopped the machine looking at him, she could see he was staring at her which made her nervous. There was something that she didn't like, she guessed it was the prying, wondering if this was a test she just took a breath in.

"Nope just keeping fit" Elle answered as calmly as possible not really sure what this person was really after.

"How about a spar instead. I will go easy on the newbie, don't want your brother complaining to me about hurting you." Brock smiled arrogantly at her, she just shook her head and smiled. "I know you have done some training with the captain, you don't have to worry I am one of the tactical team, I work with the Cap, as trained as you can get with combat."

"I am not sure." Elle shook her head not really thinking it was a good idea as she slowly started up the treadmill again. "Probably not the best idea."

"Come on, it will be fine I am advance trained, could give the Captain a run for his money, I could perhaps teach you a few things." He continued grinning at her. "I understand if you don't want too."

Isabelle thought for a moment, all the time she had trained with Steve it had made her mind go blank. She needed this release right now. However Steve's words about responsibility popped up in her head. She knew that she should probably not do this but she really needed to clear her head. She slowed her run down into a slow jog as she turned to look at the man again. His black hair and battered looking face she guessed he was a trained agent of sorts and she could probably hold back if she needed. She stopped the machine before nodding.

"Why not."

She stepped off the treadmill and moved over to the sparring mat, what would be the harm in sparring some one new.


	9. Chapter 9

Isabelle sat in the Directors office, she never expected her morning to go to this however on the plus side she had learnt the Directors name Nick Fury. She sat in a dark furnished chair amongst the sparsely decorated office, she knew she was in big trouble. The spar did not go how she would have planned at all, she knew that injuring one of the directors men was something serious and something she really regretted now, however he was the one who said he was trained for combat, so surely she couldn't be held entirely at fault. She glanced to the director, who was busy reading something on a tablet. He hadn't spoken to her since she had been marched into his office by guards, she wasn't sure if she should start but at the same time was too scared to do so. Hesitating, she decided it was probably best not to say anything till at least she knew what was going to happen or asked to talk. Isabelle picked at her nails nervously, she had no idea what to expect from the Director.

"I do not appreciate being called in to work the early hours of the morning." Director Fury muttered putting the tablet down and moving around his desk looking at her. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"I wasn't, he said that he was fully trained and that he had trained with Steve, he asked if I wanted to." Isabelle answered feeling like a naughty school kid who was in to see the principle. However this was more serious than that, so she knew she needed to tread carefully with what she said. "I didn't see the harm."

"The harm, is that why one of my agents is in the infirmary getting his shoulder set back into place." The director snapped making Isabelle wince, she knew it sounded bad but to be fair it didn't look so bad at the time. Brock had only had her in a lock and she manoeuvred out of it by twisting the mans arm and shoulder at the same time. "I should have never agreed to Rogers sparring with you."

"I'm sorry." Isabelle muttered hoping that the apologise would make things better.

Isabelle just looked at the floor, not wanting to look at the director of the organisation she was being kept by, she just didn't want this to get any worse now. The Director was already an intimidating man but with the eye patch over one eye that made him look a lot scarier. She twisted her perspiring fingers together in her hands as she thought how else she could perhaps make things better. She didn't know what to say it all happened so quickly. She never expected to be able to so easily dislocate a man at least twice her size shoulder out of place. There was another knock at the door which made her jump.

"Come in." The Directors voice boomed.

"Do you want me to leave now?" Isabelle slowly rose out of the chair hoping this was her chance to leave. Hoping that was the end of the lecture at least.

"Sit there Barton." Fury ordered pointing to the chair she was in.

Isabelle slowly shrunk back into the chair looking down at her lap, she hated being treated like a child or a prisoner but at this point she had no other option but to do as she was told. God only knew how much trouble she was in over this, she couldn't imagine how things could get worse but was guessing from the Directors behaviour that perhaps things were going that way. The door opened she peeked up to see a confused looking Steve walk into the room, cringing she looked away. She licked her lips realising that now she was not the only person in the firing line, that Steve was now being dragged into this mess as well.

"I was asked to come by first thing?" Steve said glancing at Isabelle before looking back to Fury. "What can I do for you Sir?"

"Miss Barton managed to dislocate one of my men's shoulder last night after a little sparring game between them. As she had been sparring with you previously, she obviously thought that she could now spar with anyone, not thinking about any consequences." Fury said his tone even more serious than normal. Isabelle couldn't help but wince at that comment knowing that this meant Steve was probably in trouble too now because of her. She fidgeted with her fingers as guilt washed over her realising that now Steve was possibly in trouble too now.

"Yes we have sparred." Steve answered looking at Isabelle as he spoke. "However I didn't think she would take that as she could spar with anyone else." She glanced to him to see his eyes had narrowed as she met his gaze. She looked away feeling herself want to be swallowed up. She guessed she had now gotten her only friend into trouble too. "She should have understood the risks." Steve added meeting her eyes. "We had talked about this before." He looked at her, Isabelle continued to shrink into her chair. This was worse than she could have ever imagined.

"I don't want her on base if she thinks she can behave this way, I can't have her roaming around here like it's a hotel Rogers, the science team have done all the tests required and I have no further need of her here. She is behaving like she has no responsibilities and she is getting restless. Without her brother here I cannot allow her out of this base but she isn't ready to do anything alone after last nights actions." Fury told the pair of them. "Barton's Mission is going to be prolonged indefinitely and she cannot leave the base without being put in the care of someone we and Barton trusts."

"I don't need looking after." Isabelle cut in looking up at Fury for the first time hoping this was a chance that he would listen too her. She knew she was more than capable looking after herself. "I promise this won't happen again."

"You clearly didn't think about that earlier." Fury responded raising a eyebrow as he turned and looked at her. "I cannot allow some one with limited memories, a altered human being who does not understand her own strengths out on the streets alone."

"So I am going to be palmed off to some one else until my Brother returns." Isabelle argued getting out of her seat, not caring that this could get her into worse trouble and looking to the two men within the room. "I am a human being, I can't be treated like this."

"Rogers would you consider taking her on and being responsible for her?" Fury asked ignoring her outburst.

Isabelle paused in mid breath as she was about to start her next lot of protests. She looked to Steve who seemed equally taken back by Fury's request. She stared at him hopefully, some one who kind of understood what she was going through. Her heart pounded, as she waited to see what Steve was going to say.

"I don't think I am the right man for the job." Steve finally muttered shaking his head making Isabelle's heart sink with disappointment. "I am only just adjusting to this new lifestyle, I don't think I could help Isabelle adapt as well."

"Please Steve, I would do as I was told and I wouldn't get in the way, you won't even notice I am there." Isabelle pleaded as she looked at Steve hopefully. "I will do anything."

"Rogers, Clint has given his permission for her to be put under your care." Fury explained moving around his desk and crossing his arms. "She would still need to check into base regularly and any have any further tests run on her as required. Perhaps between the pair of you, you could learn things from each other."

"What about my work sir?" Steve looked at Fury seriously. "If I am called away?"

"This would be part of the job and if you had any missions away she would be placed back in base under our care till you returned." Fury answered plainly.

Isabelle rolled her eyes not liking how she sounded like a pet that wasn't really wanted. She sat back down in the chair, knowing this was not the time to continue protests instead waiting for some kind of answer she could go on. She could see Steve was thinking it over, staying with him had to be better than here. There was a knock on the door that interrupted the silence as a older man in a suit she didn't recognise entered the room with a folder in his hand, he seemed to engrossed in what he was reading to realise he had just walked in on a meeting. He looked up unashamed of disturbing them as he glanced at each of them before his eyes fell on her.

"Nick I need your input before the council meeting this morning." The man said finally looking away from her.

"Are we done here?" Director Fury looked at her and a Steve

"Fine, I'll do it." She heard Steve say which made Isabelle jump out of her seat and into Steve giving him a hug before remembering where she was. She pulled away from Steve who looked a little surprise from her outburst, a slight blush rose on his cheeks.

"Sorry." She apologised "Thank you." She let go blushing for her outburst. "You won't regret it."

"She is all yours Captain." Fury smiled sitting down at his desk. "Make sure she doesn't cause me any more head aches."

"Will do Sir." Steve nodded.

"What's going on here?" The man in the suit asked as he moved over to the Directors table placing the folder down.

"Miss Barton is going to stay with the Captain, get her out of the base for a while." The director answered him as he started to open a folder. "And out of trouble."

"Isabelle isn't it." The man looked at her, his eyes fixed on her. "Alexander Pierce, we met before you lost your memories." He offered his hand to her.

"Sorry I can't remember, you know without the memories." Isabelle smiled awkwardly taking his hand and shaking it.

"Well enjoy this new freedom you have." Pierce muttered. "Captain."

"Sir." Steve nodded.

Isabelle followed Steve out of the office happier than she went in. Steve seemed a little reflective but she guessed this was not what he expected when being called into the Directors office. She looked at him as they walked the corridor to the lift, he didn't really give away what he was thinking, which made Isabelle feel nervous.

"Thank you for helping give me some sort of freedom." Isabelle muttered glancing up at him.

"What did you think you were going to achieve by sparing with some one else?" Steve asked looking at her seriously as they stepped into the empty lift. Isabelle recoiled slightly, she never expected him to as angry as he was. "Did you not remember what I told you, how we are different."

"I..." she paused seeing Steve be so mad at her, she lost her ability to string a sentence together. "I...he asked me, he said he worked for you and was trained." She replied trying to justify what had happened. "I didn't see the harm."

"Isabelle." Steve turned to look at her seriously. "You are only just understanding what it is to be different. We have responsibilities and duties. You cannot just give things a try and hope that it will be alright, that is not what we do."

"I'm sorry." She apologised, "I...i wasn't thinking." Isabelle lowered her head suddenly feeling guilty and ashamed by her actions.

"He should have known better, they knew who you were and knew what you were capable of but your responsible for your own actions Isabelle" Steve sighed continuing to walk. "All actions have consequences. Remember that." He muttered as they stepped out of the lift. "You will need to stay here today and I will pick you up this evening once everything has been organised."

"Thank you Steve." Isabelle sighed smiling weakly at him. "I owe you."

"Don't worry, what are friends for." He returned the smile before leaving her alone in the corridor.

Isabelle just stood there smiling for a couple of minutes before heading back to her room. This hadn't been so bad after all, she was technically being punished but her punishment wasn't something she didn't want to happen, in fact it was the complete opposite. She grabbed her small number of items she had putting them into a rucksack which they had provided her. It took her hardly any time at all to pack her items up, she was left sitting excitably in her room waiting for Steve to collect her as promised.

Scientists soon arrived to set her up with a tracking device so the organisation could keep a close eye on her, she didn't protest when they told her that the Director had ordered that she was to wear it constantly. She understood why they wanted to track her but it felt like part of her freedom was being stripped of her before she had even started. Luckily it wasn't as bad looking as she thought it was going to be, a plan metal band around her wrist which would be easily mistaken as jewellery, the only downside was she couldn't get it off. Once it had been secured, the scientists cleared out of her room faster than they had entered. She sat back twisting the band around her wrist getting use to the cold metal against her skin. She couldn't wait to leave now.


	10. Chapter 10

The freedom of living in a flat was a lot better than living out of a ensuite room in the organisation. She had a nice room to herself with a bed, wardrobes, draws the lot, there was windows that she could open allowing fresh air and noise into the room. Enjoying the fact she could now see the outside world, watching people, planes, cars and animals go. Also there was a lovely communal area including a fabulous kitchen with all the appliances, a large dining table where they could eat or work, she liked the feeling of the whole flat. She had completely relaxed into this style of living, the fact she could make her own choices when she ate, or slept, if she wanted to read a book, watch TV or go on the computer, it was her decision. The pair of them had a mutual respect the for the other persons privacy, Steve never came into her room with knocking or getting permission, which she did in kind for him. Steve had been super accommodating in making her feel as welcome as possible, he had gotten her fresh bedding, towels the lot trying to make it feel more like a home for her. She felt really welcomed here, which was a nice feeling to have some where she perhaps now could call home. Steve and her seemed to live well together, both of them enjoying each others company as well as being able to relax in silence without it feeling awkward. They also were able to take time to learn about modern life things together, catch up on recommended TV shows or movies. She learnt a lot about Steve, like that he held onto his older fashioned past. There were old black and white photos around the place, there were also a record player and some books. Isabelle liked the personal touches he had made relating back to his previous life. She had asked Steve who some of the people were in the photos, sometimes Steve would openly talk however other people or times he wouldn't really respond. She guessed it was still hard to talk about people who he had lost during the fight or his time in ice and respected that boundary he put up never really pushing it.

Days had passed and before long it was weeks since she started living with Steve, he was a gentleman there had been only one incident where she hadn't quite locked the bathroom door while showering early in the morning. Which only resulted in neither of them talking about it and Steve blushing every time he looked at her for a few days before they managed to work through it. Isabelle had learnt it was a lot for Steve to take her on as a ward, living with a woman that wasn't your mother or sister in the 1940's would otherwise mean you had to be husband and wife. He was trying his hardest to adapt to the modern times but still this was a big change for him compared to her where she was adapting not knowing any other way of life. They had similar interests in learning about things in this newer world together, catching up on suggested movies and generally advancing in modern society, she couldn't have imagined not doing it with Steve now, between the pair of them they managed to work out most things.

Their day to day life was pretty much a routine, a run in the morning, followed by breakfast, morning coffee out some where a randomly chosen café, lunch, the afternoon she caught up with the world while Steve worked, dinner and then a quiet evening. Occasionally they would go out grab food or a movie for a change but otherwise it was a comfortable regime for the pair of them. Isabelle had started to teach herself to cook again, getting books from the library when Steve had time to take her, finding out she actually enjoyed it, it also made her feel useful, something which she could do for Steve apart from the housework. She knew Steve had given up his privacy for her to live with him and she owed him a lot.

She had had few dreams since the previous terrible one, ones of her early childhood which was less traumatic than whoever changed her. It was nice to remember things with Clint times where they had been happy. All silly little snippets but they seemed to be coming more regularly than before. She remembered her gymnastics training, part of her had thought about taking it up again but with her enhancements it wasn't a good idea. She remembered the trips with Clint out camping when he taught her to shoot, a parents evening when he came as her parent, told her how proud he was of her and a Christmas where he was actually home for once. It made Isabelle feel a stronger connection with Clint, a brother who was god knows where but gave her a chance to definitely understand him and what he had told her about them. She had yet to tell Steve about what was happening, the more memories she got the harder it was becoming to keep it from him. She wasn't really sure how she was going to explain how her memories had suddenly started returning and the guilt of lying to Steve was a burden. Until she had enough information about who had changed her she wasn't really ready to talk about it.

She genuinely enjoyed Steve's company, they had both gotten use to one another and they were relaxed in each other's prescence, Steve had slackened the rules occasionally leaving her alone in the flat and she appreciated that, it gave her time to think and process things without feeling watched. She would often just sit by the window watching the world go by. All those people who didn't know that Captain America lived in that apartment or how their life's seemed perfect to others.

Steve had gone out that afternoon leaving her alone, he had slowly started doing it for longer periods of time now he had learnt she could be trusted. Most of the time she would read or watch some crappy TV, tonight however she as just enjoying laying in bed looking out at the of the window at the moonlight shined into the room. Her mind slowly drifted to her brother, she still had no word about or from Clint since the last time they spoke, he hadn't even called her since her move to Steve's apartment, where she thought she would at least get a call to find out if she was okay. She felt disappointed from the lack of care there seemed to be, that he seemed not to be worried about her at all while another part of her just hoped that he was safe, there was still so many questions she wanted to ask him. Then there was a chance she could actually get to know her stranger of a brother. It was strange to feel feelings for someone she barely knew but it was like they came naturally to feel that way for him. It was hard to explain or think about, she let out a sigh rolling over closing her eyes and wrapping her arms around herself knowing that thinking about it would not make her feel any better about it. Slowly her eyes became heavy as she relaxed into the sheets of the bed, falling to sleep.

 _"Wake up." A voice shouted_

 _Isabelle slowly moved her body, each movement causing a new wave of pain, pushing herself up only to be kicked in the stomach making her collapse and groan. Her whole body ached and throbbed in agony as she hit the cold hard floor._

 _"Get up." The voice snarled again._

 _Isabelle repeated the process this time managing to stumble weakly on to her feet, her body swaying slightly as she kept the upright position as best she could. The world seemed to spin for a moment as she got her orientation. She looked up at the man in uniform, there was nothing to tell where he was from or who the hell his was from the mask that covered his face._

 _"I can't do what you want?" She pleaded swaying on her feet, using the last of her energy to keep standing._

 _"You will fight again." He told her sternly._

 _"I can't." She sobbed, the idea of doing any more than stand was exhausting, placing her hand on the wall to support herself. "I am done. I can't do what you want, I can be what you want."_

 _"Your not done till I am done with you in which case you will be dead." He smirked grabbing her neck and pulling her out of the room. She had no fight left in her as she was pushed along the darkened corridor. It had been the same for days now, she had given up, she couldn't take any more. Her body hurt in places she didn't think could every hurt, her clothes were covered in blood that had dried and was stuck to her own skin._

 _She was thrown roughly into another room, she landed on her chest her hands grating against the concrete floor. She took a couple of breaths trying to draw some energy out of somewhere as she looked up to see a familiar person, standing waiting for his command, a dread filled within her. The person she had been put into the room with all the other times she was made to fight and who she had lost those fights too each time. She didn't know his name, who he was, who he worked for, nothing. A mask covered his entire face which was framed with dark brown/black hair and he wore only black. The only thing different about him was that he had a silver metal arm, it glimmered in even the minimal light, the strength it gave him was terrifying. She felt her heart sink, she had never come out of the room conscious when left to fight him and she knew eventually he would end up killing her._ He stood like a statue barely moving except to breath, waiting for his orders _, she slowly pulled herself onto her knees and looked at him._

 _"Please." She begged hoping he would listen for once. "No more."_

 _He however made no movement, no attempt to even look at her, so she didn't know if he even registered what she had said. Isabelle felt her stomach tighten knowing it was useless to plead for anything. She had done the same now each time, it made no difference. The day she didn't fight back he came at her harder than before it was worse, the beating she usually went through. She had run from him but he was faster than her, she had tried hitting him but he hit her back harder. It was hopeless. At least when she fought she could block a few blows, avoid a few more bruises._

 _"Begin." A voice ordered._

 _Isabelle looked at the black masked man coming towards her, she wondered if this was what she was going to become a faceless person harming others. She had little time to think about any more. He came hard and fast, each move perfectly calculated. Isabelle had a hard time keeping up, it wasn't long till she was pinned against the wall. His weight completely immobilising her. She had no energy to struggle against him she just stared at the mask hoping he would see sense, praying for some hope. She felt his human hand go to her throat as he began to squeeze, crushing her airway. She choked, barely able to take a breath in._

 _A clang against the concrete floor caught both of their attention. Isabelle's eyes widened in horror as she saw the glistening of metal, this meant the worse was going to happen. A knife had been given to them but just the one. Isabelle just gasped as his weight was lifted off of her. The man headed towards the knife, Isabelle knew if he got to it first that she was dead. Without a doubt the man before her was capable of murder._

 _With the little reserve of energy she had left she bolted towards the knife only to be struck down by the mans metal arm. Her head collided with the concrete blurring her vision as a ringing started in her ears. She was still able to see the outline of him picking up the knife. She rolled onto her side knowing what was to come she slowly picked herself off the floor._

 _"Was all of this done to me so you could watch me die." She said hoping some one would listen to her._

 _The masked man turned to her, she saw his attacking stance appear. She stood her ground knowing she didn't want to go out crying or pleading for her life. That's when he came for her again, she was able to dodge a few of the first moves. Exhaustion finally kicked in he slice her arm pretty well. Grabbing at it she was knocked to the floor landing flat on her back. She looked up at the man who towered above her, with the last bit of energy she had she kicked out. Connecting one solid blow to his leg. He fell to the floor but not for long enough, he rolled on top of her straddling her hips, his legs restraining her as he pinned her to the floor. She felt the tip of the knife pierce her neck. She closed her eyes waiting for something to happen. She welcomed death deciding not to fear it any longer. Time seemed to pass slowly, eventually she opened one eye to see the man still on top of her but not moving. A door opened she looked to her side seeing one of the men in charge watching them._

 _"Your ready for training." He said before turning and leaving the room._

"Isabelle." another voice said. "Isabelle wake up."

She tried to roll over realising it was another memory but she couldn't, she felt a weight upon her and something pinning her down to the mattress. A panic hit her hard as she struggled against the weight which wouldn't shift. It wasn't just a memory someone else was there, someone else pinning her down. She used all her strength knocking whoever it was off guard as she rolled the pair of them off the bed. Her arm pressed against the persons throat as she looked down, her eyes wide open. She gasped as she saw Steve beneath her, his hands on her arm trying to push it off his throat, she suddenly realised what she had done.

"Oh god." She scrambled off him pushing herself into the corner of the room pulling her knees to her chest. Her eyes wide as she stared at a shirtless Steve who slowly sat up rubbing at his neck looking at her with a surprised expression on his face.

"Care to explain what that was?" Steve asked rubbing at his throat not sounding too impressed about what had just happened.

Isabelle ran her hands through her damp hair, this had been another memory to add to the painful pile so far but it explained a lot, more than any of the previous memories. Who ever had changed her did it for a reason, Steve had been right, it was to make her into a weapon of sorts, what ever that was it wasn't going to be good. Isabelle closed her eyes trying to calm her nerves while her whole body shook uncontrollably. She had no idea how she was going to explain all of this to Steve, she knew that he would have orders to tell the organisation that she was getting memories back, which would mean more tests.

"Isabelle." Steve spoke up a little softer obviously noticing her distress. "Are you okay?"

She opened her eyes seeing him kneeling before her, he looked on edge but that wasn't surprising after what just happened. He was now probably expecting her to attack him again. She stared at him as large tears appeared in her eyes, slowly she shook her head as the tears rolled down her cheeks. She wasn't ok, she was confused and scared about her past now.

Steve didn't wait another minute, he pulled her into a hug. Isabelle let out a sob, as she held onto him crying. The whole memory scared her and she didn't want to know what was planned for her, she hated how she felt, she was terrified, scared of her past. Isabelle felt Steve slowly rub her back, he didn't ask her any more questions, she was thankful for that. She slowly pulled back realising that Steve was shirtless, she quickly got off his lap, looking away from Steve feeling awkward for a moment.

"What happened Isabelle?" Steve stared at her, concerned plastered across his face. "I can't help you if you don't talk to me."

"I don't think you can." Isabelle shook her head as she thought about this new memory. "It's my past Steve, it's coming back to me, when I sleep in dreams. Its horrific."


	11. Chapter 11

"Are you going to report this to them in the Organisation." Isabelle glanced up at Steve from her mug of tea which she held in her hands trying to find comfort from the warmth.

"I should." Steve muttered sitting across the table from her in his pj bottoms and a t-shirt. His eyes told her all she needed to know, he was worried about her. "Why not say anything about your memories returning?"

"I just wanted my memories back, something which I could put my own explanation too first." Isabelle shrugged looking back down at her tea. "I wanted to understand what happened to me. You don't know what it's like not knowing what happened to you, why it happened or who did it. You choose to be Captain America, it was all your choice, you have all your memories. For me I have nothing apart from these few memories explaining what the hell happened to me."

"So what exactly have you seen so far?" Steve frowned leaning back in his chair.

"Snippets really." Isabelle sighed a shiver passing through her as she thought about it. "I was experimented on they were injecting me with some blue liquid. The pain from it, it was exceuitating but they repeated the process over and over, I thought I was dying Steve. They tortured me, in between their experiments, every time I go there i seem to be in constant pain and then tonight's dream was one of the worst yet. There was a man, a masked man attacking mev. I don't know who they are or what they want from me but I think it is only going to get worse. It was a group though, they had science equipment, guns the lot. That maybe why I didn't want to talk about it to them just in case they were the ones who did it to me. A organisation who can create Captain America could do the same to me."

"It wasn't them Isabelle, Sh, they wouldn't do it." Steve shook his head.

"How am I suppose to know that Steve, when no one will explain to me what it is that you, my brother do for them and how you the Avengers are linked to this organisation that has me under their care." Isabelle explained looking at him seriously. "There is too many secrets which puts me on edge, as whoever did this to me wanted to keep it from everyone."

She watched Steve's response, he sat for a few moments still. He had obviously listened to all she had told him and was thinking about what to say. She was only glad he wasn't dismissing what she was telling him. It would be probably easier for him to just reply she was crazy and needed help. Instead he sat there thinking about what she was telling him. She waited patiently knowing there was no need to rush him.

"I think it would be a good idea to report this Isabelle and perhaps get the answers you want." His eyes meeting hers. She felt her heart rate quicken as he continued. "Perhaps with the right help and in a controlled environment they could help you get the answers you need. Perhaps they could get to your memories quicker now they have slowly started returning."

"How?" Isabelle questioned him not really knowing how any one else could help her.

"Your asking the wrong person." Steve sighed slowly shaking his head. "I know they have a lot of technology and they have the people who would be able to help better than I can. You will need to tell them everything to be able to help you though. No more secrets."

"What if they lock me away." Isabelle said her voice barely audible, she was terrified about making the wrong move. "What if they think I am crazy Steve."

"I don't think they will but they will have to go through me first if they try too." Steve smiled warmly at her which at least reassured her. "We will go together in the morning. I will get a meeting with Director Fury sorted, he can tell you more than I am allowed too but then perhaps they could help with the memories."

Isabelle nodded knowing he was right perhaps some one else could help her. Slowly Steve got up leaving her alone. She didn't fancy going back to sleep and remembering something else. Instead she sat up rethinking the recent memory over and over to try and make sense of it.

She didn't know who the man with the metal arm was. Looking through medical pages on the Internet she found no type of design of prosthetics which match it. The only thing slightly similar was the Iron man outfit she had seen when she found out about Steve, her brother and the Avengers.

Perhaps if the organisation they worked for knew something about it but would they actually tell her. She knew that was highly unlikely, she was only a nuisance they put up with so far. She put her head in her arms as she tried to think about other possibilities. Nothing came to her, non of it made sense it was all a mess. She tried searching for what she knew but came up with blanks, non of it made any sense or linked together so far.

Isabelle stirred her head resting on the laptop when Steve entered the living room, light was shining brightly through the windows. She rubbed her eyes as she took a moment to remember what happened. Steve just glanced at her for a moment before asking.

"Coffee?"

"Please." Isabelle yawned realising she had obviously fallen asleep at some point during the early hours of the morning rubbing her eyes she looked around the room.

"I am guessing you never went back to bed?" Steve commented glancing over at her.

"I just had lot to think about." She glanced to the computer, she must have gone to sleep at some point while she tried to research the metal armed man. She glanced at the photo of the iron man suit which was the only lead she had before looking back to Steve frowning. "Steve can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead." He replied not bothering to look at her as he continued to make the coffee.

"I understand that you may not be allowed to answer but." Isabelle paused taking a deep breath in. "You know how I mentioned a masked man I had to fight in the memory last night. I forgot to add that he had an arm entirely made from metal, it was like a normal arm and hand but made up of a shiny silver metal. I was just wondering if you came across a person like that."

"I can't say I have." He replied after a moment thought as he brought the coffee for her over to the table. "I have never heard of such a person or read any files containing a person of that description. Are you sure it was real, the metal arm I mean?"

"Yes." Isabelle nodded knowing that he was telling her what honestly knew. She leant back in her chair thinking about the man for another moment. She had no other way of describing him or finding out who he was. She finished her coffee in silence not noticing how Steve was keeping a very close eye on her.

After showering and dressing Steve took her back to the organisation on the back of his motorbike. Isabelle smiled as the air rushed passed her. This was what true freedom felt like, it was like flying. She however kept her arms firmly wrapped around Steve for security, she had begun to trust him with everything. She didn't know why it came so easily but she did, it was just something about him. The way he behaved around her, he made her feel safe at the moment, he was honest, kind and he tried to understand.  
Steve explained to Fury what happened exactly what had happened, she could see Fury glancing at her suspiciously as she shifted feeling nervous about the whole matter. Fury looked at her for a moment before calling some one up to his office.

"You should have told us that you were getting flash backs." Fury then said his eye narrowing at her. "However with this information it maybe time to tell you exactly whats going on here."

"Everything?" Isabelle stared at him a little shocked from his thought process.

"Not everything no." He shook his head a small smile creeping onto his face. "However enough to make you understand who we are and what we are doing. We are called SHIELD which stands for the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division. Its a espionage organisation, one where we look at advanced technology, shut down experiments or other organisations which could be deemed a threat to the planet."

"So Steve and my brother." Isabelle looked at the director.

"Clint signed up years ago while you were still a child, however yes, SHIELD put together a group of extraordinary people like your brother and Rogers, hoping it would help protect the earth from other threats that are out in the universe. We have developed technology far more advanced than the world can cope with, things the public aren't ready for yet. We only serve to investigate and protect."

"Right." Isabelle took a moment trying to absorb what the Director was telling her, it made sense but she knew there was a lot which they were still not telling her. She glanced at Steve seeing he was only watching her, his arms crossed.

"The rest you don't need to know." The Director continued. "So could you explain why you didn't tell us your memories were returning."

"I wasn't sure what to do for the best, I didn't know who to trust and I wanted to make sense of what I had seen before talking about it. I didn't want people judging me." Isabelle told him before asking, "what are your plans for me?"

"To help, I want to know exactly what has been done to you as much as you do. If some one is trying to recreate what happened to the Captain I need to know."

"Is that what you think they were doing?" Isabelle frowned thinking about that last comment. It made sense though, she knew Steve was changed, he was faster and stronger than any man around. "Trying to make me like Steve but a darker version, something to be used by them."

"It's the most likely scenario." Fury muttered looking through some paper work not really sounding that concerned. However Isabelle could feel her heart rate spike, she had no idea what to think if a organisation like this believed she was a weapon then that was something to worry about. Isabelle glanced at Steve who she could see looked slightly worried about the situation.

"We haven't told anyone this theory but some blood that Captain Rogers gave to help understand what had changed him went missing during the transition of the SSR to SHIELD." Fury explained handing Steve a computer pad. Isabelle watched Steve look at the report, his expression becoming serious as his face paled slightly. "No one ever really thought anything on it as scientists were then trying to work out the formula but it was decided that it couldn't be recreated from using just your bloods. The research was discontinued and your blood destroyed but not the missing bags."

"You now believe they were taken?" Steve glanced up at Fury. "Perhaps by whoever did this to Isabelle?"

"I do now." Fury turned to Isabelle.

Isabelle felt herself tense up, she knew this was bad if the man in charge of the biggest secret organisation in the world trying to look into this. She glanced to Steve for some reassurance but even he looked concerned. It was only a couple minutes which seemed like forever when a man entered the room. Fury just glanced up at him for a brief moment before looking at something else.

"Agent Sitwell." Steve acknowledged him.

The man seemed a little well emotionless as he stood in the room joining the three of them. Isabelle could feel his eyes on her but ignored it trying to focus on what the hell was happening, Isabelle looked at Steve who was obviously thinking about something.

"Agent I need you to take Miss Barton to the doctors. I have already informed them she is on her way for the tests." Fury said in authoritative tone.

"What are you planning to do with me?" Isabelle spoke up not liking the idea of being kept in the dark. She understood that she didn't need to know everything but if they were carrying out tests she wanted to know exactly what they were planning.

"We have some technology which could help allow us some more information. Normally it's used on agents will full memory something to pick up minor details. Perhaps now your memories started to return we could get them to come back to you faster." Fury explained staring at her before letting out a sigh. "This isn't going to be pleasant for you, it will be intense. We will have to knock you out if we can." Isabelle noticed how he glanced to the Steve. "We will have access to your mind Isabelle. We will see what you do as you dream where you may also feel what your going through."

She knew exactly what he meant, however if this meant a better understanding of her memories then that was the sacrifice she had to make. She looked to both Fury and Steve saying.

"Any information you get using my memories, you will share it with me."

Fury smirked slightly at her request before looking to Steve who just shrugged back to him. Slowly Fury stepped forward closer to Isabelle.

"Fine." He said coldly "but you may not like the answers."

Isabelle nodded not really sure if she liked that statement or not but she knew it was probably the truth. After what she had seen so far, it had not been good, moving towards the new agent before stopping and turning back to Fury. She knew that she needed to do this but there was something which began to bother her. She had just been granted her freedom and now because of this it was going to be ripped from her.

"How long will you keep me for this?" Isabelle asked she didn't want to be trapped here alone again.

"As long as your coping and if it's still alright with the Captain you will be able to continue staying with him." Fury turned to Steve who nodded in agreement.  
Isabelle followed the agent out of Fury's office, she knew this was the only choice she had. Steve walked beside her, not really saying much, she didn't know why he was coming with but she appreciated the company at least.

"What did Fury mean by if they can knock me out?" She looked up at Steve who smiled slightly.

"If your like me, then anything they administer to you or you take in is metabolised quicker than the normal human. The drugs they use to send you to sleep works shorter than usual, nothing to worry about, trust me they have had to do it a few times on me so they are well trained." Steve tried reassuring her but Isabelle wasn't sure if it was of any help.

They arrived at the lab, she noticed the large notices with authorised access only. Agent Sitwell held the door open for her, taking a deep breath in she headed towards it however stopping once she noticed Steve hadn't advanced.

"Aren't you coming with?" She frowned,

"No not allowed." He shook his head pointing at the no unauthorised access. "I have some work to do but I will see you later once your awake."

Isabelle strangely felt disappointed with his reply, nodding she went to continue through the door not looking back at Steve.


	12. Chapter 12

She had been forced to change into a hospital robe much to her disgust, a nurse guided her to a bed where she lay down before they started to connect her to wires. Looking around the room it was far too clinical for her liking with loads of machine and people dressed in white. What bothered her the most was the large machine at her head, she guessed this was what either brought her memories back or recorded them for everyone else to see. She looked then to the doctor and Agent Sitwell who seemed to be in a deep conversation about something. She couldn't make out what either of them were saying but by there body language alone she could see it was urgent and of concern. She guessed it was about her but she worried what was causing them concern, considering she was one of them.

She could feel her heart rate elevate, she couldn't help herself but be nervous about what they were going to do with her. They were going to poke and prod her mind into seeing lost memories while they watched. What if they saw more than lost memories, what if they found out something sinister about her past. Isabelle sat up pulling on the cabling attached to her, trying to sit up.

"Miss you need to relax." One nurse said firmly trying to push her back down onto the bed but failing.

"I can't do this." Isabelle stared wide eyed at them as she began to panic her heart rate and breathing spiking.

"We are under orders now Miss." The nursed replied nervously. "lie down and relax please."

Isabelle just lay there for a few moments looking around the room, there was something bothering her about this, she didn't know what but she could feel that anxiety build within her. She wasn't sure if she really wanted to know more about her past if it was only going to bring pain, hurt and suffering. She could feel her heart hammer painfully in her chest, she tried taking deep breaths to help but that didn't work. She slowly closed her eyes letting out a reluctant sigh she lay down. A sharp pinch made her look down as she watched them inject something into her vein, she could feel her anxiety levels rise as well as her mind lighten and drift before peacefully falling asleep before a flash of blinding white light.

 _She she was strapped onto a bed laying down, she looked about the room. Unable to see far due to the light beaming down on her. She heard metal tapping against metal. She tried looking to see the source of the noise but unable to find it. She held her breath feeling that sinking sensation of fear appear._

 _Suddenly a person appeared dressed all in white a doctors mask and hat covering any clear facial features. Isabelle looked down to his hand seeing he was holding a scalpel blade. She stared at the blade for a couple of seconds before she realised what was about to happen. She pulled hard on the restraints unable to get free from what was holding her to the table. She stated up at the doctor who seemed to avoid any eye contact if possible._

 _"No." She shook her head realising what the blade was intended for. "Please don't." She whispered hoping she could appeal to something within the doctor to stop this madness._

He finally looked to her _noticing how the doctor looked at her for a moment almost observing how scared Isabelle was before replying._

 _"It's for the greater good."_

 _Isabelle watched the knife slowly move towards her skin, she saw the it pierce her porcelain flesh, the blood dribble out around the blade. The pain came fast as the doctor continued to cut her flesh away from her skin. She screamed and writhed on the table however they never stopped, constantly taking samples from her regardless of the pain and pleas she cried for._

 _Flash_

 _She was laying in the cell, shivering. It was so cold, she was only in a loose top and trousers. The floor was damp and cold but she didn't have the energy to move. She felt the tears roll down her face. She felt so weak and hopeless. She was scared, hungry, sore and tired. She hated herself for being in such despair but she knew no one was coming for her._

 _Flash_

 _She was in a large room surrounded by other girls. Laughter filled the room. She was sat on a mat her legs in front of her as she stretched her body. Another girl plonked herself down next to her beginning to stretch off as well. Rebecca a long time school friend, she was pretty, dark hair, skin tone and brown eyes. She looked really pleased about something, as she started her stretches._

 _"Do you see her, she apparently lost her virginity in that cheap motel." Rebecca muttered in a hush tone, Isabelle could hear the bitchy tone in her voice._

 _"Who too?" Isabelle frowned glancing at the girl recognising her Charlotte or Lottie whatever she was called. She wasn't some one who Isabelle had ever socialised with but she knew of her through the gymnastic team._

 _"Don't know." Rebecca shrugged "A football player she is telling people. Doesn't excuse just sleeping with some one for the sake of it. Especially in some cheap arse motel, talk about tacky."_

 _"Mmm." Isabelle sighed looking away and moving positions to stretch different muscles. She didn't want to go into what Danny had suggested about a going to a party and staying in one of those cheap motels. She knew exactly what he was after, however she wasn't interested, it wasn't the right time. She had shot the idea down completely making up excuses about her brother._

 _"That doesn't sound like you." Rebecca moved in front of her to look at her properly. "Are you thinking of doing it with Danny."_

 _"No." Isabelle gasped realising how loud she was. She glanced around the room checking if anyone was within ear shot. "He's putting pressure on but I don't know."_

 _"And what's the problem?" Rebecca asked_

 _"I'm not ready." Isabelle replied feeling a little childish. "I just don't know. I want to wait for the right person and I am not sure it's Danny."_

 _"Your brother would be pleased with that the way he goes on." Rebecca smirked. "Does he still hate Danny."_

 _"Yes please don't remind me." Isabelle rolled her eyes pushing herself elegantly off the floor not really wanting to talk about it. "Right what are we doing vaulting, beam or bars."_

 _Flash_

 _Isabelle struggled as the man dragged her out of the dark room, she was so scared. She had no idea what was going on. She was pushed into a empty room with other people all looking like her terrified. She looked around the room better there was no windows and only the one door. The one thing which catch her eye was the mirrored glass against the one wall beside the door. She knew people were behind there watching them, that was viewing reflective glass._

 _Only minutes had passed before a large man entered the room. Isabelle immediately spotted the rifle in his hands and strapped to his chest. Isabelle knew there was no way of getting that out of his hands without problems. Clint and Natasha had taught her that before, never take on some one who was more dangerous than you. Isabelle watched as he grabbed a older man pulling him to the front forcing him to stand before the mirrored glass. A few moments passed before a voice echoed around the room._

 _"Specimen is not a match." A computerise said_

 _As quick as Isabelle could follow she saw the rifles barrel rise to the mans head. Isabelle jumped as the rifle fired the body crumpled to the floor. A sickening sensation passed through her as she stayed silent. Others screamed, some vomited but Isabelle stood there watching the man who had just murdered a unarmed man looked around the room before grabbing a small skinny boy. He was obviously the youngest in the room. Isabelle could hear him crying, she looked away but it was no use she could still hear his sobs._

 _"Specimen not a match."_

 _Without thinking Isabelle stepped forward in front of the poor boy. She didn't know what she was planning to do but she couldn't watch some one else get killed. Staring at the man with the gun she hoped he wasn't going to shot her right now._

 _"You planning to kill all of us." She looked from him to the mirrored wall trying to sound a lot braver than she felt. "Why do this, what do you want?"_

 _"Specimen is a match." The computerised voice said._

 _Isabelle turned baffled looking at the mirror, before she could react the man grabbed her dragging her out of the room. She watched as other armed men piled into the room. The gunshots fired, Isabelle screamed struggling as she realised her effort to help others had failed. She felt something sharp stabbed into her thigh, as she looked down she saw the syringe embedded in her leg. Her body became heavy as she passed out._

 _Flash_

 _She was mucking about with a Clint, laughing as they were decorating a room. He flicked paint at her making her scream as she launched herself at him with the roller. The laughter filled her with a warmth that she hadn't felt in so long._

 _"This will be a happier home Iz" he sighed "it's not too far from work so I will be home more, offers you some stability. Nat can come around any time."_

 _"Don't try so hard," Iz looked up at him. "Also don't make promises you can't keep."_

 _"I just want you to be happy." Clint looked down at her as he continued to roll paint onto the wall._

 _"So if it makes me happy can I go to that party." She grinned at him hopefully._

 _"Nope." He shook his head chuckling at her request._

 _"Come on I will be back before curfew!" She begged looking at him hopefully. "Please."_

 _"Your home by 10 and strictly no alcohol." Clint looked down at her seriously. "I mean it, if I get a whiff of alcohol on you, your grounded till your at least old enough to drink."_

 _"I'll pinky promise." She squealed._

 _He embraced her before adding more paint to her hair making her scream again as he continued to attack her._

 _Flash_

 _Isabelle stumbled off the floor remembering being pumped through of drugs. She looked at her arms, which were black and blue full of needle marks around her veins. Her body felt no different apart from drained. She looked around her cell seeing it was barely big enough for her. No bed, toilet or sink. Only a bowl on the floor in the corner which she guessed they presumed her to use for her to release herself. She slowly slumped back down on the floor resting her weary legs._

 _She knew this was not going to be good, she closed her eyes feeling tears form in her eyes. Clint nor Natasha were never going to find her here. These people meant business, this seemed to be a operation which had being going on for years. Resting her head in her hands she sobbed knowing that there was little hope._

Isabelle woke laying on the bed her head felt all fuzzy. She looked up seeing nothing she slowly turned her head seeing Steve sat beside her bed reading something out of a folder. She yawned still feeling tired as she pushed her groggy body up.

"What time is it?" Isabelle asked as she rubbed her eyes, her head pounded painfully, she tried to shake it out but it stayed firmly there as if to remind her of what she had just learnt.

"6pm." Steve replied putting the folder down he was reading. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired." She muttered before looking at him and smiling. "and hungry."

"I am sure we can do something about that." Steve laughed for a moment before becoming serious. "But really how are you?"

"I a little confused, trying to put the pieces together but nothing fits. Guess I was expecting too much" Isabelle sighed looking away from him noticing a brown bottle beside her bed on the table. She saw her name on it and to be taken before sleep. Guessing they were to help her sleep and not have any nightmares she looked away back to Steve. "Did it work then, did they see what I saw."

"Yeah." Steve nodded looking a little Solemn about it and guilty.

"Did you see it?" Isabelle frowned suddenly feeling uneasy and embarrassed to have him picking apart her memories too.

"Yes." He mumbled not looking at her. "I am sorry Isabelle. If it wasn't for me and my blood none of this would have happened to you."

"Please don't." Isabelle shook her head "You didn't do any of this to me. So can we go now?" She glanced around the room, it looked to similar to her memories, to clinical for her to feel safe here. She just let out a sigh as her mind drifted to the new awoken memories she had. "I don't want to stay here Steve."

"I'll go and check with the doctor see if we can get you home." Steve smiled weakly at her before heading out of the room.

She rested her head back on the pillow as she thought about what she had seen trying to shift through everything. She knew that this was never going to give her all she needed first time around but she hoped that it would have told her more than this. This was only the start and that was what worried her.


	13. Chapter 13

Steve was waiting for her outside the hospital ward once the doctor had gone through discharge allowing her some privacy to change out of the awful hospital robe. She was tired but just pleased to be getting out of there, the hospital environment made her feel on edge, it might have been from what she had seen and felt that doctor do to her in her memory. However she knew she needed to get out of there as soon as possible. Steve walked at her pace as they headed towards the exit to the garage. Neither of them spoke, she appreciated the space Steve was giving her by not asking her 101 questions about what she had just been through. As they headed into the empty lift Steve glanced at her saying.

"How about eating out tonight?, its late and well easier than cooking." Steve smiled. "What ever you fancy?"

"Something easy, Pizza sounds good at the moment." Isabelle shrugged not really feeling up to eating anything now, her stomach felt like it was in knots.

Steve didn't ask her any further questions as they travelled to the closest Pizza restaurant. She took the time to allow her mind to slowly pick away at the details and feeling she had been through. It still didn't make much sense at the moment and she wondered if it ever was going too. They managed to find a table in the corner as they sat down, a waiter came over with a menu. It was a easy choice of Isabelle she just wanted something plain and uncomplicated at this point. Steve ordered as they continued to sit in silence, she knew Steve was watching her, she guessed he was in some way assessing her behaviour after the procedure she had just had to go through.

"I am okay." She finally muttered looking up at him taking a deep breath in.

"I never said otherwise." Steve muttered looking at her frowning slightly obviously wondering what she meant by it.

"You need to stop looking at me like I might break then." Isabelle responded raising an eyebrow.

She looked at Steve seeing he was now smiling at her, she let out a long sigh not really sure what to say to him, she knew there was probably a lot he wanted to ask but perhaps didn't know how. She had no idea how to really explain to some one what it felt like to have lost memories returned to her. There were currently so many emotions going around her head, after seeing more than one memory at a time it left her only in a state of confusion.

"I just feel really disorientated." Isabelle sighed opening up a little what she went through. "Normally I only see the one memory at the time, which was hard enough to process but seeing that many, having the mixture of the ones I have just seen its confusing. I dunno, I guess its going to take a lot to get use too."

"Anything stand out?"

"My brother was barely around before I left my memories so I should get use to feeling abandoned now." Isabelle replied sarcastically not really wanting to go into the nitty gritty of her other worse memories.

"I am sure there is a reason for that." Steve automatically stood up for her brother, he was after all one of his so called team members.

"Yeah, well at least I know its not just now." She rolled her eyes. "Like I am a returned toy he never really wanted back."

"Don't be too hard on him Isabelle." Steve commented, she could see the worry pass over Steve's face.

Food arrived, neither of them said any more about the matter, after food she was too exhausted to even think about anything else. They headed straight home, she mumbled something about going to bed to Steve as she headed to her room.

Isabelle collapsed into bed, she pulled the tablets the SHIELD doctor had given her out of her pocket, her hands twisted the bottle around in her fingers. The doctor had told her to take them before sleep, she felt unsure if she should. All her memories had come to her in her sleep. These would potentially stop any further dreams which meant she may miss something of importance. She frowned watching the small pills turn and tumble in the bottle. She didn't know what to do. She knew she was expected to take these but something was telling her not too. She closed her eyes and sighed out loud. After the day she had she needed a good nights sleep. She felt exhausted, completely worn from what they had done to her.

Sighing again she opened the bottle and popped one of the tiny tablets into her mouth. She took a sip of water from her bedside table before pushing her head down into the pillows. She stared up at the ceiling waiting for sleep to take hold. It only took a couple minutes before her eyelids felt heavy and her mind drowsy, she sighed as she was pulled into a blank dreamless night.

Light shone brightly through her window, banging stirred her. She opened her eyes before covering them with her hand. She pulled herself out of bed heading to the door which was still making a awful noise. She pulled the door open to see a fully dressed Steve standing at the door.

"What." She snapped before regretting her sharpness "sorry." She apologised, her head feeling really groggy.

"It's late afternoon." Steve muttered looking down at her. "I have been for a run and I was just heading to the gym I was wondering if you wanted to join me?"

"Sure." Isabelle sighed knowing she needed to do something. Her head felt so clouded and heavy, it was uncomfortable.

"Are you okay?" Steve asked sounding concerned.

She nodded glancing up at him not really wanting to talk, he just smiled and left her. Closing the door she rested for a moment. This was not a natural feeling, surely. Taking her time she slowly dressed in some tight bottoms and a long loose top before heading out of her room to find a patiently waiting Steve who handed her a travel mug of coffee.

The journey to the gym was only a short walk, it was only around the corner from there apartment. Neither of them spoke, Steve seemed to realise she obviously wasn't in a chatty mood. It wasn't awkward however which she appreciated, they seemed comfortable in each others silence. It was completely empty, she walked around the room looking at all the equipment.

"Who owns this place?" Isabelle looked to Steve who was taking his jacket off.

"SHIELD bought it when I turned up." Steve explained smiling. "I wanted some where to train alone without people talking to me or staring. They got this place and at certain times its free just for me."

"So who else uses it?" Isabelle continued to question him.

"Other agents but most of the time it's empty. I thought perhaps after what happened with Rumlow you would prefer using this gym." Steve answered as he picked up a punch bag hanging it on a hook.

"Would you train with me?" Isabelle said quietly feeling a little embarrassed to ask.

Steve's head shot up, she stared at him seeing the shocked expression on his face. She felt herself blush by the way Steve starred at her. She knew it was stupid, but she felt awkward to ask for some reason. She didn't know whether it was because of what happened with Brock and betraying his trust.

"I can't." Steve shook his head. "It wouldn't be right to push you any further not with your memories now returning."

"Please." Isabelle sighed staring at him stepping closer. "I need something to take my mind off of well all of this."

She could see how Steve felt conflicted the situation she had put him in but she needed to do something. At least with Steve they were more evenly matched so neither of them in theory should get hurt. She watched as Steve closed his eyes for a moment before opening them and nodding.

They went into the boxing ring Isabelle felt the surge of adrenaline flow through her blood vessels coaxing her muscles into action. Suddenly she felt alive again, her body seemed to respond to the anticipation. Waiting for Steve to make the first move but nothing, she could feel the frustration build within her. She decided to throw a punch which was well blocked by the blonde before her. She could see Steve's startled expression, not expecting a blow so strong.

There was a slight curl upwards on Steve's lips, which she took as him understanding, she just grinned licking her lips reading herself. This time he didn't seem to hold back and Isabelle appreciated that, he came at her with all he had. They moved around the floor using all they space they had, it was like a complicated dance. It wasn't long into their fight when Isabelle felt the familiar and rewarding burn which her muscled had desired. This was what she had been made for after all to be a weapon, perhaps now this was why it felt normal too her. Steve was good, he was quick, seem to anticipate her every move. Definitely stronger then her any way, she knew she would be covered in bruises if only for a short period of time. There was something beautiful about the way he moved and concentrated in this little battle of theirs. He was a good looking man, muscles in all the right places, stunning blues eyes and he was kind. That was what Isabelle liked the most, in all their time together he had only been kind to her. He had become like family too her more than her own brother who had discarded her without a word in weeks.

In her moment of thought Steve had gotten the upper hand grabbing her attacking arm and whipping her around forcing her arm behind her back. His other arm grabbing her defending arm pulling it against her chest. She was pressed against his body her upper body completely out of action. Her breath was knocked out of her lungs, she stared up at him their eyes meeting for a moment. She lifted her legs off the floor swinging them, hoping to unbalance him trying to get free but Steve was already a step again as he felt backwards holding her in place as she landed on top of him, his legs wrapping around her pinning her completely against him. A blush rose to her cheeks as she realised what position they were in.

"You giving up?" Steve panted against her neck causing her to shiver from his warm breath on her skin.

"Okay." Isabelle nodded knowing that there was no way out, her voice quiet.

Steve released her allowing her to roll away, she lay on the floor next to him gathering her breath. That had been a good fight until she had gotten distracted but by Steve that completely confused her. She had no idea why her thoughts had drifted to him like that but she knew that was something she was not interested in. Closing her eyes enjoying the feel of aching muscles and a battered body. There was something satisfying about it, it made her feel alive and awake.

"You ok?" She heard Steve ask.

Slowly opening her eyes she looked up seeing Steve was already out of the ring, looking only a tad sweaty. She just smiled at him nodding not really sure what to make about some feelings she never though she would have for anyone. She nodded looking away knowing that it was stupid, Steve was only a friend, a good friend. Pushing herself up into a sitting position she watched as he went to his gym bag.

"Thank you." She finally said aloud. "I needed that."

"You seemed to miss a trick at the end." Steve replied glancing over his shoulder obviously concerned.

"Distraction." Isabelle muttered pulling herself onto her feet and leaving the ring. "It will kill you." It came out of her mouth before she could stop herself, it was like it had been said to her before. it caught her completely off guard, she just paused for a moment trying to remember why she had heard that before. She shook the thought out of her head thinking it must be out of a film or something as she stretched out her aching body.


	14. Chapter 14

Once home Isabelle had a shower, a cold one, she knew she could not think that way about Steve. It was wrong, he was a friend that was it. Also right now wasn't the best timing, actually it was a completely crap timing with all she was going through. She wasn't sure if it was actually how she felt about him as well, she didn't really know what she felt at the moment, her head was completely messed up, why would someone like Steve want her a complete nut case. She had been distracted by the thought of him, God who wouldn't be attracted to a man who looked that good, was well mannered, kind and considerate. She had to remember it was Steve though, Steve her friend some one she could rely on, some one she trusted. If anything Steve who was more like a brother. Being Captain America could mean he could have his pick of beautiful woman if he wanted, ones without problems or issues ongoing like her. She let out a groan of frustration that she even let herself become distracted for even a moment by him. It was completely a moment of madness, she had to keep thinking that.

A knock at the door startled her, she stared wide eyed at the wooden door acting as a barrier separating them. She waited a moment her eyes drifting to the lock which she cursed as she noticed she hadn't used it yet again. Her mind had obviously been else where, she just stared at it hoping that Steve knew the room was in use.

"Isabelle it's me." She wasn't that surprised that it was Steve, it would have been a shock if it was some one else but pleased he at least knew she was in there before barging in. "Fury called they want you back for more tests."

Isabelle felt a heaviness envelope her as she knew exactly what that meant, more turmoil and things to think about. She didn't say anything for a moment as she thought about what that exactly meant. Sighing feeling all her muscles tighten in worry as she replied trying to sound calm and relaxed.

"Fine I will be out in a minute."

Steve didn't say any more to her, her head slumped, she closed her eyes knowing non of this was going to get any easier. If anything the road she had only just started was going to get harder and tougher as she learnt more about herself.

She rinsed off any soap on her body before stepping out of the shower, drying herself quickly before wrapping the towel around her body. Darting into her room, she took her time dressing not really that motivated to move any quicker for these tests. She knew that perhaps it would give her the answers she wanted but each memory seemed to suck that hope away and leave her with more problems.

Steve didn't come with her this time to SHIELD, instead a car with a driver who either didn't know how to talk or wasn't allowed to talk to her. Isabelle doubted now whether this has been such a good idea now. Was this really going to be her life, summoned when wanted and tested on. It wasn't the type of freedom she had ever hoped for herself. Perhaps there would be no answers after they picked through every memory. Perhaps this would only cause her pain and suffering to go through.  
Silently she did all she was asked to do without any fuss or arguments. It was the exact same procedure as before, she lay on the bed not knowing what to expect to see.

T _he same flash of the painful white light took her into a flat, similar set up as Steve's._

 _"Your not going out with that jerk." She heard her brothers voice shout as there was a pop of a beer bottle opening._

 _"Seriously Clint I don't need your permission your not my dad." Isabelle replied her anger skimming under her skin as she stuffed her purse and phone into her pockets of her jacket._

 _"And your not a child any more." Clint shouted as he entered the room holding the bottle of beer in his hands. "So stop acting like one. I checked into that piece of filth, he is a absolute moron, failing all his tests, he has been locked up for drink driving and did you know he had a STI." She could hear the slight pleasure in Clint's voice as he told her these things. He would know she didn't know that much about Dan certainly not that type of information at least._

 _"What your spying on him now too." Isabelle exclaimed looking at her brother horrified at what he had done as well as some of the information he had given her. "Seriously have you heard yourself Clint, you sound ridiculous."_

 _"Have your slept with him Iz, please say you used protection." Clint stared at her his face very serious. "If you have its fine, we will go to a clinic tomorrow get you checked over and what ever treatment your surely going to need if you have been any where near him."_

 _"God." Isabelle winced. "How dare you. If I have slept with Danny its non of your business. Your completely over reacting like you always do." She threw her hands in the air trying to expel some of her anger. "Where the hell do you get off abusing your privileges that your work has looking into my boyfriend. Its my life not yours."_

 _"He got his STI while dating you sis." Clint took a swig of his beer leaning against the door. "He went to a cheap motel and met up with a girl in your school. Her name is Charlotte, then he went to get checked, do you know what the little shit didn't even have the decency to tell that poor girl in person. If your mature enough to have sex, you should be damn mature enough to take responsibility for those risks."_

 _Isabelle felt like a bucket of ice cold water had been thrown over her as she stared at her brother. She couldn't believe what he had just told her, something in her head told her it made sense though. Danny had been desperate to have sex with her and she kept telling him she wasn't ready. He never gave up or really respected her wishes though, always trying to push her boundaries. Why not go to some one else who was happy to give in to his demands._

 _"Your a arsehole." Isabelle finally managed to say pushing past her brother and leaving the flat._

 _Flash_

 _She was laying in the cell covered in her own blood. Every time a muscle even twitched she felt agony sear through her. She was weak, tired and scared. Perhaps this was it, if sleep took hold of her now she would die._

 _Smoke started filling the room, she could smell it getting stronger. A moment of panic set in as she wondered if this was it. Perhaps they had enough of her, maybe they had finished what ever experiment this was and now they were destroying any evidence. Including her. She lay where she was unable to move away from the smell. Her lungs began to protest as she coughed and spluttered. She was choking and going to suffocate at this rate. She heard a banging at the door but she could do nothing about it. The door crashed opened, Isabelle could see the bright orange and yellow flames that seemed to be everywhere however there was a black shadow standing before them. In front of her. The shadow said nothing lifting her off the floor with ease as she cried out in pain. The person held her close to their body, she had no energy to fight. She felt a blanket wrapped around her covering her from the flames that licked around them. Feeling the heat of the fire Isabelle wondered what the hell was going on. The person holding her kept her close, moving her out of the danger. There was a sudden rush of fresh air on her skin, it was so sweet and natural. That was when she realised she was outside. She looked up out into the night sky, the stars were shining brightly, twinkling in the darkness._  
 _She looked to her saviour, not truly recognising him. His dark hair covering his face, her hand reached for her saviour cheek feeling stubble, he looked down at her brushing a strand of hair off her face before saying._

 _"I'm sorry Isabelle."_

 _She frowned not knowing what this person was talking about, they were strangers why was he apologising. She tried to make out his face in the darkness, her eyes narrowing._

A loud b _ang, like a gunshot rang out, the stranger fell on top of her crushing her. Her head knocked against the ground clouding her vision as she passed out._

 _Flash_

 _She stood in the room furnished with gym gear. She looked around to see armed men at the door blocking her escape. She looked back ahead of her a man who was also armed stood before her in front of a glass reflective panel. She knew more people were watching her._

 _"Lift it." The man ordered her._

 _Isabelle looked to the floor. Seeing the weight laid out on the floor for her, at a glance she could work out there was easily 150kg there. She couldn't help but laugh, it was ridiculous, she was small and light built like a gymnast. There was no possible way for her to lift that weight._

 _"Your kidding." Isabelle stared back at the man. "This is a joke right."_

 _Within seconds she had a butt of a riffle smack her hard in the face, pain spread through her jaw as she spat out blood. She stumbled back rubbing her aching cheek bone looking at the man who had struck her. She had gotten sick and tired of their repeated abuse but she knew better than to push it again. There was no way in hell she was going to be able to lift it. Slowly she approached the bar keeping an eye on the man making sure this was not some type of sick joke. Holding the bar in her hand she stared at it knowing she was not going to move it but at the same time had to look like she had put some effort into it. She pulled and took her amazement the bar and weights came with her. She stared at the weights wide eyes her mouth open in surprise. This was a wind up. She let go of the bar as it crashed back to the floor chipping concrete confirming they were real weights._

 _"Oh god." Isabelle stared at her hands in disbelief._

 _"Again." The man said watching her._

 _"What have you done to me!" Isabelle muttered looking up to him, she suddenly felt sick as she realised what ever experiments and test they had performed on her had changed her and it wasn't perhaps for the better._

 _"Again." He threatened pointing the rifle at her this time._

 _Flash._

 _She paced the empty room unsure why she had been brought to a empty room and left alone. She felt nervous, surely they had something planned for her which she didn't like the idea of at all. She rubbed her hands as she continued to worried about what was going to happen to her. Scared of the multiple outcomes she had come up with._

 _The door opened. Isabelle stopped mid step as a skinny man was pushed into the room. She looked at him assessing the moment, he didn't look like he was part of this organisation who had experimented on her. She noticed how he was shaking, there was bruises around his wrists which looked similar to restraints they had made her wear once. She knew he was a prisoner too, she sighed looking away for a moment._

 _The door closed again leaving the pair of them alone. Neither of them saying a word to one another. A speaker then suddenly blared making the pair of them jump._

 _"You are to kill him Isabelle." The voice said._

 _Isabelle couldn't help but smile, it had to be something so sinister, she was naïve to think it would be anything else. Why not have a nice brew with him or just have a lovely chat. No it had to involve some blood shed, she just sighed shaking her head looking to the now terrified man before her._

 _"I am not a murderer." Isabelle said aloud knowing they were listening to her as well as watching._

 _"Kill him or we will kill the both of you." The voice told her._

 _"Fine." Isabelle looked to the floor knowing she was going to die at some point by their hand. "Kill us both, I am not hurting any one."_

 _The door opened and four armed masked guards entered the room. Isabelle turned to face them crossing her arms waiting for some type of response. One guard approached her holding a pistol in his hand. She narrowed her eyes slightly assessing the moment till she grabbed the pistol arm yanking it hard as well as twisting it. She heard a crack as the man cried out she guessed she had broken some bone of his. The other guards raised there guns pointing it at her as she released him allowing him to drop to the floor. One of the end guards turned pointing it at the unarmed male prisoner firing. Isabelle screamed as she came to the realisation that this was their plan all along. They would never kill her, it had all been a test and now another man had died._

 _She collapsed by the injured guard staring at he blood coming from the dead prisoner. This hell would not end._

 _Flash_

 _She was walking the streets still fuming with Clint saying what he did and upset that a relationship she thought was going some where was a joke. She wrapped her arms around herself feeling the cold air against her skin. She knew Clint was only trying to protect her, she only had Clint. It had always just been them, he had looked after her from a young age, been a father and a mother she never had. She touched the necklace Clint had given her knowing he did what he did because he only cared about his little sister._

 _Sighing she knew she needed to go back and apologise to him for being a brat. She stopped on the quiet pavement looking at where she was. She had been so annoyed with him she had lost track where she had walked._

 _A screech of a van brought her out of her thoughts, she watched the black vehicle head towards her at speed. Her brain only processing it was unmarked as it stopped in front of her. Two men in balaclavas jumping out and striking her across the back of the head. She stumbled as they bundled her in the back of the van before she passed out._

 _Flash_

 _She was in the warm comforting embrace of someone, her eyes closed as she felt finally safe. Her heart pounded erratically for this person as their strong arms wrapped around her small frame._

 _"I won't let them hurt you." This time the male voice felt familiar yet at the same time she didn't recognise it._

 _She took reassurance from those spoken words while her head was resting on his chest, as she listened to the comforting noise of his heart slowly beating, closing her eyes just to focus on that noise. She felt him brush the hair off her face holding her tight as the fear slowly disappeared from within her._

 _"Thank you." She whispered her body relaxing against his his._


	15. Chapter 15

When Isabelle woke, she slowly pushed herself into a sitting position looking around the room she found she was alone, part of her were disappointment. However she had no plans of spending any more time in this hospital bed than needed. The last memory seemed to stick with her. She had found comfort with some one amongst that horror but who. Her heart pounded in her chest the more she thought about it, she needed fresh air, she needed space, time for her to think or not think what ever she wanted. Climbing out of bed she got up finding her clothes with ease and dressing quickly. She slowly moved to the door checking the coast was clear before she made her move. Once out of the room she moved quickly trying to look unsuspicious and confident, so not to get stopped by anyone. Once outside the head quarters she took a deep breath in of the night sky, the air was cold upon her skin. Her heart pounded in her chest, she knew this was going to get her into big trouble but she needed a break from it all, SHIELD, Steve and her memories. If she was going to do this properly she needed to ditch the tracker that SHIELD put on her, her hand rubbed the metal on her wrist. This was the last chance she could stop herself from doing something so stupid, looking back to the SHIELD building she smirked shaking her head, no one was going to stop her for once. Banging the tracker against a corner of some concrete as hard as she could, she heard it click, looking at her bruised wrist seeing it was undone. It obviously wasn't that secure as she yanked it from her wrist. Throwing it as hard as she could she dumped it in the large lake surrounding SHIELD.

She knew she had broken protocol but she needed time alone, she had learned a lot in the pass two sessions and it confirmed that she didn't want to know any more. She only ended up more confused each time she woke, she didn't really know who she was or what had happened. She had just walked, not really sure where she was going or what she had actually planned to do, her brain felt fuzzy with all what had happened. Feeling the cool night air pass her by, she pulled her jacket tighter around herself. She needed to get out of the cold but she wasn't ready to head back to Steve's and get lectured about living her own life. She stopped staring around the street she had been walking down. There were a number of bars, she never really been out drinking before but right now it sounded like a great idea. She was of age after all, so it wasn't like she couldn't now.

She found a bar with not too many people within, stepping inside, it was her first time in a establishment like it and she suddenly felt out of her depth. She stepped up to the bar sitting herself on a stool. She looked around everyone else seemed comfortable in the environment they were in, some people were talking together others alone reading or just relaxing. Hearing a cough she looked to the man standing in front of her cleaning a glass.

"What can I get you?" He asked smiling at her in a way which made Isabelle feel slightly uncomfortable.

"Oh." She frowned looking around not really sure what she should order. "What would you suggest is good? I am not from here." She smiled weakly at him hoping that was something usually said.

"New in town." He smiled chuckling as he leant on the bar looking at her, his dark eyes sparkling. "That's fine. What are you looking for, what type of day have you had."

Isabelle paused not really sure where this bloke was going with these questions. How to explain that all her memories had been taken from her, she had been strapped into a machine so she could regain some to find out the horrors and nightmare of her life before this. She guessed telling the truth wasn't really a option, she would already be in enough trouble by now let alone spilling SHIELD secrets. She looked at him feeling a little guarded as she replied cryptically.

"Not the best really." She shrugged off handily.

"Problems of the heart?" He grinned raising an eyebrow.

"I suppose." Isabelle nodded thinking it was close enough to losing your memories and being tortured.

He got out a bottle of golden liquid and poured her a glass. She looked at it before tasting it, it was warm, full of flavour and delicious. She licked her lips where residue of the liquid sat before placing the remainder of the glass down. She looked at the man who served her, he grinned watching her every more and reaction.

"It's a good local scotch. I find it works any way but its not every ones taste." He explained as he placed the bottle back onto the shelf. "However its seems you have good taste."

"Maybe." She nodded

She stared at the numerous bottles that stood behind the bar, all different colours and shapes, it was beautiful in a way. She sipped at her drink and thought about the further memories that had been unlocked. A buzzing from her pocket brought her out of her thoughts. She pulled out her phone looking at the name seeing it was Steve. She cancelled it not wanting to really talk to him, turning her phone off. She guessed SHIELD had realised what had happened so the search parties must be out looking for her, she wasn't going to worry about it, for once she was just going to enjoy something.

"Boyfriend?" The bar man asked as he returned to stand opposite her leaning on the wooden bar.

"No." Isabelle shook her head "Just a friend."

"Good as the man over there." He pointed looking at a man in corner in a well dressed suit staring at her. "Has bought you this." He brought out a tall glass with that sparkling liquid.. She stared at it for a moment not really sure what to do. "Is that ok?" The bar man frowned.

"Yes, sorry my heads in another place at the moment." Isabelle continued with the story. "Would you thank him for me please?"

"Of course. I'm Matt by the way." He introduced himself holding his hand out.

"Isabelle." She replied taking his hand and shaking it, for once feeling a little more normal from this simple conversation.

Drinks seemed to keep coming, Isabelle was kind of enjoying the attention too. She chatted to complete strangers listening to their lives, they sounded completely normal and something which she wished for herself. It was just nice to be considered a normal girl, sitting in the bar and meeting people. She drank all she was given till she was nearly falling off her stool. Her head was spinning but she felt so good at the same time. But the pain of the memories were gone.

She went to stand up thinking perhaps it was time to head home but stumbled Matt was suddenly there taking hold of her his arms wrapping around her petite frame holding her in place. She looked at him giggling.

"I think I need to get home." She muttered grinning stupidly.

"Let me give you a hand, my shift has finished so." He smiled back at her. "come on let's find a cab."

"Don't I have to pay or something?" Isabelle stammered trying to stand on her own.

"It's been covered," Matt answered "you have had more drinks bought for you than you could drink. You are definitely a hit with the men, your stunning."

"What?" Isabelle stared at him confused not really sure what he was saying.

"Your a beautiful woman." Matt looked at her amused "you know that right?"

Isabelle felt herself blush not really sure what to say in reply to that, Matt said no more to her, he managed to call them a cab. He helped her get in and sat beside her. She glanced at Matt as she gave her address knowing that she was probably going to get in a lot of trouble but for once she didn't regret or wasn't worried about what was going to happen, it was worth it just for those few hours.

The ride itself was short but Isabelle suddenly felt uncomfortable as she noticed Matts hand rest itself on her leg, his thumb moving in circles against her thigh. She stared at it her heart pounding not really sure what to do. No one had given her such attention and she wasn't sure if she liked it or not. They arrived outside the apartments where Steve's flat was. She climbed out of the cab stopping herself from falling turning to say good night to Matt before realising he was out of the cab too.

She stared at him not really sure what to do in this situation. Not thinking to much about it she continued to move to the door opening it tripping over a step. Matt once again caught her laughing.

"I think you had too much booze. Not much of a drinker huh."

"No not really. I will be fine from here." Isabelle turned in his arms pushing him away slightly trying to make sure they kept their distance. "I am sure Steve who I live with be up waiting."

"The boyfriend?" Matt frowned suspiciously.

"No." Isabelle shook her head "Steve is just a mate looking out for me at the moment."

"Good." Matt smiled still keeping hold of her. "I would feel better if I at least took you to the door."

Isabelle thought for a moment it was a reasonable request. He helped her up the numerous steps. She paused outside Steve's door her head clearing slightly she turned around to thank Matt for his assistance. She suddenly found herself pushed against the wall his lips against hers. She panicked pushing him back momentarily stuttering.

"What the hell."

"It's what you wanted right." Matt smirked leaning back in to kiss her again. "Why else take me to your flat."

"Get off me." Isabelle raised her voice. panic setting in. "No" She hissed through gritted teeth as he tried again.

She felt herself tense up, she didn't want to use all her strength against him knowing it would more than likely hurt him. She felt suddenly cornered as if she reacted in the slightest way wrong, she could hurt some one or worse. She knew she was meant to keep a low profile. As she contemplated what to do she heard another familiar voice say sternly.

"The lady said no."

Matt pulled away to look at a very annoyed Steve standing in front of them arms crossed. Isabelle stared at him, for the first time he looked large, intimidating and a little scary. She just stared at him her back still being pressed against the wall by Matt.

"Private party here." Matt muttered glaring at Steve.

"Look she said no, now call it a night and go home." Steve eyes narrowed as stood there looking even fiercer. "Or do I need to explain another way."

"You coming." Matt turned to look at Isabelle as he stepped back holding his hand out.

She shrunk a little under his gaze, shaking her head instead of reply. She watched as Matt walked off obviously pissed off that he didn't get the outcome he planned. She quickly slipped into the apartment trying to avoid Steve.

"Where are you going?" She heard Steve say anger still in his voice. "Do you know how worried we have been?"

She turned on the spot looking at him, she felt the floor move beneath her knowing it was the drink affecting her. She just stared at him unable to reply. She watched as Steve came closer looking at her before he moved her to the table sitting her down. She wasn't sure where he was going with this. He went into the kitchen, she heard clanging and the smell of coffee hit her nostrils.

Moments later Steve returned with toast, coffee and water setting them down on the table in front of her. He then sat opposite her watching her as she tucked into the food and drink.

"Thank you." Isabelle finally said. "And I am sorry to cause trouble but I needed to get away."

"Well it wasn't what I expected tonight to go." Steve leant back in his chair staring at her. Isabelle frowned questioning his comment. "After my change I can't get drunk but you obviously can. I was thinking you had run away not gone to a bar."

"I needed to clear my head, to get away from all of it." Isabelle sighed sipping at the water. "The memories they were well to much." She paused for a moment knowing Steve will get to see the images SHEILD had from today. "I saw the beginning of it all and the end. I don't want to know any more."

"We can stop the treatment." Steve muttered thinking. "It won't stop you from remembering though."

"I know." Isabelle yawned feeling a sudden wave of exhaustion.

"You need rest, we will sort the rest of this mess tomorrow together." Steve stood up. "I will need to tell Fury your not coping but perhaps with longer breaks between sessions maybe that would help."

Isabelle nodded standing to her feet feeling a little more with it, she glanced at Steve smiling in thanks. She headed towards her room stumbling as she went. Steve grabbed hold of her, stopping her from hitting the floor, pulling her tight against his chest. Isabelle gasped at the hardness of it as her hand spread against it, a warmed spread up her body . She looked up her heart pounding as her eyes met his bright blue ones. He was so painfully close, holding onto her gently, she raised her head, standing on tip toes, her lips hesitantly meeting his. She knew the boldness was down to the drink but it felt good. She could tell he was surprised by this sudden move by her. She felt his hands freeze, she wasn't sure if he wanted this or was just too polite to say no to her.

Pulling back blushing she stepped away moving to her room quickly. Her heart thudded hard in her chest as she shut the door behind her. She didn't dare look behind her at what Steve was doing. She ran her hands through her hair as a sinking feeling began in her stomach. What the hell did she just do.


	16. Chapter 16

Isabelle lay in bed the following morning, her head pounding and still feeling like a complete idiot after last nights actions. She was so embarrassed, if it wasn't only Steve saving her from another man trying it on, it was how she then went and kissed Steve. She had no idea how she was going to face Steve now. He had been so good to her, letting her live with him and helping her get her head around this world. Rolling over in bed she buried her head in the pillow groaning. Things had to go from bad to worse within a day!

She looked over to the half drawn curtains to see what time roughly it was. Light had just began to shine through the buildings into her room, it was still early in the day. She knew Steve would be up now. He was always up early in the morning, going for a run. She hadn't heard the door shutting but Steve wasn't one to miss out on his morning run routine. She moved slowly out of bed, her head protested in the change of position but her bladder demanded a release in pressure more. She opened the door to her room making her way to the bathroom. There was no sign of Steve which she was thankful for.

She showered and tried to get her body to wake up a little more, hoping the warm water would help. She kept her eyes closed thinking about the night before actions. She was a complete idiot, that was all she could think about, she could believe how she had acted especially towards Steve. Wrapping a towel around herself she stepped out of the shower before looking in the misty mirror. She looked ill for the first time, she knew physically it would not be long till her body was in perfect condition. It had only been 6 hours since she finished drinking, 5 hours since kissing Steve and she was already feeling a lot better physically.

Wrapping the towel tightly around herself she slowly opened the door she glanced around the living area seeing it was still empty. She stepped out heading to the kitchen grabbing the Orange Juice from the fridge and pouring a glass. Her first sip was so refreshing, just what she needed. She leant against the counter wondering how long this arrangement with Steve would now last. Hopefully Clint would be home from wherever then perhaps she could live with him, if that would be any better she didn't know. She couldn't see any problem with SHIELD allowing that, considering he was her brother. The only issue was she hadn't heard from him since moving in with Steve and that had been weeks now, months since she last saw him. She knew she relied on Steve to have some form of normal life instead of being coped up within SHEILD.

After dressing in a long T-shirt and leggings she started on breakfast, she hadn't eaten a solid meal in a while and her stomach was beginning to demand nourishment. She started cooking for herself, only doing the basics frying up some eggs, bacon, tomatoes and mushrooms. Popping some toast in the toaster she sat up on the counter staring at her meal cook. Her head was all over the shop, the only thing she could put it down to was that none of these memories were adding up at the moment. All she could think about was the man with the metal arm, he worked for them, he was part of her torture, he was the only one who if she saw again she would recognise just from the arm. She didn't recognise anything else, if only there was some form of connection which she understood.

Eating alone she glanced to the cloak for the first time. It was already 11 o'clock, frowning it was strange that Steve had been out for so long. He had never left her alone without a note or a phone call. She sighed picking up a coffee and sipping it as she thought he was probably trying to process what had gone on himself and why she had kissed him. She couldn't even really answer that question, yes he was attractive in looks and personality but that was it, he was a friend and she had told herself that. She could only think he must be avoiding at her now. He still wasn't really with the time or speedily adjusting to the modern world, holding onto his 1940's etiquette but that made him who he was. She guessed it was why she trusted him, there was no hidden agendas with Steve, you got what you saw. Isabelle flicked open the laptop and turned it on. Once loaded she opened the Internet browsing page and typed in 1940s and dating trying to understand how Steve possibly felt right now.

After reading a few pages Isabelle realised how Steve must be battling with his own issues about the kiss. Woman back in the day did not throw themselves at men, kissing before dating was a little taboo and well living with a woman who wasn't your wife, mother or sister was not heard of. She guessed Steve was a little more than embarrassed like her. She closed the laptop leaning back trying to devise a plan to speak to Steve, if they were going to live together they needed to sort this out. At least find a way to start over after her stupidity.

It was late in the afternoon when Steve returned to the apartment, Isabelle was laying on the sofa dozing when she heard the click of the key in the door. She sat up looking over the back of the couch, she saw the door open and Steve walk in empty handed. She guessed he definitely needed time to think after all. She noticed how he looked up spotting her, a slight awkwardness coming over him. She stared at him as he shut the door turning to face her, heart pounding she stood up all the planned talk she had going completely out of her head. She was completely speechless, she had no idea what she was going to say. Both of them stood there in complete silence.

"Hi." Isabelle finally managed to say quietly feeling rather sheepish about the whole thing again.

"Hey." Steve replied moving further into the room a blush rising to his cheeks.

Isabelle frowned not really sure how she was going to approach the subject with him now he had returned. All her good intentions of sorting it had gone, she suddenly felt shy and embarrassed around him. She really just wanted to head to her room and avoid the whole topic, she knew however that would possibly ruin their friendship.

"Look we need to talk." Steve blurted out a blush rising to his cheeks as his eyes met hers. "About what happened last night" he continued a little slower. "The kiss."

"Steve I am sorry, I was drunk, very drunk and did a lot that I wouldn't normally do." Isabelle sighed looking down at the floor. "Can we just forget about my moment of stupidity and go back to how things were?"

"Is that what you want?" Steve asked she could hear the questioning tone in his voice as she was unable to look up.

"I don't know." Isabelle shrugged answering honestly knowing Steve would appreciate the truth more than a lie. "I just want us to go back living together like we were. Be friends and not feel like this."

"I don't think it works just pretending it didn't happen." Steve stepped a little closer running his hand through his blonde hair flustered about the situation. "I have never done this."

"Where did you go today?" Isabelle asked trying to avoid the situation completely feeling out of her depth talking about it. She stepped further away from Steve heading into the kitchen tidying away the food prep from earlier.

"Too see an old friend." Steve replied, Isabelle looked up he had never really mentioned any friends outside of SHEILD. She raised an eyebrow feeling a little curious about this new revelation. "From a previous life." Steve continued seeing her gaze. "Her name is Peggy, we worked together in the 1940's."

"Oh." Isabelle sighed as she continued wiping down the surfaces not sure what to say. "I thought you were avoiding me?" She glanced up blushing again while mentally kicking herself for bringing up the embarrassing subject again.

"I was." Steve smiled starting to give her a hand with the cleaning making the proximity to her rather close. "I needed advice, on what to do after well."

"Oh." Was all Isabelle was able to reply again trying not to think to much about what he was saying but focusing on cleaning.

"I needed to talks to some one who knows me about what had happened." Steve muttered "Between us." This made Isabelle's head shoot up so she was looking him straight in the eyes. "We were close once, I mean Peggy knows how I don't understand women." Steve blabbered obviously getting flustered.

"Steve you don't need to explain." Isabelle mumbled moving away feeling her stomach starting tighten from the awkwardness. "It was a mistake on my part. It won't happen again."

The silence was worse, Isabelle couldn't make herself even look at him. She left him in the kitchen alone going to her room to get some space. She couldn't bare another moment of embarrassment. Collapsing down on her bed she groaned into the pillow before curling up into a ball hugging the pillow for comfort wishing she could time travel. At least then she could possibly tell herself not to do something so stupid. She wondered how the hell she could make this better between them, however nothing came to mind.

Rolling onto her back she looked up to the ceiling, she felt so foolish and embarrassed. She let out a sigh, she had no idea why she had done it, it was just a moment. She thought she had all the answers to how she felt now but obviously not. Subconsciously it must have been something, yes she found him attractive physically and from how he acted but he was her friend the only one she had and perhaps lost. Maybe it was because of how he protected her from that guy last night, stepping in when needed. She knew she could try picking away at every detail but it still wouldn't give her the answer she wanted.


	17. Chapter 17

Isabelle tried avoiding Steve for the rest of the day, which was near damn impossible when you lived with the some one, however she tried the best she could. A call from SHIELD to continue pulling memories was almost a welcome. She knew she needed to decide what she wanted to do, if she really wanted to continue having her memories forced back into her head. She rubbed her forehead anticipating the pain that she would feel later on that day.

As like before Steve had work to do, so she went alone giving her some much needed space. Isabelle knew she was being stupid but she didn't know how to act around Steve now, it was like a barriers were up and it made it awkward. She knew she had broken some type of trust or rules of friendship between them, she had been the one to kiss him. She felt like a utter fool, why in hell did she do something so stupid, this had ruin their relationship, her only friendship.

The car slowed and stopped within the usual garage, Isabelle stepped out of the car seeing a guard and doctor waiting for her. She looked at them only raising a eyebrow, she wasn't use to such a welcoming party.

"We are to escort you to and from the lab this time miss Barton." The doctor explained to her.

"Guess you heard about my excessive alcohol intake." She smirked rolling her eyes.

Neither of them answered she sighed as they silently escorted her to the lab. Once she arrived at the Lab, the scientists placed a slightly larger and more robust tracking device on her wrist. She looked at it slightly disgusted that she had to have another slightly uglier looking one place, but she knew there was no point arguing it, they would never listen any way. Now use to the procedure it wasn't long till she was lying on the table all hooked up to the devices. She felt the cold anaesthetic being administered into her body as her eyes slowly drifted shut. There was only a short flash of blinding light.

 _She stepped under the freezing water her body trembling as the crimson water ran off her body. Shaking she stared at her hands where there were still traces of blood. Her body was in shock, there was a ringing in her ears. She quickly started scrubbing at her skin wanting it all to be just a bad dream to wake up at home in her own bed. She had killed some one, a innocent person, she was a murderer. Tears mixed with the water from the shower as she let out a sob and a scream before collapsing in a heap on the floor. Closing her eyes she remembered coming from the trance, she could remember what ever they had given her leaving her body when she saw the bloody beaten body lying lifeless on the floor. Her eyes snapped open as she rolled onto her knees vomiting onto the wet concrete floor._

 _The water from the shower switched off, she slowly pushed herself to her feet picking up the towel left for her. A reward they called it for being what they wanted. They rewarded her for killing a man, just to prove what she was capable of._

 _Flash_

 _She was sitting by some water, the sun was warm on her bare skin. A light breeze blew around her, she glanced over her shoulder to see Clint walking over with two ice creams. Letting out a sigh she knew what was coming, he was getting far to predictable. A nice day out followed by the I am going away for a bit for work. Clint sat down beside her passing her the ice cream. She pulled the wafer out of it using it as a spoon, neither of them spoke for a while, just enjoying people watching. Isabelle's eyes fell on a young boy both his parents swing him back and forth while he roared laughing. She only dreamt of such a relationship with a parent figure, Clint tried and she knew that. She certainly didn't blame him for their parents being a complete waste of space. He had been dumped with a little sister he never wanted, he could have lived a normal life on his own rather than being depended on._

 _"Look Iz." Clint began sheepishly._

 _"Your going away and you don't know when you will be back." Isabelle finished looking at him, it was the same every time, he would plan a nice day out with then the added disappointment that he was going away with work. "Who am I going to be dumped with this time?"_

 _"Well with Kelly living next door, I was going to suggest you stay by yourself but Kelly will check in a couple times a day with her own key, just to make sure everything is how I like it." Clint smirked at her. "But if you want to be dumped, I am sure I could speak to a few people."_

 _"Your trusting me." Isabelle's eyes widened in surprised "really."_

 _"I was thinking it was time I treated you a little more like an adult." Clint shrugged smiling slightly at her response before becoming more serious. "But I expect you to keep the place tidy, no boys are allowed in the flat, no parties, your not to go out all hours of the night and you need to go to school and do your homework. If I hear anything else is going on, that's it your shipped off to boarding school."_

 _"Oh my god, thank you, thank you." Isabelle squealed hugging him. "I won't let you down."_

 _"I trust you kid." Clint laughed as he squeezed her back._

 _Flash_

 _She had declined food for days, she just wanted it to end, the pain and torture was too much, she lay on the floor not wanting to move, her body had began to ache constantly. The door to her cell opened as she was cuffed and dragged out by the guards, she could barely be bothered to struggle. She was taken to the lab, pushed onto the table. Strapped down, even without struggling, but she had given up, her fight had been taken from her._

 _A masked man came over to the table listening to the guards tell him that she had not eaten for days, the man turned to look at her, she couldn't see him clearly as the bright light in her eyes stopped her. She tried to squint but it was useless, her head felt so fuzzy it would have made no difference._

 _"If you don't eat you will be forced food, we won't let you die at your own hands Isabelle." The voice was familiar like she had heard it before. She knew the person that she was sure. "Hold her down. Doctor tube feed her."_

 _She felt the guard take hold of her head, she knew what they were going to do. The best she could do was squirm against the restraints. She felt the cold metal gag placed into her mouth, it was opened click by click, straining her jaw wide open, the more she struggled the more it hurt. The doctor took their time before returning with a tube, she was firmly restrained so unable to move. Her body too weak to fight this next level of torture as they started forcing the tubing into her mouth._

 _Flash_

 _"Begin."_

 _Isabelle stood ready as she looked at the soldier standing opposite her. He came for her, she blocked his his attacks moving with him. She could feel the pain as their bodies collided. She managed the odd attack back at him but he was still a better fighter than her. She hit him with all the force she had in the face, a clatter of something on the floor made her look up. She saw she had removed part of his mask, she just stared at him as she saw his blue eyes for the first time. He glared back at her, she had never seen him express any form of emotion before. In her moment of distraction, she felt him take out her feet, she grabbed at his arm pulling her with him. Landing with a thud she felt the air knocked out of her lungs. The soldier landed on top of her, she just looked up at his as their eyes met for the first time properly._

 _His long hair fell down around his face like a curtain blocking them from the world. His mask hid his face except those cold blue eyes which were now locked with hers. Her heart pounded as she just stared back at him, her body unable to move from his weight on top of her. She felt her body tremble from the intensity that he stared at her. She held her breath not really sure what to do or expect now, it might have only been seconds in this position but it began to feel like hours._

 _"Soldier withdraw." The voice commanded over the speaker._

 _Neither of them moved as he continued to look at her, his gaze didn't seem so calculated, it didn't seem like he was planning anything. He was just watching her and only her. She could feel a flush rise in her cheeks, she finally tore her eyes away from his, turning her head looking away completely, confused what the hell was actually happening._

 _"Soldier withdraw." The voice repeated with more authority._

 _Suddenly his body moved quickly away as he stepped up moving as far from her as possible. The door opened and he vanished. She lay their for a moment her heart beating at a painful rate. She took a shuddering breath in, she had never been that close to him, for him to look at her with such intensity._

 _Flash_

 _She sat in the cell her eyes watching the shadow in the darkness, neither of them had moved. She felt the knots in her stomach from worry. They had been left alone together all night, she hadn't slept out of fear, was this another mind game, if she lost concentration or slept would he kill her. She wrapped her arms around her legs as she stared at him, trying stop herself from sleeping. The door opened as a guard placed a single tray down on the floor before shutting the door again. Neither of them moved, Isabelle heard her stomach groan loudly in protest._

 _The shadow moved pushing the tray across the floor towards her. She looked at the food on the plate before looking back at him. Perhaps this was another trick, they could have laced the food again with drugs. Finally a voice spoke words she didn't understand, she looked up at the soldier staring at his figure in the shadows, he repeated the same words but she didn't recognise them again._

 _"I don't understand." She said hearing the tremor of fear in her own voice._

 _"It's not poisoned, eat it." It said firmly and clearly._

 _She knew she needed to eat something to avoid being force fed again. She glanced back down at the food knowing if it was laced with poison she would die, part of her still welcomed death, a change to escape from this hell. Hesitantly she picked up the food slowly eating it, keeping her eyes on his shadow worried that this was all a trick of some sorts._

 _Flash_

 _She was standing at the competition alone, all her friends families were here to support them. She glanced around the crowd, feeling that sinking feeling. He had forgotten about her again. Clint never came to these competitions, not realising how important they were to her. She had tried everything she could to remind him about them but it made no difference. She felt the sadness wash over her as she remember how she was never going to have a family like her friends._

 _She heard her name being called as she pushed that thought aside, knowing that it was useless to rely on her brother for support and she would have to do this alone like always._

Isabelle woke with a thudding head ache, she looked to the door seeing an armed guard. She sat up rubbing her temple, thinking about what she had just seen. The more she learnt about her past the more she hated what had happened to her. She slowly pushed herself out of bed, testing her balance before standing up. The guard looked at her.

"I want to go home." She said looking up at the guard who merely nodded in reply, she followed him down to the car, neither of them speaking as they went. When she slide into the car she could barely keep her eyes open, she was exhausted, her body felt like a lead weight. There was a pounding in her head as she continued to have flashes from what she saw. Non of it she particularly welcomed.

Dragging her sorry arse out of the car she plodded up to the apartment opening the door with her key, seeing only darkness. Feeling relieved that she wouldn't have to explain what she had seen to Steve although a small part of her wished he was he, just so some one was at a home waiting for her. She walked straight to her room, collapsing onto her bed not bothering to change into pjs, her energy completely spent.


	18. Chapter 18

A knocking at the door pulled her from her sleep, she opened one eye seeing Steve standing at the door way looking worried. She groaned rolling over in bed seeing that there was a red sky amongst the darkness. It was morning already, slowly sitting up, rubbing her eyes she looked to Steve, not managing to put any words together yet. Her head pounded part of the aftermath of returning memories.

"The door was open." Steve awkwardly pointed to her bedroom door. "I just wanted to check in after yesterday? You were talking I thought you were awake."

"I obviously sleep talk." Isabelle groaned wondering what she said exactly as she rubbed her face trying to clear the fogginess which invaded her mind. "Yesterday was." She paused and glanced at him not really sure what to say or how to say it. She instead just shook her head as she thought about it, a tremble running up her spine. She barely wanted to think about it any more, there was too much that had happened and it felt impossible now that she was going to get any explanation that she would understand from them now.

"That good huh." Steve muttered looking down at the floor.

Isabelle just nodded, she could feel the tension there still, just as a reminder of what had happened, she hated how the conversation seemed so forced and unnatural compared what it use to be like. They were still trying to obviously work out their friendship after what happened, but she knew it wasn't that easy. She didn't want to feel like this around him but had no idea how to make it better.

"Do you want to come for a run." Steve asked breaking the silence.

"I could use the fresh air." Isabelle slowly sat up realising she hadn't even gotten undressed after last night before passing out in bed. "Give me 15 I should be awake and ready by then."

Steve nodded leaving her alone in the room shutting the door behind him. She let out a long sigh pushing herself out of bed, she pulled out her clean gym gear knowing that this was a small step closer to getting the cracks in their relationship fixed.

They hardly spoke as they ran around their usual route, non of the usual jokes or motivation, she was slowly finding it easier to keep up with Steve's pace. Normally he would push her and make her think about what she was doing and how she could do better. It had gone though, she wasn't sure how much longer she could live like this. Once home Isabelle headed to the fridge grabbing the orange juice, pouring herself and Steve a glass. She walked over to where Steve stood looking at one of his old photographs she paid no attention too, handing him his glass.

"Do you want to shower first or shall I?" She asked feeling the need to, now she felt more like a guess than some where she could treat as home.

"I want you to come and meet some one this afternoon." Steve glanced at her nervously, Isabelle just frowned looking at him a little confused by his request. "A good friend of mine, she knew me back in the 1940's"

"Okay." Isabelle nodded a little surprised by his suggestion.

"You better go first then as you tend to take longer to get ready." Steve smiled warmly at her, this gave her hope that things between them wasn't complete destroyed.

Once dressed and ready they headed down into the garage, Steve threw the spare helmet at her, she placed it on without the usual argument of he didn't have to wear one so why did she. Slowly she climbed onto the bike behind Steve, feeling the awkwardness within return. She hesitantly placed her arms around him before he turned the engine on and moved off. Their journey only took half an hour, Isabelle watched as the left the inner city, she had no idea where they were heading. Finally Steve pulled into a large cottage looking building, Isabelle saw the sign for a nursing residential home.

Steve seemed to know exactly where he was going, she followed silently, she had so many questions but had no confidence in asking them. They passed older generation of people, some seemed with it, some struggled in what they were doing. Isabelle had no idea what to expect of who they were going to see. Steve abruptly stopped in a door way, knocking like he had done this morning on her door.

"Three times in one week captain." Came an amused but frail voice from the room.

"You can't keep me away Peggy." Steve smiled warmly before glancing to Isabelle, the smile still there as he looked at her. "I brought some one who you said you wanted to meet."

Isabelle's mouth slackened slightly at the thought of someone actually wanting to meet her, her mind raced wondering what Steve had told his friend. Slowly she stepped into the room seeing a old woman laying in a bed. There was a stern look in her face which was hidden by the smile on her face at that moment. Steve stepped to one side allowing Isabelle to walk in further, she sat herself down in one of the chairs by the bed, Steve chose the chair opposite on the other side of the bed.

"So your the one that has been through hell and it looks like whoever had you wanted to replicate Steve through you, then took away your memories." Peggy stared at her stating the facts that Isabelle never expected her to know. "I am sorry something like that happened to you."

Isabelle was surprised how much this woman knew about her considering this was classified stuff. Isabelle looked to Steve who was leaning back in his chair looking at the pair of them. A smirk appeared on Steves face as he sighed.

"Peggy was one of the founders of SHIELD. She knows it all."

"Oh." Isabelle frowned not even thinking that the woman who lay in the bed was someone who was part of SHIELD once.

"Yes, well." Peggy began breaking the silence. "It still didn't mean they told me everything, Steve has discussed your case with me, what he knows about it any way. What you went through, it sounds horrific."

"Yeah." Isabelle looked away not really sure she was happy talking to a stranger about this.

"However that doesn't excuse how you have behaved." Peggy said sternly making Isabelle look up in shock at her, no one had really spoken to her like a disapproving mother would. "Your a adult now, you need to behave like one, yes you have been through hell and back from the sounds of it. Stop blaming yourself, others and certainly stop acting like a victim." Isabelle had no idea how the hell to respond to the sudden telling off she received. "We have all been through something where we could call ourselves the victim, yes your case is different. Do you want to be a victim for the rest of your life or do you want to be strong and start living with the cards you have been dealt with."

"I." Isabelle paused not really knowing what to say.

"You don't need to answer that, just think about it." Peggy said a little more kindly. "Its for you to decide yourself not for others."

Isabelle just sat and thought about what Peggy had told her. She knew that Peggy had no idea what she had been through but the woman was right. She had been self pitying for a while now. Poor her, poor Isabelle. She resented everyone and everything as she was to caught up in what had happened to her rather than what she could do about it to make things better. She glanced to Peggy and Steve who were now talking. She had no idea how she make things better though. This was her life at the moment, she was an experiment and burden people didn't ask for. What could she do to improve that.

"Steve would you be a darling and bring us in a tray of tea." Peggy asked smiling sweetly pulling Isabelle from her thoughts.

"Of course." Steve got up leaving her alone with Peggy.

"So how is it living with Steve?" Peggy started. Isabelle opened her mouth about to reply but then remember what Peggy just said, how could she explain about what had happened and how she felt about it. "You wouldn't be the first woman to throw herself at Steve." Peggy smiled at her.

Isabelle blushed as she looked up to the door seeing no sign of Steve, she looked back to the old woman laying in the bed a blanket over her legs, looking like a grandparent not the agent who had founded SHIELD.

"I feel like a fool." Isabelle nodded shrugging "I was really drunk not that is a excuse but I wasn't in my right frame of mind and now I have ruined everything."

"Give Steve time, he values your friendship, he doesn't really have any one who knows him like I did, he has got you now though." Peggy looked at Isabelle. "But my time on this world is slowly drawing to a close, I don't want him to be alone."

"He's my only friend." Isabelle answered looking to the woman. "The only one I have and understands a little what I have been through. So I guess we need each other in this messed up world."

"Steve has explained to me what happened to you, I am sorry. I was there when they took Steve's blood, I, we never thought it could be used to well produce you." Peggy sighed taking hold of Isabelle's hand. "You must be so confused right now."

"Yeah." Isabelle nodded looking away. "Its hard but." Isabelle paused shaking her head.

"You can talk to me." Peggy said "I am no longer a agent but I can try and understand. Perhaps sharing it with some one will help with this victim label you have put on yourself."

"When I do no one does understand, I mean the wiping of the memories is one thing, but what I was put though, some of it I can barely get my head around and it was done to me." Isabelle shook her head looking away.

"You can't bottle up your emotions." The elderly woman told her. "It's not healthy and if you think turning to alcohol is an option think of the potential consequences there." Isabelle knew she was right. She had already messed up a friendship from over drinking. "Talk to Steve, he is worried about you but doesn't know how to help. No one will unless you talk."

"Everything and everyone is strange, I am treated like an experiment no one really knows what to do with. My brother has disappeared on me, I feel like I am burden to Steve, one he didn't ask for. I don't know where I belong." She felt tears form as she opened up to this woman. "I have had dreams, memories, nightmares, I don't know what to make of them. I know there is a lot of things that I am missing, things which I think are important. Then there are the things I would rather not know, things which will haunt me for life. I don't have all the answers yet, I am scared of what is still unknown and from the pain which is there every time the memory is retrieved."

"Your stronger than you give yourself credit for." Peggy laughed shaking her head. "Your still here standing, when everyone else I know and some I have trained for this would have broke by now. Yet here you are, with this huge burden, trying to live like a young person should." Her face slowly became serious. "Don't let what happened define how you, don't let the unknown worry you, live, take control of your life."

Isabelle looked at the woman as the tears in her eyes fell down her cheeks. However what she had just told her made perfect sense along with making the best of what life had dealt her.

"Thank you." Isabelle sighed still thinking about what advice Peggy had now given her. Part of her felt hopeful that if she perhaps did what Peggy suggested then maybe, just maybe things would get better for her.

"What for dear?" Peggy frowned.

"Listening to me, not many people seem to." She glanced to Peggy smiling weakly. "I just seem to be commanded and expected to jump."

"Then make them listen." Peggy told her firmly "Woman weren't allowed to do a lot when I was younger, I made them listen and see what we were capable of."

"Make them listen to what?" Steve entered the room with a tray looking at the two woman before him.

"Woman's talk Steve." Peggy smiled at her winking.

Steve came further into the room frowning at the two women as he placed the tray of tea and biscuits down. Peggy then started with the stories about Steve making him blush profusely, Isabelle sat looking between the pair of them, she listen to each story, she could see the love and respect Peggy and Steve had for each other. It was just nice to see the pair of them together.

"Captain Rogers, visiting hours are well and truly over. Time to call it a day." A nurse walked into the room.

"Of course." Steve nodded. "I'll see you next week Peggy."

Isabelle just watched as he stood up and kissed the top of Peggy's head. She could see how much Steve still cared and loved her. Peggy looked at her smiling giving her a silent nod which Isabelle understood and returned. As they walked out of the home Isabelle kept glancing at Steve.

"You loved her didn't you?" Isabelle frowned

"In another life." Steve answered before letting out a sigh. "I promised her a date just before I took the plane I ended up frozen in."

"But you never dated?" Isabelle suddenly realised.

"I loved her, I didn't have the confidence to do anything about it." Steve replied not looking at her. "Do you fancy eating out for a change?" Isabelle couldn't help but hear the remorse in his voice.

"Sure." She nodded


	19. Chapter 19

Isabelle lay in bed thinking about the day, Peggy was right, she was letting all this to consume her, while she had a chance to live. She had been given a second chance through all this hell, this was her chance to live her life to take control of it. No more thinking that she was the Victim, no more making it negative, she would have to try and find a positive within all of this. She was still standing after all that had happened, she tossed the brown bottle of pills up in the air. Sleeping pills had so far stopped her dream memories, these however gave her memories naturally. Those dreams seemed not to be as painful, perhaps it was because she would only have one at a time rather than a group of them. She threw the pot in the air again, she needed to know what happened to her, what was missing and of that meant dreams, it meant dreams. She sat up opening the draw beside her throwing the bottle of pills into it before shutting it. This was her taking control of her life, she smiled as she thought about it.

Laying back down she smiled at how the day had gone, her and Steve had gone back to normal, like they were before that kiss. The meal out had been great, they laughed and talked through the stories which Peggy had told her. It was nice listening to Steve reminisce the stories with him, his friends such as Bucky and Peggy. She felt herself relax as her eyes grew heavy, today had been good.

 _She was being escorted by armed guards into a empty darkened room. She looked around as the metal door shut behind the guards. Her body ached all over, she walked over to mirrored glass, she guessed their were people behind it, however it was her first chance to look at herself. Nothing much had changed physically, however she black and blue, her cheek bones seemed more prominent, she was covered in small fast heeling wounds. Elle touched her bruised cheek feeling the ache still there. She then noticed the shadow moving behind her, fear took over as she spun around to see the man who beat her the day before. He slowly and menacingly moved out of the shadows, his silver arm glinting in the little light they had._

 _She turned looking at him, she knew what was going to happen next. She didn't know how many days she had been put in here, waiting for her training. They only gave her hours to recover from each session. It was just enough for her body to heal the intense wounds but not to do a full heal. She moved around the room keeping the soldier at a distance. He seemed to prowl around the room, watching her every move, he didn't put on the full mask this time. His blue eyes were on show, they were cold and calculating. There last session had been stopped because of his behaviour, she wondered what he was thinking then._

 _She waited for him to make a move, her heart was racing, this time however he seemed to just watch her from a distance. The wait was short, he soon lunged for her, she managed to block some of his moves. He didn't stop though, he kept coming at her. Her body burned and ached from each of her moves, she realised though that this time she was not getting beaten, she was at least learning to defend herself from him._

 _He finally caught her off guard, she felt him grab her throat, as he stepped forward, she stared into his eyes knowing what was to come, however she didn't feel him squeeze, she didn't feel him tighten his hold. There was some type of conflict going through his mind, she could see it in his eyes. She punched him knowing she needed to the opportunity when she could. She saw him stumble back, she pushed it, kicking him as hard as she could, she saw him fall to the floor. She felt a sudden surge of confidence until he swiped her legs from underneath her. She hit the floor groaning. He rolled onto her quickly restraining her with ease, she struggled unable to move._

 _"Distraction will kill you." He said from within the mask, her eyes widening from his words, the first time he had ever spoken to her. She just stared back into his eyes, not really sure what she should say._

 _As quickly as he said it he stepped back, getting off the floor and moved away out of the room._

Isabelle woke covered in sweat, she sat up looking into the darkness, it was the first dream where she felt conflicted. That was where she had heard that saying before, it was slowly making sense. She finalise had something to link back to her memories, she slowly climbed out of bed knowing that she would not be able to sleep any more tonight. Her mind was going 100MPH, she had no idea what she was used for but it was something to know that the soldier she fought against she was building a minimal or limited relationship with. She paced her room trying to process what her memory actually meant. She leant by the window, turning her back and closing her eyes remembering the feeling of the cold wall against her back staring at the soldier, the intensity of his blue eyes. He seemed to be the link to it, the part she remembered the most of.

She could remember him vividly this time, she could remember the silver arm, the dark mask he wore covering his face except the eyes. She could feel the hairs on the back of her neck prickle as she thought about him. She turned to look back out of the window, the first morning light had just started to peek through the darkness. He was important in her memories, she just knew it.

She dressed into running gear before silently creeping into the main living area, she went into the kitchen grabbing breakfast. She wondered how many people had been what she went through was she the only one. She glanced to the computer, after pouring her coffee she sat at the table. Opening the computer she tried to start her research. Nothing she searched brought up anything on a soldier with a silver arm, then again she wasn't dealing with idiots, they knew how to change her, kept her secret for years even off SHIELDs radar. So how the hell was she expected to find him or the answers she wanted. Leaning back in the chair she thought about how she could possibly get the answers she was looking for quicker. She heard a door creek open, glancing up she saw a surprised looking Steve staring back at her.

"Time for a change." Isabelle smiled at him shutting the computer down. "Step one get up before sunrise."

"Okay." He nodded looking a little confused.

"Second improve my fitness and learn to actually defend myself not just from some type of recall I can't remember, I want to know how I actually can defend myself and truly know." She said firmly before hesitating. "That is if you would be my teacher?"

"I am not teaching you to fight Isabelle, it's still early days. What we have done the sparing was to see what you could remember." Steve shook his head moving further into the room. "SHIELD would not allow you to be trained."

"I am not asking you to teach me to fight Steve, just teach me to defend myself, I want to feel safe and this will help. I just want to take control of my life Steve, please?" Isabelle told him truthfully.

She watched as Steve poured himself some orange juice, she waited patiently knowing he was considering it, she could tell. He has a frown on his face while he thought. She looked away picking up herself coffee and drinking it.

"Fine but we do it my way and you only use it to defend yourself." Steve finally answered her. "If I think anything else is happening or your compromised that's it no more."

"Thank you." She grinned "so we going for this run."

After the run they headed straight for the gym, Steve even agreed to start doing the defence training. They had been at the gym all morning, both of them working up a sweat as Steve taught her more about self defence. She actually got most of it, he was a really good teacher and it gave her a little more confidence. They were grabbing some water during a break. She leant against the wall resting her muscles for a moment.

"So what has cause this sudden need to train and get up early, I have been meaning to ask?" Steve glanced up at her.

"It was something your friend said, that I needed to take control of my life. This is me taking control." Isabelle muttered pushing herself off the wall.

"Peggy is good like that." Steve laughed.

A buzz made the pair of them look at Steve's phone, he picked it up walking away from her. She didn't mind the secrecy so much now. She had kind of gotten use to it. Steve walked back looking at her, his phone in his hand, he picked up his jacket.

"SHIELD has called us in." Steve sighed. "You apparently are due for more tests and I have work to do."

Isabelle felt the sudden weight on her shoulders, she kind of dreaded when she was called in. Having multiple memories return at a time was slowly having its toll. The brief moment of positivity she had seemed to slip away.

"You still debating if you can continue these tests?" Steve asked noticing the change in her.

"Yes, no, maybe." Isabelle shrugged slowly sitting down. "I didn't take my sleeping pills last night." She glanced at Steve seeing his surprise. "I know, I just wanted to try something and it worked."

"What?" Steve sounded completely confused.

"I dreamed a memory again, this time it was clear and I got a link, well what I think is a link, most of my memories go back to this man with a metal arm. He's important and I might know something in another memory some where." Isabelle explained trying to think how she could word it to make him understand. "I cant really explain it but I think I might be onto something, its just a feeling but its real. I want the answers now, all of them, I don't know if perhaps I am getting impatient but I just want to know what happened to me."

"Maybe we need to speak to Director Fury about this." Steve muttered as he rubbed his forehead. "He knows more about this than I do?"

"Okay." Isabelle nodded trusting Steves judgement.

They headed straight to head quarters, Steve managed to get a meeting straight away with the director. Isabelle was surprised that he managed to swing something like that but there they were walking into Fury's office. As they walked in, she saw Fury there with the other man she met before Pierce.

"I will take that to the security council." Pierce nodded picking up the papers from Furys Desk.

"Is now not a good time Sir." Steve asked looking at the two men.

"Come in Rogers." Fury briefly glanced at them. "I don't see what is so important it needed discussing urgently?"

Steve looked to Isabelle who suddenly felt nervous about saying something, she knew that she needed to however she only expected to be telling Fury this information not have a audience. Steve gently nudged her, she looked down before saying.

"I think we are getting close to some information, I don't have it yet but there is this feeling." Isabelle said finally looking up seeing both men staring at her intently.

"Close to what?" Pierce asked.

"I don't know, but I had a dream last night." Isabelle replied staring at the man. "I think this memory was a step closer than we have ever been. I think one of the people within the memories is a link."

"So what are you suggesting?" Fury leant back clasping his hands together.

"I need the rest of my memories and soon, I think I can answer this finally." Isabelle said firmly. "I don't know what my options are though?"

Isabelle didn't know why, but instantly the hairs on the back of her nick prickled from Pierces words, she could only think it was because of the realisation of what she had just agreed too. She could see Fury sitting in his chair watching her, he cocked his head slightly before pulling out his tablet, she didn't really know what was happening but waited patiently. Finally he answered.

"We could put you under, until we are not retrieving any further memories, it could be risky."

"Risky how Sir?" Steve cut in.

"It could kill her." Fury said bluntly.

Isabelle felt her heart drop, she looked down, she didn't really know what to think about this. Was it worth risking her life over, currently she was a prisoner in a way, she was a experiment. The only way to control that was to control her memories. She looked to Steve, she could see him shake his head, telling her that he was worried without words. Part of her knew this was crazy but she had no other choice if she wanted this.

"Fine." Isabelle nodded "I'll do it."

"Your a very brave girl Miss Barton." Peirce smiled before tucking his folder under his arms looking to Fury. "Keep me updated, I have a meeting I need to attend."

Fury just nodded, waiting for Peirce to be out the room before turning back to Isabelle. He leant forward looking at her seriously which made her shrink ever so slightly, Isabelle pushed passed it to remain strong.

"Are you sure you know what your agreeing too?" Fury asked.

"I cannot go through getting a handful of memories at the time."

"Isabelle." Steve looked at her taking hold of her arm. "You can't be seriously, its your life."

"Its my life that is affected regardless what I do." She looked at him shrugging. "I can do this, this could give me the answers." She could see that it didn't sit well with Steve however it wasn't his life. She looked back to Fury saying. "When do I start?"

Fury had set everything up to start that morning, Steve insisted on walking her down to the lab, neither of them spoke a word to begin with. It was okay though, Isabelle knew it was just because he cared about her as a friend. She didn't really expect anything less from Steve, he had been that rock she needed but it was time to stand on her own two feet. As they got closer to the lab, she could feel the slight anxiety rise within, she had no idea when or if she would wake from this and when she did god only knew what she would have learnt.

"You scared?" Steve frowned obviously picking up on her vibes.

"Terrified." She smiled weakly "But its the right thing to do Steve." glancing up at him as she said it.

"I know." He nodded still not looking that happy. "Would you mind if I called in to check on you, if you were okay with me doing that I mean?"

"I would actually really appreciate that." Isabelle smiled warmly at him, they arrived at the lab doors where the scientists were waiting for them. "So I guess this is good bye for now."

"I will be here when you come around." Steve said

She didn't know why but she wrapped her arms around him giving him a warm hug, as if to reassure both of them that it would be alright in the end. Gently she placed a kiss on his cheek before turning and walking into the Lab, knowing if she stopped now she would only regret it.


	20. Chapter 20

Cold, that's all she felt when she woke, her body was trembling, she felt numb and her head hurt, she groaned trying to roll over but her body wouldn't respond. All she could feel was her body was shaking uncontrollably from the shock it was going through, sighing she opened her eyes to see water. She way lying on a cold, wet, hard floor of some kind, her fingers slowly ran along the damp rough flooring. She had a moment to come to the realization that this was not a hospital ward of SHIELDS. Slowly she pushed herself in a sitting position wincing as she moved, she rubbed her head as she looked around the dim room not really sure what to make of everything. Where the hell was she, she was meant to be safe within SHIELD not like this.

Barely having time to come around as the door slammed open, she roughly she was grabbed under the arms, a bag placed over her head, she tried to struggle but found her legs and arms were cuffed. She looked around blindly for a moment trying to fight but it was no use. She slowed her breathing knowing she needed to compose herself at least for whatever was to come. She was thrown into a room brightly lit as the bag was yanked off her head and her legs released from the restraints. She rolled on the floor for a second before pushing herself to her feet. Spinning around she saw only one exit, she was otherwise surrounded by concrete.

She didn't need to ask what the hell was going on it was plain to see, she was captured, she didn't know how or when but this was not good. Two masked men entered the room, they at least seemed intelligent enough to cover their faces but it also raised her concerns. This seemed so like her memories, like the people who had her the first time. She stood still assessing the situation before her.

"They want her bloodied ok not dead." One man said loud enough for her to hear.

Isabelle took a breath in knowing what was to come, she was not going to let them mess her about. Not like last time anyway. She tested the restraints around her wrists, they were strong and she could not break them in this position. She watched the men who seemed to move around the room, both had batons which they made ready to beat her with.

They both went for her one getting a blow against her back as she deflected the others attack. She had to move quickly knowing that once one had finished the other would start. She was soon feeling the pain from the hits, punches and kicks she had received so far. Luckily for her the two men were getting tired but so was she, god knows how long it had been since she had any nutrition. She wasn't left with many options she was going to get this to work for her advantage at least. She was thankful that Steve had given her some defensive training.

One sloppy mistake by one of the men led to him getting a broken neck from her wrapping her arms around his neck and using the cuffs against him. Meanwhile the other was soon knocked unconscious by her cuffs as she slammed her cuffs against his head. Panting Isabelle collapsed to the floor the pain surging through her body, she could hear the thumps from her heart in her ears. Her eyes closed for a moment as she tried to recover her energy, this was not going to be the end of it she knew it. Panic set in as she could only imagine where she was or what they had planned, guessing it was the people who held her captive before.

 _She stood in the corner watching him as he entered the room. She watched the guard shut the door hearing the lock click. Her eyes turned back to him, he looked like a predator, she knew she was his prey. She watched him, his cold blue eyes fixed on her. Her heart rate elevated from the intensity that his blue eyes stared at her._

 _She could feel herself tremble as she just stood there frozen. He moved slowly at first stepping towards her, his paced quickened before he crashed against her his lips suddenly on her. He moved the pair of them back with ease against the wall. His strong body pressing her against the cool wall as his hands held onto her small waist keeping her locked against him._

 _The kiss was full of emotion, her heart pounded as his cold metal hand grabbed the back of her neck pushing her closer to him if that was even possible. Her hands grabbed hold of his shoulders holding onto him for dear life, pouring how she felt for him through the kiss._

Isabelle's eyes opened as the shock of what she just learnt about herself was just coming to light, she had had some type of relationship with the soldier. It made no sense at all, he had been a person who she had feared at some point and now she had these feelings that she once cared for him. Rolling onto her aching back she just processed this new information. It made no sense why she would turn to a man who had beaten the shit out of her. Pulling herself up to sitting position, she moved her arms seeing the cuffs around her wrists had been removed. Rubbing at her bruised wrists thought about what all this meant.

She couldn't believe it, to have those feelings for some one who had beaten her senseless before, she sat in the corner of her cell, her body bruised and battered from the fight. Her mind was racing, that memory couldn't be true. No she would not fall for someone like him, no one would after what he had done. She glanced around the room seeing the one man had gone they left the dead one though. His face pointing at her with lifeless eyes. Obviously a nice reminder of what just had happened. A pang of guilt passed through her, as she stared at the lifeless body, it was self defence she reminded herself several times, it was for her own protection. She pushed herself onto her feet to see if there was any lasting damage. It all seemed superficial for now.

Getting off the floor she started pacing the cell she tried to understand her actions in the memory, had she really cared for him, was it just out of fear or even force. She did not know how whatever that was had changed. She heard a click of a door turning she looked to see two heavily armed men enter. Followed by another man, a man she recognized from her time staying within SHIELD. Alexander Pierce the man she had met a couple of times in Fury's office, he had been trusted but what the hell was he doing here now.

"It's good to see you again Isabelle." He said confidently not even looking at the dead body on the floor.

"So this is SHIELDs work then, where's Fury and Steve?" Isabelle asked crossing her arms trying to project some strength however the tremble in her voice gave away her true emotions.

"It's not SHIELDs work not that you need to concern yourself with that." Pierce replied moving around the room keeping his distance from her. "But we didn't want them getting hold of our secrets. The secrets which are contained in that mind of yours could be catastrophic to us. It's surprising really that your mind was able to recover them. We presume its part of the serum we gave you, its impressive. "

"Secrets?" Isabelle frowned not really sure what he was trying to say. She knew though that this was really not good at all. "wouldn't it have been easier to kill me originally than keep me around then?"

"We have been trying to create a perfect world, a world of peace and organisation." Pierce muttered not answering her question. "You were too important for us to just destroy for now."

"Really. So what just happened to me is for the greater good of the world." Isabelle drawled rolling her eyes feeling anger boil under her skin. This man was delusional, that torturing a young child was better for the world. It made no sense at all.

"In the long run yes." Pierce told her his eyes watching her reaction. "When you fell into the hands of SHEILD it was convenient to keep you around. We could monitor your actions and clean up if needed."

"Why me." Isabelle shrugged not really sure what he was implying. "Why was I so important?"

"Leverage at the moment." Pierce sighed sounding a little dismissive about it. "You made our control over him absolute."

"I don't understand." Isabelle stared at him her heart hammering in her chest. She guessed they were talking about him the soldier, the man with the metal arm. Her mouth slackened to say something but she stopped herself. She knew that she needed to tread carefully at the moment, she couldn't give away the little information that she knew.

"I think you do." Pierce smirked at her reaction. "but it makes no difference to me. Our solider had become infatuated with you, protective, some would call it love but I am not sure if even he is capable of that." Isabelle swallowed hearing this information. "Whatever it is, it's a weakness. Instead of turning you into a weapon we used his weakness to strengthen the weapon we already had. Wiping your memory of him, your life, everything it was only the start of what we did to you. He upped his work and got the job done, just to save you."

"So you took my memories from me?" Isabelle shook her head trying to understand what Pierce was trying to tell her. "Just to control one of your men."

"You had no need of them. It was a warning to him that we would do worse you next if he didn't co-operate. Eventually we would have turned you into a solider too. A beautiful set of soldiers you would have made." Pierce explained calmly a pure evil smile coming to his face. "Unfortunately we never got around to start your training, to work on the blank canvas we had. Perhaps once he has completed the next job which is expected of him, maybe then we can see how good you would be."

"Why not just start now?" Isabelle continued to question him hoping the more information she had the more she could use to get herself out of this mess. She needed all the knowledge she could get, at least so she think about how she could get out of this mess. "Surely two soldiers are better than just the one?"

"He has begun to remember you again, even been asking questions about where you are." Pierce smiled as he moved the room with complete ease and arrogance. "We needed to make sure you didn't look too healthy for him. It will only make him work harder to keep you protected. Give him some motivation."

He turned walking away, giving a nod to one of the guards who aimed his rifle at Isabelle, panic spread through her. She had barely anytime to react as the gun was fired, she felt the pain as something hit her leg. Looking down she saw the dart sticking out from her leg, a relaxed feeling came upon her as her body crumpled to the floor.


	21. Chapter 21

_Isabelle lay upon the table her heart hammered in her chest expecting the pain to come, only thinking the worse and recalling the memories of every other time she had been locked in this position with them. She watched the doctors move around her, non of them making eye contact. She was just an experiment not a human being any more. She had given up crying, screaming and begging for them to stop. It was pointless, there was no hope now, they had taken that from her._

 _Time seemed to move slower, she felt weak and alone. She was broken, a shell of her former self. She felt some one click the lock mechanism restraining her to the table open. She had barely any time to look at the person as she was force ably dragged off the table. Her body was not hers, it felt numb and lifeless. She had no idea what they had planned for her now, fear didn't seem to come to her now, it was the expectation that there was worse to come. Her legs couldn't keep up with the pace of the person dragging her._

 _"Move." The person snapped pushing her forward making her fall to the floor._

 _A sob escaped her lips as she hit the cold floor, pain spreading across her body. She was tired, physically exhausted and tired of the constant torture and beatings they put her through._

 _"Get up!" the person growled. She could hardly pushed herself off the floor, her muscles protesting. "Get up!" The angry voice repeated itself._

 _"What's the problem?" Another voice added._

 _"The bitch won't move." The angry voice replied making it seem like it was all her fault._

 _"Then make her." The other said chuckling as he spoke. ._

 _There was a moments pause, Isabelle expected a firm grasp and to be hauled to where ever they were taking her. The sudden blow to the guts caught her completely unaware. It forced all the air out of her lungs. She groaned as the pain of the blow of a heavy boot coursed through her body, she could only manage to suck the air back in as she wheezed on the floor. Another kick came one after each other. She couldn't move away, she couldn't even defend herself. She tried to protect herself by curling in a ball as she began to cough up blood. The metallic taste making her feel sick to the core. The pain increasing till she could make no noise or barely breath._

 _It then stopped, she head a cry of pain and two thuds hitting the floor. She just managed to open her eyes to see two lifeless bodies on the floor. There was a person standing before her, she never saw his face as she felt her body lifted from the floor. The pain became too much for her to bare as she fell unconscious._

 _She woke to voices, her body aching from the recent attack. She opened her eyes to see a man in black his arms crossed staring at her. She recognised him immediately by the silver metal arm. It was the first time she had seen him without the full mask on. His face was cold, emotionless. His blue eyes were fixated on something, not moving from that one spot. Slowly she shifted, hearing other voices in the room, her muscles hurt from each tiny movement she made._

 _"Report soldier." She heard another man command._

 _Suddenly the silver armed man was struck by a weapon across the face by a guard standing beside him. This shocked her, she had never seen him treated like this before but it made perfect sense that he would not be treated any better. He turned to look at the other man speaking to him. That man was dressed in a suit looking more official than any one Isabelle I had seen before. He seemed to be some type of authoritative figure._

 _"They were brutally attacking her for no reason" The soldier replied his voice quieter than she expected. "She was unarmed."_

 _"No more than you have done in the past." The official man commented still staring at the soldier._

 _There was a pause as the soldier looked back to Isabelle his blue eyes staring at her. He was obviously thinking about something. She didn't quite understand the look he was giving her, however it made her nervous, she could feel goose pimples raise on her skin._

 _"It wasn't authorised, it wasn't part of her training." The soldier sighed shaking his head, he was not happy about something, "It wasn't right, she is innocent, defenceless."_

 _"Dr report?" The official man asked turning to a man in a white lab coat who stood beside him holding a clip board in his hand._

 _"He has been out of the cryo for a while sir, longer than any of the other times. Perhaps this is a side affect. We could wipe his memory, start again but there is no guarantee that this won't happen again." The doctor reported looking through his sheets of paper._

 _There was a pause Isabelle closed her eyes fading back out for a moment fighting herself to stay awake. She needed to know what they were going to do to her next, she needed to understand what was planned. She needed to understand what they wanted from her. She fought with all the remaining strength she had to stay away, her eyes were so heavy though, like the rest of her body._

 _"No lets just see what's happening this could work to our advantage." The official man muttered as Isabelle passed out again. "leave her with him."_

She woke with a groggy head, what ever drug they had given her had done its job. Rubbing her face Isabelle sat up seeing she had been moved to a smaller cell. Her mind turned to the dream, she recognised Pierce now as the official man. She had not met him before when she was younger like he had said, it was obviously a test to see if she remembered him or not. He had been a double agent infiltrating SHIELD all this time. She understood now what he had meant that the solider had protected her, but why did he do that after all their fights.

Rubbing her leg where the dart had hit her, she wondered what else had happened between them. She had no idea what to expect or trust any more, she knew this situation was bad but perhaps it would also hold answers for her. Taking a deep breath in a deep breath she rubbed her head. The sedation she used was still on board, her mind was clouded. She let a long breath out trying to focus her thoughts. These dreams were answering many questions but it didn't help when they sprung surprises on her.

Her thoughts drifted to Steve, Clint and even Natasha. Did they know she had been taken again. Probably not. She went willingly into the program to retrieve her memories, no one would suspect that she was now a captive again. If Pierce had been a double agent all this time, this organisation would be able to cover up the fact she was not within SHIELD. Which meant there was no rescue being planned, there wasn't much hope of her getting out of here soon. She felt her stomach drop in the realisation this was not going to be a short stay.

Sitting on the make do bed they had given her, she just waited knowing it wouldn't be too long till they came back for her. She had no idea what they had planned for her but it was never going to be good. They made her into what she was now, ultimately to become a willing soldier. She knew that at least, she knew that even if she was just being used to control someone it was never going to end well.

Hours seemed to pass, She had no idea how long she had been here or even what day it was. Her body had begun to protest, tired from healing and hunger. She had laid back, resting her head on her arms, trying to work out what she was going to be able to do here, her eyes felt heavy, she only meant to close them for a minute.

 _"Why are you doing this?" Isabelle stared at the dark shadow in the corner, he had yet to speak to her, it had been days of sitting alone in each others company._

 _There was silence, she was fed up of the silent treatment. She had been trapped for days with him, the man with the metal arm, the soldier. She had no idea what he was called or what he wanted from her. The fear she once felt for him was now replaced with anger and frustration. All she wanted was some answers, something that didn't make her feel completely clueless._

 _Realising she was never going to get her answers she got up, she felt caged, they had done nothing but sit for days. There were now only minor bruises from the assault on her that happened what she presumed was days ago. She started to pace the small room they were given alone but together. At first the fear of being alone with such a monster terrified her but she got over that, he showed no signs of being any danger to her. She was obviously not the only one unconcerned about what was going on within this room. The official man had not retuned, no one had in fact, the only communication they had was some one positing food through a slot in the door._

 _"I need something from you?" Isabelle demanded trying to use a authoritative tone wondering if he was only trained to answer to authority figures. "An explanation."_

 _She looked to the shadow to see he hadn't moved. He hadn't moved from that spot since they had left alone. Isabelle only slept when needed, so she guessed he ate and did whatever he needed then. She swore one night that she felt the cool touch of metal to her cheek stirring her from sleep, but by the time she had properly woken he was back sitting where he always had._

 _Sighing she placed a hand across her face. What was it going to take to get answers. She slumped against the wall on the floor her arms wrapping around her knees which were pulled against her chest. Her mind was completely confused, she wondered if this was another tactic of torture. She stared at him in the shadows. She owed him something after saving her from that beating. God knew how far those men were going to go when attacking her._

 _How the hell could someone be created, turned, made into something like that. None of it made sense, why were they wiping his memory. He was controlled by them, he was what they would eventually do to her. Isabelle knew that was the final outcome, it was unlikely she would be rescued now. A small tear fell down her cheek as she tried to hide the fact she was weak enough to cry over this._

 _"Please stop that." A small voice said._

 _Isabelle thought she imagined it, her head snapping around as she wiped her eyes. She saw the solider now standing in front of her, his face slightly illuminated by light. She felt herself shrink under his gaze._

 _"Why?" Isabelle sighed getting off the floor standing to face this man feeling bolder now he had spoken._

 _She never got that answer, he moved to quickly his lips crashing firmly against hers. Shock took hold of her entire body as she frozen from the sudden and unexpected attack. Her hands didn't know what to do. they were firmly stuck to her sides. She felt both his hands cup her face. This was not what she expected at all, not has his tongue run along her lip begging for access. Her hands suddenly knew what to do as she placed them onto his chest, she forcible pushed him back. Panting as she stared at him, he seemed to be battling with his own inner demons as he stared down at her. His eyes wide from shock, like he hadn't expected himself to do that either. His hands releasing her, part of her missed the body contact, just the slight comfort it offered, she missed the warm feeling she had. It was the first nice, caring body contact she had had for a long while._

 _"I'm Sorry." He apologised looking at her shaking her head. "For everything." He added_

 _She guessed he meant from the kiss to the whole training scenarios they were placed in, the pain and fear he had forced onto her. She had no idea why he was saying this now or what was exactly happening between them._ H _esitantly she reached up touching his cheek, feeling the warmth from him and the bristle of stubble. He leant into her touch, a small smile appeared on her face. He trusted her, that was something to hold onto._

 _"I'm scared." She muttered feeling that she could tell him the truth._

 _"You don't need to be while I am about." He replied pulling her into a hug, it surprised her how her body seemed to relax within his hold, like she actually believed it._


	22. Chapter 22

Isabelle woke to the click of the door, her head was pounding, having very little time to re-group her thoughts she found herself surrounded by heavily armed men. She didn't put up a fight letting them chain her up again, she gently tested the restraints knowing that they would more than likely be strong enough for her. Feeling the pull against her skin she knew it was pointless trying , she relaxed herself into the chains.

Following the armed men who completely surrounded by them as she was marched down the many corridors. Keeping her wit about her, she knew she should be panicking right now, she should be scared and she was but she wasn't going to lose control because of it. She needed to keep alert and work out exactly what was going on here, keeping a look out for any sign of escape or freedom. It was uniformed though, one corridor looked like another, the place also seemed like a maze. There was no way she would remember the right way even if she did take out the guards, there was no way she could work out how to get out of here.

She was brought into a empty concrete room, she was walked into the centre of it before being attached to a bolt in the floor. The armed men left, backing away from her, leaving her alone as the lights went out turning the room into pitch darkness. Taking a deep breath in she composed herself knowing this was more likely a mind game they were playing right now. Tugging on the metal restraints there was no point putting in too much effort, it would take a lot of energy to get free from them and then how would she escape the room she was currently locked in.

Her mind drifted back to the soldier, she frowned knowing that if he remembered her now and that was the only reason she was being kept alive at the moment, this meant she was worth something. She wondered exactly what the soldier remembered about her, she didn't know the full story between them yet but perhaps he did. It was a long shot but maybe he was the only way to get her freedom back and get out from this hell.

A blinding white spot light suddenly shone down on her, as she heard the door creek open, she shut her eyes for a moment to get use to the sudden blaze. When she opened them she couldn't see outside the light beam but she knew there was some one watching. She stood tall waiting for whatever they wanted to throw at her, she didn't want to show them fear this time, she knew that she was stronger now than she was back then. She was not going to let a simple scare tactic work on her. There was a blast of loud music making her flinch, she lowered her head in pain. This was one twisted mind game they wanted to play but she reminded herself that they had done worse to her before. As the music stop she looked up again unsure of what they wanted or what their plan was.

It happened so fast some one kicked her legs from beneath her making her wince as her knees hit the hard concrete. She was not going to give them the satisfaction of making a sound to show her weakness. A guard firmly grabbed hold of her arm pulling it harshly behind her. She was being thrust forward, her face exposed to the bright light, her breathing increase as she held on show. She guessed this was going to be some entertainment for them, they wanted to see what she looked like before they started what ever torture. Because of the chains attached to her wrist she was completely immobilised with one arm pulled behind her, it forced her free arm across her body unable to move. Isabelle's tried to control her increasing respiratory rate as she turned her head to look at her attacker. For once she got a face, which wasn't the part that surprised her the most, it was who it was which did.

"Rumlow." She muttered in disbelief, the man who she had fought against in SHIELD, the one who she had managed to injure before she was banished from SHIELD's base to go and live with Steve. This meant there was more than one double agent within SHIELD, her brother and people she cared about could be one of them or in danger, this was bigger than she could ever imagine. She looked to him, her heart pounding painfully in her chest. She felt the fear flood through her system as the horror of her thoughts set in. She struggled against Rumlows restraint, feeling his body press against hers and his breath on her neck made her feel sick. She turn her head away from him, not wanting him to see her inner fear.

"It's pay back time." He whispered against her ear. his voice even made her skin crawl.

Isabelle knew exactly what that meant, she was going to pay from a simple combat mistake back then. The pain came quickly as she heard the snap of bone. It took all her will power not to scream in agony as her arm was broken, she gritted her teeth together determined not to make a single noise. Tears formed in her eyes as the pain surged within her. She panted through the pain, trying to control it the best she could. Every touch of Rumlows hands sent shooting pain across her body. She could feel the tears fall from her eyes as she held back her screams.

"Again." She heard a voice say, she guessed it was Pierce. She couldn't make it out though, not through all the pain.

"I am going to enjoy this." Rumlow said with a sickening sound of excitement in his voice. "I wonder how long you can hold out."

Isabelle waited as Rumlow took her hand and snapped one of her fingers moving the already broken arm. This time she cried out looking to the floor as her arm was nothing but pain. She felt her stomach clench, she fought the sickening sensation taking over her. In the process she let out the sobs between breaths.

"Stop." A new voice shouted. It was one Isabelle instantly recognised as his, the soldiers. She looked up into the darkness, not seeing any one there. She felt herself freeze as the pain disappeared for a moment as she tried to find the owner of the voice. He was here, he was watching this.

Rumlow released her letting her fall to the floor causing her to scream as her injured arm hit the floor from the little time she had to recover. She heard Rumlow chuckle as he walked away back into the darkness leaving her unable to move. Her entire body trembled as the little adrenaline she had died away only agony replaced it. she lay on the floor thinking about how the hell it came down to this. Non of it made sense, surely SHIELD would know about a faction like this one operating within it. SHIELD surely had procedures in place to stop double agents within its organisation. She couldn't understand how something like this could have happened.

It took hours before the pain had subdued enough for her to move cradling her arm. She sat in the middle of the floor alone. No one had come for her, no one had checked on her or even spoken to her since Rumlow, she looked around the darkened edges wondering if she was actually alone or if people were still there watching her suffer in pain. Guessing she was being monitored at all times she needed to be careful on how she presented herself. She knew she needed to stay strong and not let the fear within consume her. She knew she needed to remain stronger than before, she was not going to be the young easy to manipulate child they had dealt with before. Her body was weakened though, the energy it took to heal a arm without any food or water since waking was too much. she moved as slow as she could laying on the hard floor keeping hold of her arm supporting it as best as she could. She closed her eyes knowing she needed to rest, conserve as much energy as she could, god only knew what they had planned next for her. They were going to kill her this time, there was no way they would risk handing her back to SHIELD even if they wiped her memory again, they couldn't risk her remembering and tell any one. She tried her best to relax on the cold floor. Closing her eyes knowing there was little else she could do she fell asleep knowing worse was to come.

 _"Let me go." Isabelle screamed as she was forced into a metal chair, it took three men to hold her down as they fastened the straps over her limbs and torso._

 _She looked over to see him struggle against the restraints they had him in, Fear took over knowing it was bad, if they had him restrained it was not going to be good, even using the full strength of his metal arm wasn't enough. The official man was there pacing the room looking really displeased. Isabelle's heart raced, they had left her alone now for months., no more experiments, no learning to fight, nothing, she had just been locked away and when her soldier rested he came to her cell to be with her. She didn't know why they were doing this now. As the metal restraints clicked shut locking her to the chair she felt the panic within her rise._

 _"I warned you this would happen." The official man muttered looking at the soldier, he words were full of anger. "If you didn't complete missions successfully."_

 _Isabelle noticed how he was avoiding eye contact, he couldn't look up. She knew he was scared, he never acted this way unless he was scared. She felt tears fall down her face, he had failed. She knew this would have consequences, she had no idea what but she could only guess what they had planned for them._

 _"Please." He begged still not looking up. "Don't hurt her for my mistake, I will do anything for you not to hurt her."_

 _Isabelle felt her heart swell more than she thought it possibly could. He cared that much for her that he would be willing to do anything, she never expected any one to feel that way towards her, especially in such a place._

 _"I have been too lenient." The official man continued shaking his head speaking as he continued to think "and she is going to pay the price for your mistake."_

 _"No." He began to struggle again this time looking up at the official man. "Please don't"_

 _Isabelle heard the buzzing which was being given off by the chair, frozen she watched as the official man nodded. A doctor came over forcing a guard into her mouth, her heart rate spiked, the chair moved back as Isabelle sobbed. Metal completely encased her head but through it she could hear his screams of anguish and anger. It changed nothing as the pain suddenly coursed through her body. She had no control as her body tensed each muscle going into spasms. Then there was nothing, no thoughts, complete blankness as she went limp not knowing where she was, what was happening or who she was._


	23. Chapter 23

When Isabelle stirred she was in what resembled a bed, slowly she sat up still nursing her now healed arm. Touching it for a moment, she could only sense a slight tenderness to it before testing it, it had healed enough for her to flex and move. The only plus to the tests and experiments that they had done on her. Looking about the room it was plain concrete, there was a small basin area and a toilet there in the open, obviously they were not concerned about privacy, nothing here which would give her a chance of escape. She got up seeing she was now dressed in plain black tight trousers and top. Not wanting to think about who had the job of changing her she moved about the room touching the door for a moment. There was no handle or hinges for her to play with, so no point trying to attempt to shift it. Turning she looked back into the room trying to make sense of what had happened.

She wasn't sure what to make of this complete change in game plan. She sat back down on the bed and thought about what she now remembered. She felt sorry for this soldier, once a object of fear for her but now he was a complication. There was obvious strong emotions and ties which she was not sure about between them, she felt confused knowing there were feelings there in the past out of her control, guessing from his reaction earlier he remembered more than she did. Not understanding what had truly happened made it harder for her to know what the plan for her was. But she was now being used to manipulate him, that was easy to see. She didn't quite understand why though, they must have had control of him before she came along so why throw her into the mix. Either it was down to his affection for her, or something within the soldier had changed.

Then there were obvious feelings that she may have for him, once, she didn't really know what she felt now, he felt like a stranger but there was something deep down about him. He had saved her from further torture at least, she knew Rumlow enjoyed hurting her, some sick pay back for damaging his shoulder by accident, so it would have only gotten worse. She then remembered the stranger pulling her out of the smoke filled cell, protecting her from the fire. It had been him, she had never thought about it before, but now she was sure it was him. He had saved her every time he could, every chance he had he had when he wasn't under their control he tried. Isabelle placed her head in her hands realising that this was a lot more than she realised. It had been love all those years ago and it seemed to be love now at least for him.

She stopped pondering over it as the door opened, she knew what was to come now. It was too obvious of a game plan. She watched as the soldier moved into the room keeping his distance from her. Her heart stopped as her eyes followed him as he moved into the room, her heart seemed to pound in her chest, like it remembered how she once felt for him. Glancing to the door seeing the guards smirking as it shut and a familiar sound of a locked activating, her eyes turned to him. He looked almost exactly as she remembered in her memories but now he stood there as real as day. Hundred and one thoughts raced through her mind, he was real, he had tortured her, he had cared for her, he remembered her. However he was still a stranger to her and she guessed if his memories had been wiped like hers he might feel the same about her.

Glancing around the room there were no obvious cameras but that didn't mean they weren't well hidden. Even if there weren't cameras there had to be something in here recording their activity. She guessed that there was no privacy setting here, someone had to be observing them, seeing what they could use against them.  
Diverting her eyes back at the soldier she saw he was leaning against the wall staring at her his arms crossed across his broad chest. She took a slow breath in, he seemed bigger, more muscular than she remembered. His long dark hair framing his face, a small smile on his chiselled face, Isabelle couldn't help but know what the fluttering in her stomach was about, it was easy to work out, she was attracted to him, a stranger of sorts. She couldn't move the way he looked at her was intense raw full of emotion. Isabelle suddenly felt awkward, it was a peculiar feeling to understand and remember the same emotions but not really understand what she as actually feeling right now.

"Isabelle." He muttered the corners of his lips curling upwards, he was pleased to see her. The smoothness of his voice, it made her shiver slightly, like her body was reacting to memory. She looked away, feeling awkward about the whole thing, she could tell she was blushing.

"I guess it's been a while?" Isabelle replied not sure what else to say as she looked to her hands twisting in one another. "Thanks for stopping them breaking any more bones."

"I'm sorry, Are you okay now?" He asked sounding genuinely concerned. Isabelle nodded her head in reply. He looked away for the first time, she glanced back up at him seeing that he was thinking about something. "I thought you were dead."

Isabelle's mouth dropped open, he had been told she was dead. She felt her heart stop for a moment as she looked at him guiltily, she never thought what he had been through or thought about this. He had been lead to believe that she was dead for god knows how long, she could only guess how that might feel. To have someone taken away from him, to believe someone that you loved was ripped away from the world. Her head pounded as the information she kept receiving. She felt well and truly out of her depth now, like she had been forced into a story that she didn't know.

"I am sorry." She said not knowing what else to say as she ran her hand through her hair realising what a mess she must be. "Look I am only just getting some memories back since they wiped them. I've only just remembered you, like this. I mean as in us. I remember what you were made to do to me before but not really much after."  
He nodded seeming to understand her predicament. She smiled it was the first time she knew someone actually understood what she meant. It was nice to have someone who would understand it all the whole mind wiping. It made her feel slightly more comfortable around him, they shared something.

"What do you remember?" He frowned his blue eyes not leaving her, rarely would he blink, it was like he was scared she would just vanish.

"Only little bits." Isabelle shrugged relaxing further in his company. "How about you?"

"All of it now your here." His eyes never seemed to leave her just in case she disappeared. She found it unnerving yet romantic at the same time. "When I saw you it was like I had all the answers for what I was searching for."

"Tell me about it, about us, help me remember." Isabelle suggested leaning forward watching him move. "Help me understand all of this."

She could see the shock on his face at her request but he nodded. Isabelle listened to all he had to say. Some of it sounding very familiar like it did happen but it didn't at the same time. It was strange listening to someone talk about their joined past, a past that part of her wished she remembered while the other didn't. She actually felt overwhelmed by how much he actually knew about her, things she had only just learnt about herself. The way he spoke it was clear that he had once more than cared for her. Her heart hammered in her chest as he spoke about them. Even when he mentioned their romantic moments it didn't embarrass her, he spoke with such emotion she knew he cared deeply about her and she once had trusted him, once had cared for him too.

Soon she was yawning, her body clock telling her it was time to sleep. Glancing at the one bed she wasn't sure what the situation was going to be now. She noticed how he was staring at the bed also, she knew then she didn't need to say anything to him. There was this strange feeling of trust she had for him, along with other emotions she didn't quite understand yet. She slowly got up not looking at him as she climbed into bed knowing that she was leaving it to him to decided what he wanted to do. Moments later she felt the bed shift as he obviously had decided to join her. She didn't turn to look, she just sighed actually feeling safe with him beside her. Knowing he would protect the pair of them it allowed her to go asleep a little easier. It was strange how the trust for him came so easily, but she trusted the feeling she had, it was the only thing she could rely on here. Yawning again she tucked her arms under her head as she closed her eyes allowing the exhaustion to consume her.

 _The knife pierced her skin, without any local or pain relief she felt every slice. Screaming she writhed on the table struggling against the metal restraints. Sweat poured from her skin, the pain was unbearable. She cried unable to breath from the torture they were putting through. She had a moments rest as they watched her body trying to heal and recover from the damage they created. Trying to control her breathing she then smelt something which made her strain to look up from the table. Her heart sunk as she saw the red hot poker being brought over. She let out a blood curdling scream as the burning hot metal hit her skin. She felt the metal melt her skin as the agonising pain washed over her._

Struggling Isabelle woke to darkness for the first time ages, fear consumed her as she fought against the restraint holding her down. She struggled harder but the hold around her tightened.

"Shh." She felt a warm breath against her neck making her freeze, she waited not sure what to expect next, her breath caught in her throat.

Remembering she wasn't alone she stilled feeling the cold metal arm of his against the skin on her stomach while the other wrapped around her arms locking them in place. She felt his entire body pressed against hers. She nodded relaxing allowing her breathing to return to normal. She felt him loosen his hold of her removing his arms from around her. Slowly she turned to face him, she felt herself become a little self-conscious after what he must have witnessed till he said.

"It's worse when you remember in your sleep. You lose control of yourself within the memory."

It made sense; she stared at him only seeing a glint of his metal arm from time to time. She managed to feel relaxed even with him so close. Without his eyes looking at her, she could tell he was watching her in the darkness. She could feel the warmth of his body even though they were no longer touching, part of her yearned for the contact, the safe feeling he provided from just being there.

"It's the only way I remember. I have been doing this alone for so long now. No one understood what it's like forgetting who you were remembering bits mostly only pain." Isabelle sighed as she thought about it for a moment, opening up a little to him. "You're scared and lonely constantly."

She felt him gently touch her face with his warm hand. It was a simple gesture but she understood what he meant, she leant into the touch remembering how he had all those years ago with her, a sign of trust. She felt his cold hand snake around her waist pulling her closer to him. Her hands connected with the skin on his chest. He had taken his jacket off to sleep, she felt the skin of his chest but she didn't move it. Instead she bit her lip not really knowing what to do. She couldn't remember being in a situation like this, with a man, knowing she must have once with him didn't make it any easier. He seemed to sense her apprehension as he just pulled her against his body, not doing any more. Isabelle could hear his heart thump in his chest as she rested her head upon it. It was nice, relaxing to listen to the steady beat. Closing her eyes as she enjoyed the body contact relaxing against his body.

Isabelle woke in the morning to the bright artificial lights being turned on. She tried to bury her face into her pillow. She felt the skin contact which made her open her eyes, looking up she saw the soldier was still asleep. Pausing she took her chance to look at him properly. Her eyes drifted to the scar tissue attaching his metal arm to the rest of his body. She had to stop herself from touching it, looking back to his face she noticed how relaxed he was.

A clang of metal stirred the pair of them as their meal was dropped through an opened hole in the door. He moved looking up at her as she remembered that she was still resting on him. Quickly Isabelle changed her position, getting out of bed stretching her now aching body. She walked over to the tray seeing bread, meat and cheese with some water. Picking up the glass she sipped the water leaving plenty for him to have. Her stomach growled painfully from looking at the food. He picked up the plate handing it to her.

"Eat it." He said firmly

"What about you?" She frowned not wanting him to go without because of her.

"Did they feed you?" He looked at her with a raised eyebrow, the look on her face must have said it all. "Exactly, Eat it, you need it more than me."

They didn't given them long till he was moved out of the room, Isabelle watched as he was marched out without question. His face becoming hard to read and cold, the soldier she feared was back. She slumped back into bed as she picked through the left over breakfast she had shared with him, not knowing what was going to happen to her now.

Isabelle watched the door for hours, thinking about all that had been said the day before trying to process how she felt now. She knew this was something big, bigger than her and him. Why else bring her back into all of this. She heard a click which made her sit up, the door opened and Rumlow and Rollins stood there smirking, holding cuffs in their hands. Isabelle just stared at them silently as they threw the cuffs to the floor.

"Put them on." Rollins ordered.

Isabelle looked at the cuffs on the floor before looking back to the men before her. She wanted so much to pick the metal cuffs up and smack them across the head. She knew however there would be more guards and she would have no escape planned.

Slowly she reached down picking up the weighted cuffs placing them on. She stood up looking to the men not saying a word. Rumlow turned leading the way, she followed keeping alert trying to memorise the way they were going.

"She still has a fine body." Rollins sneered, "I was there when they changed her."

Isabelle bit her lip not wanting to getting riled up and say something she would later regret. She just looked to the floor keeping to her original plan.

"I don't see what the asset sees in her, a common whore." Rumlow glanced back at her with disgust. "She willing slept with him back then, probably would again after shacking up with the captain. Thinking she is special but all she is is a whore getting by."

She now wanted to hurt someone, she glared at Rumlow, not rising to the bait, knowing better than to do that. They arrived at a lab there were men and women waiting for them. She was forced to sit in a restraint chair. She knew she needed to remain focused and not panic but she could feel that sickening feeling rise within her.

She watched as they scanned her, taking samples, she glanced to Rumlow and Rollins both armed and both watching her. There was no visible escape route, not unless it meant being placed into a black bag of sorts. She knew that biding her time was her only option, she needed more information, she needed to know what they wanted.  
She remained silent as the scientists worked around her, non of them made eye contact, they didn't seem that bothered that she was being held prisoner. There were a few she recognised from SHIELDs hospital, it confirmed her suspicions that it was a organisation which was working either with or within SHIELD.

Time seemed to past quickly, once they had taken everything they needed she was released and marched back to the cell. She turned at the door way looking back at Rumlow and Rollins who stared at her smirks appearing on their lips.

"Till tomorrow." Rumlow slammed the door.

Isabelle let out a sigh moving around the room before collapsing back on the bed. She had no idea what they were planning, however she guessed that it wasn't going to be good. She lay back her body feeling drained after the past few days. Her eyes becoming heavy as she slowly fell asleep.

 _"Stop." She laughed looking at him, pulling the sheets around her._

 _He continued planting kissed along her bare skin, she tried shimmying away from him, but his strong arms wrapped around her pulling her back under his body. His hands skimmed along her skin, she felt his lips move down her body as she squirmed against him. He looked up at her resting his head on her abdomen._

 _"I love you Isabelle." He muttered his blue eyes staring at her._

 _"You love me." She gasped feeling surprised at the sudden proclamation her heart leaping in her chest._

 _He pulled her flush against him, rolling them over so she straddled his lap. She placed her hands on his stubbly cheeks, staring into his warm eyes. She felt warm and safe in his hold, nothing else mattered apart from him and her._

 _"I love you too." She smiled at him before placing a kiss on his inviting lips._

Isabelle woke looking around the dim room, she sat up rubbing her neck as the feelings in her dream flowed within her. She had once loved him, the soldier, he made her heart pound in her chest. She let out a sigh remembering how it felt to be in his arms. She bit the corner of her lip remember how good it felt to be with him, sighing she knew how complicated this was now making things.


	24. Chapter 24

Feeling stir crazy, she paced the small cell like a caged animal. She had been trapped for god knows how long, there was no way to tell how long it had been, she had been out of her cell a few time for more trips to the scientists but that was it. Nothing was said or explained, it still gave her no options of escape. There was no way of telling the time, no windows nothing. She had lost track of how long she had been cooped up, the soldier had not been back since that night, she could only think that he was away doing their bidding or perhaps she had changed, they had changed and she wasn't a bargaining tool like they originally thought. She knew she wouldn't be escaping any time soon, not on her own without help at least, she had no idea what they were going to do with her now. Was she going to be a puppet in their sick twisted games with this soldier or was there something else they were planning.

Time seemed to pass to slower than ever, she had tried to work out, doing sit ups and press ups just to relieve boredom and tension. It was no use though, it only seemed too frustrated and angry her further. How dare they use her to get to someone else, play with both of their emotions like this. How dare they torture her and continue the poking and prodding like she was nothing but an experiment. How dare they do this to her again, surely once was enough. Her anger boiled over as she lashed out, punching the concrete wall. Feeling the concrete crumble against her hand was not as satisfying as she hoped, as the pain shot up her arm. She stared at the broken concrete with blood on it. Looking down she saw the wound on her hand, sighing she knew they had managed to get to her. This is what they may want, her to become completed unhinged like their soldier. Ripping the bottom of her top she wrapped the material around the sore and swollen hand covering the nasty looking cuts.

Collapsing back on the bed she huffed closing her eyes trying to calm the turmoil boiling within her. This was not going to help her escape, this was not going to help her think straight. She couldn't rely on a rescue, she had handed herself into SHIELD or whoever they were for these tests. Steve wouldn't question what had happened thinking it was what she wanted, Clint didn't even seem to care about her his own sister. There was no one who would question where she was. So it was completely down to her to get herself out of this mess, to find a way out of this hell. Then she could perhaps warn them all about this sick group within SHIELD.

She knew the only way of really escaping was through the soldier, he knew a lot, definitely a lot more than her anyway. Guessing he had a little more free reign than her, he would at least know how to get around this base. Perhaps even knowing the quickest way out. However his mind had been twisted and played with by these people, she had no idea which side he was actually playing for. If she was to ask him to escape would he in fact help her or not, she had no idea how he would react or what he would actually do for her.

The thing that roused her from her thoughts was the door opening. Turning her head on the bed she saw the soldier return, she sat up a little watching him as he entered the room. He was still cold, distance and looking quite threatening. She lay still not sure what she really should do now as she observed him for a couple of seconds, this wasn't the way he behaved around her before. The door slammed shut behind him, he seemed to not to look at her, not really even acknowledge that she was even there. Instead he went over to corner, staring blankly, Isabelle stayed where she was, still not sure if this was a test. After a few minutes she slowly started sitting up, moving very slowly, watching for some type of reaction from him, feeling on edge about the current situation. His behaviour was completely off, he was cold, distant, stiff, like he was anticipating some type of attack, she had seen him like this before in her memories, the memories where he had beaten the hell out of her. Waiting she knew that she didn't want to startle or make him think that she was a threat. His head seemed to hang low, his hair covering his facial features. Isabelle could tell he was still in attack mode, his body language gave it away. His stance was ready to take on anything, his broad shoulders were tensed, his arms frozen at his side.

Isabelle didn't like how long he was standing in the corner staring blankly at something, she didn't know what to do. He seemed stuck as he was. Not sure if it was just curiosity or stupidity but she couldn't carry on waiting for him to do something. She stood up slowly not wanting to look a threat to him. Heading towards him, she could feel her heart hammer harder in her chest as she got closer to him. As she stood in front of him it was like he didn't register she was even there. Frowning she didn't really know what she should do, there was something obviously wrong with him. Tentatively she put her hand out to touch his chest not sure what she would gain by touching him. She just needed to get him out of this almost hypnotic state.

It happened all at once, he moved at super speed. His metal arm struck out, luckily Isabelle had time to duck the first blow but the second strike came knocking her flying to the floor. Hitting the floor with a thud she looked up just in time to see him dive at her. Rolling out of the way Isabelle hopped onto her feet waiting for the next attack. He stood back onto his feet, his face full of rage. Mentally cursing herself Isabelle prepared herself for the worse. He moved aggressively towards her, his grey blue eyes staring at her full of anger, Isabelle managed to block a couple of his attacks as they moved back, she managed to defend herself from some of his attacks. This room was too small for any form of combat, Isabelle's back collided with the hard cold concrete. The soldiers metal hand struck out hitting Isabelle's throat, forcing her up off the floor, she gasped trying to keep breathing but the slight pressure on her airway was uncomfortable to say the least. She grabbed at his solid arm pushing at hard as she could to get it off her and support her weight. luckily his hold wasn't tight enough to choke her but it wouldn't take much for him to squeeze and kill her. Using her legs Isabelle tried kicking out hitting him a couple of times till he pressed his body between them. She wrapped her legs around trying to use his body to push herself up and out of his grip. She released her hold of his arm and smacked him as hard as she could across his face. His hold on her throat loosened as he looked at her, his cold eyes softening. His arm dropped from her throat, she slipped lower down his body tightening her legs around him to stop herself from falling on her arse. She stared directly into his eyes seeing a look of pain, horror and misery.

"Are you hurt?" He asked quietly his voice sounding shaken. "Isabelle are you hurt?" He repeated looking really worried at her.

Isabelle only managed to shake her head, staring at him. Confused by the sudden change of personalities, he was not well at all, what ever they had done to him was not good at all. She went to drop her legs from his waist but his hands grabbed her thighs firmly keeping them from moving, she frowned at him not sure what he wanted. Her hands moved up to his strong shoulders holding on to them, his hands gently brushed up her sides making shiver as his cold hand brushed the exposed skin of her stomach.

Biting her lip she did not know what the hell was going on between them. Her emotions were scrambled, there was this instant attraction which felt somewhat familiar but at the same time like it was new. It was like a strange memory seeping back into her mind, they had been here before in this position, yet she felt like he was still a stranger. Her heart stopped as the overwhelming feelings hit her hard like his previous punches. Closing her eyes she remember how she trusted, cared perhaps even loved him once. He was hers, she was his and together they were safe, smiling as the memory went through her head. She opened her eyes seeing he was going through the strange conflicting emotions she was. His grip on her waist tightened as she stared into his warming grey blue eyes. Taking a deep breath in Isabelle was about to ask to be released from his hold as his lips crashed against hers. She had no time to think as his body crushed hers against the wall. It felt so natural to be in his arms, for his lips to be against hers.

Slowly her arms wrapped around his neck, her hands running into his long thick brown hair. His hands dragged their way up her body pulling the material of her top with them. She squirmed against his body as the cool material of his top pressed against her uncovered stomach. She gasped as his silver hand made contacted with her still clothed breast allowing him full advantage to her mouth. He kissed her full of raw passion and need, Isabelle couldn't help but want more. To feel these warm, safe and caring emotions they obviously had together

Isabelle suddenly came to her senses, not here, not in front of them. She ran her hands down to his broad chest pushing him back. She felt the resistance he put up, she shoved again using a bit more force.

"No." She said panting for breath pressing her forehead against his.

"No?" He muttered questioningly equally out of puff. His hand moving to cup her cheek, he placed his lips hesitantly against hers trying to renew the earlier passion. She could feel her barriers break down, something inside of her wanting him as much as he wanted her.

Part of her screamed to just let him continue, not caring who would see or what they would do to them. A fluttering feeling in her stomach seemed to grow as she squirmed in his hold. However God knows how they would use this information against them, this was not the time for romance, this was only a place of mind games and torture. This was perhaps this was what they actually wanted, to let them have a moment of happiness before ripping away like a band aid.

"No." She repeated pulling back looking at him meeting his blue eyes. "Not here, not like this, they." She paused looking around the room. "They could be watching, this could just be another mind game."

She could feel the frustration he had as his hands dropped to her thighs squeezing them gently, as well as the slightly disgruntled look in his face. It showed her how open he was, compared to some of her memories when he was cold and distant, like earlier, she appreciated the change in demeanour. She knew it must be hard for him, having someone so close that he had once had a intimate relationship with but she now kept him at arm's length. Slowly Isabelle unwrapped her legs from him, this time he let her drop them instead keeping hold of her waist pressing their bodies together. Dropping in height she looked up at him, her hands resting against his chest. She could feel his heart pounding strongly within his chest, she smiled knowing at least he had the same response around her as she did for him. She didn't really want to move feeling a sense of security within his arms. She sighed her hands lowering to rest against his abdomen.

"We were in love weren't we?" Isabelle whispered feeling a blush burn on her cheeks so only he could hear she hoped any way.

"I still am." He said quietly sounding a little defeated for a moment."You really don't belong here."

"Well it looks like I am stuck here." She sighed shrugging knowing it that was true still trying to get use to the idea that he loved her.

"I am sorry about before I was, I was still under their control." He muttered thinking about it for a minute.

"How, what did they do to you?" Isabelle frowned hoping that he would open up to her. "Why the sudden change?"

"You don't need to know about that." He placed a hand on her cheek before turning away from her, creating a distance between them.

Isabelle looked up at him not sure why he wouldn't at least explain that to her, she didn't want to push it right now though. She stared at him frowning, thinking how she could respond to such a statement. She wondered what could have happened to him, what mind control they actually had over him. She let out a sigh not really wanting to push it too much after what had just happened between them, not feeling it was the right time yet. However one thing she realised, Steve had been going easy on her after all. When the soldier attacked her, he meant it, she had little time to react or get any blows in herself. Looking to him, she wondered for a moment before speaking.

"Teach me to be a better fighter." She whispered knowing it was a lot to ask basically a stranger, however she hoped from their previous relationship it wasn't too much. "I know a little but you could do better training me, just so I feel I can protect myself better."

He turned suddenly looking terrified at that thought, his eyes wide with horror at her request. She just stared at him worried he would withdraw from her completely, she gently placed a hand on his cheek trying to get him to at least understand, slowly she moved her hand down his cheek, pass his neck and to his metal shoulder. She stared at him hoping he would not back away now.

"That is what they want." He glared at her shaking his head, moving back closer to her placing his hands on her hips. "They want you to eventually become like me."

"At least train me to defend myself from them, if I can defend myself from you that would be a start. We don't have a chance if you only protect me, give me a chance." Isabelle tried to persuade him, hoping he would see sense in that at least. "If we are going to look after each other."

She could hear his breathing as he thought about her proposition. Feeling his hands move up her body. She looked up at him, his eyes were distant as his warm hand skimmed against her cheek, finally both his hands took hold of her face kissing her again. It was full of promise, hope and the definite feeling of love which she leant against and welcomed. Isabelle knew then she had an ally at long last, someone who understood her position at least, someone who knew what it was to be lost and alone until now and someone who knew what it was like to be a captive amongst monsters. She smiled into the kiss before pulling back, he nodded stepping back and waiting.

Cocking her head to one side she questioned what he was doing, before understanding he wanted to spar. She took a breath readying herself for what ever was going to happen. Trying to remember what Steve had previously taught her with self defence. Steve had tried bless him but the thought of fighting a friend and a woman was probably a little too much for him, which meant he went easy on her without her knowing. She went in for the attack, however he was quick and strong, he managed to counter the move before going in for his own attach. Isabelle remembered what it was like facing him, now was no different except he wasn't intentionally wanting to hurt her, instead he was on her side this time. They moved quickly around the small space they had, which meant it was closer combat and no route of escape. Isabelle could feel the familiar burn of her muscles as she kept up with his pace. She ducked under him using her small frame against his much larger one, the only advantage she seemed to have. It was just enough to get around him, she was no match with his metal arm with strength. He finally grabbed hold of her picking her up and pulling her against him so she could not fight against his restraint.

"I win." He smirked placing a swift kiss against her lips, like it was a prize obviously pleased with himself. It was strange to see how playful he was now compare to what she had been used to in her memories. She liked it, it definitely made him seem real and a person not just a soldier, even though that part was only just under the surface, it had become to bother her less.

"That is not teaching." She slapped his chest pushing him away while scolding him.

"Sorry." He rolled his eyes placing her down on the floor again. He eyes turned away from her looking around the room. Going over to the bed he reached under tearing one of the wooden slats out and throwing it at her.

"What's this?" She asked grabbing the broken wood staring at it like he had gone mad or something.

"It's a weapon." He answered flicking the other part of the board in the air catching it and moving it with ease, like it was an extra part of him. "Let's say it's a knife."

"And that was worth breaking the bed?" She raised an eyebrow looking at him questioningly not sure what he was planning to do now.

"I was planning to do that another way eventually darling." He muttered a smirk appearing on his face, his eyes meeting hers. It was her turn to be completely taken back a burning blush rising to her cheeks. "This will have to do." She was completely in shock by this flirty and playful side of him, a side she had never seen or remembered. It was unlike anything she had seen from him before, she wasn't sure if she should be embarrassed, angry or flattered. Her heart seemed to hammer erratically a feeling she hadn't felt before just from the way he looked at her, pushing all distractions to one side, she remain focused at least, taking an opportunity while he was willing to train her.

He stood up his eyes growing darker, she watched him, not sure where this was going to go, shrinking under his gaze. Her heart moved up to her throat, she was unable to say anything just memorized by him. Her eyes followed him, fixed completely on him as he moved towards her. He spun the slat his hand with ease, she knew very well what he could do with a blade, remembering the torture she had been through because of him. She however readied herself for what attack he threw at her, watching his every move.

Suddenly he lunged at her, she weaved out of the way blocking his attack. She had no time to recover as he switched hands which the pretend blade was in. He struck her across her chest knocking her slightly off balance before standing up fully looking ever so slightly pleased with himself again.

"You definitely need to learn to fight with weapons, your not prepared for changes." He muttered twirling the slat around again looking pleased with himself. "They need to become a part of you, an extension of your body."

"Then instead of beating me with them, teach me to use them." Isabelle growled getting frustrated from her mistakes.

"This is teaching, there is no plans in fights, you use what you have and only then can you beat your opponent. Your actions have consequences, normally whether you live or the other person dies. You need to control your emotions, they let you down." He stared at her watching her reaction. "Your angry, frustrated and that means you're dangerous. You need to be able to think clearly, be two steps ahead of your enemy."

She narrowed her eyes not sure if he was actually listening to her or just enjoying taunting her. She sighed contemplating what he had just said. Deciding to take matters in her own hands she went to attack him again. He moved away with ease, not attempting to attack this time just dodging her attacks. She continued to lunge forward moving her entire body. He mocked her just side stepping and ducking away from her blows, which only made her attack harder, knowing that he was teasing her, she tried to ignore the impatient emotions within. He finally gave in and started to join the fight. Blocking some of her attacks and occasionally placing his own blow.

She finally struck him on his metal arm, the noise confirming it. She paused staying in position looking at his arm before glancing to him. He was the first to move stepping back and staring at her.

"Better." He commented a small smile appearing "You started thinking before moving. Your tiring now though, rest, we will repeat this tomorrow."

She panted nodding, her body was really hurting now, her body damp with sweat, she leant back against the wall, evaluating the pain. It felt good, it felt satisfying. She finally yawned opening her eyes feeling tired. She glanced to the soldier who was now sitting in the corner spinning the slat in his hands deep in thought. He was obviously thinking about something, her heart seemed to skip a beat whenever she was around him. It scared her how connected they were after such a short period of time. But she felt like she had known and even loved him for an eternity now.

She moved her tired body going straight to the bed hesitantly sitting down testing it out making sure it didn't break from the removal of the slat. It was fine, she laid down exhaustion taking over her body. She rolled onto her side watching him as he thought. His mind was elsewhere, he looked serious, his eyes dark. He was menacing again. He had gone to that dark place within him that she now knew better than to pull him out of now.

She wondered what hell he had been through to make him the way he was. This was something that they wanted her to become. It terrified her, the thought of becoming so damaged you turn into someone or something else. That you become so broken you hurt those you care about. Wrapping her arms around herself she pulled her knees to her body and closed her eyes. She needed the hope of them escaping to keep her sane, to save herself and possibly him from this hell.


	25. Chapter 25

_"Come with me now." She heard his voice in the darkness. "Isabelle quickly."_

 _She moved out of the bed she had been laying in, unsure what was happening, feeling him take hold of her hand as he pulled her out of the dark cell. Following him through the maze and tunnels of the base, she had no idea what was happening, they moved quickly and silently. His guard was up she could tell, he slowed her body moved behind his was they waited, then she could hear it too there were footsteps, suddenly he was holding her back against the wall. Her heart was galloping, she held her breath too scared to make a sound by just breathing, gripping hold of his hand she closed her eyes as they waited. She realised then that they were doing something that could have terrible consequences, his hand tightened around her smaller one. She felt a slight reassurance from this simple hold, knowing that he was with her made her feel safer than if she was alone. Once the footsteps disappeared into the distance, they moved again, he pulled her along, leading the way. obviously knowing where they were heading._

 _"Stop." A commanding voice said._

 _Both of them paused, he released her hand, Isabelle felt a tremor pass through her as the soldier slowly turned around looking back at the owner of the voice. He said nothing, almost going to that place which was purely their soldier, an assassin. Isabelle remained where she was not really sure what she should be exactly doing right now, instead waiting for any signal he gave._

 _"What are you doing Soldier?" The voice asked_

 _"Training." The Soldier replied coldly._

 _"Under who orders." The voice continued to question._

 _Isabelle watched as the soldier glanced to her, she could see him calculating what to do next. Quickly he pulled a small hand gun out, pointing it to the owner of the voice and pulled the trigger without blinking. Isabelle turned horrified seeing the man stagger, his gun pointing at her as he fell back, the staining of blood seep into his uniform. She watched as he fell to the floor, her eyes wide open staring at the body. She felt the soldier grab her hand and pull her away, she knew then that if this didn't work they were going to be punished worse than ever before._

 _They now ran through the corridors moving with more urgency than before knowing it would not be long till they knew what was happening. The base seemed to go on forever, constant turns and corridors. Alarms then started, she felt them pick up speed, she guessed this was now there only chance to get out of this hell. She could feel the sudden rush of fresh air along the passage, the air smelled better, less stuffy, there was hope again. The soldier stopped suddenly grabbing hold of her shoulders looking at her seriously._

 _"Run, get out that door and run Isabelle." He said sternly pointing down the corridor, where a light shone above the door._

 _"What about you?" She frowned looking at him, unsure what was going on. "Your coming with me?"_

 _"You need to go." He said firmly looking at her however she could see the pain in his eyes._

 _"No." Isabelle shook her head suddenly realising he was going to sacrifice his own freedom to ensure hers. "No. I can't do it without you."_

 _"Isabelle, I need to make sure they don't follow you." He pulled her closer against him, holding her tightly in his arms. "I love you, I always will but you need to run sweetheart, run and don't look back."_

 _"But I love you, we were going to be together." Isabelle felt the warm tears run freely down her cheeks._

 _He gently wiped them away before placing a kiss on her lips, she clung onto him, knowing that this was a good bye kiss, one which she needed to remember. What he was doing was suicide, she knew that. He pulled back placing a kiss on her forehead, gently pushing her back from him as he said._

 _"Now run." He ordered._

 _Letting out a sob, she did, she could feel her heart break every stride she took furthering herself from him. At the end of the corridor was the door, she opened it seeing it came out in a alley some where. Stepping out the door, she took a deep breath in, remembering how fresh the air was. She looked up seeing the dark night sky above and the stars. It had been so long since she saw stars. Remembering her promise she took a step away from the door, only wanting to glance back to see her soldier again, gun shots started firing but knew she didn't want to see the potential outcome of those shots._

Heading down the _alley, she moved quickly before seeing guards appear, her heart sank, she froze, seeing the guns they held in their arms. She looked around knowing she needed another way out of this. Turning around she walked away hoping they hadn't spotted her and that the other way would be better. As she got to the end she saw a tall wall, she knew she could manage it with her enhancements. Jumping she grabbed hold of the edge of the wall, as she heard a single gunshot, pain seared in her abdomen as her grip slipped. Falling she hit the hard floor gasping for air, she knew then that she was done for as guards surrounded her just as she passed out._

When Isabelle woke, her brain felt like it was on overdrive putting that new information into order. She was unsure what had exactly happened, it wasn't something she had any links too. There was that emotion again, love, what she felt for him was intense and it only grew the more she learnt about them. A tears fell from her eye as she thought about the memory and the feeling she had felt when she thought she had lost him forever and the pain from that was indescribable.

"You okay doll?" His warm voice softly said.

Remembering she was pressed against his warm body, she felt his hands brushing through her hair, slowly she opened her eyes, looking up see him watching her. She felt herself blush, being caught out about crying over a memory. She moved away sitting up leaning against the wall sitting beside him wiping her eyes. She pulled her knees against her chest as she looked over to him seeing that he wasn't looking at her. Staring at him, she could feel that love she had felt for him return, just from looking at him.

"Sorry another memory." She apologised feeling like she had to let him know what she was going through. "It just feels so strange still." She said as she thought about explaining what she was thinking, at least then he might understand why she was the way she was. "Its just taking time for me to get around how I feel about you now. Its so confusing to have these feelings from my memories and feeling them now, like its always been like this but also that everything is still so new and fresh."

"I understand, you don't need to explain yourself, trust me." He nodded smiling warmly. "You were patient with me when our roles were reversed. When I was stripped of my memories. I tried getting you out once, I knew and planned the way, I worked out exactly how we would do it." He started to explain a seriousness coming to his face. "They wiped my memories, so I couldn't remember you or anything about the escape."

Isabelle mouth opened but she didn't have the words to say anything, she understood then the memory she had. She just nodded looking at him, she wondered if he realised what she had remembered or not.

"Its what I dreamt about last night."

"I know." He nodded smiling. "You still talk in your sleep."

"Oh," Suddenly feeling embarrassed, Steve had been telling the truth that time. "You lost your memories like me?" Isabelle said changing the subject looking at him realising why he had been so patient and good to her, he had once been in her position too.

"Yes, more than once." He nodded sounding a little distant as he spoke about it. "I still can't remember my life before here. Not even my name but some things keep coming back to me, like you."

"So how did you remember me?" She frowned a little confused how he could remember her but nothing else.

"My memory has been taken from me a few times before you came into my life. Once they sent me into you after they had taken my memories from me, I didn't know who you were and well what was going on." He glanced nervously at her, her heart paused as she waited for his reply. "You seemed to recognise that I was different, you kept calm and explained everything to me, keeping your distance at first as I didn't trust you at the time."

"Right." Isabelle sighed trying to recall that memory but unable to do so. "So what made your memories return?"

"I must have been ordered to attack you, I remember doing it." He answered her sheepishly. "without cause."

"Why did you attack me?" Isabelle continued to question him, hoping he would give her some more of the answers to the questions which had been floating around her mind. "Why didn't you stop, if you knew me?"

"Some times they order me to do things and I don't have control." He said bluntly, she could see a cold look pass over his face, she slowly reached out, her small hand taking hold of his silver metal one. She watched as he looked down surprised by this little gesture of reassurance which she could offer. "They commanded me in a way which meant I didn't have control, when I realised what I was doing, it was too late, you were on the floor, barely conscious, bleeding. I felt sick at what I had done." He turned to look at her, she could see the worry and remorse on his face. "I made sure you were looked after, they told me that if I didn't do what they ordered there would be worse consequences. After all of that you still managed to forgive me. After everything."

"Your trapped because of me." Isabelle looked away biting her lip, she realised how stuck the pair of them were. "Its not your fault."

"If I don't do what they want they will hurt you and I can't let that happen." He muttered staring at her, he let out a long sigh, she could see the conflict in his eyes.

"I am sorry." Isabelle shook her head looking at him, glancing down at their entwined fingers, even thought it was an artificial hand, it felt good still to have his hand holding hers.

He just chuckled, which made her frown, she could see him look away as he smiled to himself. She wasn't sure what was exactly so funny but it was nice to see a smile on his face. Finally he looked back to her, the obvious questioning look on her face said it all.

"You were always quick to blame yourself before and forgive. Probably the reason why I fell in love with you." He commented his eyes looking straight into hers. "Why I still love you."

She could feel the blush return, no one had made her feel this way before from what she could remember. She felt his metal hands grip tighten around her hand, giving her a reassuring squeeze before letting go. He slowly moved out of the small bed, picking up the tray that had obviously been left for them at some point while she slept. He climbed back into bed resting the tray between them.

"Eat you need to build up your strength." He said firmly.

She just smiled at the way he tried to look after her, all he had tried to do was care for her since she could remember. Watching him she picked up one of the slices of bread, pulling small parts off trying to make it last longer as her stomach growled in protest. She leant back trying to process what he had told her, he had once tried to save her but failed. This now meant that her chances of getting him to help her escape were near to none. If he had tried before and failed he would be less likely to help her again to do it. She didn't blame him for that, god only knew how long he had been trapped here for and what they had managed to do to him in that time. Neither of them spoke for a while, comfortable being in each others company without the need to talk, Isabelle appreciated the silence, it wasn't awkward at all, it just gave her time to think about what she had been told. There was really only one other big question she had in her head.

"So who are they, the people who have us trapped here?"

He looked to her not really saying anything at first. She knew he must be thinking about what to say, he was after all one of their soldiers, even perhaps if it was against his will some of the time, he was still theirs. She waited patiently not wanting to rush him but only hoped he was going to answer her this time.

"HYDRA." He finally spoke up.

"What do they want?" She continued sitting up a little more and leaning forward so she could watch him more closely as he told her.

He shook his head, not answering her, she just slumped back watching him. She knew that he was probably stuck in what he could and couldn't talk about to her, their orders and all. She continued to eat her bread, still thinking about what had been said. It was more than what she had to begin with at least but it was still a lot of unknown and unanswered questions, she wondered how much they actually knew between them. He obviously was holding back on what he could tell her, which only seemed to confirm how much he was under their control. She had no idea what she was going to do now though. She knew she couldn't stay here, like this for how ever long they were planning to keep her. She didn't want to die here.

The door clicked open ending there getting to know you time, she watched as two heavily armed guards walked in. They threw the cuffs at the bed, she just looked at the guards then to the soldier who picked up the cuffs before looking at her. She then knew the cuffs were for her, she held out her wrists watching him as he placed them on firmly locking them into place. Slowly she got up following the soldiers lead. They walked out of the cell together, she noticed how the soldier stuck by her side constantly, he was vigilant in his surroundings never really relaxing.

They were put into another room alone, the door locked behind them, he removed the cuffs that were placed on her setting them down on a bench. The room itself was dimly lit, curiosity got the better of her as Isabelle looked around the room moving through a corridor finding communal showers. She then realised what was intended, she did feel grubby, it had been days from what she could guess since she arrived. She walked back through the corridor seeing that he was already removing his uniform. She felt slightly awkward, not feeling that comfortable to strip in front of him yet even though she guessed she had done it before, she knew though she had little chance of privacy here. He didn't take long to get completely undress and move to the shower room, Isabelle looked away not really sure what she should actually do, whether she should wait for him or not. She heard the water turn on before he said.

"You did this before and they ended up forcibly stripping you when I wasn't around and pushed you into the showers."

She could believe in what he said from her own memories however part of her knew he could just be saying that. She slowly stripped out of her clothing, she felt unsure in what she was going to do, she could feel the frustration build within her that she was being forced into this situation. However she had little choice, she would rather do it on her own terms than be forced to do it. Once completely undressed she moved hesitantly into the shower room, thankful that there was at least steam within the room.

She started to wash feeling completely tense knowing that he was also naked in the room with her, part of her didn't trust him or herself at this moment in time. The water however was a pleasant distraction, her skin suddenly felt clean and the dirt from the past few days washed away. She tried to be as quick as possible but at the same time enjoy this simple pleasure of washing. She ran her hands through her hair pulling slightly at the tangles before tossing her hair over her shoulder. She caught a glimpse at his body in the process, there were a lot of muscles all in the right places. The water ran smoothly down his body as she watch each of his muscles move as he shifted under the spray of the water, it was mesmerising. His body was just muscle, however there were also noticeable scars there too, she wondered what he had been through to get them. She looked away feeling a tightening in her own stomach, she hadn't really had time to think about him in that way but she was definitely attracted to him. She hadn't heard him move out of the room as when she next looked he had gone. She continued washing herself, he had been a complete gentleman, obviously sensing her discomfort in this situation.

Turning off the water she realised she had no towel and now needed to walk complete bare into another room he was in and probably waiting for her. Cursing inwardly she closed her eyes knowing she needed to just go in there and find a towel quickly. She had just built up enough courage to move when she saw his silver arm appear around the door holding out a medium size towel.

"Thought you may need this." Came his voice.

She couldn't help but smile at this sweet gesture. She took the towel out of his hand wrapping it around herself, it barely covered everything but it was better than nothing. Stepping from around the corner, moving into the other room, she could see him standing there his back to her, giving her some privacy at least. He seemed to be a gentleman in some aspects, she quickly dressed not bothering to see if he was still not looking, she trusted after how he had just behaved he wasn't. Once dressed she turned around still seeing he back was turned, she just tapped him on his good shoulder saying.

"I'm decent." Once he had turned around she quickly stood on tip toe and kissed him on his stubbly cheek before saying. "Thank you."

She felt better from showering and that she could trust the soldier in compromising situations, he seemed to be turning into some one she could rely the more time they spent together.


	26. Chapter 26

_Thank you to all the followers of this Story and those who have reviewed it. Just a quick heads up if your not into smut I would wait/move to the next chapter. Ta._

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Isabelle woke within darkness her body pressed against another equally warm comfortable body. It had been the first time in ages she had woken without recalling a new memory, she felt a relieved with all that was going on right now. It gave her a chance to think a little clearer, without a memory clouding her thoughts, it was a break she really appreciated.

She realised that had her head was resting on his chest which seemed to be the position she woke in most times when he was in bed with her. They seemed to be drawn together like magnets from a force much stronger than she really understood. His chest slowly rose and fell, meaning he was still asleep. She sighed her body relaxing against him, she had become so use to his presence now, it seemed so normal to be like this with someone. He was a source of reassurance, which was welcomed in this environment. She closed her eyes enjoying the feeling of him being here beside her and the reassurance it seemed to give her. It was like she had been here before but in another life but it already felt so comfortable. He was protecting her from her memories, HYDRA and her own mind.

Slowly propping herself up trying not to wake him she stretched feeling a relief from their sparring session they had had that afternoon after showering. He had taught her new techniques she hadn't learnt before and by the end of it she got it, getting better each time. Glancing down to him, he seemed at peace while he slept, nothing troubling him at all. He looked like a normal man. His handsome facial features relaxed, none of these conflicting emotions both of them had, she just stared at him trying to search her clouded mind and heart for what she felt now for this man. She had loved him before all her other past had happened, but was that what she wanted now or was it something which was being forced upon her. It was like another life was pushed onto her but it was welcomed by her longing heart. A life with him trapped, under command by others who could kill them any moment. Living in torture while part of her now felt like she couldn't live without him though.

Laying back down she stared at the man beside her. It was confusing how she felt, she knew him, she trusted him, cared for him and she could even say part of her loved him. Her very first memories of him sent trembles through her body, he was terrifying back then while under orders to fight her. A source of pain and suffering, now here she was lying in bed with him. Not your typical relationship at all.

She could tell that he wanted more from her but never pushed it, he never expected anything from her, however he still seemed to care for her the same way from her memories. She rolled onto her side feeling restless, running her hand through her hair as she thought. She had loved him or did she still love him, she couldn't quite tell the difference any more. She turned her head to look at him, her eyes drifting down to his metal arm, it was a brilliant design, so life like, much more advanced than really possible yet. It worked exactly like a normal arm completely but was twice to three times as strong. She touched it knowing he would feel nothing. The metal was smooth and cool to touch, the tiny rivets were barely noticeable. However it was his scarred skin which was connected to the metal that interested her the most. It looked brutal how they managed to attach it. Her heart ached for him, the pain he must have endured while they were surgically altering him. Was that eventually there plans for her too. She ran her hand along the metal, her fingers occasional grazing the scar tissue.

The things he must have seen and done for HYDRA, there were no records out there on him, she had done her research and even SHIELD didn't know about him. He was real though and what he did, she knew he must have done bad things however it didn't change how she felt about him. He was also a puppet after all, one that HYDRA had moulded and in a way nurtured into this soldier. Now he was put in a even worse position because of her, now she was here and he was doing his best to protect and look after her, his choice but he choose to do this for her. She knew he must still love her to do that just for her, she let out a sigh knowing that if anything that just confirmed her feelings for him.

"What are you doing?" A cool voice muttered pulling her out of her thoughts.

She glanced up to see his glimmering eyes in the darkness looking up at her, she shrunk under his gaze as he rolled over facing her, only millimetres away. Her lips went dry as he stared at her waiting for her answer, she seemed to shrink under his gaze. She knew she was blushing, feeling the heat in her cheeks as she knew she had been caught out completely.

"I was just looking." Isabelle stuttered embarrassed at being caught.

She could see the corner of his lips curl upwards, his hands grabbed her suddenly pulling him against her as he rolled back onto his back. Gasping she was pressed firmly against him, she stared down at his face. She spread her hands against his firm muscular chest, she could feel the tingle like electricity between them. She wondered if it was like this before, the attraction between them or was this just now. She felt her stomach clench at the thoughts running through her mind for a moment before she pushed them aside knowing better than dwell on those thoughts here.

"Is that better to look?" He drawled his eyes staring into hers, she could see the same fire she felt burn behind his cool blue eyes.

"Not really." Isabelle retorted, he rolled them over again so now he was on top of her. "My answer is still the same." she drawled knowing he was now playing with her.

His hold didn't relax though, in fact it tightened. Her hands moved, running across the skin on his chest, he was so warm. Biting her lip, she knew this was a dangerous position to be in with him right now. Everything felt so new with the fresh memories she had, it was so familiar and she welcomed that but she knew they were pushing temptation too far. Feeling his breath upon her face she could feel her heart rate spike. His lips suddenly crashed down onto hers, this time she wasn't going to resist, she couldn't, her heart had won.

She could feel him pull against her skin trying to get as close to her as possible. She wrapped her arms tightly around him keeping him close to her. She could hear the beginning of a rip of material, knowing exactly what he was doing she stopped him. She had no other tops to wear and she did not fancy being without a t-shirt to cover up at the moment. He took the hint peeling her own top off she was left in just a sport type crop top, which he removed immediately after understanding what she wanted as he pulled the wool blanket over them for cover. Finally she pressed herself against him. Her hands running up his toned arms before wrapping her armed around his neck kissing him. He seems to take some reassurance from her kiss. She felt his hands roam down her naked back before reaching her behind squeezing it as he pressed his crotch against her own. Her body trembled as she felt his erection pressing against her pelvis. Pulling back she pressed her head against his forehead breathing heavily trying to catch her breath.

"I have no idea what to call you?" Isabelle panted her mind drifting elsewhere to stop herself over thinking this situation.

"I don't have a name, I have no memories before this." He replied sounding a little confused. "Is this really why we stopped?" He queried, Isabelle shook her head knowing it wasn't. "Are you ok with this?" He whispered his hands moving up to her back sending tingles across where there skin met.

"It's overwhelming these feelings I have for some one I feel like I barely know." She replied not breaking contact from him. "I can't explain it."

"Do you want this?" He asked generally sounding concerned for her wellbeing. "This, now?"

She moved her one hand running across his mauled shoulder to his neck and up to his face cupping. Her heart definitely did want this, she wanted him, her head on the other hand was still trying to work out if truly loved him or if this was just a feeling from memories. She looked up at him seeing the glint in his eyes, she knew that she couldn't stop this now, she didn't really want to stop, it was just the unanswered questions which made it more complicated.

She slowly nodded looking into his eyes as her stomach clench in anticipation of what was going to happen between them, she had no idea what to expect even though she assumed that they had done this before. He ran his hand along her side making her squirm ever so slightly against him. He pulled her hand down, his warm hand taking hold of hers their fingers entwining.

"We will be slow and we can stop whenever you want." He told her sounding deadly serious. "I am not going to do anything your not comfortable with."

She pressed her lips against his entwining her legs around him pulling him closer than he was already. She felt him grip her bare skin holding her close to him. There was a urgent need that was pushing the pair of them along. His lips moving down her neck and along her chest, kissing her like he was worshipping her his mouth wrapped around one of her nipples making her gasp as she arched her back. His cold arm moved keeping her back raised as he moved his mouth to the neighbouring one. His hand cupping the now aching breast. Isabelle sighed as his ministrations continued enjoying the exquisite feeling it was causing within her. She felt his metal arm slide down her back, causing goose pimples from the skin contact against the cool metal. His hand slipped within the elasticated trousers and shorts she was wearing cupping her behind. Isabelle gripped hold of his neck, her hand going into his long brown hair tangling amongst it. He glanced up at her giving her enough time to pull him back to her lips. Kissing him like her life depended solely on that one kiss. Laying her back down as their mouths locked together his attention seemed moved to her trousers, he pause for a moment pulling back from her lips as if to allow her to protest against his next move. Isabelle knew what he was waiting for, she wanted this as much as he did, perhaps more she didn't know. She this time planted soft gentle kisses around his neck urging him on.

Within a millisecond he had yanked down her trousers and shorts together, pulling them off completely. She was as naked as the day she was born expect for the blanket which covered them both. His hands skimmed over her now completely bare skin of her lower abdomen and legs, completely avoiding the goal. She twisted against him trying to guide him where they both wanted him to be. He continued to tease her, before his hands ran over her nether region causing her to sigh against him. Gently he rubbed her making her groan against his lips. He was working her like a musical instrument he knew exactly how to play. It wasn't long before he had her writhing against him moaning. It was only then he sank his fingers into her core making her body still and bow. She closed her eyes feeling that swell within her grow as her heart seemed to move to her throat preventing her from making noise. She just longed for him to be fully within her. Her breath was caught within her as his fingers slowly started to move, to pump within her. His cold hand cupped her breast kneading it gently As he kissed her around her mouth and along her cheek before whispering into her ear.

"Your so wet."

Isabelle couldn't help but cry out as her body spasm against his as she came. She wrapped her arms tightly around him holding him close as he continued to move his fingers prolonging her release. She pressed her lips against his kissing him as she continued hold him. He withdrew his hands for a moment from her, she could hear a sound of a zip and she knew what was next. She already felt the anticipation of what was to come.

"I need to know that you want this Isabelle?" He asked pulling back from her, there was a tone of seriousness in his voice.

"Please." Isabelle begged her hands resting upon his strong back. "I want you."

That was all he seemed to need to hear. He only took a few seconds before plunging into her, it only took a few pumps before his erection was buried fully within her, his mouth covered hers to stop the noise she produced from him entering her. Her nails dug into his back, clawing against his skin. He stilled allowing her to relax around him, it gave her time to feel him, he stretched her beautifully. It burned but it didn't hurt, she could feel every inch of him. Testing she squeezed herself around him, she could hear him groan against her own lips making her smile. This was the encouragement he needed as he slowly started to move keeping to a rhythm which worked for both of them. That familiar tingling spread through her again, her body seemed to become possessed with every thrust from him, it was like it no longer belonged to her. The feeling grew within her till it could no longer be contained, he seemed to feel this as the speed of his thrusts increased. She moved her mouth away from his as her orgasm took over her body, burying her face into his shoulder she cried out. She gripped hold of his arms as he continued to plough within her as he reached his own collapsing against her, as both their bodies recovered. She closed her eyes exhausted from the intensity of it all. He slowly lifted himself off of her laying down beside her and pulling her against his own body.

She lay panting in his arms, both of them covered in a sheen of sweat. Isabelle's heart pounded erratically in her chest. Feeling his arm wrapped around her making her feel safe, she slowly moved so she could look at him. He was completely relaxed, his eyes shut and a small smile on his face.

"That was better than I remember." He whispered against her hair.

Isabelle just smiled as she ran her fingers along her lips which were raw from his kisses still, she looked away from him as her mind drifted elsewhere. She couldn't help but feel her heart swell for him, he had her completely now, she was his. She had fallen deeply for him and there was no going back.

"We better get dressed." He pressed a kiss to her head as he got up unashamed of his nakedness. But with a body like his he had nothing to be ashamed of.

Slowly sitting up using the blanket to cover her modesty, she pulled on the underwear shorts they issued her and the crop top before laying back down. She watched his shadow in the darkness pull on his trousers before he joined her again pulling her back against him.

"So we did do this before?" Isabelle frowned curiosity getting the better of her.

She could just about see him smirk as he pulled her against him. She rolled onto her side wrapping her arm around him. She didn't understand why he was smiling, she just cocked her head to look at him.

"That says a lot about my love making skills." He drawled sounding amused by her comment.

"You know what I mean." Isabelle scolded him.

"Yes. We did." He nodded becoming quiet.

Isabelle took the silence as meaning something. She couldn't sleep now, her mind was racing with questions she didn't have the answers for. She had yet to remember them ever having sex before, only that memory of when he told her that he loved her. She guessed from the memories she had reclaimed that she was a virgin when HYDRA first took her. That argument with Clint had been about sleeping with her so called cheating boyfriend just before HYDRA took her, she never had done it with him or any one else. She knew that this was now going to make things more complicated for them, however HYDRA wanted to play with them. Now HYDRA had something to use against them, their feelings. She looked to him seeing he was back asleep, she rested her head back down on his shoulder, draping her arm over him closing her eyes trying not to ruin the moment by over thinking it.


	27. Chapter 27

She woke in the morning finding a tray of food beside her, she guessed he had been gone for some time. Slowly sitting up she felt her muscles ache, she knew what that was from as she thought about what had happened last night. Her heard swelled as she thought about him, she felt like a besotted teenager for a moment, falling hopelessly in love. For once her head didn't argue with that feeling, that meant only one thing, she was hopelessly in love with him.

She smiled as she thought about the previous night while she ate all the food which had been left for her, remembering how little she had been fed. It was bland stale like food but it was something to stop the hunger pains she felt. This with them changed things now, sighing she leant back looking up at the ceiling, it maybe didn't change them for the better but she wasn't alone any more, that was something, like a light surrounded by darkness. She had him, together perhaps they could managed to work things out, at least work on something to give them both some much needed hope.

She heard the door click open as guards came in, she went to get out of the bed pushing herself onto her feet but she stumbled falling to the ground, she felt weak, woozy, the floor seemed to shift slightly under her hands. She tried to get up pulling at the bed to help steady her but instead just pulling the blankets off along with the tray. She had no idea what was happening or why she felt this way unless, she glanced to the guards who stood in the door completely unconcerned about her condition, they had drugged her. The clatter of the plastic plate made her look to the food, she knew then where the source of the drug had been. This had been planned by them, she panicked knowing that she needed to do something, she tried to fight the drug but she slowly lost control of her body as she slumped against the bed unable to move.

The guards dragged her along the of the floor, not even caring if she got injured in the process. Her mind raced as she considered what exactly they had planned for her now, this didn't make any sense. The sedation made her mind drift, she was unable to concentrate. Trying to keep her eyes open, her whole body felt extremely heavy, like it was no longer her own. She looked up seeing two guards only one she recognised Rollins pulling at her limp limbs. She was unable to fight, unable to move, completely helpless. She glanced around not sure what was happening or where he was, where her soldier, her protector was, he was the only hope she had to stop this now. Unless this was part of the plan, to make her feel like there was hope only to rip it away from her yet again.

She was carried by the pair through the corridors of the facility, unable to struggled against their hold. Her heart hammered painfully, she was completely dazed by what was happening. She felt the fear flood her as she thought about all the possibilities they had in store for her. She was laid down on a metal table as her heart rate spiked, she felt the restraints on her wrist and ankle secured. She couldn't move any way but this perhaps meant that it was only a matter of time till she had control of her muscles again. Looking as much as she could around the room she could see nothing which could tell her what was happening. She tried to calm her nerves taking deep breathes in. She knew what they were capable of, which meant that she knew what to expect from them, which offered no reassurance. It was only a matter of time knowing she would get the sensation back to her body, gaining control again was the only thing which kept her calm.

Time seemed to move slowly, what ever they were planning for her, they weren't in any particular rush to get it done. Isabelle tried to gather her thoughts, focusing on being able to move, she finally got her fingers to move under her own control. Which was something at least to give her hope that the drug was wearing off.

The men with lab coats soon arrived, all of them wearing facial masks which was sensible for them, she could not identify who they were. Isabelle knew this was not good, the HYDRA scientists had only brought her pain before. This was how everything started she closed her eyes not really knowing what to expect from this, what did they have planned. She felt a needle prick her skin as she looked down seeing that they were injecting her with something into one of her muscles in her thigh. She could feel the bile from her stomach rise to the back of her throat. The next was a larger needle, the placed where her neck met her shoulder, a click fired as she winced from the pain she felt. She was going to be sick from the worry if they continued much more of there plans.

There was a shout from outdoors followed by a bang of gunfire, the door crashed open Isabelle looked up from the table seeing him standing there, her soldier. He was here for her, he had came her for her, her heart skipped with joy. He headed straight for scientist with the needle slamming him into the wall knocking him unconscious. The others quickly scurried away not wanting to be next on his list. With his metal hand he ripped the restraints away from her skin, freeing her from the restraint. She could see the blade in his softer hand knowing what he was thinking about doing to the bastards. Isabelle managed to get herself to sit up unsteadily the last bits of the drug working its way out of her system. She rubbed her sore thigh where they had injected her with something. She noticed him flick the blade in his hand as he considered his next move. She could see his eyes fix on the other scientists, the look he was giving them she knew what he had planned. Pushing herself off the table she stumbled towards him grabbing hold of his jacket still feeling the weakness in her legs, he gently wrapped a supporting arm under her arm pulling her upright. She looked up at him pleading him with her eyes knowing what he was thinking was going to possible make things much worse than they were.

"He's not worth it." Isabelle muttered trying to get his attention. "Don't do it, don't risk everything, you know they will punished us."

She could see that her words made sense to him, he suddenly looked down at her, seeing only worry in his eyes now. He took his jacket off placing it over her shoulders as she realised she was still only in her crop top and shorts. She pulled it on grateful for something else to cover her up. He gently scooped her up, lifting her with ease into his arms, he carried her back to the cell. No one took any notice of them moving around freely. The guards opened the door to their cell shutting it behind them. Isabelle sat down on the bed wrapping herself up trying to get warmth and comfort out of the blankets around her. She watched as he paced the room, the anger in his face showed exactly how he felt. The blade still in his hand, he occasional twirled it as if ready for another fight.

Isabelle was still in shock, she could feel her body shiver from what happened. She had been caught completely off guard, she never expected them to do something like this. She had a stinging sensation in her leg still from what ever they injected into her leg. Part of her was concerned what else they had put in her, the other knew that was really the least of her worries. What was going to happen to them now?

The door slammed open to see Pierce and a heavily armed Rumlow enter the room. He stepped between her and them immediately watching as they entered the room further. The hostility which was given off made Isabelle tremble slightly, she knew that this could go one of many ways non of them good. She watched as the soldier stilled waiting for them to make a move first.

"Report." Pierce barked at him.

"You said you would not touch her as long as I did as ordered." He answered them like a obedient soldier should. "I did nothing except what you ordered me to do. There was no reason to take her against her will."

Isabelle felt her mouth slacken slightly, she never expected him to stand up for her like this. He was loyal to them in a way, he did all that they ordered, even if it was something monstrous but he would do it without question. She knew that he was being used by them, it was plain to see, however for him to speak against them surprised her. It made her consider if he would be willing to help her or them escape together again, if planned better. Pierce was silent for a moment assessing the situation in front of him. Isabelle watched the clogs turn in his head before he answered.

"I will make sure it will never happen again." He finally replied sounding very firm about it. "You have my word."

"No. I had your word before, I just want her protected." The soldier hissed "Do better."

"Your not in a position to make demands." Pierce reminded him before pausing.

The silence made Isabelle nervous, she watched the men before her, she could see Rumlow staring at her waiting impatiently, his fingers twitching over the trigger of his weapon. A small smirk on his face which made her cringe within as he continued to unashamedly stare at her. She guessed they weren't going to do anything to upset their soldier but they could only do so much. Neither her or the soldier were in a position to argue they were after all prisoners and pawns in what ever game they were playing but she knew the soldier was not going to let this slide at all.

"What do you want and I will see if I can accommodate you? After all the work you have done for us, which has greatly helped our cause I am sure I can offer something in return." Pierce suggested sounding calm and confident, it seemed to be like he actually cared about what the soldier wanted, Isabelle could see through it. It was an obvious lie just to make the soldier feel important.

She stared from the soldier to Pierce. She could see that the soldier was completely thrown from this type of question, he thought for a moment briefly glancing at her. HYDRA wanted to keep their soldier sweet, he was obviously worth something to them after all. She had no idea what he actually did but she guessed with his skills it had to be bad and she really didn't want to think about what his kill rate actually was.

"Better accommodation for her where she will not be spied upon and give us proper meals. Isabelle will not be forced to do anything against her will and she will be kept safe while I leave her." The soldier said completely selflessly. "You will then have my complete co-operation and I will not let you down."

Isabelle guessed this was a daring move by the soldier, they had control over him already because of her. All they needed to do now was to say that they would hurt or kill her. Surely he would do as he was commanded to save her after the way he behaved now but he had shown his weakness well and truly now. She thought about how deep they were in this mess now and there was little she could do or offer to help them.

"I think we can do that. We need to discuss the next mission but that can be done later today." Pierce muttered nodding before leaving the cell. "Until then."

Isabelle couldn't help but be shocked at the cell door shut leaving them alone. Pulling her legs against her body she curled back up in bed trying to process what the hell had happened. Isabelle felt him sit down beside her pulling her against his body, holding her closely, she welcomed the comfort he offered her. She felt the barriers which she had tried to put up break down as tears slowly began to roll down her cheeks, a sense of helplessness fell over her. She was at the mercy of this organisation, she only had the soldier to protect her now and if he loss interest she would more than likely be dead. She felt his hand run over her shoulder as he continued to comfort her. Neither of them saying a word just holding each other.


	28. Chapter 28

While the soldier was at this so called meeting Isabelle was moved to a cell which half resembled a low key hotel room, it was a lot better than what she previous had. There was a nice pretty much double bed with a small desk and chair. All the guards seemed extra cautious around her now since her soldier defended her, word had seemed to spread quickly, which was no bad thing. At least she knew that they wouldn't do anything stupid for now. She moved around the extra spacious cell they had been given, glimpsing inside the bathroom seeing there was private showering facilities. Not caring if the room was bugged she needed a shower right now, she still felt off since they had sedated her. She could see the dirt on her arms and the rest of her body after they dragged her to the lab, stripping out of her disgusting clothing she turned on the shower. To her surprise warm water came out of the nozzle, she sighed stepping into the warm shower. She scrubbed her entire body removing any evidence of the dirt that was once on her body. Her skin started to feel raw from the layers of skin which she had removed while cleaning herself up. She finally felt slightly more human but with that she suddenly felt weak and helpless.

There was the added realisation that this was her life now, she was a prisoner and she had no idea how she was going to get out of this mess. She relied on one man to keep her safe and provide simple comforts for her but he was compromised and probably not of the soundest mind either with his memories wiped as well. She looked around the cold looking room not really sure what to make of it. This was not what she wanted from life, this was not where she wanted to be, locked away in a cold dark cell. She knew this was not going to last, they were not going to keep her like this for too long, something would happen and she would be back in a single grubby room or worse.

The water offered some relief on her body, making tense muscles slowly relax. She could feel days or weeks of bottled up emotions slowly rise to the surface, probably further since her recapture, back to the start of what she could remember. Slowly she rested her head against the cool wall, trying to block out the emotions which were bubbling under the surface. It wasn't enough though, feeling long awaited tears come to her. Letting out a sob she cried, she felt herself shake and break down from the days of intense emotion and the onslaught that had been brought upon her. Her whole life was just full of horror, terror and captivity, even when there was glimmers of hope came the sudden darkness which engulfed it.

She had been too deep in thought to hear the door unlock, open and close before being locked again. The first she knew of someone being in the new cell was by a familiar and gentle voice asking.

"Isabelle are you okay?"

Isabelle turned sharply seeing the soldier standing in the door way looking concerned. Suddenly she felt ashamed by the outburst of her emotions; she wiped her face free of shower water and tears. He was under the spray of water before she knew it, fully clothed, holding her. She froze not really sure what to do or say however his simple hold was enough to make her feel slightly better. Minutes passed where they just held onto one another, neither of them speaking a word until he sighed.

"Please don't hide your emotions from me, it's refreshing to see." He whispered against her ear his hands running up and down her bare back. She closed her eyes as her head connecting with his chest as she still felt stupid for her moment of weakness, crying was not going to solve this problem.

She suddenly realised that she was completely naked and pressed against him, part of her wanted to recoil from him but right now she needed the comfort which he offered her. Resting her head on his shoulder she felt tears form in her eyes as the water stop showering upon her stop and a towel wrapped around her. He held onto her not allowing any break in contact. She felt herself realize this was more than just sex or companionship, it was love after all. Her heart swelled for him by these simple gestures. She allowed him to pull the towel around her naked body before his used another to dry her dripping hair. He gently dragged her into the main room sitting her down on the bed. She glanced up at him seeing only concern in his face, he cared for her as much as she did for him, and it was plain to see.

"I have gotten you clean clothes and some proper food." He gestured to the little table seeing a tray of food he was pointing at. Her stomach suddenly groaned in protest of starvation. The food look half decent too, it had been days since she had seen so much food and there was fruit too.

She sighed nodding, she pulled the towel a little tighter around herself, trying to build up those emotional walls again. She glanced to him as he sat beside her on the bed she had never had some one look after her like this before. There was Steve but she had already accepted him like extended family she guessed. Her soldier was different, she had been intimate with him, he could have and could still just leave if he wished. There was nothing tying him to her but still he was here. He was protecting her, providing for her and caring for her.

"I am sorry, its just, I never expected any of this, I just feel really confused right now, I cant think straight." She looked at him, glancing around the room. "We are never getting out of this are we?"

She could see him look at her, a surprised expression on his face before a stony expression appeared. She gripped the front of her towel not really knowing what else to say. She suddenly felt the helpless and scared emotions return again. Her soldier, a man she loved was controlled by the organisation and this organisation was very good at being hidden. There was no way that she was going to get out of this with him. He got off the bed, stripping out of his wet jacket and t-shirt.

"I tried twice, after the first time." He looked back at her sighing as he turned pressing his back against one of the walls containing them. "It nearly killed you because of me after they took my memories again. I then tried again when they started to burn the compound you were in, destroying evidence, just after they wiped your memory because I failed them. You didn't know me or any of this. I thought it was your chance to freedom especially from not being able to recall this, I got you out but I."

"You were shot." She sighed remembering that memory.

"That was when they told me you had died." He crossed his hands across his bare broad chest looking away from her.

"I remember you rescuing me." Isabelle stared at him not really sure what else there was to say. She had never thought it was him from her memories but now it made sense though, he had used her name and the way he carried her. It was all so familiar now. She looked at him, he wasn't looking at her still. "You can't blame yourself for what they have done to the both of us."

"But what's happened it's my fault." He continued finally looking back to her, she could see the remorse plastered across his face. "I tried freeing you and they make me attack you and then I didn't complete a job and it cost you your memory. They must have found you after shooting me and it meant that they put you on ice till they saw fit to wake you."

"Stop." She commanded moving herself off the bed, moving so she stood in front of him before pressing herself against his body. She looked up at him, he was avoiding eye contact with her, she could see the look in his eyes of self blame, a side she hadn't really seen in him before but one which made her love him even more. "Please don't do this, don't look at me like I will break or I am damaged. I can only do this with you beside me."

"Isabelle." He put his hands on her shoulders. "I am the reason you are here, I am the reason you are the way you are, I am the one who tortured you for months before I came to my senses and saw you as a person, when I felt a overwhelming need to protect you." He paused looking at her seriously. "Isabelle I cannot offer you any more than this."

"Your not going to help me escape again are you?" Isabelle glanced up at him, needing to know the truth and what to expect from him. She needed to know what hope she could give herself, not fooling herself that everything would be okay.

"I tried twice now darling, it only got you further into this mess. If I am going to protect you I need to keep you safe and by keeping you safe I need to do as I am commanded." He said like it had been drilled into his mind. She knew it wasn't his words the moment they left his mouth. She pulled back away from him thinking for a moment before saying simply.

"That's done a great job of keeping me safe!" She shouted angrily. "You can complete missions for them to keep me here, apparently safe but when it comes to me, saving me is something you can't do."

Isabelle took a deep breath knowing she had vented, she stepped back staring at him, she knew then to what extent the control they actually had over him, it was clear. Moving away from him she snatched the clothes off the bed going to the bathroom. She felt her heart sink, not knowing what to make of his reactions. She dressed thinking about what had been said, she understood why he felt that way but it didnt mean they shouldn't try.

Looking in the cheap plastic mirror they provided she could see the fading bruises and shadows under her eyes. She sighed not really knowing what she would be walking into now. Plaiting she thought about how she wished she was normal again. That maybe if all of this didn't happen she would have settled down now with a family of her own or have a good career. She glanced at the empty doorway, not hearing any movement

Taking a deep, she picked up the courage to go out of the bathroom and see what would happen now. She felt herself tremble as she left the room, look to see he was pacing the room yet again. His hand was at his lips as he was deep in thought, she guessed about everything that had been said. She made her way to the bed feeling exhausted from her outburst early she lay down watching him. She felt alone again, he was not taking what she had told him well by the look of things. He hadn't even looked at her again. Closing her eyes she decided to rest pushing any negativity out of her knowing that she needed to get all the rest she could.

 _She was laying in his arms, her head resting on his stomach with her eyes closed a small smile was on her face as she ran her fingers over his abs. Only a blanket covered the pair of them, their clothes discarded messily on the floor. His hand was running through her hair softly. His other hand holding hers rubbing gently as neither of them said a thing._

 _"What did I do to deserve you." He muttered softly._

 _"Why do you think it's you who deserves me, what if it's the other way around." Isabelle smiled keeping her eyes closed amused by his comment._

 _"Because your pure, innocent and good. Like an angel and completely mine." He continued making Isabelle look up at him seeing he was being serious. "You don't deserve me or this."_

 _"Stop." Isabelle stared at him shaking her head. "Don't do this."_

 _"No your goodness gets rid of my evils." He argued looking brushing a loose strand of hair off her face. "The sins I commit."_

 _"They are not yours, your forced to do this by them." Isabelle disagreed staring at him. "You don't choose to do this, your forced too."_

 _Flash_

 _"Get away from me." She screamed at the stranger this soldier before her trying to get away from his unwanted hold._

 _"You know me." He held onto her arms persisting trying to get her to look at him "you know me."'_

 _"Get away," she tried pushing him away fear consuming her as this stranger continued to evade her space._

 _He let go, allowing her to stumble back her arms wrapping around herself terrified not sure what was happening. She looked away from him, trying to push herself further into the corner, hoping that she would become invisible._

 _"Isabelle please listen to me." He said calmly not moving or approaching her, she could hear a plea in his pained voice. "Your name is Isabelle, your my Isabelle."_

 _She stared at the stranger not really understanding what he was saying to her or what he meant. She was confused, scared and alone not knowing what this place was or what this stranger was talking about. She moved back further away from him backing into a wall. The door to the room opened as she stared at the man before her, she saw a shadow of the man in the doorway._

 _"What have you done?" The soldier asked his voice shaking._

 _"Wiped her memory completely." The shadow answered "this is the price she paid for your mistake, you failed your mission this is the consequence. Now are you ready to finish the job we set out for you, if not we can always dispose of her completely."_

She woke understanding perhaps what he was thinking, she had once been the light to his darkness, the hope he once needed of something good. Something for him to aim for in life, to have her. She had become something that that he had hoped she would not. Now he was only trying his best to offer all he could to make her safe and comfortable. She could see the pain he went through when he realised her mind had been wiped and she couldn't recognise him, that there love for each other had been lost. He wasn't to be blamed for this, he was merely a puppet who was under the control of mad men.

Rolling over in bed she found she was alone in the bed, sitting up quickly she noticed a shadow sitting on the floor in the corner, his head hanging low so his hair covered his face. She got some blankets pulling them off the bed as she padded barefoot on the cold floor towards him. Slowly she sat down next to him, feeling him shift she knew he was awake. She pulled the blanket around the both of them, leaning against him she just needed some form of comfort. Slowly his arm slipped around her making her smile, he wasn't mad at her from her lashing out at least, she took hold of his warmer hand saying.

"I had another dream or memory what ever you call them. I saw just after they took my memories, that must have been hard for you. I am sorry." She apologised for all she had done feeling guilty from earlier after what he had done to protect her. "I shouldn't have taken out my anger on you. This isn't your fault."

"You have nothing to apologise for, I should have fought for you better, made sure that you had truly gotten away from this place. Perhaps part of me was being selfish wanting to fail freeing you so I would never loose you but I don't want this life for you, I don't know what to do." He paused his voice still slightly colder than usual. They were silent for a while just holding each other on the cold floor taking comfort from each other. She rested her head on his shoulder, unsure what else there was to say as they took a few moments She still couldn't blame him for this, he had only tried his best for her and that is all he could ever do. "I love you Isabelle." He said in almost a whisper kissing the top of her head gently.

"I love you too." She replied looking up at him fully meaning it seeing the surprise and a happy look in his eyes.


	29. Chapter 29

Isabelle woke up within the bed, warm skin pressed against her own, she let out a contented sigh. A small smile creeping onto her face, even within hell she could still find a moment of happiness. Nuzzling gently into his chest feeling mentally drained after yesterdays roller-coaster of emotions. Now Peace filled her, they had worked a few things out between them, he knew how she felt about being here and even though they may disagree she had seen a moment of hope where he possible thought the same as her. They had continued to talk for a few more hours, she had explained how she had woken up from being frozen in a middle of a battle, how she slowly started remembering, the tests she went through and what she remembered so far. He managed to fill in a few more of the blanks between memories she had, he even opened up how he felt more about her, how he had remembered her, how it had affected him them being apart and how he loved her regardless on what she felt or did. It was obvious what he felt was completely unconditional love towards her and part of her would be lying if she said she didn't feel the same now.

She did find it peculiar that he loved her even though she had changed apparently compared to how she was before they took her memories, not by much but there were some small changes. He still loved her enough to want to protect and make sure she was safe, that hadn't changed. That thought alone made the feelings she had stronger for him and made her more confident, like she could now take on anything life threw at her. A warm armed squeezed her against him, pulling her closer than before making her smile further. She raised her head and looked up at him still seeing his eyes were shut but there was a similar smile on his face, she sighed stretching. She ran her hand along his chest feeling the soft skin above those strong muscles.

"What are you thinking?" He finally muttered breaking the peaceful silence.

"How much I don't deserve you." She smirked thinking back to her recent memory.

She could tell he understood those simple words as he kissed the top of her head. She heard the click of the door before it swung open. Isabelle scrabbled to make sure she was decent as her soldier placed a firm yet protective arm around her. Pulling her back into place next to him, she slipped a arm around him resting herself as she assessed the situation. She didn't quite feel as comfortable as he did about this but she felt safe in his arms. There were two armed guards waiting for them, one spoke up, neither being polite enough to look away making Isabelle scowl at them both.

"Pierce wants you now."

She could feel him tense up from under her, she guessed that it wasn't good what ever it was. She glanced up to him to see him nod at them as they shut the door. Sliding out from her hold he sat up, she could see the muscles in his back ripple beneath his skin.

"Any idea what they might want?" Isabelle sat up resting her head on his back before kissing it. She could feel the anxiety build up within her, the idea of being alone again and the chances of HYDRA going against their word of leaving her be. Watching him she noticed the slow change from the man she loved to the man who use to cause her nightmares, as he turned more back into the stony faced soldier.

"A new mission I guess." He replied his voice sounding very neutral.

"To kill." Isabelle pulled back from him.

"Maybe," he said quietly before getting up and moving away from her. "They have their reasons in why I do what I do."

"That doesn't make it right." Isabelle argued not really liking he reasoning in doing what he did.

"You wouldn't understand." He glanced at her sternly.

She decided that there was no reasoning with him as she watched him dress quickly once he finished he ran a hand through his messy hair, a serious look plastered over his face. He was once again the asset that they HYDRA had made. Isabelle didn't say a thing she just watched him as she pulled her knees up to her chest. He still scared her while he was like this, he was a trained assassin after all, a designed killing machine, a murderer, she knew he wouldn't intend to hurt her but they had control over him, they even tested that theory on her, that scared her the most. He tapped the door that secured them within this new cell, it opened and he left without a second glance.

Isabelle dressed before pacing the room thinking about what she was going to do now and how she could possibly escape, saving now herself and her soldier, trying to make him see sense in this situation. She heard the door open seeing Rumlow looking at her, she slowly took a breath in, readying herself for something not knowing what. He stepped into the room, looking about the place before his eyes fell onto the bed.

"Didn't take you long to drop your knickers." He smirked arrogantly. "You'll get a name for yourself."

"Like you care. What do you want?" Isabelle avoided that answer knowing that they were treading on dangerous territory coming here without the soldier knowing.

"Director Pierce wants you in the laboratory." He held out the cuffs staring at her. "It would be in your best interest if you come of your own will."

"I thought if he did as he was ordered I would be left alone." Isabelle questioned raising an eyebrow.

"That could change, for both of you." Rumlow replied arrogantly "HYDRA doesn't take orders from a mind controlled soldier. He could perhaps loose his memories again or we just get rid of you either way, that doesn't work out for either of you does it? Therefore it would be better if you come with me willingly, no complaint or struggle. You decided."

Letting out a sigh she reluctantly took hold of the cuffs, knowing he was speaking the truth, they really had little choice in the matter any way. HYDRA had already proven how far they were willing to go and if she put up a fight now it could end up with one of them dying. After placing them on she followed him silently, they entered the lab where she sat down at the chair without being asked too, Rumlow secured her in before stepping back, his eyes constantly watching her, looking for a reason to say she stepped out of line she guessed. Like before no one spoke to her, she wondered if the soldier knew this was what they were doing to her, it wasn't anything she hadn't encountered before and it wasn't like before when they had drugged her. However part of her wondered what they were doing or looking to achieve. Once they had done all the tests they wanted she was escorted back to the cell with no explanations.

Slumping back onto the bed she pulled the blankets around herself, curling into a ball. Their was nothing she could do now, she was left alone, trapped. Sighing she closed her eyes planning to catch a few more hours sleep at least. She lay in bed thinking about her friends and family, wondering why there had been no rescue. How could they believe she was fine without seeing her. Steve had promised to check in on her, surely it would be suspicious by now that he would be unable to see her, enough to make him think there was something wrong. Closing her eyes sighing she yawned as her eye lids got heavier.

 _"Chocolate, non alcoholic cocktails and movies." Natasha smiled at her warmly "Perfect for a girls night in."_

 _"When do you think I will get to meet this mystery woman." Isabelle sighed popping some chocolate into her mouth looking at her red headed friend. "I mean it's been months of him sneaking around, he acts like I don't even know he's dating her, I even know her name Laura from his texts, trust me I didn't want to see them."_

 _"Try a year plus." Nat drawled rolling her eyes dramatically._

 _"What." Isabelle exclaimed standing up and staring at her friend. "Over a year."_

 _"Yeah, don't ask, I have told him to just tell you but." Natasha smirked amused by the thought of it. "He's terrified you won't like her and he loves her etc. She may even be the one, his words not mine."_

 _"Why would it change anything if I didn't like her. I am not the one in a relationship with her." Isabelle sat back down tucking her legs under her. "It won't be long till I head to college and then I won't even be living here. So what's the problem."_

 _"It matters to him." Natasha shrugged opening some vodka and adding it to the cocktail mixer in her glass. "Just you two have been a family for so long. I guess he is worried adding another person to it would ruin everything. However I do think this one is serious, not just some short term intense relationship, he seems like he wants to settle with this one."_

 _"He's stupid. I mean to even think that I would get in the way of who he wants to be with" Isabelle commented with a nod from Nat. "Like he is being about Danny."_

 _"So have you two you know?" Nat raised her eyebrows suggestively. "Gotten between the sheets yet?"_

 _"No." Isabelle shook her head letting out a sigh. Leaning back she trusted Natasha enough to know she wouldn't run to Clint about every little thing she told her, if anything Nat was like the older sister she never had. "I don't know, it just doesn't feel right with him right now but he wants too. He try's but I always find excuses to not to go any further."_

 _"Trust me from experience if your not sure don't." Nat told her she sipped at the cocktail sitting forward. "I am not the best person to talk to about relationships, considering the lack of ones I have but if he truly cares about you, he would be willing to wait regardless of how long that took. What's important is that your ready for that type of relationship."_

 _"He doesn't mean to pressurise me, all the guys are like it." Isabelle sighed trying to defend him._

 _"No a lot out there are but their are a few out there who aren't. He sounds like one of the many morons out there to me thinking only with their crotches" Nat replied adding a touch of vodka to Isabelle's glass. "Just don't tell Clint I gave you alcohol or sex advice, he will try an shoot me with one of his arrows, again."_

 _Both of them laughed clinking there glasses together as Isabelle switched the tv on to watch a movie._

 _Flash_

 _She could feel her heart race, she had never been in such a situation. She could feel the hairs on her skin raise. She felt her cheeks warm feeling embarrassed as she could see his eyes on her. She had been stripped bare by him, her pale skin reflecting in the light, she could see his chest rise and fall. She looked at him unsure what to do now, slowly he stepped forwards brushing her bright hair off of her face. Peppering kisses to her cheek he whispered into her ear between them._

 _"We don't have to do this now Isabelle." He wrapped his warm and cool arm around her pulling her closer to him. "I don't want to push you."_

 _She felt her heart swell at those words, she knew he meant them. She could feel him tremble against her, he was just as nervous as she was. She pulled back slightly looking at his blue eyes._

 _"I want this, I want you." She whispered her hand running over the skin on his shoulder._

 _"Tell me to stop if it's too much." His metal hand ran along her cheek. "I don't want to hurt you."_

 _"I know." She nodded, knowing to expect a little pain, Nat had told her about what to expect. "I trust you."_

Movement drew Isabelle out of her slumber, rolling back into her side she opened one eye to see him leaning against the wall watching her. He had a smirk on his face which made her blush, the way he even looked at her made her feel like she was exposed, able to hide nothing. She fluttered her eyes opened trying to wake herself up a little more.

"Your back." Isabelle groaned stretching in the bed. "What were you doing?"

"Watching you sleep, it's mesmerizing." He smirked moving closer to her and placing a kiss upon her lips.

"What was the meeting about?" Isabelle slowly sat up yawning trying to focus her head away from her new memories.

"It's better you don't know." His face paling and becoming stern and cold for a moment as he turned letting out a sigh.

She didn't fight him about this, she knew he would not tell her anything. He had probably been ordered not too. She watched him turn back to her moving closer before he sat down on the corner of her bed avoiding looking at her now. Guessing she presumed he was thinking about all he had been told and commanded to do.

"We will be moving in the next couple of days. I persuaded them to let me bring you with me to guarantee your safety." He finally muttered quietly looking to the floor. "We need to be careful, do as you say, you know that right. They can't have any reason to doubt you and your intentions. There is only so much I can protect you from. I just want to keep you safe."

Those last seven words made her heart melt. He just wanted to protect her, what ever the cost. She sat in the bed staring at him for a minute before answering him.

"I understand." Isabelle nodded moving out of the bed and picking up her clothes heading to the bathroom. "Can we keep training before we leave." Guessing they wouldn't get a chance again for a while if he was working.

"If you want." She heard his reply but his heart didn't sound fully committed. She sighed hating how negative he sounded, it worried her that obviously what ever the mission was bothered him and he couldn't tell her. "I will have to prepare but in between I am all yours."

After tiding herself up and dressing she moved out of the bedroom to see him still sitting on the bed. His expression looked tortured. Something was really bothering him, what ever they asked him to do it was not good.

"Come on some training might help distract you from your thoughts." Isabelle smiled trying to keep the worry from her voice.

She watch him slowly get up looking at her seriously, she saw the nod of agreement as his posture changed readying himself. Smiling at him she prepared herself for whatever he had for her.


	30. Chapter 30

Thanks to all the new followers, please let me know what you think. Once again apologies but there is some smut in this chapter. Enjoy! Ta.

* * *

After a few hours of practicing some simple strategic moves and combating each other Isabelle was exhausted. He has beaten her too many times to count and barely had worked up a sweat compared to her. Knowing she was distracted didn't help, she tried harder not to think about this mission he was going to be working but her mind racing about the next potential few hours. She couldn't help herself but it meant that she wasn't thinking a few steps ahead which made her sloppy when attacking or defending herself. She had no energy left as he grabbed her pulling her back against his chest, she went to move against him but his metal arm was not giving in. She mentally kicked herself for being so helpless against him. Her body relaxed against his, feeling her defeat, he kissed her bare neck.

Sighing she knew her had gotten weaker since her time being back there as a prisoner, she was tired all the time and the lack of proper food until now had taken its toll on her, she could feel her muscles protest when worked, her ribs and hip bones had become more prominent, her body had been starved. She guessed being a asset to HYDRA he was fed better than her at some point when he was away from the cell, he had lost no tone or weight since she had been a prisoner again. She knew she was only there to keep him in check, something to make sure he didn't fail again, they seemed to have no other plans for her.

She guessed this was there plan, keep her weak, at least then she couldn't cause them any problems. She knew compared to the soldier she was the weaker person, the least trained and therefore more defenceless than him. She pushed herself out of his hold feeling a sense of worry about this up coming mission he had, it was like she knew something bad was going to happen. If they even allowed her to come with them, meant it was going to take some time to complete. This also meant it was something big, something serious that was going on she didn't know anything about. She worried about the people she cared about, hoping non of this was going effect them. She ran her hand through her hair nervously, she felt him step behind her again.

"It will be okay Isabelle." She heard him say against her ear still taking hold of her in his arms, trying to offer some reassurance. "I will not let them hurt you."

She placed her arms over the top of his sighing as she leant back against his body. She knew that was a promise he would never be able to keep but he meant well only trying to reassure her but with all that had happened it wasn't that easy now. She guessed he had noticed her sloppiness during there combat session, she had been distracted and it definitely showed.

"We better shower?" Isabelle muttered as she smelt the sweat coming from them, trying to change the subject.

"We?" She could hear how unsure he was about the out come of her comment.

A small smile creeped onto her face and as she turned around in his arms taking his warm hand. She didn't know what the up coming days had for her but she just wanted to enjoy the time they had together now and not worry about the future. Glancing up at him she saw that twinkle in his eye, which made her insides clench. Moving out of his hold she took hold of his hand guiding him into the bathroom behind her.

Neither of them spoke as they stripped down separately, Isabelle was the first to step into the shower feeling the energy build within the room, she let the warmish water run over her body, her aching muscles relaxing under the cooling stream of water. She could sense him stepping behind her before feeling his hands on her shoulders running down to her arms. Slowly she turned around looking only at his face, she could see the intense raw feelings in his expression. Biting her lip, her hands ran along his pectoral muscles, feeling them tensing only proving the strength he had, hesitantly she stepped closer to him there bodies barely touching, almost feeling a static electricity sensation between them as their bodies were now so close to one another without any barriers of clothing.

Suddenly he scooped her up into his arms moving her backwards, pressing her back against the cold concrete wall as their mouths collided. She instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist and gripped hold of his shoulders. He kissed her feverously which she equally returned, freely allowing her emotions and need for him to show. Within seconds, he wasted no time burying himself deeply within her making her groan loudly from the exquisite feeling. He was completely in control of them as he slowly started moving within her in charge of their pace. Her muscles hurt from the further strain of holding herself up against him but at the same time it added to the pleasure she felt. She gasped pressing her mouth against his shoulder, pressing kisses into the skin. His thrusts were quicker and more forceful than previously making what she felt more intense. He then removed himself from her, sighing she felt a wave of disappointment from the lack of him, as he let her slip down to stand on the floor before pulling her out of the shower, quickly picking her up and carrying her back to their bed. They fell into bed together making her laugh for the first time in ages that she could recall, feeling overwhelmingly giddy. He started worshipping every inch of her body, she watch him follow his own map of her body, kissing every bit of exposed skin he could eventually returning his mouth to hers. Rolling them over so she was now on top, he eased himself back inside of her. Her head fell back as she felt him enter her when she looked back to him she could see he was watching her intensely a small smile upon his lips, she felt a wave of self consciousness spread over her and a slight blush forming on her cheeks just from his stare. His hands gently gripped hold of her slender hips encouraging her to move as he sat up, a moan escaped her lips before he kissed her as they moved together holding tightly onto each other. Isabelle could feel that warmth build within her again her tangling themselves within his long hair trying to pull him closer to her, his hands tightened onto her hips as she let out a strangled cry, her body convulsing around him as her orgasm hit her hard. He kept up their pace, guiding her body against his until he found his release collapsing back into the bed Isabelle securely within his arms.

Isabelle lay in bed thinking for a while, he had fallen fast asleep, she knew he needed it more than her at the moment. The shower itself only offered a temporary distraction, her mind drifted back to the way he touched her, like she was fragile. How their bodies fitted so perfectly together, how he managed to make her feel those raw emotions so easily.

She slowly sat up leaning against the wall as she glanced to him, he looked so peaceful as he slept. She knew however that he was a killing machine, she had no idea what his kill rate was or how he had killed people. She ran her hand through her damp hair knowing that this was more than she could possibly imagine. She could feel a wave of nausea as she thought about what he did. Climbing out of bed she managed to make the bathroom as she vomited, this nightmare was getting out of control.

Rinsing her mouth out she took a moment, she needed to be stronger than this, worrying about the what ifs were not going to make this any better. She knew she needed to keep her wits about her, this was going to possibly change everything. If he messed up again she knew what HYDRA were willing to do to punish him for that, bringing her along wasn't to keep the soldier happy, it was so they could use her to make sure he completed the job.

She suddenly heard groaning, she stood up straight unsure where the noise was coming from. She moved back into the bedroom she could see him writhing in bed, tossing and turning. He was having a nightmare or possibly a memory was returning. Hesitantly she touched his good arm, trying to get him to wake. She knew that he was going to be disorientated, so she had to tread carefully. Suddenly his eyes snapped open as he dived off the bed, his metal arm striking her neck as they both collided with the concrete floor.

Isabelle vision went fuzzy as her head pounded from the pain of the blow she had received from hitting the floor, she managed to focus on him to see that he was still holding her down, breathing heavily, staring at her with a blank expression. She tried shifting but he had her completely pinned down. She let out a slow breath trying to work out what exactly she needed to do to make this situation better.

"Its me, its okay, we are safe." She whispered trying to reassure him and her.

She watched him as he seemed to assess the situation, slowly his hand pulled away from her neck as a horrified look appeared on his face. He quickly got off of her before scooping her up into his arms and laying her down on the bed. She moved placing a hand on the back of her head feeling a lump forming.

"Are you okay?" He asked keeping his distance from her.

"Fine nothing happened." She lied knowing the truth would upset him further. She moved back into a sitting up position, her head really hurt but she could push past it, she had no other choice. "What were you dreaming about?"

She could see he was surprised by that question, she waited patiently for his reply, he paced back and forth thinking about what he had obviously dreamt about. She wondered if it was really as bad as the hundreds of possibilities she had in her head.

"I don't want you to think differently of me." He finally said shaking his head avoiding looking at her. "I am not proud of what I have done."

"Its okay." Isabelle muttered pulling her knees up to her chest.

"I have been involved in a lot of things Isabelle that you wouldn't understand or like." He finally looked up at her, his blue eyes meeting her stare. "I don't want you knowing about anything I do for them."

"I do though." Isabelle shrugged knowing he was only trying to protect her further but protecting her from the obvious wasn't that easy. "I am here, I can see and I can work out what is happening."

"This barely scratches the surface Isabelle." He moved closer, his eyes becoming serious as he continued. "HYDRA is involved in more than you can ever know. HYDRA has controlled decisions that could have affected this world for decades now."

"Decades?" Isabelle cocked her head wondering how the hell no one knew about this organisation if they had been around for that long.

"I have said to much." He shook his head again looking away from her. "Its better that you don't know Isabelle, for your own safety."

She guessed that was the matter now closed whether she wanted to continue or not. She watch him as he pulled on his uniform before tapping the door and leaving her alone. She didn't want him to go but she guessed he needed the space to think and if he was about to start his next mission he needed to be in a better place in his mind.


	31. Chapter 31

They were eventually collected, she did as she was told to the letter, not wanting to cause any problems or suspicions. She willingly allowed them to cuff her, even though he her soldier insisted it was him who actually did it, she appreciated the simple gesture, it made her feel slightly safer that it was him doing it rather than some guard. She watched as he wrapped the cold metal around her wrists locking them into place, she could tell he was not happy about it but it wasn't like he had much of a choice either. She just looked up at him to see that cold look of the assassin returning, he was now there soldier back on the job. She let them test the restraints, not moving unless she was specifically told too. She was not going to give them any reason not to trust her or punish them. They were marched into a unmarked container where there were half a dozen armed men waiting for them. She was sat in the middle of the guards, they connected her cuffs to a chain coming from the floor. She guessed this was them showing her there was no escape even when traveling. Isabelle could feel her nerves get the better of her, the unknown scaring her slightly. Glancing to her soldier she could see his eyes were firmly fixed on her, his whole body tense. She knew this was either going to go well or very very badly. She locking mechanism of the container sounded, she could feel it then shift unevenly, like they were being craned or fork lifted into their mode of transport. She looked down wondering if she had been through something like this before or was this her first time traveling with them, regardless they seemed to have this completely planned.

No one spoke the entire journey, she didn't even feel comfortable to move, trying to say firmly in the one position, not wanting the guards to react to the slightest of her movements. She could feel her heart in her throat the whole journey which seemed to last forever, from what she could tell the container was shifted into several different types of transport but she wouldn't have been able to tell exactly what. She didn't not know where they were traveling from or to, which meant she did not know how long this journey would last. Neither of them rested as they travelled both seemed to on edge to do anything, occasionally she would glance around the room looking at the guards who all seemed ready to use their weapons if required. She felt a moment of relief as the truck stopped and the doors opened hoping that this nightmare was over. Only to have that snatched away as fresh new guards entered relieving the on duty ones, obviously giving each other a break. She glanced to her soldier, his blank expression said it all. They were in here for the long haul. She guessed this was not the first time he had done this at least, she thought about what he must have been through, considering how they had used him.

Eventually Isabelle allowed herself to relax slightly, her head was resting against the metal side as she could feel her body begin to protest. She was having a hard time keeping awake now, she had no idea how long they had even been travelling. Her body had become to ache, she was out of energy, her head hurt, she was completely exhausted. She knew if she just closed her eyes for a moment it would be a moment too long. Whatever they were traveling on had seemed to slow again, there was a sudden jerk which made her raise her weary head. Lowering her head and marginally lifting her cuffed hands she rubbed her eyes trying to wake herself. The doors opened, one guard slowly released the chains which held her in place before indicating for them to leave, their guns all pointing at the pair of them. They had given them no reason for this sort of reaction making her wonder why they were so on guard. They both moved out of the container, into a solid concrete bunker of some sorts, there was nothing which gave their location away. Isabelle couldn't even identify where the hell they were, it all kind of looked the same as the previous base. Her tired body limped down the corridor, she stumbled a couple of times before her soldier scooped her up into his arms. Her body curled against his as she welcomed his hold, her body finding relief from his. She was tired, more than tired, she was now completely drained, it had been ages since her last proper meal and the lack of sleep it was taking it toll. Her head rested against his chest as she felt him move with ease while carrying her. She heard a metal door swing open as the soldier walked in, stopping, a guard released the handcuffs binding her wrists before leaving them shutting the door and a distinctive sound of a lock following.

Her soldier seemed to sense her need for sleep as he carried her to the make do bed within the cell, laying her down gently. It wasn't comfortable but she did not care, he moved beside her wrapping his arms around her. She welcomed his hold right now, she needed it, she sighed closing her eyes finally, beginning to drift.

"I won't be here when you wake." He whispered against her ear which brought her back into the room with him.

"Where are you going?" Isabelle muttered groggily yawning as sleep began to take her.

"I have to work, I will be back soon I promise." He kissed her neck pulling her closer to him. "Sleep." Feeling him pepper kisses along her neck Isabelle sighed as her body relaxed sleep finally taking over.

 _Isabelle stood in front of him, staring, her mouth lax as she took in the sight before her. He stood there staring back at her his body still tense from whatever job he had been on. It was the red liquid that slowly dribbled downwards, large drips falling from his hands that alarmed her. It wasn't his, that was for sure, there wasn't a mark on him which could explain it. That had to mean it was some one else's blood on him, if they were alive now it would be a miracle. The memories of him as a enemy came back, he had once scared the hell out of her, it was like a distant nightmare now but this brought it back like a slap in the face. She was froze, the state he was in, she could only let her imagination run wild. He slowly stepped closer to her, she stepped back still horrified._

 _"What did you do?" Isabelle finally asked her tone full of panic as her words trembled. She could feel herself shake at the multiple thoughts passed through her mind. She could feel the shock try and take over but she didn't quite understand what was happening._

 _"Isabelle." He said calmly trying to get closer to her._

 _"Why are you covered in blood?" Isabelle said a little more firmly her whole body shaking._

 _"It's alright, it was just a mission." He answered shaking his head however she could see how his face paled. "It got out of hand."_

 _"Out of hand." Isabelle felt herself scream as her fear and shock finally took over. "Your covered in blood. Some one else's blood. You hurt and by the look of it killed some one. How is that alright?"_

 _She could see how he looked, he was no even going to deny it. Isabelle moved further away from him, her heart pounding painfully in her chest, she felt her chest tighten as it became harder to breath. She knew what he was, he was an assassin but she had been naïve enough not to think about what that meant. She wrapped her arms around herself trying to process what had just happened. She knew Natasha was an assassin too, but this was different Nat and her brother did what they did to protect the world. What was he doing this for._

 _"Isabelle." She heard him whisper_

 _"Just give me some time." Isabelle replied not looking at him closing her eyes as she felt a tear fall down her cheek. Her soldier, her knight in shining armour was the man she really knew, he was something else, something possibly bad._

 _She heard the movement of clothing and the drips of water. She couldn't look at him, she felt the tears flow freely now. She has been stupid not to realise what he actually was. It was obvious after the beatings he had given her of what he was capable of._

 _"Isabelle." She heard her name again this time feeling his arms wrap around her. She froze for a moment before relaxing knowing he would not hurt her, she looked down seeing that the blood was now gone. "I do this for the greater good, the people I am asked to go after are dangerous."_

 _Isabelle could hear the rehearsed words clearly, they weren't his own, if he believed that then he believe that all of this was not wrong. She didn't know how to respond to what he said. She didn't want to argue with him, he was the only good thing to come from all this chaos._

 _"After all they have done to you and me, you still say your work for these monsters is for good." Her answer made his grip around her loosening. "They are the ones trying to create the monsters. What they have done to us you can't say it was for the good of the world, it is so they can control it, take people's freedom away or remove the people who may stand up to them."_

 _"They do what they do including my missions to shape the world, to get rid of the chaos and lies. I do this for us, for you, to keep you safe."_

 _She closed her eyes knowing that she was not going to change his mind over this. They had control completely over him. She had just not seen it before, it was what they had once wanted from her. She could understand that he was protecting her but this was more than that. She looked up at him for the first time, she saw the blood was completely gone, no trace of evidence that it ever happened on his skin. She could see the helpless look on his face. She still loved him, it was not his fault that he was under the control of mad men._


	32. Chapter 32

When she woke, she felt her head pound, she had been so naïve back then believing that love would make everything better. It didn't, if anything it made things more complicated. She thought about what she had seen, however she knew now what HYDRA were capable of better than anyone except her soldier. Even after all he had been through and seen he was still loyal to HYDRA, perhaps loyal was not the right word but they had forced that upon him. Through their torture and mind games, he had been made into the perfect weapon, doing what ever they said.

She heard the door slam open, sitting up looking to the door seeing that their were armed guards standing there. Part of her hoped that it was her soldier returning, she sat up properly, moving her feet off the bed waiting to see what they wanted. Glancing back to the guard not knowing what to do, she watched Rollins walk into the room, she waited avoiding eye contact not moving, she did not want to give them any reason attack her.

"Pierce wants to see you now." Rollins growled chucking some reinforced handcuffs at her. The clang of the metal on the floor made her look at the cuffs at her feet back to Rollins.

"Why?" Isabelle frowned not trusting the motives behind it.

"No questions. Put them on, Move." Rollins sounded pissed.

She nodded knowing that it wasn't worth having a bullet in her over a question. Slowly picking up the cuffs she placed the cuffs on herself knowing the only person who could give her actual answers was Pierce. Not really sure what he wanted to see her about, she clicked the cuffs into place as she stood up waiting for their next instruction as a obedient captive. Being surrounded by the guards she moved with them, down numerous corridors till she walked into another room.

"Miss Barton." Pierce looked up at her from behind a desk, a folder opened on it which he closed immediately upon her entering the room. She stopped in front of the desk not moving, some of the guards stepped out while some stayed. She waited for him to say something more before she spoke up. "Thank you for joining me." He added smiling.

"Why am I here now?" Isabelle scowled at him wanting to cross her arms making herself look bigger but the pull of the cuffs stopped her. She had so many questions for him right now, she guessed she was at least owed some answers. "What do you want with me?"

"After we heard you were remembering we couldn't have you telling Rogers or SHIELD about us. We had to act before you potentially spoiled it all. I did consider killing you, it would have been easier but then using you to make sure our asset did as he was told seemed a better plan." Pierce answered smiling at her standing up and moved around the table. "Not that it matters, SHIELD won't be around much longer, a new order is coming to the world, HYDRA is about to bring control to this chaos. Our plans are almost complete as long as he does the job like commanded."

"What are you doing?" Isabelle looked at him a sickening feeling coming to her stomach. She guessed what ever has been planned was for all of SHIELD which would include people she love.

"That is none of your concern, what you need to be worried about is if our asset completes the mission we have asked him too." Pierce stepped closer to her, close enough to touch but he didn't lay a finger on her. Instead he made eye contact with her, she felt a shiver pass through her. "You could have been great Isabelle, better than him, a perfect soldier." He paused staring at her a smile appearing which made her nervous. "However you're our hold over him now, he will do what ever it takes to keep you safe."

"I am not going to make him do anything." She shook her head knowing she did not want to be the reason some one she loved was killing. She was not going to have that on her conscious.

"You don't need too, the fear is there from the last time he failed." Pierce drawled moving towards her. "He will do anything to keep you safe."

"Then why bring me here to tell me what I already know?" Isabelle hissed getting frustrated. She could see the corner of Pierces lip curl upwards. Isabelle paused for a moment looking at the man before her. "What has happen?" She guessed there was a alternative motive for bringing her here.

"He has already failed the first part of his mission. Not that he can't fix that problem or is at least in the process of doing so." Pierce replied turning his back to her. Isabelle just wished now she was alone in the room with him. She glanced at the other men in the room, all armed. "But we need to make sure he is aware that his mistakes have consequences."

"Consequences?" Isabelle muttered feeling suddenly anxious, the hairs on her skin instantly raised.

A hard object struck the side of her head sending her to the floor. She fell onto her knees looking up she saw both Rollins and Rumlow holding weapons while Pierce just causally watched.

"You know you will only make him turn against you." Isabelle mumbled shaking her head trying to stop the pain. "He will hate what you are doing more than he does already."

"No it will make sure he is determined to complete his mission. If not we will kill you, let him know that." Pierce answered turning to Rumlow. "Send him a clear message. Beat her till its visible, send her back to the cell, I have better show my face before the news breaks." She watched as Pierce leave the room.

Isabelle knew what was to come, she slowly pushed herself to her feet not having enough to time till a current of electricity shot through her. She let out a scream collapsing as her body convulsed. There were a few kicks and blows from the weapons they had in hand. It was relatively quick, other armed guards appeared making her move back to the cell. She limped her way back knowing the pain was only temporary. Once back in the room she collapsed on the bunk, her body hurting. She heard keys dropped on the floor but not bothering to look she guessed they were for the cuffs. She had no energy left to move to get them, closing her eyes, her broken but healing body used what ever she had left to mend itself.

"Isabelle." She heard a voice gently wake her as she groaned her body aching. "Isabelle what happened?"

Slowly she opened her eyes firstly noticing her hands were free from the cuffs secondly he was back a black paint across his eyes but it was him. Her soldier, her protecter, he was back and now she was safe.

"Your back." She sighed feeling her body relax in his arms, she felt that returning feeling of security from being around him.

"What happened?" He repeated his voice getting deeper and serious.

"They beat me." She replied pushing herself up with his help so she was now just sitting on his lap, the pain slowly fading but God knew what she looked like. "You had failed part of your mission, having to clean up your mistake, they wanted to let you know what happened when you failed." She glanced to him seeing his facial features drop in horror. "If you don't do what they tell you too." She paused looking at him, her eyes meeting his, she knew he understood where she was going.

The silence was just as bad as the pain, she needed to clean herself up the dry blood against her skin was irritating her. She hesitantly got to her feet, testing her steadiness before making her way to the bathroom. Stripping down she glanced at the mirror seeing she was all different shades of colours, her bruising and cuts prominent. She didn't know how long it had been since the incident and that she was unconscious but her body was taking its sweet time on healing which was not a good sign at all. Turning the shower on she stepped into the warm water yelping slightly as the cuts on her body stung. She tried her best to clean all her body but it hurt too much to bend and stretch.

"Do you want some help?" He asked quietly obviously checking how she was doing.

"Please." She sighed defeated by her own body.

It only took him a couple of moments to join her, she felt his hands gently touch her sides running them down her body. He was thorough and thoughtful. His hands skirted around certain areas she guessed to not give her the wrong idea. Slowly she turned pressing herself against him, she could feel his erection against her belly. Looking up at him, she hadn't wanted him any more than right now. The black paint was running down his face, his long hair stuck to part of his face and the silver metal which was part of him sparkled as droplets of water ran down it. Slowly she cupped his face going onto tip toes before placing a kiss against his lips, he didn't respond at first, his hands freezing on the dip of her back.

"Isabelle your hurt." He whispered pulling back gently.

She smiled about his concerned but continued to place kisses around and on his lips. She needed him right now, she needed to feel some one love her. She wanted the warmth and comfort it brought her. Pressing herself against him, her lips making contact with his shoulder. Her hands pulling at the muscles on his back, nails scraping across his skin, she could tell her effort was working, her lips ran up his neck as she rose onto the tip of her toes.

Without warning he shoved her back against the stone wall, using his own body to sandwich her against it. The pain from her injuries didn't bother her, she just needed him here right now. She wrapped her arms around his solid neck as he pulled her legs up forcing them to wrap around him. She felt his erection graze against her, groaning in anticipation she felt him thrust into her. She cried out, her head falling back with the sudden fullness. His grip against her skin caused pain over the bruised areas but she didn't care. The movement, the friction between them felt exquisite. His lips moved across her collar bone, following the trail of the cold running water to her lips.

"It's cold" he grunted

"Please don't stop." She pleaded looking to him, there eyes making contact, showing each other just how much the other meant to them.

He continued his rhythmic thrust pushing her closer to a release. Wrapping her arms around his neck Isabelle kissed him, holding onto him tightly. Her orgasm then hit her, the intensity making her arms tighten around him. His movements became quicker as she cried out, pressing her head into the crook of his neck. He finally pushed her further against the wall, crushing her between it and him as she felt him have his release. Both of them panted against one another. Isabelle clung onto him, not wanting to let go, the pain and fear that was within her returning slowly after her brief moment of distraction. She knew what ever they had planned was not over yet, he would soon leave her again and if he was to make another mistake, God only knew what would happen to her


	33. Chapter 33

"We need to get out of the cold." He whispered, gently brushing her hair off her face, still slightly short of breath.

She hadn't realised how cold it was, gently he pulled back letting her feet ease to the floor. She didn't want to be away from him, that safe feeling almost going the further away he was. He turned the water off picking up some towels and passing one to her. Only when she took it did she see the blue shade her trembling fingers were. She pulled the towel around herself, feeling her body tremble from the cold.

"I come on let's get warm." He wrapped another towel gently around her like she would break from any stronger of touch.

After placing a towel around his own waist he pulled her out of the bathroom and into there less than comfortable bed. He pulled her up against his warmer body, pulling the blankets around both of them. She lay against his skin, enjoying how safe she felt around him. Resting her head on his chest she listened to the beat of his heart. Finding herself finally relax against him, her body pressed against his there legs entwined. She felt his hand gently run up and down her arm which was draped across him. While his cool arm was wrapped around her protectively.

"I won't fail again Isabelle." He told her firmly after a few moments silence his voice quiet.

Isabelle closed her eyes feeling hopeless. She had hoped that him knowing everything would have changed his mind for working for them like this any longer. That they could have planned to get away from this hell. She knew now that they had they still had control over him and she wished she knew how.

"You can't make that type of promise, they are in control." She muttered, it was the truth whether she liked it or not!

Her thought drifted to what her life use to be like, away from this, the hell she was currently living in. She was never going to see her brother, Nat, Steve or any one else she had cared about again at this rate. It wasn't like she was going to slot back into society easily after this any way. Then there was him, if they were to escape, if they were to get away from this torture. How would they ever be able to get on in the real world. She guessed with him working for HYDRA how the hell would any of her friends or family accept him. They would have to be on the run for the rest of both there life's, it would be the only way to secure their safety.

"What are you thinking Isabelle?" He asked gently as his hand ran through her hair.

"If only we could get out of here." Isabelle muttered while wrapped up in his arms along with the blankets, she moved so she could see his face. Watching his expression with interest. She wondered if he had ever thought about what else was out there. Neither of them had talked about it before. She guessed it was because it was in likely to ever happen but she needed something to hold onto right now. "Get away from this type of life, to be free."

"Isabelle what we are doing its for the best, eventually there will order in this chaos."

"That's HYDRA's words not yours." Isabelle frowned looking at him feeling herself tense up. She knew she needed to say it as it was. She knew the endless brain washing and wiping memory would not make him see clear. It was her job to do that. "Have you seen what they have done too us, they have destroyed our life's. Think of the millions of people they will end up killing, torturing or worse. People would only live in the constant torture and fear we are living in now." She paused knowing that he was their brain washed assassin. That this would be harder to get through to him than words alone. "Is really how they treated us for the best forget everyone else, just think about us."

She could see him think about what she had just told him. She relaxed herself back beside him. She couldn't help think that they were on different sides. He believed in HYDRA and she didn't. However she had fallen for this soldier, protector and the only person who understood what it was like to be tortured or having your memory wiped. She closed her eyes feeling more hope being sucked from her. She was already running on empty, she had no energy, the lack of food would do that to any one and it was so bad her body was now healing like a regular person.

"Where would we go?" He said quietly, she could tell he was only trying to break the silence and his heart wasn't truly in it. She kind of appreciated him at least asking more about it. She felt his hand run up and down her arm. "What would we do?"

"I don't know but we could go some where quiet, away from all of this, perhaps away in the countryside far from other people" She sighed snuggling closer to him. Her mind drifting to the happier place inside her. Trying to think of something which would make it real for them, something to dream about even. "Some where we could not be bothered by any one and get on with our life's together. Only us, we could do what ever we like, stay in bed all day or go for walks in the sunshine. I miss laying in the sun, feeling the warmth on my skin. I will have to work so we had some money I suppose , I mean I have no idea what qualifications you have apart from assassin. But it would be a lot simpler than this. We wouldn't have a worry in the world."

"Together." He kissed the top of her head.

"Yeah." She looked up to him. "Always."

He leant down and kissed her gently, she sighed against it knowing it was only a dream unlikely to ever happen. She rested her head on his chest closing her eyes imagining the happier scene even with the lack of hope she had, it was better than nothing.

Isabelle opened her eyes feeling sleepy, there was movement in the room. Her hand went instinctively to where he would be but the bed was empty. She sat up looking around the dark room. Her heart rate had spiked, something was within the darkness her senses were screaming it.

"It's only me." His smooth voice said as he came to sit on the edge of the bed taking hold of her hand placing a gentle kiss against her skin.

"What's happening?" Isabelle rubbed her face trying to wake herself.

"I have to go back to work." His told her seriously, his posture stiff. She tried to sit up, however her body painfully ached.

"Please." She whispered feeling weaker than ever for admitting this but she needed him right now. She needed to know he would stay for her. "Don't go. Stay with me. We can always find a way out of this. Get out of here."

A moment passed of silenced, he moved forward cupping her face in his hands and kissed her softly on the lips. She could feel the a lone tear roll over her cheek as he kissed her, knowing that HYDRA's hold over him was stronger than she could ever understand. He sighed against her lips before replying.

"I have to go, to do what's right and to protect you." He muttered "To give us a future together."

She felt her heart break slightly as she realised all he was still a believer in what crap HYDRA was feeding him after all he had seen. She had been beaten by them and still he continued to work for them. She realised that she was well and truly a pawn on the chess board. She didn't know what else would make him see the truth about the organisation she worked for. But this was never going to give them a future together. He kissed her once more before getting up and leaving, Isabelle wrapped the blankets around her curling up in bed. They had broken her completely, not only they had control over him because of her but it was the other way around. She would do anything to protect him if she could.


	34. Chapter 34

Time passed slower than before once she had woken up, the wait was excruciating and her mind was racing. Her thoughts seemed to be all over the place, so much had been done now, she couldn't keep up. Then there was whether he had completed the mission saving her from a minimum of a beating. What his mission involved from what she knew HYDRAs plan was to destroy SHIELD but that could mean the same for nearly every one she cared about. If they would ever get away from this hell, she knew that was unlikely but that was the only thing which seemed to keep her going at the moment. Wrapping her arms around herself she paced the room feeling completely hopeless. There was nothing she could do right now which could help any one. She stared at the door, her soldier believed in what he was doing. He would never escape with her, he wouldn't leave. She had fallen in love and now that was all that was holding her here. He was being controlled partly because of her and it was the same with her now. HYDRA were using them against each other. She collapsed back in the bed trying to relax but it was useless, no rest would come not till he returned any way.

Guards came to collect her, she moved slowly wondering if she was about to receive another beating. She entered a room where a make shift lab had been set up. Like the good patient she was she sat down in the chair, she felt weak and knew that if she was to fight now it would probably kill her. The scientists did what they usually did taking blood running body scans, however this time it was different. Their seemed to be a lot of whispering and talking amongst each other which had never really happened previously.

"Are you hungry?" A woman kindly asked

Isabelle stared at the woman with surprise, she hand't been asked anything recently, just told what to do or say. Hesitating for a moment Isabelle just stared at the woman before nodding, her stomach clenched in anticipation of food. A few moments later a person returned with food, they uncuffed her hands from the chair, although they were still cuffed together, it allowed her to eat. She was starving, it had been a while since her last meal and then the beating had drained her body of little energy she had left. She devoured the meal, knowing that she had little choice in what she needed right now and food was definitely one thing she needed. She was just finishing off the water when the doors opened again, this time Pierce entered the room, a scientist went over whispering into his ear. Isabelle suddenly felt her heart sink, was this her last meal or something perhaps worse. It hadn't felt right to begin with but now something was definitely wrong.

"My congratulations Miss Barton." Pierce walked up to her.

"Excuse me, but am I missing something?" She frowned staring at him as a sickening feeling flowed within her.

"Not at all, I have just been informed your Pregnant." Pierce announced.

Isabelle's heart dropped, she stared open mouthed at him, she knew how it happened but she never expected. There was a sinking feeling, her chest tightened as the panic set in. Though now she thought of it, this now seemed to make sense, keeping her and the soldier together, the regular tests they ran on her.

"This was what you wanted?" Isabelle muttered looking at him as worry consumed her.

"With yours and the assets genetics, this child is bound to be gifted and easier to educate in our ways, make sure that it understands it's purpose."

"This is what you planned." Isabelle shook her head in disbelief of what she was being told.

"Indeed, you have suddenly become more valuable to us Miss Barton. Make sure it stays that way." He glanced down at her. "Otherwise things could change for the worst for you."

Isabelle closed her eyes trying to think about what had been said, she was pregnant and they were planning to use her child for their cause. Isabelle got escorted back to her cell. She sat down on the bunk trying to think over what had been said, she placed a hand over her stomach.

Her soldier wanted to protect her, more than anything, what would he do if he now knew there was a child involved. Maybe, just perhaps this was enough to make him see sense on how they were being used and needed to escape this hell. She let out a sigh, tears forming in her eyes this was more messed up than she ever thought it could get.  
The door slammed open making her wipe away the tears immediately, as he walked through the door her heart skipped that he had returned to her safely. His head however hung low, he didn't look at her but she guessed he was still in the zone of the soldier. Isabelle slowly sat up assessing his behaviour. Something was wrong, something bad had happened.

"Your back." Isabelle smiled weakly climbing out of the make do bed in there metal cell, hoping that it would bring him back to her.

She watched at Rumlow closed the door with smirk on his face which she did not like at all. Isabelle scowled back at Rumlow. Absolutely hating the way he had control over the pair of them and only hoping they hadn't told him about the new situation between them, as the door clicked shut she turned her attention to her soldier. He took off his leather jacket and threw it in rage across the room, just passing her, so it landed on the cotbed. Isabelle hadn't seen him like this, he was angry, frustrated and possibly a little scared. She slowly got closer to him, waiting for him to acknowledge her before doing anything.

"God." Isabelle cursed looking at him as he stripped out of his vest. The bruising was horrific. He was black and blue, it was the first time she had ever seen him properly hurt. He suddenly seemed so much more human to her, up till now he had seemed to be untouchable, his obvious target knew how to handle themselves. Isabelle touched his side gently in disbelieve. "How did this happen?"

"It's fine." He muttered coldly grabbing her hand and moving it away. She snatched her hand back to see there was blood on it. She stared at her hand for a moment, this was not good at all. She could understand his behaviour now. He was badly hurt and that could only mean one thing, that his mission had not gone well. She just looked at him knowing this was far from fine.

"Your hurt." She whispered softly asking his permission. "let me help you, please."

Slowly he nodded sitting down on the cotbed. Neither of them spoke as she bandaged up his hand. It had been lacerated across the palm, she knew within the hour or so it would be fully healed, just like with her. She was scared now, seeing him so shaken and actually hurt, it wasn't something she ever thought he would see. Isabelle placed her hand on a bruise that was under his ribs feeling the heat come from it. It was already a nasty shade of purple, what ever had hit him,it did it with force. Whoever he was after were just as deadly as he was. Examining him further she saw there was even damage to his metal arm, there was a burnt area and physical damage to the mechanics of it. Whatever he had been made to do he had had a complete beating. Trying to hide her shock from him, she examined the rest of the bruises and grazes on his skin. She felt a huge surge of guilt, pass through her. She knew it was not fine, this was the first time he had come back physically hurt and it was all down to blackmail now. He was just protecting her, what if they started using the child growing within her to push him further, he could die trying to keep them safe. She closed her eyes feeling ever so slightly more hopeless, this was going to be a never ending nightmare.

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" Isabelle asked moving around to kneel in front of him but he wouldn't look at her. She placed her hands on his thighs try to reassure him. "Tell me." Isabelle used a little more of a authoritative tone. She needed to know what they had him do, to understand what they were doing.  
Finally he looked at her and she saw it in his eyes he looked lost. She couldn't help but fling her arms around his neck to reassure him that she was here. It took a couple of minutes for him to return the hug. His strong arms wrapping around her tightly, she knew then this was bad.

"Tell me when your ready." She whispered not wanting to push him too much but she needed to know. "you don't have to do this completely alone. I am here."

"I didn't complete the mission." He replied pulling back and looking guilty at her. "I am sorry Isabelle."

Isabelle felt fear that lingered within her suddenly grow, her grip tightened on his shoulders. He wasn't to blame, he had obviously tried his hardest which could have ended with him getting killed by the look of things. She went back to holding him in her arms, she didn't know what to really say.

"It will be fine." She told him knowing that was not true if HYDRA had their way, perhaps now she was with child but then again they hadn't made her intentions clear. She needed to lie to protect him now, he was in no frame of mind to think about anything more especially about their pregnancy.

"I am so sorry." He apologise the guilt resonated through his voice. "I tried, it was different, I knew him."

"The person you were after?" She asked pulling back, watching as he nodded. "Knew him how?" Isabelle frowned confused with what had happened, this was the first time he had mentioned anything about knowing some one outside of this living hell. From what she recalled he had never mentioned about knowing any one out side of this.

"He was a level six target I had to." He paused staring at her, she knew immediately what he had to do.

"Kill." She filled the silence in.

"Stop." He corrected her but she guessed that was just the nicer way of what she said. "I just have this feeling I know him and he seemed to recognise me. He even called me a name, it felt so familiar. He knew me, more that what I know, but he did."

"Who was he?" Isabelle stared at him trying to get a better picture of what happened.

"I don't know Isabelle, I am just told who to go after, they don't give me details." He ran his hand through his hair in frustration. "I don't actually remember him but I just have this feeling within Isabelle. Like I should know him, like we had a past together."

She sighed remembering how frustration use to feel when trying to remain memories especially when there was that feeling that you recognised something or someone. She knew his mind had been wiped like hers but if this was some one from his past that was good. If he said he knew that person then his memories were returning like hers.

"Give it time. Don't force it." She reassured him hugging him again. "It will come to you."

He nodded, she touched his stubbly cheek running her thumb over it before leaning in and kissing him gently on the lips. He returned the kiss his hands gripping hold of her head pulling her closer to him.

"We need to leave." She sighed against his lips. "I know you have tried and you would always try to protect me however this should prove you can't protect me from them. Can't you see that this would be it, our life's living in fear. We can go, leave and hide, we could have a different life together."

"Isabelle." He shook his head.

"Please, what do you think they will do now to me, now you failed this?" Isabelle mumbled hating she had to push that button to get him to listen. However it was the only way for them to escape.

"I know," he closed his eyes.

"Know?" She looked at him surprised.

"I need to free you to keep you safe." He glanced at her worry plastered across his face.

"Why does that sound like we will part ways." Isabelle stared at him feeling her heart hammer in her chest.

"Because you are not safe around me." He stared at her seriously. "We cannot be together outside of here, they will come for us together, apart you have a better change to escape them. You deserve more than this, more than me but for some one else to give you the life you deserve."

"My family and friends they could help." Isabelle argued.

"No." He shook his head. "I love you Isabelle always have and always will but that's not enough any more. Promise me if you get a chance, live it."

Isabelle felt tears roll down her cheek, she stared at him as he gently kissed her, she leant into his hold not wanting it to end. The interruption of the cell door opening interrupted the moment as arm guards entered along with Rumlow and Rollins.

"How sweet." Rumlow drawled staring at the pair of them "Both of you with us now."

Isabelle took hold of her soldiers hand letting him lead the way, sticking close to his side. Her mind was still racing from what he had just told her. Perhaps this was the start of some thing new within him. Maybe now they could actually consider escaping together, having a life away from HYDRA. She followed him into a large vault. It was a safety deposit box vault, they were in a bank of some sort possibly. Feeling his grip tighten on her hand she noticed the chair in the centre of the room. She remembered it as the one which they had strapped her in all those years ago when she lost all her memories. A tremble ran through her body as she remember how painful the process was. Isabelle stood beside him holding onto his hand for dear life, it was the first time she was involved in a meeting with him. Which she suspected wasn't a good thing at all.

"We need to do repairs." A man in a white lab coat said.

Neither of them moved, the scientist went to touch him. It happened quickly his metal arm lashed out sending the scientist flying across the room. Isabelle gasped out of shock, she didn't expect him to use violence so quickly. Her body though automatically got into a defensive stance that she had been taught. The click of multiple weapons which were now pointing at them made her aware how out numbered they were. This was not a fight she expected either of them to get out alive.

"Stand down." A firm familiar voice said.

The line of guards parted making Isabelle relax ever so slightly as there weapons lowered, Alexandra pierce walked through the guards, standing in front of them. Isabelle stared at him as he assessed the pair of them. He turned standing in front of her soldier who stared blankly in front of him.

"Mission report." Pierce ordered but her soldier, their asset never replied. She watched as Pierce slapped him across the face "mission report." Pierce repeated sternly.

"The man on the bridge who was he, I knew him." Her soldier answered his voice quavering, he sounded so lost. Isabelle squeezed his hand knowing that he needed all the support he could get.

"Yes you've met him on a previous mission earlier in the week." Pierce replied neutrally.

"No, I knew him." He shook his head his eyes narrowing at Pierce.

Glancing around the room she counted over a dozen heavily armed men. She knew this was not just pleasantries this was something serious. She looked back down to the floor not wanting to draw attention to her looking. She had no idea how they could get out of this. There would be causalities what ever they did.

"Your work has been a gift to man kind. You have shaped the century and I need you to do it one more time. Society is at a tipping point and tomorrow we are going to give it a final push. But if you don't do your part, I can't do mine and HYDRA can't give the world the freedom it's looking for."

Isabelle couldn't help but scoff at the crap Pierce was saying, freedom yeah like this was freedom. She heard a click of a rifle which was now pointing at her head. Glancing up her eyes narrowed at Rollins who's barrel of his rifle was close to her face. She guessed it was a bad choice to laugh on her behalf, She looked to Pierce to see him staring at her.

"Have you got something to say Miss Barton?" He added.

"Not at all I think you have said all the crap needed." Isabelle replied feeling a little braver with her solider standing beside her than she did alone. She was a dead man after all, he failed a mission, she was going to get punished, what harm was there in speaking her mind now. "I am not going to waste my breath on a delusional madman. I hope SHIELD defeat you."

"You will understand the way things work here Miss Barton." Pierce stepped closer to her. "The privileges he has earned for you can be stripped easily. You will find HYDRAs way is easy to learn, control is everything and punishment will come to the disobedient." Pierce turned looking to one of the scientists. "Prep him."

"Sir he this is the longest he has ever been out of Cryo." The scientist muttered nervously.

"Fine wipe him first then prep." Pierce waved his hand moving away from them.

Isabelle knew exactly what that meant, she stood beside him her eyes meeting his seeing fear for the first time. He grabbed hold of her pressing his forehead against hers. She could feel her heart rate and adrenaline spike. She was just as scared as he was.

"I won't forget you." He said, it sounded more like a plea than a promise.

"That's enough good byes," Rumlow hissed stepping forwards with his rifled aimed at them.

She felt another pair of arms around her as she was yanked away from him. It didn't take much to loose the grip of her attacker and knocking him unconscious to the floor. She stood there waiting for the next move seeing that he had the same idea about launching there own attack. One other guard lunged for her but she ducked as his missed her, allowing her a well aimed punch to the ribs and then the crotch. He fell to the floor as another guard started a attack. She moved quickly around him throwing a few punches and kicks. Her body protested, it was weak, still healing from her beating. Her muscles ached from the lack of energy. She realised why the had hardly fed her, they wanted her weak so she was easy to control. She disabled the one guard only to have another guard start. She was tired now she was getting hit a couple more times than she would like. A butt of a rifle suddenly knocked to her to the floor before the barrel was pointed in her face. She could see Rollins smirking at her from the other side of the rifle looking pleased with himself.

"Stop." Pierce shouted

Isabelle could see her solider looking helpless while he restrained another guard, she was screwed if Rollins pulled the trigger. She slowed her breathing staring into his blue eyes as he released the guard he had locked in his arms.

"Move to the chair and she won't be killed." Pierce told him.

Without any thought he moved sitting in the chair, Isabelle watched as the metal restraints clicked into place locking him in. This was not what she wanted, for him to be under control because all he wanted to do was protect her. His face completely expressionless, she felt her heart being ripped from her. They were going to wipe his memories, their memories from him completely.

"Get her out." Rumlow ordered sounding very pissed. "Teach her a lesson how Hydra deal with disobedience."

She felt Rollins pick her up and dragging her out, her eyes never leaving her soldier. As the door closed she could hear his screams of pain. She could feel the hot tears roll freely down her cheeks.


	35. Chapter 35

"How pathetic you have become." Rollins hissed as he pulled along "love has made you weak."

He was telling her the truth, she knew that already. She hung her head low, defeated. But why did she have to be defeated, her soldier never gave up on her when they stripped her memories. She needed to stand on her own feet now, she had only one chance of getting this right. If they were in a bank, all she needed to do was get into public space. They wouldn't attack her up there and spoil their plans. She closed her eyes knowing she had the element of surprise over him, she felt the smile come to her face as a plan came to mind.

She continued to let him drag her along, sensing his grip on her loosen as she flipped. She grabbed his arm quickly pulling hard forcing him to the floor, then using the butt of his own rifle she knocked him unconscious. Searching his body she found a hand pistol and knife, taking both tucking them into her trousers and the rifle she was armed. She moved through the warren of corridors, she could feel a breeze of fresh air slowly getting stronger. Hoping she was heading the right direction, she moved silently through the corridors, keeping an eye in front and behind her just in case.

She could hear footsteps, stepping into storage room she watched as guards ran pass. She knew the element of surprise may have passed, she had to move quickly if she was going to manage this crazy escape plan. Slipping out of the room she glanced up and down the corridor before she carried on.

"There!" She heard some on shout.

Turning Isabelle pointed the riffle firing, she hit one guard before her riffle stalled, she chucked the weapon to the floor pulling the knife out. Three remaining guards approached her. She focuses her mind knowing that she could do this, after all her lessons with her soldier she could do this. The first guard ran at her, she dived out the way leaving her knife out feeling it connect with something. She noticed the blood on the blade knowing she had done some damage at least. She prepared herself for the next attack as the second guard came in with a kick. She blocked the blow using the undefended leg to slice at the femoral artery. The guard fell to the floor clutching at his wound. The first guard came back to her she could see the blood on his side. She smiled knowing she could finish him off quickly. She waited for him to move as he threw a punch she ducked it aiming a hard blow to the wound. She could feel the increase of blood flow. He fell to the floor as Isabelle heard a click behind her. She paused glancing behind her seeing a gun pointed at her millimetres from her head. She dropped the knife knowing she didn't have a chance against him. She felt his hand on her arm pulling it behind her back. She stared ahead of her trying to slow her breathing as she thought about what she could do.

"No sudden moves." The guard said.

She smirked as her hands slipped into the back of her trousers, hoping the guard would not expect this with him standing between her and the gun. Gently pulling the pistol out of her trousers. She tilted the gun hopefully enough to hit the guard and not her. Slowly pulling the trigger she waited. The fire from the gun followed with the thud of a groaning body. She sighed feeling relieved, picking up the knife before moving away from the injured and not dead guards. Feelings pleased that she hadn't killed any one, she felt the breeze on her skin. Hiding the weapons back in her trousers she wiped the blood off her hands, reaching a heavy duty door she pulled it, seeing it lead into a bank with real people. Taking a quick breath she pulled the door open slipping through it as she walked into the stream of people, smiling, she was free. She now had a job to do, she needed to warn some one about HYDRA. The only person she trust to tell was Steve, she knew no one else she could go too.

Stepping out into the high street she moved with ease with the crowd. She looked at her clothing knowing she need to find something less obvious than the black uniform type of clothing to wear. She continued to walk down the street, only occasionally glancing over her shoulder. It didn't look like she was being followed at least. She noticed a woman had her bag wide open, she could see the wallet there, in plain sight. Gently taking the wallet out making sure it wasn't too obvious she removed the notes before placing it back in. She felt terrible for stealing but she needed it more than the woman did. Isabelle moved into a shop picking up a black pair of jeans and a purple strap top. Paying the woman at the desk she left the store finding the closest place to change. She kept the pistol in the back of her trousers and put the knife in her pocket. She let out a sigh knowing she had more to face now.

She moved out of the bathroom, moving quickly and with more confidence now she was in different clothing. She ran down some familiar streets not really knowing where she was going. She couldn't just ask some one for directions which would have made things a lot easier. She finally found the familiar building of SHEILD. The security was to high to even attempt to just cross the bridge and she couldn't trust which side they were actually on. She needed a way easy enough to slip in without detection.

She moved away from the road and the bridge, scoping the area, she saw a way off a peninsula of the main land, it would then involve swimming along the man made structure beside it to avoid any one spotting her. She knew that she needed to do this to save innocent people that HYDRA would kill along the way. Then help her soldier, see if he still remembered her. She knew she needed to get him away from this life, it was her turn to protect him.

She hesitantly waded into the freezing cold water. She shook off the feeling her body was receiving from the water as she got chest deep. She slowly started swimming, keeping her movements to a absolute minimum not wanting to attract attention. Thankfully there was enough of a distraction which would keep her out of sight. A ship slowly started easing its way up out from a underground bunker beside her in the lake. She was happy she didn't swim where the bunker had been hidden. She finally got to the base edge, treading water she looked around for a way out of the water. There was no way she could just pull herself out, the edge was too high. She saw a ladder under a kilometre away. Making her way out of the water she pulled herself onto the concrete floor. The gun fire already started, she guessed HYDRA's plan had started. She looked around to see if there was a way in or some one she could speak too. Spotting small ships with pilots hustling around, she got onto her feet running towards them.

One of the ships suddenly blew up making her stop in her tracks. She looked for the source of the blast, her heart sunk as she spotted him, her soldier firing again at another ship with people in. The ship was destroyed in a ball of flames instantly. Turning back to her soldier she moved towards him keeping her arms out to show she meant him no harm.

"Stop." She yelled at him. "Don't do this."

She had his attention at least. She didn't know what to do now, she had hoped when she faced him she would have had back up. Her heart pounded as he glared at, making his way closer to her, like he was stalking prey. She stood her ground trying not to show any sign of the fear she felt within, she readied herself knowing that she would have to stand her ground with him. She didn't want him thinking she was scared of him but at that moment she was terrified.

"This isn't you." She muttered as he got closer glaring at her. "We can leave, just us, no one would know. Please just consider what you are doing." She pleaded as he came within a stone throw of her. "You're under there control but if you don't help me I can't help you."

Her words obviously meant nothing to him as he swung for her using his metal arm, she ducked out the way surprised by his action. She got into a defensive stance knowing that she needed to protect herself from him. He threw another couple of punches most she managed to defend herself against, she could tell how he was attacking her he meant every blow.

"This is not what you want." Isabelle shouted at him between attacks.

He launched himself at her again, she didn't manage to get away from this one as he metal arm grabbed hers. She used her enhanced strength to lift herself up using his arm to kick him hard in the face. Sending them both to the floor. She initially landed on top of him but he quickly had them rolled over. His metal arm latched to her throat squeezing it painfully. She got her hand and tried scramming his face, his free human hand pulled it away. She could feel him begin to crush her airway. She brought up her knees luckily colliding with his groin, his hold briefly released, enough for her to punch him hard in the face. He rolled off her, she slowly got onto her feet catching her breath.

"You don't want to hurt me." She managed to say as he got off the floor looking even more menacing than before. "You just wanted to protect me once, you would give your own life to protect me. You loved me, I love you."

He lunged at her again, she blocked a couple of his moves, managing to get a few more blows in herself. She noticed him pull out a knife, this was not how she planned them meeting. Following his actions she got the one she took out. She knew he had trained her well enough to keep up with him. At least for a while but she didn't actually what to hurt him, the difference was he wanted to hurt her at the moment.

His attack was calculated, she could barely keep up with the moves he put in. Realising he must have gone slower for her while they trained together. She felt the edge of his blade connect with her shoulder. She kicked him back from her as her hand went instinctively to her shoulder feeling the blood there.

"You need to stop this, think just for one minute." She threw her knife down on the floor. Knowing it was stupid idea she just needed him to see sense, let what ever fog that was clouding his mind to clear. "Please I don't want us to fight, I don't want any of this, please I love you, I am pregnant with our child."

He paused for a moment, just long enough to make her heart skip a beat. Perhaps he knew her after all. She watched him as he stepped closer. She could see he was thinking, she prayed that her words were working. He then strikes again, catching her off guard she felt him grab her. Twisting her into his body so she was firmly restrained.

"Please stop." Isabelle screamed at him, his metal arm gripping her tighter as she struggled. "You know me, I know you do. We love each other" She pushed on him just enough to turn in his arms. She continued making eye contact with him hoping he would see what she was telling him. "please we can just leave all of this behind, just us together, we could go anywhere and be a family like we talked about."

The next thing she felt was the knife being driven into her side with force making her scream out. She looked down seeing the blood ooze out, she looked up to his face her eyes meeting with his cold ones. There was no remorse there at all. Her heart pounded as he let her drop down to the floor, she slumped down, laying back onto the concrete. Her hands clutching at her penetrated wound. She felt the energy being sucked out of her body as she continued to loose blood. The familiar feeling of death looming over her.

He moved away not a second look to her, he didn't even recognise her. She felt the tears roll down her face as her heart broke and the fear of death came. This was not how she imagined her end.


	36. Chapter 36

She felt really light headed, she hadn't even opened her eyes yet. She could remember the knife being driven into her abdomen, she could remember the look on her soldiers face and what had happened surrounded by that chaos. He had left her alone to die, no idea who she was, her head was pounding, she slowly forced her eyes open just seeing bright lights, her vision blurry at first. She tried pushing herself up feeling things tugging at her body. Panic set in as she pulled at whatever was holding her down, she suddenly felt a strong pair of hands pin her down. Fear quickly set in to what was happening to her. Had it all been a dream, was she back in HYDRA's hands again.

"Isabelle, Isabelle its Steve." She heard that familiar reassuring voice.

She stopped looking up seeing Steve standing above her holding her arms down, her heart stopped, staring at him as happiness started to spread over her body. She was back, back with her family, she just looked at him, making sure she wasn't seeing things. She couldn't quite believe it was him standing above her. But it actually looked like him, same calm smile, those warm blue eyes. She felt the joy surge through her, it felt so strange to feel happy but she was.

"Steve." She mumbled staring at him wanting to make sure that it was actually him here, it seemed completely unreal. He didn't look great, there were bruises and cuts still healing on his face but it was really him.

"Yeah." He nodded releasing his strong hold on her slowly but staying where he was looking down at her. "Your in hospital, I found you here when I was going through the list of injured. You were a Jane doe we needed to identify. I never expected to find you here Isabelle. You were pretty badly hurt but getting better now. Do you know what happened to you?"

"I was stabbed." Isabelle muttered thinking back remembering how her soldier had completely forgotten her, the feeling of his knife entering her. Tears welled in her eyes as she remembered the cold look in his eyes, how he had left her to die not knowing who she was to him. She shook the thought from her mind, reminding herself it wasn't him that it was HYDRA. It didn't change how much it hurt though, she moved her hand to her side where the pain was. Then irrational panic took over as she thought about HYDRA. "and before that tortured and beaten. It was HYDRA, HYDRA are within SHIELD Steve, they have been for a while. They did this to me Steve, they were the ones who held me captive. They have a plan to destroy SHIELD and control the world by killing people." She stared at him hoping he would believe her. Perhaps he didn't know, there was still time to stop there plan from happening if they didn't know she was here. She could feel the fear in her a raise as she stared at Steve wide eyed.

"Isabelle it's sorted, we found out, we stopped them. It's over for HYDRA now" Steve closed his eyes on hearing what happened to her before opening them again. "Your safe now, I promise. They can't get to you any more."

Isabelle had to bite her lip to stop herself from bursting into tears, she had been promised that before and look where she was now. She glanced to Steve who saw the tears in her eyes, he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close to him. She held onto Steve feeling safer in his arms, taking a few deep breathes she calmed her nerves, as he released her. She relaxed back in the bed turning her head not wanting Steve to see her upset. After a moment she recomposed herself, she turned to look back at Steve who was now sitting in the chair staring at her. She knew he was assessing her, it was what Steve did well. He looked at the situation and worked out what was going on. He knew her well enough to be able to work out things weren't fine she knew that. There was no point from hiding her feelings from him, he would know.

"What happened Steve?" She asked knowing she needed to understand exactly what had happened. "How did you know?"

"Isabelle its a long story." Steve shook his head looking away from her thinking about something for a moment. "You need rest. Not burdening yourself with these details."

"Steve." Isabelle pleaded trying to push herself up slightly in the bed. She turned looking at him praying he would answer her. "Please."

"You don't need to worry about that." Steve insisted looking at her seriously. "Your safe that is all that matters."

She leant back into the bed, knowing she was not going to get any further on the matter. The door swung open as her brother rushed into the room interrupting them completely as he engulfed her in the biggest huge possible. Groaning from pain shooting through her she placed her arms around him returning the gesture, she closed her eyes realising she was actually happy this moment was happening. She was actually pleased to see her brother even though he had basically abandoned her previously. Now she remembered all of it, all those happy and not so happy memories with her brother, she wanted to have him, her brother in her life forever. She had wanted this moment for weeks, all of it had been forgiven over that time with HYDRA, she needed all the family she could get right now.

"God you look like shit." He pulled back staring at her for a moment before turning to Steve. "Have they said anything Capt?"

"No they had to sew her abdomen back together, she is dehydrated and malnourished but with her abilities nothing a few days rest and food can't fix. Stark is paying for the private health cover." Steve remained seated staring at her a questioning look in his eyes before getting up. "I will leave you two to alone for a bit."

"Thanks Capt for sitting with her these last few days." Clint looked away from her to Steve shaking his hand. "Means a lot."

"You had unfinished work and Isabelle is a good friend. If there is anything you need, all you need to do is ask" Steve smiled weakly getting out of the chair. "I will see you soon Isabelle."

She nodded before trying to smile at her friend, there was an uneasiness. She couldn't put her finger on but he was obviously worried about something or he was not telling them everything. She guessed it was normal when your friend had just been found after being captive for god knows how long especially when she was meant to be safe but she presumed that she had not heard the end of it yet. She then realised there was no mention of her being pregnant, she put a hand to her stomach, she wondered if she was even pregnant, was it another mind game or had she lost the baby after everything. She felt tears come back to her eyes as she thought about the possibilities.

"Jesus Iz if I knew." Clint began taking hold of her hand and sitting on the edge of the bed. "We had no idea HYDRA were operating within SHIELD"

"You didn't." Isabelle turned to stare at him shaking her head as she wiped the tears from her eyes. "No one knew that HYDRA had infiltrated SHIELD that was their plan. They were good at hiding in plain sight, thank god Steve managed to work it out before it was too late."

"I should have been there." Clint continued she could hear him beating himself up over it. "I have been a lousy brother yet again. Leaving you with SHIELD, I should have been there for you. Just did what I thought was best."

"Stop." Isabelle shook her head not wanting to hear any more about it. "You had work, I understand." She lied not really wanting to get into that right away. "Look you never fussed like this when I broke my leg at that gym competition. I don't expect it now. Especially now I heal faster."

Clint stared at her his eyes wide open as his mouth dropped. Isabelle just frowned not expecting a response like that from a simple comment till she remembered, no one knew that the majority of her memories had returned. Considering she had been locked up for the past few weeks, she had remembered a lot since then. She slowly smiled at him shrugging.

"Yeah I am slowly getting back my memories." Isabelle said the obvious looking up at him smiling slightly. "I think I have most of them but some things are still vague."

"Oh Iz" Clint beamed as he hugged her again. "That's brilliant."

This time she accepted it a little more freely than before, smiling. She was back with her family, with all but one person. Her heart clenched painfully as she realised she had no idea where he was or what had happened to him. She knew that she would have to find him and perhaps do it on her own. Hours passed and Clint was asleep in the corner, he looked exhausted bless him. She slowly sat up wincing slightly as she moved, her side was really tender but she had had worse, reaching over she pulled out her medical notes. She skimmed through the notes, reading what they had gone through putting her back together, she had lost a lot of blood but there was nothing about a child or pregnancy. Surely they would know if she had lost a baby, but then again had seen been actually pregnant to start with. She didn't trust what ever HYDRA had told her but it made sense and after the number of times that her and her soldier had been intimate she couldn't rule it out as a possibility. She rubbed her face feeling a gritty feeling there, slowly she slid out of bed, heading to the private ensuite bathroom. She got her first chance to look at herself, she looked worse than she felt. Her face was pale and had become sunken, her cheek bones prominent. There were still bruises covering her face, also a good one around her neck, her hand ran over that one remember her soldiers hand squeezing it. She shook that thought out of her head, knowing it wasn't truly him who wanted to do that to her. She washed her face, removing any dirt of sleep from her face feeling a relief in just being able to clean her face.

Heading back into the bedroom, picking the notes up and putting them back where they belonged she looked over to Clint who was still fast asleep, maybe she could explain what happened, perhaps Clint would understand. She smirked shaking her head knowing there was little hope of that, in all honesty Clint would not accept that it was love, he would see it as Stockholm syndrome, she could see him reacting now. Her heart sank slightly knowing that she could not tell him about her soldier. Her mind then drifted back to him, she wondered if he was actually alive or not, if HYDRA was gone that could also mean so was he. She felt the tears fall from her face as she cried silently.


	37. Chapter 37

It was only a few days before the hospital released her, nearly fully healed, just weak and tender. She had been ready to leave the moment she had woken, the only thing she was thankful about with her changes was not having to spend any longer in a hospital than needed. Starks doctor had been amazed by her abilities, that she was completely healed from life threatening injuries within days where it should have taken weeks, she just ignored all the comments made. She wasn't interested that she was different, it wasn't something she wanted it had been forced upon her.

There was still no mention of her pregnancy, part of her didn't want to know the three possibilities she had come too, had she ever been pregnant, was she still pregnant or had she miscarried. All of them hurt to think about, that she had been manipulated in a way she never expected to affect her so much, that made her angry. She knew it must be early days regardless, perhaps if the hospital weren't looking then they may have not realised but she guessed that was unlikely after the injuries she had.

She had time to be pissed off with HYDRA more than ever but she needed to channel her anger some way. She had lashed out at Clint a couple times, his questions about what happened, the way he treated like she was about to break. If only he knew what she had learnt or had done to her. She didn't want to talk about it yet, she didn't want to be treated differently or wrapped up in cotton wool. Knowing non of them would understand, she never expected them to but she didn't need the interrogations right now. Some other of the Avenger team had visited, most of them never knowing Isabelle before the whole kidnapping, however there was one person she was kind of pleased to see. Natasha Romanoff, it was nice to see a friendly female face, she had remembered how close they had once been. It didn't feel any different when she came to visit with Clint after one of their number squabbles. It was nice to hear what she had to say about her time before HYDRA had taken her, listen to some of her stories which distracted her from the real world for a short while.

Clint was walking her out of the hospital carrying her bags and the multiple bunches flowers she had received from almost the whole avenger team it seemed. Steve hadn't been back to visit her which she found strange, she wanted some answers and she guessed Steve knew something he was keeping from her, she wanted to know what happened to him, her soldier. She only hoped that he was alive, that was the one thing she hoped for above all else.

"So we heading back to a SHIELD base?" Isabelle asked looking up to the bright blue sky enjoying the feeling on the sun on her skin. No one had said anything about where they were based now. Nothing about what had happened the past 2 weeks give or take.

"No, there isn't a SHIELD to go back to now." Clint sighed as a black tinted window car pulled up beside them. "It's a surprise."

Isabelle looked at him skeptically, she now knew what surprises Clint had previously thought was a good idea. She guessed he was trying to be her brother again but it had been so long since he had, it felt forced. The window of the car rolled down, Nat looked at her smiling.

"This is better than the time he thought you wanted a princess experience at Disney. I promise."

"I don't remember that one." Isabelle frowned confused at her friends remark.

"It's better you don't, you weren't that impressed at the time trust me." Nat smirked sounding amused. "Now get in before they give a ticket to Stark. Not that he couldn't pay for it."

Isabelle smiled at her friends comment before climbing into the car. She sat silently watching the city roll by enjoying the silence and freedom. She had no idea what the pair of them sitting in the front had planned for her. All she wanted was to go back to the flat she remembered, her home, be left alone to think over what had happened and not be treated like an experiment any more.

She then thought about what Clint had said, if there wasn't SHIELD any more, that means that some thing big must have happened, she guessed it was the rest of what HYDRA had planned. If both SHIELD and HYDRA had been destroyed during that attack then what would have happened to her soldier? Could he have been killed too, destroyed with the rest of it perhaps. She shook her head not wanting to think that way about him, thought it was a possibility which she knew was highly likely. They pulled up outside a familiar looking building, she had seen it in some magazine.

"This is Starks tower?" Isabelle muttered looking up at the tall building, remembering seeing it in the news after she had woken. She could feel her heart rate increase slightly as she felt on edge not really knowing why she was here.

"Yeah, it's part of the surprise." Clint beamed at her pulling her stuff out of the car.

Once they were through security, the three of them stood in the elevator waiting to reach the floor they needed. Isabelle could feel a slight sense of apprehension build within her. She had no idea what her brother or friend had planned for her but she wasn't really sure that she would like it. The doors of the lift opened in front of a familiar crowd of people and a welcome home banner. She was shocked to have such a welcome party, for people to be here fair enough most of them were strangers to her but it was still nice.

"Welcome to our new home sis." Clint smiled at her broadly obviously pleased to see her shocked.

"Home." Isabelle whispered looking at everyone who stood before her, there was Steve, Stark, Dr who turned into a green monster, even Thor and a few others she didn't know but a few she recognised faces.

"Well since the Capt decided to destroy SHIELD and everything with it, there were a few orphans needing rehoming and this place was a bit too quiet." Stark stepped forward with a glass of Champagne which he handed to her. "You have a apartment to yourself don't worry I wouldn't expect you to bunk up with the bird man." He pointed at her brother. "Just don't do anything stupid like trash the room or anything we don't know about."

"Stark." She heard Clint, Nat and Steve say simultaneously, non of them impressed with his comment. The corner of Isabelles lip curled upwards, Stark at least was not going to be wrapping her in cotton wool like the rest of them.

"Thank you." Isabelle responded a little shocked with it all. "I might just go and rest." Not really in the mood for celebrating and feeling a little overwhelmed being surrounded by well heroes.

"The doctor said you were fine now." Clint stepped in placing a arm on her shoulder. "A few hours, a drink and relaxing with friends is just what you need." He winked giving her a warm smile.

She nodded, not having the energy to argue with anyone. She mingled and met more people than she could remember getting to know some of the team that her brother worked with. Finally having enough of smiling and acting like it was all okay, she stood by the window looking out at the sunset across the city. He had to be out there some where, she thought, she could feel her heart ache for the comfort he brought her. She missed him more than she thought was ever possible. She felt a presence behind her pulling her out of her thoughts. She looked up seeing Steve standing behind her with two fresh glasses of Champagne in his hand.

"Looks like you could do with another drink." He offered her glass beaming at her.

"Thanks." Isabelle smiled weakly, she already felt like she had had enough but excepted the glass any way.

"Are you okay?" He frowned staring at her. "You seems different."

"Well I have more of my memories and I remember what happened to me this time." Isabelle sighed stating the obvious looking back outside watching the city outside. "One thing I am uncertain on though." She paused looking back to Steve frowning. "What happened to SHIELD? How was it destroyed?"

"You don't need to be concerning yourself with it now." He shook his head not looking at her. "Just take some time for yourself."

"No I do. I need to know." She said urgently hoping he would not fight her about this. "please it will help make things straight in my head. Just with all that has happened." She said knowing it wasn't the full truth but she couldn't lie to Steve. "Everything is a bit of a blur at the moment. It would help me."

Steve looked at the crowd talking together, he looked back to her his face becoming serious. She could see he was battling something within. She watched him become thoughtful and quiet for a moment.

"HYDRA were operating within SHIELD."

"I know all that. Pierce told me what they had planned for SHIELD, not in detail but I knew they planned to destroy it and take over. Trying to control chaos he called it but what happened at the end?" Isabelle stared at him impatiently. "I mean how did you stop them?"

"SHIELD had three ships, to protect the earth." Steve started to explain, his voice quiet. "HYDRA had taken them over and were to going to kill millions of people. People who would not agree with there ideal world. We had to destroy the three ships, put a end to HYDRA which meant ending SHIELD."

"And Pierce?" Isabelle frowned taking in what Steve told her. It made sense, she had seen that much before she had found him.

"Dead." Steve looked back to the crowd who were completely unaware of the conversation they were holding. Isabelle felt herself sigh, she took a sip of her drink, feeling a moment of relief pass through her. A man who had controlled who she was, who she became, the one who had changed her. Gone for good. "There's something else." She heard Steve say pulling her out of her thoughts.

"What?" Isabelle stared at him, not sure where this talk was heading now.

"HYDRA had taken my friend, changed him without any one knowing." Steve began looking down at his feet. She could see he was feeling uncomfortable now. He was scared almost nervous, Isabelle felt herself tense up. She put her drink down stepping closer to him, not sure why his composure had changed. "Nat nor Clint wanted me to tell you this but I feel you have the right to know."

"Steve your worrying me now." Isabelle muttered taking his hand, trying her hardest to reassure him. She had never seen him so nervous, well except after she had thrown herself at him and kissed him. He seemed to be avoiding looking at her which made her stomach sink further. "Steve is it something I should worry about?"

"No, maybe." Steve looked up at her wide eyed. "Not that I think you should, I can protect you. Nat and your brother think differently about telling you. They think it may upset you if you knew the truth."

"I am not going to break Steve, don't wrap me up in cotton wool like the others are. Your my friend Steve, I appreciate your honesty, your some one I think of as family and if you can't tell me the truth who will." She muttered staring up at him knowing that was as true as it could be. "Please Steve." She quietly begged.

"You know when you lived with me, when your memories were returning." Steve started this time a little more sure and confident. "You mentioned a man with a metal arm, a man who had a helping hand in torturing you."

"I remember." Isabelle said coolly nodding, as her heart skipped a beat from a mention of her soldier. She tried to remain calm not knowing where Steve was planning to go with this. She knew he probably thought the worse of him at the moment, especially Considering what she had told him back then before she had remembered the rest.

"I know him." Steve continued looking at her, his expression full of worry and guilt. "Very well."

"Him." Isabelle said not able to hide the shock of it. It made no sense that they could know each other. With Steve being the age he was, frozen in time and then stuck within SHIELD. How the hell could they have met each other.

"He was my best friend, he died just before I was frozen in the 1940's. Or at least I thought he was dead." Steve explained still looking guiltily at her, avoiding direct eye contact. "I only found out when we came face to face after fighting, he didn't even recognise me the first time we met. I think though the second time he saw me, he may have remembered, it's a bit of a blur what happened. I believe he saved me from drowning at least, which was something but we cant be sure about that."

"He did remember you the first time" Isabelle whispered loud enough for Steve to hear. She closed her eyes not really sure what to do or why she said it. Thinking about the last time they were together. It made sense, he was upset about some memories, memories of his past and a person triggered that. It now made sense that person had to be Steve. Opening her eyes she could see Steve was now frowning at her. She guessed he had heard what she said.

"Pardon?" Steve stepped closer now it was his turn to be confused.

Isabelle glanced over her shoulder to see Nat heading towards them carrying more drinks. This was not the time or the place to open that can of worms. There was going to be far to many questions, she needed more time alone with Steve. She knew that the others would think she was having a break down or something along those lines. She just turned looking at Steve mumbling.

"Not now, I will explain later. I promise."

"Now what are you two doing?" Nat stared suspiciously at the pair of them placing the drinks down.

"Just catching up." Isabelle smiled back at her friend sweetly. "I am going to see if Clint will show me around before I pass out from exhaustion." Making her excuses she left Steve and Nat quickly not looking back.

Isabelle moved away feeling herself tremble from what had just been said. Her Soldier was a lot older than she had thought, Steve was 95 now at least. She tried to calm her breathing, feeling herself getting excited and nervous both at the same time. She knew she owed Steve a full explanation but God only knew how he would take such news. She found Clint quickly standing beside him as he talked to Stark about something or nothing.

"Alright sis?" Clint put a arm around her beaming a little drunk.

"Tired." Isabelle wasn't really lying, her body was protesting at every move. "Fancy showing me around before I perhaps have a rest. Doctors orders an all."

The tour took a lot longer than she anticipated, partly due to Clint being rather merry, it was nice to see him happy. The facilities within the tower was amazing, there were labs, gyms, a pool, communal living area and kitchen etc. All anyone could ever want, Clint seemed reluctant to let her be alone but he did finally give her a chance leaving her in her apartment to get some sleep. Isabelle sighed standing in the apartment which had been given to her, wondering what the hell she should do now.


	38. Chapter 38

Isabelle just sat on her bed looking around the vast room, there wasn't anything to call her own here. It felt strange to have this all this room, with beautiful furniture and decor, it was meant to be hers. She felt like a stranger to this life, it was not what she expected or really wanted any more. She would rather the simple life, if only she had him back. Her hand ran over her stomach thinking about what she had been told, whether her pregnancy had survived, no one had spoken to her about it, making her doubt it was ever real.

Then now there was the added information she had, the soldier had once been Steves best friend. That had taken some thought to get her head around. Now she had time to think about it, it was no longer shocking, it actually made perfect sense. She knew HYDRA using him on there terms by putting him on ice, storing him like they had done to her, for longer than she ever thought possible. But they obviously managed it well. He had been changed like her, torn away from all he knew and made into something she guessed he wasn't. HYDRA would have probably ended up doing the same thing to her too if he hadn't of saved her the first time or if HYDRA hadn't been taken down by Steve. The way he was acting when his memories came back to haunt him, he was so confused, Steve had been the trigger, she guessed it had been so long, it was why it shook him up pretty bad.

Going to the wardrobe she opened the doors staring at the full range of clothes she now owned. They filled her wardrobe full of clothing that was all slightly too big but they were under instructions from the doctors to get her to put weight on. They had definitely gone over board, there were different styles and colours, some of the clothes looked far to expensive for day to day, while others looked more comfortable but not her. Going for some shorts and a strap top she pulled them on, not really caring what she looked like. She looking back out of the window, her beautiful city view. She didn't really know what to do with herself. Leaning against the metal frame of the window she watch the city move on. She felt her heart ache, even Steve couldn't answer her about where her solider was. She rested her head against the cool window, how the hell would she find out if he was dead or alive. She could not live with herself if he was out there alone, a tear run down her cheek, she wiped it away, cursing herself for being so weak. She couldn't do this to herself, she needed to be proactive in finding him, if he was out there and her only hope of help with is was Steve. That was if she could persuade him to help her. She ran her finger along the glass following the lights of the city amongst the night sky. She needed to tell Steve everything, right from the start till her last seconds with him. Hopefully he would understand what they had both been through, that their was more than the assassin within him.

Pushing herself off the glass she left her room padding her way down the corridors and stairways to Steve's apartment. He could be still at the party with everyone else but it was worth a try. Gently tapping at the door she waited, it seemed to be more like Steve was still with everyone else. Turning she was just about to head back to her room when she heard the door open. She turned back to see Steve standing in the door way his hair wet and he was just in some trousers.

"Isabelle." He frowned looking down at her obviously baffled why she was there now.

"I really need to talk to you." She muttered looking at him, hoping he would understand her urgency. "It's important."

Steve didn't say anything but simply stepped out of the way allowing her into his room. She walked in wrapping her arms around herself her nerves getting the better of her, his room was more homely. She remember some of his furniture from his apartment. He even had photos up, some old originals by the look of them. She turned around not wanting to pry to much into Steve's personal space. Watching him pull on a shirt, she remembered how she would once feel flustered around him. He was after all a very good looking guy, maybe once before all of this something could have developed but now she remembered about her solider. Once fully dressed Steve stood in front of her, his face full of questions and apprehension.

"I guess you have some questions for me?" Isabelle broke the silence rubbing her arms worried about how this would go. She bit the corner of her lip as she thought how to word everything she needed to tell him. "Please just let me explain everything first, I will tell you all I know and I promise to tell you the truth, all of it. Just save any questions till I have finished."

Steve nodded pointing to the sofa and armchair. Slowly Isabelle sat on the sofa tucking her legs underneath her, watching Steve as he sat in the armchair. Isabelle started where her and Steve had left off after that kiss they shared. It seemed like years ago, felt strange to be only talking about months.

She let everything spill, she could see Steve's expression of shock and horror plastered across his face. She told him as much as she could, obviously having blanks that she was unable to have answered herself. She recalled as much of her early memories as she could to give him the full understanding of the situation slotting them in amongst her recent experience. She could see he was just absorbing as much of the information as he could. It was a lot, it was tiring to her just bringing it all back again. She watched Steve nod at the appropriate places, she tried to explain her feelings and her soldiers feelings. How they were the victims of HYDRAS experiments and manipulation. She could see from the window the light from the sun as it began to rise in the sky. Slowly she got up moving towards the window too look out across the view as she spoke.

"I need to find him Steve I owe him that at least, after all he did for me." She finished now standing up her arms wrapped around herself, turning to stare at him hoping he understood. "I made a promise to him. His memories will return at some point, I know it."

"You still love him even after he tried killing you the last time you saw him?" She could the judgement in Steve's eyes, she couldn't put her finger on what he was thinking. She knew he would have questions for her and she owed him to be honest about his friend.

"Yes. I don't know, my feeling have been messed up recently and we were forced together, he is the reason why I am alive though and I do love him in a way, its just complicated." She nodded trying to understand her own feeling which she had not really had the chance to do before "His memories of me had been wiped completely by HYDRA, his brain scrambled as a punishment for not completing a mission. He either didn't know it was me and did a poor job of killing me or perhaps something stopped him from killing me. I have hope that he will remember soon!" She put her hands on her hips not really expecting to have justify herself to Steve. "He trained me to fight and I learnt a lot from him Steve. He could over power me whenever he wanted because I get distracted by emotions, feelings, something I am learning to control. He could have easily killed me if he really wanted to, he definitely knew how to do that. I was a target, a prisoner and a belonging at the end of the day nothing more. He stabbed me but didn't kill me as he was instructed to do, destroy anyone attempting to stop HYDRA, instead left me, what harm would there be if he had added a bullet to my brain. He didn't though, he didn't kill me. It's the hope I need to keep looking for him. It's all I need to know he may remember me."

"Isabelle he's dangerous to himself and others." Steve looked seriously at her. "His mental state is unknown and there is a chance he went down with the rest of HYDRA."

"He knew you, even you said it he may have saved you." She stared at him with disbelief that he would turn his back on his own friend. "What more do you need?" She threw her arms out wide in frustration. "I am dangerous because of HYDRA too, are you just going to discard me like him." She took a deep breath in trying to calm herself knowing this was not going to get what she wanted if she just shouted at him. She took a deep calming breath in looking at her friend before saying. "He was remembering you Steve when I last saw him." She felt a tear rolled down her cheek. "He protected me from hell. He was doing what he did to keep HYDRA from killing me. They used his feelings for me to control him and I hate myself for that."

She turned away from Steve wiping her tears away, she guessed Steve wasn't the help she had hoped she could rely on. She let out a sigh not really knowing what to do or say now. She hadn't even brought up about the possibility of her carrying his friends child. She bit her lip trying to work out where she went from here.

"I do actually believe you. I was never going to give up on him, I couldn't, I let him, my friend down, I just needed to know your intentions." Steve finally said calmly coming closer to her pulling her into his arms, holding her as she let out a sob. "It's a lot of information to find out your best friend was turned into something I never thought he could be. That he killed people, innocent people and he has to be accountable for that but during that he found love in one of my friends in the last place I would expect."

Isabelle glanced up looking at Steve's face smiling weakly. It was just enough though to give her hope that Steve was on her side. She pulled out of his arms looking at him her eyes meeting his seeing that he meant it.

"There is good in him Steve, he isn't just the winter soldier and the assassin he was made into." Isabelle turned to looked at Steve.

"I hope that is true." Steve nodded rubbing his head as he thought. "I guess it's my turn to be honest with you now."

Isabelle cocked her head looking at him not sure what was going to be said or happen now after what she just told him. She waited as her heart rate began to rise, watching Steve go over to his desk full of papers. He pulled at a hidden draw and brought out a folder holding it within his hands. Isabelle frowned as Steve finally handed the folder to her.

"Read it." Steve said.

Isabelle slowly opened the folder seeing a picture of her soldier, he looked different, care free, happy. Slowly she touched the photo, knowing this was taken a life time ago now. She could feel herself tremble as she went through the papers. There was enlistment forms from the Second World War, HYDRA paperwork, experiments and lots more. She didn't quiet understand why or how Steve had all of this but it explained a lot about her soldier.

"Why do you have all of this?" She asked feeling really confused.

"I have been looking for him already." Steve answered sitting on the edge of his sofa crossing his arms. "Following leads. I believe that he's alive Isabelle. You have just given me hope that he has the ability to change and I didn't have to do something I would have regretted the rest of my life, killing my friend because of what he was."

Isabelle had no words to say she just flung her arms around her friend hugging him. Finally there was hope she had wanted and something to keep her going. She had some one who would help her. She felt Steve return her hug, she could feel the tears fall freely from her eyes now. As Steve pulled back she could see he was looking at her worried.

"These are happier tears." She wiped her cheeks with the bottom of her top before looking back at him. "I never thought I would be able to tell any one this Steve, let alone some one believing me. It's like a massive weight has been lifted off my shoulders."

"I know." Steve smiled wiping a stray tear off her cheek. "The others though, they wouldn't be as understanding. They only know him as the winter soldier, a enemy, nothing else."

"So just us?" Isabelle sighed thinking for a moment feeling some of that weight return, she didn't like the idea of keeping secrets but she knew how to if needed.

"And Sam whose a good friend, I met him after I thought you had been put under to retrieve your memories." Steve added moving over to his small kitchen. "He's been helping me already, we can trust him. Do you want a coffee while you read through the rest of the folder."

"Please." She nodded moving to sit back down at the sofa looking through the notes Steve had put together. She now had a name for him, her soldier at least James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes which made her happier than she thought it ever would.


	39. Chapter 39

Isabelle lay across Steve's sofa still looking at the notes he had given her absorbing all the information she could about her soldier including a name, Bucky, it felt strange to say a name after all this time. Steve was sitting in his chair watching her, he had been really patient with her answering any of her questions as she went, as well as constantly topping up her coffee as she studied through all the paperwork. Finally she sat up leaning forward as she thought looking at Steve frowning for a moment before coming out with her question.

"Why not tell the others, with both of us knowing him, surely we explain it all and they could help, it could make things easier and quicker to find him?"

"It could also make things worse." Steve took a sip of his freshly made coffee shaking his head with disagreement as he answered her. "Bucky has done a lot of bad things Isabelle, some which are unforgivable to others."

"While he was the soldier, under HYDRAS control." Isabelle argued trying to put her point across to get Steve to see reason. "That's not him, there was something else there to along side that darker place, we just need to explain that."

"Yes but it makes our argument harder for him if everyone knew what he has done. It could potentially lead to having people looking for him just to get revenge, possibly to even kill him. I have thought long and hard about this Isabelle. I don't see a good outcome." Steve shook his head before becoming quiet and thoughtful.

Isabelle's eyes narrowed as she watched her friend think, she didn't understand why Steve wasn't just coming out with it, it obviously was bothering him. She shut the folder watching Steve knowing he was keeping something from her. Something which may or may not be in the folder but it was definitely bothering him. She slowly took a breath in knowing it wasn't good whatever Steve was hiding but she had to know everything so she could decide for herself.

"You going to tell me about it then?" She asked leaning back in the chair trying not to expect the worse but she knew very well what the soldier was capable of perhaps better than Steve could even imagine.

"You can't tell anyone." Steve looked at her seriously, she knew at that point it was bad. "Not even talk about it to Sam."

"Who would I tell." Isabelle rolled her eyes at him. "I never expected to be able to talk about him to any one else. Any how I would have to explain the rest and it would as you say cause problems for the soldier, I mean Bucky, one thing i don't want."

"I think, well no it was indicated to me that Bucky was involved in killing Starks parents. I don't know how involved, I can only guess but even if it was a small part, their blood is on his hands." Steve said looking at her his expression saying it all. "I know from what you have told me he has been brainwashed into doing many things. No one else would understand this though."

Isabelle sat back, her mouth open but nothing coming out, she knew it was more than possible and if Steve was telling her this he had no reason to lie. She closed her eyes for a moment realising the situation Steve was trying to explain. She felt a sudden weight on her shoulders felt unbearable, this made their situation a hundred times worse. There was no way they could tell the the rest of them would understand when you have information like that against him. She suddenly remembered where she was, she glanced around the room looking for anything which could be filming or recording them. She suddenly realise with all that was said now, people could find out and it could cause all sorts of issues. She could feel her anxiety within rise.

"Don't worry." Steve interrupted her thought process. "One of the conditions of all of us living here is that Stark disabled any recording devices or monitoring devices in our rooms. People's privacy here is important."

"So we can only talk about this in our rooms?" Isabelle asked looking at Steve her worry lowering as she gathered her thoughts.

She watched Steve nod in reply. "Your room has been set up to record you, just for now, so the team can monitor your well being after all that has happen. Your not suppose to know but that doesn't seem fair on you to not know that."

"Well that doesn't seem that surprising after everything, guess that is something i am already use too from Hydra. Steve, we really can't tell any one this, can we?" Isabelle came to the realisation that they were alone in this.

"No." He sighed looking at her. "But we have each other now which is something."

Picking up her coffee she relaxed a little with that thought, she wasn't alone, she had Steve, pulling her legs underneath her looking back to the bright sunshine pouring through the window. She hugged her hands around the mug realising how tired she was, she hadn't slept in 24 hours and she was still recovering from healing the wounds inflicted on her. Then her mind drifted to the unknown, the one thing which she had her to tell Steve, she glanced to her silent friend who was looking at the folder containing Bucky's information. The ache in her entire body becoming prominent as she thought about it, she had trusted Steve so far and she knew that this was something which needed addressing.

"Steve there is something else." Elle looked up at him as his attention came back to her. She could see him frown but not say anything. "HYDRA had plans lined up for me and Bucky, they stopped the plan for me to become another soldier after how he started behaving, instead they planned on making more soldiers using both Bucky and I."

"I don't understand, they were going to clone you?" Steve frowned

"No." Elle sighed as she slowly began to blush knowing she was going to have to explain it clearly to her friend. "More like breed from us, I don't really know whether it was to gain more control over us or if it was to use any children produced. Which they may have achieved, before the whole Washington attack they told me I was pregnant and that had been their intention the whole time. I hadn't thought about it till they told me, the whole time, all these tests I never thought this was." She paused shaking her head.

"So you and Bucky?" Steve looked at her obviously shocked not being able to bring himself to say it either. She just nodded feeling herself blush further. "Which means you could be pregnant with his child." Steve ran his hand through his hair taking this new information on board.

"Yes but it could be another HYDRA mind game. They manipulated Bucky using me, perhaps they were hoping a pregnancy would control me." She shook her head feeling her emotions boil over, she felt the weight on her shoulders grow. She bowed her head as tears formed, she was unable to hold them back, slowly they started rolling down her cheek. She felt the cushion move beside her as Steve pulled her against him pressing her head into Steve's chest she started letting out sobs. "What if I am pregnant, I can't do this alone. What if they have done things to me or it. How am I going to explain a pregnancy to them?" She pointed to the door. "They would never understand."

"Elle, non of us can imagine or understand what you have been through the last few weeks." Steve held onto her tightly rubbing her back. "I am here though and I will never let you do this alone, regardless what happens."

"Steve." Isabelle looked up at him with her blotchy tear stained face. "Your going to tell them though aren't you?"

"I don't know how else we can do this." Steve shook his head. "I don't know what to do for the best, you need looking after Elle, a doctor examination and more. I don't know if we can do all that without telling the team."

Elle pulled away from him, standing up heading over to the window. She knew Steve had a point, she wrapped her arms around herself as she looked down at the waking city. She knew she had told Steve enough to have her locked away. She turned to look at her friend as he sat silently watching her every move.

"I need to find out if I am actually pregnant Steve before we tell the rest of the team. I got stabbed, nearly died, if it could survive that then well." Elle looked at him not really sure what to say. "Then we can consider telling the others, perhaps leaving out the part where I hooked up to your old friend who had been brainwashed and turned into an assassin by HYDRA, who wanted little super soldier babies from us."

"We all just want to help you." He said watching her.

"Then why don't you tell them about Bucky?" She argued raising an eyebrow. "Because you know what they will say!"

"You will have to tell them something, they all have questions which will need to be answered." Steve replied staring down at her seriously. "Eventually."

"I know." She nodded slowly moving back to him sitting down beside him before continuing. "I just need some time Steve, work out what I am going to say, a lot has happened and a lot has changed. I need time to just get my head straight first."

There was a loud bang on the door which made her jump. Steve picked the folder on Bucky off the coffee table and put it away quickly before heading to the door. As he opened it Clint barged in, in mid sentence, not looking up as he moved into the room. He looked completely stressed out about something as Isabelle watched him, bemused what was exactly going on.

"She isn't in her room. Her bed isn't slept in. Capt Isabelle is gone." Clint said urgently, making Isabelle roll her eyes with some annoyance. She realised that Clint was going to be keeping a close eye on her, controlling her. Something she didn't really welcome.

Steve looked awkwardly to Isabelle who just smiled back at him feeling equally uncomfortable, she realised her brother was going to be unbearable, she knew that before then but seriously this was beyond what even she expected. She was a grown woman now and did not need Clint to be so over the top with the brother act, she just wanted to be allowed to be her own person.

"Morning Clint." She spoke up making Clint's head snap up as she took a sip of coffee trying to make herself look more relax than she currently felt.

"What are you doing here?" Clint stared at her wide eyed looking a little shocked about her being there drinking coffee.

"Just catching up with Steve." Isabelle lied, it came a little to easy to her but she knew she had a good reason behind it. She needed to protect her soldier. She just smiled sweetly at him cocking her head. "Something wrong?"

"You said you were going to bed, I come to get you this morning for breakfast and you were gone, bed not even touched." Clint's voice slowly started emitting the fact he was now pissed at her for something she didn't quite understand. "You're meant to be resting!"

"I couldn't sleep." Isabelle shrugged knowing she had done nothing wrong as she turned her back to her brother. "Or am I a prisoner in my so called home."

"Your meant to be recovering not staying up all night doing god knows what." Clint argued looking between her and Steve/.

Isabelle slowly got up turning around to stare at her brother as she put her hands on her hips. He was really going too far now, he had entrusted her to Steve before, so this was nothing more than that but here he was making things sound worse than they were. He was not taking over controlling her life, too many people had done that too her, she had seen enough and was older now, where she could make her own decisions. She didn't need him stepping in constantly wrapping her in cotton wool.

"Steve and I were just talking, Clint I am fine." She growled impatiently at him. "I do not need you telling me when to sleep, when to eat, do this, do that. I couldn't sleep, funnily enough it happens now. I bumped into Steve and we were just catching up about the time I lived with him. You know while you were too busy working to look after your sister."

She knew it was a tad to far, guessing by Clint's expression it struck a sore spot. She had hurt his feelings. She watched as he stared at her before turning and leaving her standing in Steve's room. She let out a frustrated sigh, knowing he was trying only to protect her and be a better big brother but she needed him to understand that she didn't need to be looked after like that now. She looked to the floor knowing she had said too much and too harshly.

"He's only acting the way he does because he loves you Isabelle." Steve spoke up saying what Isabelle already knew. "He has been really worried about you, don't be too hard on him."

"I know." She muttered not looking up as a pang of guilt spread through her. "I just need some space and not to be controlled."

"Tell him that, don't push him away." Steve answered.

She nodded knowing Steve was right, damn he was always right. She headed to the open door before glancing up at Steve. She could see now that he had that concerned look in his eyes. Slowly she stood up on tip toe and kissed him on the cheek.

"Thank you for everything." She said before leaving.

She headed back to her room knowing it was best to leave Clint to cool down. If memory served her right he needed a few hours at least. She got to her room laying down in her bed, exhausted from the emotions and the hours talking to Steve. She curled up into a ball wrapping her blankets around herself before closing her eyes and letting sleep take her.


	40. Chapter 40

_Light feathery kisses were being pressed against her skin making her squirm, she could feel a warmth build within her. He was giving her body his entire attention, his hands explored every curve, sending a tingling sensation within her. Her worry had completely passed, she lived in this moment, the one she never would have thought could happened in a place like this. Her hands found his long hair pulling him up to meet her lips as she kissed him trying to show him the love she felt. His strong arms wrapped around her, which only made her feel safer with him, she trusted him with her body and soul. He pulled back slightly out of puff pressing his forehead against hers, so their eyes were locked._

 _"I have to ask again are you sure you want this?" Her soldier panted, she could plainly see the worry in his eyes. Isabelle felt the fear come back to her as she hear his question and considered her response. Sensing her apprehension he pulled her against him and wrapped the blankets around her as if to protect her, make her feel safe, which it did. "We don't have too, we, I can wait." He whispered against her ear brushing the hair off her neck and kissing it._

 _"I do, I want too." She began trying to be braver than she felt right then. "I just haven't done this before." She blushed feeling stupid for bringing it up._

 _"I know." She could feel his smile against her shoulder which surprised her. "It was plain to see."_

 _Isabelle couldn't help but frown, how could some one see that she was a virgin. Holding onto his broad shoulders for dear life, she felt safe around him. She felt his hand run up and down her spine, the cool metal making goosebumps along her skin. She rested her head on his shoulder thinking for a moment, she wanted this, she wanted him, she loved him. What more did she need. She shifted slightly feeling his erection pressed against her lower belly. That was what scared her, the size of it, she was not sure what to expect during intercourse but she knew it would hurt._

 _"You okay?" He turned to look at her._

 _"Yeah." Isabelle weakly smiled her hand going to cup his cheek. She leant in slowly kissing him softly on the lips. She hoped he would understand that she needed him to just take charge._

 _The kiss immediately deepened, she felt his fingers dig deep into her skin surely marking her with bruises. Not that she cared about that in the slightest right now. She wrapped her arms tightly around him as he pulled her leg up against his hip. She felt her heart race increased, knowing what was to come. He hovered above her for a brief moment, almost like he was waiting to see if she was sure before he slowly enter her. Her breath caught immediately within the back of her throat. She felt him stretch her, she bit her lip as he pushed further forward. She arched her back slightly hoping that it would ease the painful sensation as he entered her. He held onto the dip of her back as she arched, he kissed her lips before saying._

 _"Relax." His words made her relax slightly, she looked up at him seeing his face, there was nothing but her and him. It made the pain ease slightly. His hand ran along her cheek as he kissed her gently. "I'm sorry."_

 _Before she had a chance to understand what he said or meant. He pushed forward with a bit more force. Isabelle cried out, feeling him fully enter her. The air had been knocked out of her lungs by him. She pressed her head into his chest her eyes scrunched shut trying not to focus on the pain getting use to the strange filled feeling. He stayed still not moving, giving her time to get use to the feeling of their union. Isabelle finally took a breath in, it was a strange feeling, she was no longer one person. The pain ebbed away enough for her to feel some thing different. A warm feeling building within her stomach, something she wanted to grow._

 _"Isabelle." He whispered her name but she could hear a plea in his voice._

 _"Please." She pulled back from his chest her hands running over his strong chest shifting slightly underneath him. Trying to encourage him to move. "Please." She begged._

 _His movements were slow and steady to start with. Isabelle held onto his shoulders as she began to enjoy that warm liquid lava feeling build within her. She closed her eyes wanting more, she moved her legs which ignited a spark making her groan from beneath him. Wrapping her legs around him, which seemed to only spur him on, his thrusts becoming more confident and forceful._

 _He suddenly flipped them so she was on top, she felt exposed and unsure what he wanted her to do. With a little encouragement and guidance from him she started moving. A moan escaped from her lips. The changed had only seemed to heighten the sensation within her. As he sat up capturing her lips with his she felt herself tremble. His hands clenched her hips keeping her at the pace he wanted. Her head dropped to the side as she enjoyed this feeling which was washing over her. She cried out as her body became not her own, she felt the hotness take over her entire body. Grabbing at his skin as his lips consumed her cries. He kept her moving till he groaned against her lips. Both of them stilling he wrapped his arms around her keeping against him. She rested her head on his shoulder, her sweat covered skin pressed against his. She felt her body become heavy in his arms, gently he rolled them over so he lay beside her._

 _"Are you okay." He asked brushing her hair off her face._

 _"More than okay." She smiled kissing him gently on the lips, enjoying the feeling with him._

When Isabelle woke the sun was still high in the sky, it's light shining through the window onto her face. She smiled as she cherished the returned memory, their first time together. He had been so gentle and considerate, like he had been only so recently, only thinking of her. She sighed looking out the window as she wrapped the blanket around her smiling like a idiot. She couldn't explain how much she loved him, even now as she thought about her memory before a sadness took over. That maybe it now, only to recall him in memories, he could be dead or out there not remembering a thing about her.

Enjoying the moment briefly she forgot the chaos awaiting her. A frowned appeared as she recalled what happened, she rolled over onto her stomach knowing that she had some apologising to do. Pressing her face into the pillow she groaned inwardly knowing this wouldn't be easy. Clint could be stubborn when he wanted too, just like her, he probably wouldn't understand her need for space. Slowly she climbed out of bed stretching, she needed to shower first, dress and then she would go to find Clint. She knew he was only trying to make up on lost time and that non of this was his fault but it gave him no excuse to restrict and monitor what she did. However frustrating and infuriating it was going to be, it was not going to do her or this situation any good if she took it out on him.

Once she had her shower, dressed in the baggy clothing and plaited her wet hair she left her room. Slowly wandering around the building she got her bearings on the building as far as she could, for whatever reason some doorways didn't open for her. It was bigger than she thought, she knew she hard barely scratched the surface. She finally got to the main living area seeing Clint and Natasha sitting talking, as she approached them she saw them both look up becoming silent.

"Finally get some sleep?" Natasha smiled at her obviously knowing what happened. She just rolled her eyes, guessing Clint had told Nat all about what had gone on between them earlier.

"A few hours." Isabelle nodded before looking to Clint who had looked away at this point. She knew she had to apologise even though it was not completely her at fault, otherwise he would keep this ignoring her thing up for days from memory. "Look Clint I am sorry that I lashed out. It's been a hard few well you know." Isabelle knew this apology was going completely lame. She looked to the floor thinking for a moment. "I really do appreciate what you are trying to do. I just, I'm adjusting at the moment, it's going to take time for me to get use to the fact I am not alone any more and that I have you about."

Finally Clint looked back at her nodding but still not happy, she sighed standing still feeling a little awkward. She didn't want to go into the reasons why or what her and Steve were actually talking about all night.

"Have you eaten?" Clint asked looking at her with that concerned expression. Isabelle tried to ignore it and shook her head. She could see Clint look at her really baggy clothing. Her jeans were hanging off her hips and long sleeve top miles to big for her. "Come on then let me make you some lunch otherwise your going to continue disappearing on me."

Slowly smiling Isabelle nodded following him to the kitchen. She watched as Clint pulled a few things out of a ginormous fridge. It had to be she guessed, with all of them living under one roof. Clint started chopping some ingredients, Isabelle moved next to him and nudged him.

"Want me to chop while you cook like old times?" She suggested, thinking about her memories. They often use to cook together while he was home. She smiled, he had always tried hard to give her a normal childhood, except it was never going to be, it shouldn't have been him raising her. She glanced up at him seeing him smile and nod as he passed her the knife. She took hold of it, a small smile appearing as she thought about the skills her soldier had, she gently twirled the knife like he used too and how he had taught her too. Isabelle continued Clint's work smiling as he put on a saucepan and frying pan.

They worked silently together, she actually preferred the silence, she could tell however that Clint would prefer to be talking. She took a breath in thinking, she could do small talk she thought for a moment, at least it would be something to break the awkwardness between them.

"So is there anyone your with at the moment, a girlfriend?" Isabelle asked trying to sound relaxed as she spoke but it sounded considerably forced.

She noticed that Clint didn't stop, perhaps she had read it wrong. She looked up at him seeing he was concentrating on making food. She frowned looking away maybe he still didn't want to talk, perhaps her lame apology had been so poor it hadn't actually worked.

"No." Clint finally shook his head.

"What happened to that girlfriend you had, Laura, I thought she was serious?" She muttered trying to remember if they had broken up before she had been taken by HYDRA. She couldn't recall anything but knew that it was a long time ago since she knew anything about it.

"That was nearly 10 years ago kid." Clint replied

"So no one else?" Isabelle continued to question him feeling a little more relaxed doing so.

"No." He smirked shaking his head.

"Guess its just you and me again, like old times right." Isabelle smiled not really sure what else there was to say.

"Yeah." He sighed sounding a little off about, she ignored his tone. "guess it is."

She carried on chopping he vegetables that were out. Passing them to Clint as and when he needed them. It was nice actually, spending some quality time with her bother, she did love him still, the exact same she did in her memories, nothing had changed. She felt herself smiling like a idiot, it was the first time in a while that it was a genuine smile of happiness.

"Something smells good." She heard Steve say as she turned glancing to Steve who sat down on a stool by the counter island behind her.

"Use to be Isabelle's favourite." Clint muttered as he continued to cook.

"Stir fry chicken." Isabelle muttered knowing exactly what it was. "Only Clint's version though, no take away or restaurant can compare to this." She added making Clint beam like a idiot which in turn actually made her feel good.

"There's plenty to go around." Clint said as he continued to put it together.

Isabelle sat by Steve as her stomach rumbled in anticipation of food. Steve just looked at her, she could see he was checking up on her without saying anything. She nodded hoping he would understand that all was ok. For once it actually was, this was nice, being back with her brother, having Steve close by. It was like having a little family surround her and there was nothing really to worry about that couldn't be sorted between them.

"Have we got any more leads on those smaller HYDRAS bases Capt?" Clint asked with his back turned as he started to dish out food.

"Looking into a few." Steve muttered glancing at Isabelle.

She just frowned at her friend, she was under the impression that all of HYDRA was gone, destroyed. She cocked her head questioningly, she guessed that this was how Steve got a lot of the information about her soldier but she had no idea why Clint would know about this. If HYDRA was still operating, there was a chance that he was with them, still under there control. She could feel herself begin to panic, if HYDRA was still operating there was a chance they would come after her again.

"Care to fill me in guys?" Isabelle calmly asked not wanting to sound too much on edge, letting them onto her fear.

She could see Steve look from her to Clint who was staring at the pair of them now. She watched Clint silently nod to Steve before continuing to cook.

"There are a few small groups still operating under HYDRAs name. Nothing like their previous hold but a few small factions remain. Its not anything to worry about, they don't have the resources they use too and they cannot come after you. They are still running experiments, trying to gain some sort of hold but they are failing at the moment, we are stopping them from gaining any advantage. We are going after them one by one, destroying any work or weapons they may have. Just making sure they never return like they did before." Steve gave her a short briefing. "Nothing for you to worry about."

"Let me help." Isabelle stared at her friend being deadly serious. She knew more about HYDRA than any of them combined. She could actually help them.

"No can do little fledging." She heard Tony say as he entered the room reading off of a tablet. "That smells good considering your cooking it Barton."

"Why not?" Isabelle argued getting off her stool staring at the billionaire defensively not understanding why she couldn't help. Surely she would be a asset to the team with her enhancements and she knew a lot about HYDRA, valuable information on how they operated.

"You're currently under confinement. Your not allowed to leave this facility without supervision till we know your safe to do so." Stark looked up at her deadly serious.

"Safe." Isabelle scowled not believing the words which were being spoken.

She glanced around the room to see Steve looking down at the table and Clint staring angrily at Stark. She knew then that Tony for once was telling the exact truth, something everyone else had failed to tell her. She sat back down trying to absorb this new bit of information. They obviously didn't quite trust her or her abilities if they were doing this. Part of her understood why they were doing this but they could have at least sat down and talked to her about it. She looked back to Steve seeing that he looked conflicted, she expected more from her friend at least. She had put her heart on the table last night, telling him everything and he didn't tell her about this. She put both her hands on the table as she thought quietly for a moment gathering her thoughts, all of them leading to one question.

"What do I need to do this time to prove myself?"

"It's not that easy Isabelle." Clint stopped what he was doing turning around. "You have been through a traumatic event. God knows the extent of what HYDRA has done to you and how that will affect you in the future. Your mental health hasn't been asset and until we fully understand Iz its for the best."

"What, are you expecting me to self implode or something." Isabelle frowned interrupting him. "Look it wasn't easy but I am ok, I am not in denial about what happened, it happened, I am getting over that. HYDRA are monsters who have experimented on me, taken my life away from me and I think I should be allowed to help stop them."

"And that's the exact reasons we are doing this. You were a experiment but with no written results or plans." Stark nodded putting his tablet down on the table she could see that he had been looking at HYDRA's notes about her. "You were in HYDRAS hands for months. God only knows what they did to you."

"How about asking first." Isabelle growled defensively, she felt Steve take hold of her arm getting her attention as he shook his head. "Fine." She sighed letting out her frustration. "What ever it takes to get you guys on board."

"Good girl." Stark beamed at her picking up the tablet.

"Say that again though and I will test out what results HYDRA have achieved through their experiments on you." She hissed staring at him threateningly.

Stark just laughed as he walked away, Isabelle just glared at the back of his head, he was a arsehole. She heard the clatter of utensils pulling her out of her thoughts, as Clint had pushed a bowl of stir fry and cutlery to use her direction. Steve let go of her arm looking at her before he decided to fill her in.

"It won't be for long Isabelle I promise. We just need to be sure your okay, we aren't worried how you are around others, we are just protecting you. Stark is getting some people lined up to evaluate you, it will be okay, nothing to worry about."

Isabelle just looked at her friend wishing he had told her this earlier and that she could believe all he said. Pulling the bowl of steaming stir fry closer, she suddenly found herself lacking in appetite. She forced as much as she could down to hide her true feelings. She knew she was being watched by the two men eating. Once she had finished what she could, she got up not bothering to excuse herself. Heading straight back to her room she shut the door, pressing her back against it. She could feel her blood boil at how she was being treated like a prisoner again. How people were expecting the worse of her yet again. She was angry that neither her brother or her close friends had the balls to talk to her telling her about their concerns. A gentle knock at the door, pulled her out of her anger. She turned opening the door seeing Steve standing there.

"Come with me?" Steve asked quietly breaking the silence between them.

"Why should I?" She hissed

"We need to talk." He answered not giving up. She let out a sigh knowing exactly what he meant.

She let the door swing shut behind her as she followed him out of her room knowing she needed some sort of explanation. She needed to know what they were planning for her. Also how this was going to let her look for him, if she was a prisoner again there was no easy way for her to start her search.


	41. Chapter 41

"So I have to do these tests first, let them put me through my paces, work out what exactly has changed." Isabelle stared at Steve repeating in short hand what he had told her. Her arms crossed defensively as she took in the information that he had given her. She wasn't happy at all, all of them seemed to have a hidden agenda. "I then have to have my mental state tested, talk about my time with HYDRA, I have to pass these evaluations to prove myself to them." She pointed at the door indicating the so called team. "And this is the only way I can get my freedom back."

"Yes." Steve nodded guiltily. "If it was up to me alone it would be different but the team has concerns."

Isabelle sat down on Steves Sofa looking at him as she process what he had told her, she understood his hands were bound, he had not other choice than to follow the others. She was still annoyed that when he had the opportunity to tell her he didn't, instead she got ambushed. Thinking for a moment she knew she was stuck in this situation whether she liked it or not. To be honest she hated it but considering she didn't have any choice in the matter at all it made no difference. This actually made her angry but she could use that to motivate her.

"You will let me know about anything?" She muttered her eyes boring into his, knowing she needed him to be honest with her right now as the world she expected to walk back into crumbled around her feet. "Any missions, any info collected, anything about him. You will tell me immediately won't you?"

"Always." He sighed sounding sympathetic as he put a reassuring hand on her shoulder briefly. "Look I am not going to shut you out, you were honest with me. I know that but the others don't. Do what you need to and I will try and talk to them which may speed things up. Just don't give them too many reasons to doubt you."

"Of course." Isabelle nodded. She had to be obedient to get the final outcome she wanted whether she agreed with it or not. She looked to the floor shaking her head. "Fine I promise I won't blow anything up or beat the crap out of any one including Stark. So who will have the honour of my company through this."

"Myself and Dr Banner mainly. Considering HYDRA used my blood to make you from what we gathered, we are comparing you against me to find out what enhancements they managed. Bruce has experience in enhanced people."

"The man whose a green monster." Isabelle nodded understanding.

"He was trying to recreate well me." Steve sighed thinking for a moment. "It didn't work out as he planned. What he created was the Hulk, which he seems to have control over it now."

"Ok." Isabelle nodded feeling a little better about the whole thing now she knew it would be Steve with her. "What about you know." She pointed to her stomach.

Steve just looked at her stomach before raising an eyebrow and nodding, she watched him think about what he could suggest. This was not how she would imagine she would be, stuck, trapped and possibly pregnant.

"What do you need me to do?" Steve looked at her seriously.

"Steve I know what you are like." Isabelle shook her head laughing slightly, "I can't ask you to do this."

"I am here for the long run." Steve smiled sitting down beside her taking her hand. "I will do what ever is needed, this is possibly the baby of the few closest friends I have. I am here for you and it if you know."

"Thanks." She smiled weakly looking at her hand within his. "I don't know what I would do without you, you know that right." She glanced up at him smiling slightly and shrugging.

"What are friends for." He smirked.

"So, I guess we need to find out if well its the truth or a lie." She thought for a moment letting out a long sigh. "I am going to need a couple of pregnancy tests, if you could get them for me." Isabelle thought allowed. "At least we can do that without involving any one else including doctors and go from there I guess."

"Okay, I can do that." He nodded however she could see he felt uncomfortable about it.

"Really." Isabelle stared at him. "Are you sure?"

"I will sort it." Steve pushed himself off the chair. "Look it's been a long day, head back to your room and some rest and I can speak to Bruce to see if we can start some tests tomorrow."

She just looked at Steve before nodding, she guessed he was right, slowly getting out of the chair, she headed back to her room before sitting by the window looking out at the city lights. Taking a moment to reflect, she knew what they were doing was only to protect themselves and others. She couldn't really argue about it. Perhaps it would answer some of her own questions of what HYDRA had done to her. Finally climbing into bed, she lay back, her hand absently went to her stomach. If she was pregnant she was going to have a lot of explaining to do.

This was turning more complicated as each day passed. She knew that with small isolated groups of HYDRA out there, there was the chance of her soldier Bucky being with them. She took a deep breath in as she continued to think, if he wasn't with them God only knew what had happened to him. It wasn't going to be easy to find him, which meant it was going to take time, time perhaps he didn't have. Rolling onto her side she pulled a pillow against her hugging it for comfort as she closed her eyes.

"Rise and shine sleepy head." She heard Tony's annoying voice boom above her.

Isabelle rolled over sitting up, she looked around her empty room. She rubbed her eyes not 100% sure if she imagined Tony saying it or was this a trick. She waited a moment before collapsing backwards into her pillow groaning.

"No time for naps sleeping beauty." Tony's voice echoed around the room again making Isabelles eyes snap open. "Steve and banner are waiting for you in the lab. Wakey wakey princess."

"Urg," Isabelle grunted slowly getting out of bed looking for a way to shut Tony up. She saw the telecom on the wall a light was flashing, she guessed that was the annoying device she had to thank, pressing the button she replied. "I am up alright."

She could hear Tony chuckle in response, she guessed she should change out of her clothes from the day before. Quickly showering she changed into some Lycra shorts and a matching crop top which she threw a oversize t shirt over the top.

Steve was already wired up to something when Isabelle arrived in the Lab. Isabelle just looked at the shirtless Steve while Bruce fussed around him attaching probes, it looked rather intimate. She couldn't help but admire Steve's body, he was still pretty well ripped. It was so different to her soldiers, his was so scared and damaged, while Steve's looked less worn and damaged. She guessed it was down to HYDRAs doing but it still made her think about her abilities. What HYDRA had done to the pair of them had definite consequences for the both of them, that still scared her.

"Don't mind me." Isabelle muttered looking at the pair of them thinking she had better let them know she was standing there. Trying to put on a smile but her nerves got the better of her. She shook off the bad feeling in the gut she was having, letting out a nervous sigh. "It's just Tony kicked me out of bed to watch this, not what I planned to do first thing."

"Morning Isabelle," Bruce pushed his glasses onto his nose further looking a little surprised that she was there. "Would it be possible to put the same devices on you? Ideally skin contact." Bruce seemed a little flustered about the whole thing which was rather sweet.

Isabelle slowly stepped into lab, Steve seemed a little on edge too which didn't help to calm her own nerves. She guessed it was the unknown what these results were going to tell them. She was just interested in being given some of the freedom she wanted. She complied completely, stripping out of her t-shirt revealing the skin her crop top allowed. Steve turned his back like the gentlemen he was. She smiled as she dumped her top on the floor.

"Steve it's fine, I'm decent enough and if we are going to spend this much time together during these tests you better not ignore me. The boredom may kill me." Isabelle muttered as Bruce started sticking the devices to her skin. "So what's the plan today doc, what do these do?"

"Well today we are setting up electrodes to take constant readings from yourself and Steve. These will take constant readings from your bodies to see how your bodies differ from ours." Bruce explained as he started to stick the electrodes on her body. "Basically try and let us understand your enhancements."

"What readings and how long are they on for?" Isabelle frowned glancing to Steve who had now pulled back on a t-shirt.

"Mainly heart rate, respiration, a few blood readings like oxygen saturation, blood glucose metabolism etc, there's a lot of different medical aspects to look at." Bruce seemed to be enjoying explaining the science. "It will basically see how you and Steve should differ from the normal human being considering your enhancements as well as compare you two together taking into account the obvious."

"The obvious?" Steve piped up

"Well the male and female body do work slightly differently in regards to hormones, so we won't be able to compare that." Bruce said very matter of fact, Isabelle smiled she liked the doctor, he was saying things as they were which suited her.

"So you expect me to be like Steve?" Isabelle asked

"Perhaps, maybe not. That is the beauty of science really, we can expect the unexpected. Each experiment can and does vary in its own way. You may be similar but I am currently presuming not the same." Bruce answered after thinking for a moment.

"And that's it." Isabelle found herself slightly confused, she was expecting more when Steve had explained they were running tests on her. "That's the way we are finding all of this out by these little stuck on devices?"

"No." Bruce shook his head. "We will also be putting your body through strain during this time. So we can have readings of resting phases and phases of physical activity. This will also test what abilities you may or may not possess. Majority of these evaluations will be with Steve, sometimes just you as I may have already run that test on Steve previously."

"And I thought it was going to be easy." Isabelle smiled sarcastically glancing to Steve realising that there was going to be a lot of tests, hours of experiments. She could see Steve look at her apologetically, she smiled at her friend knowing how guilty he already felt.

"Right the pair of you are all hooked up." Bruce looked to his computers which seemed to be already taking readings. "Now we are going to start with something simple. Just some gentle exercise on a tread mill to start with" Bruce pointed to the two machines. "I am just going to watch the readings while you continue to make sure everything is set up right."

Isabelle followed Steve to the treadmill, he seemed uncomfortable today, like something was off. Isabelle just followed his lead starting up the machine to a comfortable pace which was perhaps faster than the average person. Steve had yet to say a single word to her, she knew there was something wrong, it wasn't like Steve to try and at least break the awkward silence.

"You okay?" Isabelle asked knowing she needed to break this painful silence between them, considering neither of them were out of puff yet.

"Just not enjoying reliving the lab rat experience." Steve replied before glancing at her keeping his pace. "They did this initially to me after I had the serum to see how much it changed me. Before they put me into tights and onto a stage."

"And now its back to the experiments to compare us." Isabelle made the link. "I think I would rather these tests than the ones HYDRA put me through." Isabelle paused for a moment remembering where she was. "I was so young and naïve, they took that away from me."

"It mustn't have been easy being that young." Steve sounded guilty again.

"No it wasn't." Isabelle shook her head knowing exactly where Steve was going with this and the guilt he felt from self blame. "But it's not your fault."

"Its my blood which caused all this to happen to you, because of me this happened." Steve said still not looking at her. "If only I had made sure all of HYDRA was destroyed before I was frozen. Not just stopping red skull then this would have never happened."

"Not your fault Steve, it wasn't something you had control of." Isabelle repeated to him bluntly as she continued running. "I am never going to blame you for this. Okay well maybe this exact moment being a lab rat but not the rest of it."

"Good to know." Steve finally cracked a smile at her.

"Right." Bruce interrupted them as he moved around the machines with a electronic pad in his hands. "I want you to up the pace, as fast as you can go and hold it for as long as possible. I want to get your heart rates elevated, see how quickly the sensors respond to this change."

"Ready?" She glanced to Steve smirking. "Race ya."

"When you are?" He nodded.

Bruce watched them run as fast as they could for a moment before shaking his head, he moved away from them heading into another room his focus completely in the readings going into that pad.

After 30 minutes sprinting Isabelle could feel her body tiring as sweat began to drip off her skin. Her muscles were burning, however she enjoyed the feeling of the pain, it made her feel alive and in control. It brought back the memories she had, memories how HYDRA had pushed her and punished her but it was something now she felt made her stronger. She was exhausted but she could stop at any point she wanted but she wanted to push pass the pain and suffering. Like it was something to conquer. She felt the tension, stress and anger leave her body through the pain she felt. Eventually she pressed the button slowing down before staggering off the machine. She collapsed a heap on the floor before she started retching. She knew she had pushed herself too far at that moment. She felt hands upon her back, glancing up she saw Steve looking really worried.

"Isabelle." Steve was down on the floor beside her within seconds. "Are you okay?"

She could just managed a nod, as he got up leaving her for a second before returning with a energy drink. She accepted it drinking as much as she could before feeling suddenly sick again but managing to keep the contents in her stomach. Steve slowly helped her into a a sitting position but keeping a arm securely around her, supporting her in this position.

"Sorry." she apologised as the nausea passed before realising why her body was reacting in such a way, she hadn't eaten apart from that one meal yesterday. She guessed she had become so use to not eating, HYDRA had barely fed her. It had become too easy to forget to eat, not remembering she now had free access to food. "I forgot to eat this morning."

"We better get you some food then." Steve said sounding serious, she slowly stood up as Dr Banner looked up from his pad readings walking back into the room. Steve grabbed her arm supporting her weight as she wobbled slightly.

"What happened?" Bruce asked grabbing Isabelle's other arm and holding her for a moment.

"Some one is running on empty." Steve answered glancing down at Isabelle who at that moment wished the floor would swallow her up because of the attention. "She hadn't eaten since yesterday and that wasn't much then."

"That would explain some of her blood readings, I thought it might have been a malfunction but that explains it. We are done for the day, I need to make sure all the readings are calibrated properly before we start pushing you two. It would probably be worth getting Isabelle to eat something and let her recover for the rest of the day. I am here though if needed."

"Sure thing doc." Steve said before taking all of Isabelle's weight guiding her back to his apartment. Once he had sat her down he started the lecture she knew would come eventually. "You need to eat Isabelle, your already below ideal body weight, the doctors said you were malnourished, there is hardly anything to you. You haven't been looking after yourself since you have been back, you need to do at least that if your going to get better."

"It's just." She paused trying to think of how to explain that she had no appetite. HYDRA had starved her for so long, she forgot that food was readily available and she was too busy trying to get through these evaluations which had been now set. Not knowing how to explain it to her friend she remained silent.

"You need to look after yourself if your going to be any help." Steve brought over a sandwich passing it to her. "Is there something else I need to know Isabelle."

"No." Isabelle shook her head not sure what he was implying. "I'm just, this isn't easy for me Steve. I have so much to think about and consider. I have to work to regain my freedom, my friends and family. I am just." She paused looking at him not finding the words she wanted to explain what she was thinking.

"It's going to take time to adjust." Steve sighed pausing briefly taking some time to think about it himself . "But I am here, you have your friends and family surrounding you. All of us will support you and help you. We don't expect you to work through this alone Isabelle."

She slowly nodded, however her mind said otherwise. She felt like a complete outsider, something to be watched and tested on till she was trusted. How the hell did her and Steve possibly ever think of bringing her soldier here, back to this. If she was being treated like this and she was technically family or some one people knew of, then how would they treat a stranger who had done so much wrong, even if it was under mind control. She knew she was feeling low, things weren't going as planned, her body was exhausted, her thoughts only of him and God only knew where he was. She just wanted to know where he was and if he was okay. She didn't have time to think about herself and get herself through the tests which were set for her. This was not what she expected out of a life of freedom.

"Perhaps take this time to work out what is important, what you want and work towards it. Just take one day at a time." Steve broke the silence seeming to know what she was thinking of going through. "When your ready to talk about it, anything, I'm here and so is the rest of the team."

She looked to Steve knowing he had a very valid point. She needed to focus on the bigger picture, not the smaller one. Her soldier was important as she cared about him, if she was going to find him or at least know what happened to him she needed her health, freedom and hero friends on side to help her. All of that was going to take time and during that time she could work on her fitness, health and integrating herself in the team as best she could. There was no quick fix that would be solved in a day this was going to take time and patience. Eventually she was going to get there though, she picked up the sandwich taking a bite which made Steve smile at least.

"Also I have what you asked of me." Steve pulled out a paper bag which made Isabelle put her sandwich down.

Isabelle just took the bag looking inside it seeing the pregnancy test as her heart pounded, she looked up to Steve as she stared at him feeling suddenly helpless. Steve just looked at her before saying.

"Bathroom is just through there." Steve pointed.

Isabelle nodded slowly moving to the bathroom, she read the instructions before starting the test. Isabelle placed the test on the side, she waited. Her head in her hands feeling completely helpless. Part of her wanted something to keep of the soldiers, if she was never to see him again, while the other wanted non of this to be happening.

She finally looked back to the test, seeing the answer finally there. She left the bathroom tears already building up in her eyes. Steve was there waiting for her, she went into his arms and cried. Steve didn't say a world, just held onto her, rubbing her back and waiting patiently for her to tell him the answer.

"I'm pregnant." She sobbed into his chest as a mixture emotions surged through her. "I am actually pregnant."

Steve just held her tighter which she appreciated, neither of them saying anything. She pressed her head into his chest as she tried to work out what the hell she was going to do.


	42. Chapter 42

Days of testing had turned into weeks, majority with Steve, some however were done without. She preferred it when Steve was about, it offered some reassurance as well as some one to talk to and it made her feel less like a experiment. Steve of course made sure she ate regular meals now especially as she was eating for two, some times they would eat with the team however a lot of the time it was just the pair of them.

She enjoyed his company perhaps more than when they were a group, alone they could talk freely, she didn't feel compelled to put on act, to make everyone believe she was okay. Steve compared to the rest of them respected her boundaries, allowing time for her to process her thoughts and reflect on what happened herself. He was always there though, through her lows, her anger, frustration, tears and fear. He never judged or questioned her actions he just supported her the way she needed. The rest of the team not so much, they pried every chance they got, trying to get information out of her. Isabelle ignored them most of the time but the repeated questioning bugged her. Frustration and anger were still there from being house bound, not allowed to leave or do what she wanted when she wanted.

She was taking a break away from everyone out on one of the balconies enjoying the feeling of the warm sunlight on her skin as she had her eyes closed. Her mind had drifted back to him. She was remembering how it felt to be curled against his warm, muscular, strong body, how that just from being there it made her feel safe. The cool metal of his arm wrapped tightly around her not letting her move a inch off his lap. The way their bodies molded together like two bits of a jig saw puzzle, fitting perfecting. She use to rest her head in the crook of his shoulder feeling safe and loved. She could feel these memories fading, like they were becoming hazed over time, which scared her. These memories and feelings were the only thing which kept her going at the moment, even with the conflicted thoughts she had of was it real. It had felt so real and raw at the time but now, well now she had begun to wonder if it had only been because they had been forced together by HYDRA. Part of there multiple ways of manipulating them. She also wondered where the hell he was now, he had stabbed her and walked away, yes that had been part of the mind control but why hadn't he returned, did he even know she existed at the moment. Or was it that actually he didn't feel the same way any more and had actually walked away for good, leaving her to pick up the pieces. Her hand moved to her stomach, holding it, the last piece she had of her soldier at the moment.

She had slowly put on weight across her whole body which was from Steve making sure she got regular meals and ate them. She didn't look that pregnant yet, that she was thankful for though, she still had no idea how she was going to explain that to the rest of the team. She knew it wasn't going to be long till she was going to start showing which would start the million and one questions. Part of her wanted to run, get far away from everyone and everything, it would be a lot easier to go this alone than be with friends and family who may not understand. She hadn't even gotten to look into getting a doctor, which she knew was bad and potentially risking the child but at the moment it was safer not too.

"Isabelle." She heard a voice shout making her eyes snap open as she moved her hand away from her stomach to see Clint leaning against the door way of the balcony frowning. "Where were you just then, didn't you hear me calling for you?"

"No, sorry." Isabelle muttered pushing herself off the floor to look at her brother. "Why are you out here?"

"Break time is over time to do some work." He said seriously which made Isabelle frown further confused by the way he was behaving. He seemed rather uptight about something which put her on edge. He moved out of the door way into the building.

"Clint what the hell is this about?" Isabelle followed her brother not really sure why he was behaving this way or being so tense.

"Stark has gotten a doctor to come today, its not a big deal its just." Clint muttered pausing for a second to look at her. "Just a check over to make sure all is going okay with your recovery."

"Going okay." Isabelle's eyebrows rose as she knew what exactly was going on. "I am being evaluated aren't I?"

"Don't think about it like that, this doctor is only here to make sure we are covering all bases with your rehabilitation and care after you know." Clint shook his head disapprovingly. "It's just answering a few questions Iz nothing too hard."

"Well it's the truth though, they want to make sure I haven't lost my mind." Isabelle glared at him as they entered another room, she rolled her eyes at the way he wouldn't answer her. Coward she thought, if only he had the balls to actually tell her what he and the rest of the team wanted. She knew that Clint wanted to find out what happened to her in detail as much as the others. Non of them willing to wait for her to tell them in her own time though. "What else would you call getting a shrink in."

Isabelle suddenly realized they were no longer alone. She looked around the room as her eyes fell on a woman, smartly dressed, who had her notes sitting in front of her. She looked very clinical which automatically put Isabelle off her. She guessed she was right after all, this was some one here to evaluate her mental state.

"Hello Miss Barton I have been asked to do a psychiatric evaluation on you." A woman doctor said bluntly putting on a ever so fake smile.

Isabelle looked from her brother to the doctor and back again. She suddenly knew why her brother had been acting out just now. She guessed they didn't want to give her a heads up it was happening today. Just because she wasn't ready to talk to them about it, spill her guts about what happened. She hadn't been trained for this life, it had just been thrusted upon her. Then even if she had, she knew her brother would be horrified by what happened, wrap her up in more bubble wrap which was already annoying. She just glared at her brother while Clint avoided all eye contact with her.

"There is no need, I don't need to see a shrink." Isabelle glared at her brother hating him for putting her in this situation. She really didn't want to do this right now. She wasn't prepared. "I am fine, I don't need you roaming around my thoughts, thinking you will know and understand what has happened and how I think about it. There is no way you could even get close to understanding, I haven't shown any need for this type of examination, they are wasting your time and their money."

"I would never presume to understand what you have been through Miss Barton." The doctor reassured her. "You have been through a traumatic experience from the notes Mr Stark sent me and I am sure they just want to make sure that your coping as well as you say you are. Perhaps if you talked to me that would offer them the proof that they are after."

"Really," Isabelles eyes narrowed as she looked at Clint again, she let out a chuckle as she shook her head. "They could have just asked or waited for me to be ready to talk about it."

"Iz, it's just to make sure your okay, you barely talk about it to any one, how can we know what is going on in your head if you don't talk to us." Clint muttered as he sat down in a chair finally looking at her. "I will be here the whole time. There is no rush. We just want to know what happened and what your thinking."

"Great for you guys to get what you want, what about me though Clint, what about my wishes?" She growled pissed that Clint had done this to her before looking to the doctor. "What do you want me to tell you doc? I want this over and done with quickly if you don't mind. "

"Just a few questions to start with, fill in some of the gaps I have, how about you take a seat?" The doctor smiled at her sweetly as she pointed to the chair next to her brother which Isabelle ignored.

"I prefer to stand so hit me," Isabelle grumbled blanking her brother who patted a seat beside him. She crossed her arms trying to set up her defensive barriers knowing she needed to remain calm if she wanted this to go smoothly. She didn't want the doctor to catch her out or for her to say something in the heat of the moment. She watched as the doctor made herself comfortable, opening her folder. Isabelle recognized the hospital notes on her within the file, she guessed Stark wanted this to be thorough.

"You do what makes you comfortable." The doctor looked up at her before explaining her plan. "I am here just to try and understand to a point what you have been through and offer any suggestions which may help your recovery. It won't be a sign of weakness to have some help Isabelle, even the strongest of person some times needs a helping hand. At any point we can stop this conversation if you want or need too. I am not here to force information out of you, we can take our time over a number of sessions."

At that point Isabelle wanted nothing more that to walk out and leave the room. She knew however that would be a black cross against her getting out of the building on her terms, regaining some freedom. She just slowly took a deep breath in and nodded letting the doctor know she understood what she had been told.

"So I am going to start with a few basic questions about your experience." The doctor asked looking at her checklist before staring back at her. "Did they give you any drugs while you were a hostage?"

"Yes." Isabelle nodded not elaborating.

"Do you know what was given to you?"

"No they experimented on me, never filled me in what they were actually doing, they weren't that chatty about it. From what I recall I was given a number of different drugs, some had a sedative effect, others were painful but the rest I don't know." Isabelle replied trying to think about her answers.

"Any major injuries recently?"

"Stabbed to abdomen, broken arm, perhaps other minor fractures, they also use to take samples and cut open while I was conscious, I was also beaten badly a couple of times does that count." She could see the woman doctor look a little shocked with Isabelle's history and bluntness about it. She could see Clint try his hardest to hide his too. She knew he would be like this. He would think that she had merely been locked up and that was it. How little did he know about HYDRAs ways. "I had my memories wiped too the first time does that count."

Isabelle couldn't help but feel please with the slightly wide eyed expression on the shrinks face. Partly she now hoped that it would make shrink go easy on her all things considered. However knowing Stark and how driven he could be getting what he wanted, that wasn't probably going to be that easy.

"Were you scared of them?" The doctor continued, constantly writing her notes.

"Clarify them?" Isabelle cocked her head, not wanting to be caught out or tricked by a question.

"The people who did this to you, the ones who held you captive?" The doctor expanded her question.

"Yeah I was scared of them, it would have been stupid if I wasn't. They threatened to kill me a number of times, they forced me into situations which I had no control and perhaps had to do things which I did not want to do. They beat and tortured me or sometimes just threatened too to get what they wanted. I was a prisoner, treated like a toy or an experiment never a human being. I was living in terror from thinking about what they would do next."

"What did they make you do?" The doctor frowned.

Isabelle thought for a moment, she knew they forced her to make some one she loved do missions, kill and be forced to protect her. They even possibly forced two people into a relationship and into feelings that weren't really true. She looked to the ceiling for a moment thinking carefully about her answer, she knew that both of those thoughts would put her into a difficult situation. She licked her lips as she thought about what she could say.

"Iz." She heard Clint mutter sounding worried.

"I have blood on my hands." Isabelle slowly began, still thinking about the exact wording she wanted to use. "Occasionally directly most of the time indirectly. I was turned into a weapon to be used to get what they wanted. They made sure I knew how to fight and kill, it was life or death even with them, If I didn't do what they wanted they could have killed me." Isabelle looked to the floor. "I was forced into situations with my hands tied, to do things I would and do regret."

"Are you still scared of them?" The doctor started to write some notes.

Isabelle looked down for a moment, she wasn't ready to open up like this yet. She felt herself hold her breath as her nerves kicked in, even thinking about how she felt was more than she wanted right now. She glanced to Clint who looked pale and on edge. She knew if she opened up it would make life easier, the team would get off her back and she would have freedom. She thought about the doctors question. Yeah she was still scared and haunted by what happened, she would still get the nightmares which felt so real. She was scared about what had happened to her soldier, scared he would never remember her or that he even wanted her any more. She was scared that she was going to become a mother and turn into the non-existent mother she had.

"I have nightmares regularly reminding me of what they did, those scare me as I have no control over them." Isabelle thought out loud for a moment trying not to talk directly about her fears. Remember how her soldier had told her that before when her memories returned in her sleep. "But I feel safer now that I am here. I know I have nothing to fear here. The nightmares just take me by surprise I guess."

"OK that's good, it's your mind processing what happened to you, giving you time to think about that which it sounds like your doing." The doctor smiled at her warmly. "How do you feel now?"

"Frustrated, angry, worried, annoyed." Isabelle laughed as she listed her feelings. "I am still a prisoner when I told I am free."

"What do you mean?" The doctor continued to ask questions while writing.

"I am a experiment still, perhaps I am not made to kill, to fight against my will or be tortured but I am in a laboratory most days, I am trapped in this building unless I have a babysitter." Isabelle sighed hearing the irritation seep through her voice. "Its kind of like being back at HYDRA." She could see her brothers eyes widen at that comment. "Feeling like I am controlled."

"You said you were tortured, what did they do?" The doctor muttered

"Mainly cause pain physically, however they also liked to play mind games. See what you were thinking, give you hope then take it away, control ever aspect of your life so your never really you any more." Isabelle kept it vague but she knew exactly what she was talking about.

"Any sexual activity during your captivity?" The doctor leant forward in her chair. "Were you forced to do anything like that?"

Isabelle stared at the woman, it was her turn to be shocked. She never expected the doctor to need to know that or go into that topic so easily. It confused her why she would want to know a detail like that. She couldn't lie, just I case they found something in the medical report they hadn't told her, did they already know she was pregnant. Considering they had already hidden so much from her, she had no reason to nothing otherwise. If she said no right now and there was something on her medical then everyone would find out she lied. If she said she had sex during her time with HYDRA it would open a whole lot of problems. What would they all think of her then. Steve knew the truth but would they believe him if she had lied all this time.

"Why is that relevant?" Isabelle muttered trying to keep her cool hoping they wouldn't think there was a issue. She could see the doctors eyes narrow at her response. She wrapped her arms around herself as she thought what else she could tell the doctor.

"Isabelle just answer the doctor." Clint hissed, she could notice that he was staring at her wide eyed waiting for a answer.

"Mr Barton Isabelle is allowed to take her time to answer such questions. She doesn't need to answer this today." The doctor stepped in interrupting her brother.

"But I will need to answer it?" Isabelle drawled realizing what was going on. She watched as the doctor nodded yes to her question. Shaking her head in disbelief what her so called friends were putting through. "No i have had enough." Isabelle stormed out of the room not wanting to answer that question at all. She couldn't.

She knew leaving would cause more problems than just answering. It probably blew any chances she had of getting her freedom. But it was personal, it wasn't something she wanted broadcasted. How the hell was she to say that she wanted it, she loved the man she was with and them not think she was completely crazy. She decided to take the stairs so she couldn't be followed. She barged into Steve's room, hoping he was there. There was no sign of him. She paced his living room for a moment before heading to leave knowing she needed get out. She couldn't face anyone's questions or judgement. The door opened seeing a shocked Steve in the doorway obviously not expecting to find her within his apartment.

"You okay?" He asked looking concerned at the state of her.

"I need out now." She stared at him wide eyed as tears had began to form, her anxiety finally breaking through. "Please Steve just help give me some time away from here and everyone. I can't do this, I can't answer the questions they want."

"What's happened?" He frowned looking really concerned at her state of distress.

"Just too many questions, things I can't answer without telling them about Bucky and making things worse." She felt the tears roll from her eyes from the build up of emotions. "I just need time away, to clear my head Steve, please."

"Okay come with me." He nodded taking her hand and leading the way. "I know some where we could go."


	43. Chapter 43

She followed Steve as they both moved quickly down to the garage, this was further than she had gone from the living quarters of the building. He walked over to a motorbike, throwing her a leather jacket and helmet. She frowned at him as she pulled them on, she knew then what Steve had planned. He was going to break her out of her captivity, she was going to have her moment of freedom. The jacket was massive but at least would keep her bare arms warm. Excitement was rising within her, she could feel herself tremble in anticipation of what was waiting out there for her.

"Where are we going?" Isabelle asked her eyes wide waiting for Steve answer.

"A place it's a few hours from here but I think it's something you need to see." Steve answered cryptically.

She frowned for a moment but knew that Steve was not going to give her any more information than that. She trusted him enough to follow him anywhere. Steve started up the engine on the motorbike before looking at her, holding out his hand for her. She could feel her phone begin to buzz. Pulling it out she could see it was her brother, she left the phone on the hood of Starks car. She did not need him yelling at her right now. Without another thought she climbed on the back of the bike with Steve. Placing her arms hesitantly around him, feeling his muscles, she leant in to him. He drove out of the garage onto the road, Isabelle instantly felt the relief of being away from her prison of a home.

They were driving for a few hours, it was nice actually, some time for her to think. Without being asked a million and one questions about her time with HYDRA. Even if she told them all the truth, would they accept it. Probably not, Bucky had been a soldier for HYDRA, he had tortured her, he then changed to protecting her, they would make excuses calling it Stockholm syndrome or something. She could see her brother now just thinking that a man stronger than her who probably forced himself on her. Thinking perhaps she had some mind control that was making her have feelings for him.

Her mind drifted to what Steve had planned for her. She was at a lost what it could be, he hadn't really given her anything as ideas. She learnt against his back while he focused on driving, she could feel herself relax the further away they got. This was just what she needed some fresh clean air, space and quiet time to just think things over. She enjoyed the feeling of the wind in her hair, the sun on her skin as time passed by. She felt free, free for the first time in ages which made her smile.

Eventually Steve pulled over, turning around looking at her. She remembered a few of the streets, they were back in Washington. She just frowned at him not sure what the surprise was. This was not really what she had expected, to bring her back to where it had all ended.

"This isn't just it, come with me." Seeing the confusion on her face.

She climbed off the bike, pulling off the helmet and jacket handing it to Steve. He put it away before leading her to a museum, she watched as he pulled on a cap hiding his face. He kept his head low, she just followed him into the museum. Steve paid for the pair of them, he seemed to know exactly where he was going. She didn't ask any questions, not till they arrived at the display which made her realize what Steve had done. They walked into the Captain America exhibit, she just turned around on the spot, taking in the exhibit. Her heart hammered in her chest as she caught glimpses of him, her Bucky in the images.

"I thought you would like to know more about the Bucky I knew." Steve said warmly a small smile on his face. "He may not be the same person you knew but he was my best friend."

"Oh Steve, no this is brilliant." She beamed back at him. She flung her arms around her friend, some one who actually knew what she needed right at this moment a distraction from the real world. Steve welcomed the hug before releasing her and taking her hand to guide her around the exhibit.

They took their time walking around the exhibit, Isabelle watched the videos, reading all the information given, seeing her soldier laugh and smile it was great to see. He seemed so much more care free than when she knew him. She read all she could about the man she fell in love with, learning things that he may not possibly know about himself.

Both her and Steve sat down in a empty movie viewing waiting for the next screening of the propaganda Steve and Bucky had made together which they had already watched once. She listened to Steve tell her a number of stories with the pair of them in. Isabelle couldn't help but get lost in those stories, Steve was a good story teller which helped. She could tell he loved his friend and wanted him back just as much as she did. Which gave her some hope in the pair of them finding him some day.

"So why did you need to get away?" Steve frowned going off their current topic as he glanced around the empty theatre. "I didn't want to ask but..." He paused staring at her.

"Clint and I suppose Stark is as much to blame, they got in a doctor, well a shrink to evaluate my mental health and get some questions answered. I knew what to expect, it was fine, I am fine." Isabelle sighed turning to face Steve. "I don't know how many other ways I can tell them that."

"Clint just cares. He is your brother and he just wants what's best for you." Steve reassured her smiling slightly. "We all do. So what made it change, what happened that you need to leave like you did?"

"I don't know, well I do, I just freaked out. She asked me if I had any sexual activity." Isabelle glanced at him seeing that his ears had turned red. She never thought she would ever talk to Steve about her sex life. Except now he was the only person she could turn to about anything to do with her soldier, Bucky.

"Oh right." Steve muttered looking down for a moment. "It might have been a good time to mention you know, the possibility, I mean I might not know much but it's going to get obvious soon."

"Haha." Isabelle scowled at him forgetting for a moment that Steve was right. As her eyes widened in realization of what he meant. "I'm definitely not going to mention that to Clint, not yet, not how things are right now. What am I going to do Steve?" She relaxed looking to the screen seeing the soundless video playing of all the clips that Steve and the howling commandos made together, including him Bucky. Her hand went to her stomach, she was pregnant, carrying his child and he knew nothing about it. She just watched him for a moment trying to forget her troubles. "What if my medical report shows it Steve, I can't lie just in case but what if I do say I did have sexual relations which lead to me getting pregnant, they will presume i was assaulted. Then how do I explain that especially if we find Bucky?"

"I do not have a lot of experience in this but your right. I do think your right not to answer just yet. It will cause to many other questions." Steve said after a minute or two silence. "Everyone sees him as a potential threat now, some one to stop after the Washington incidence. We are the only ones who see him as someone else. Although some times I doubt myself, we don't know what mind Bucky is in, however they will think the worse even if you explain it to them."

"Yeah that was my thought exactly." Isabelle leant back watching the clips.

"Do you know what you will say?" Steve asked

"No, I will work something out." She muttered in reply shrugging looking around the empty room. "I guess we need to head back." She realized solemnly.

"Yeah." Steve nodded getting up and then helping her up.

"Thank you Steve for being a truly amazing friend and for today." Isabelle kissed Steve quickly on the cheek. "Also for being able to talk about this, I mean I would be lost if I hadn't been able to talk to some one about all this."

"I do have one suggestion." Steve glanced at her a thoughtful expression on his face. "How about we get you to a doctors now today before heading back and get you and the baby checked over."

"Steve." Isabelle shook her head, she wasn't completely sure she was ready for that. It would make it all too real.

"Come on we have a opportunity we might as well take it." Steve sighed "we also need to make sure that this baby gets everything that it needs, including medical check overs."

"Steve." Isabelle repeated feeling a sinking in her stomach start.

"I am going to be with you every step okay. What ever happens." He took hold of her hand. "Isabelle your my friend and it's my duty to look after you."

Isabelle just stared at Steve, she knew exactly what he meant. She let out a long sigh as she bit the inside of her lip. He was right, she knew she needed to get checked over at some point, slowly nodding in agreement.

Steve made a number of phone calls eventually finding her a last minute cancelation appointment and making it under a alias name he made up. Both of them sat in the doctors room awkwardly for different reasons, hers was she was about to find out more about her baby and Steve was well uncomfortable from her lack of dress just in a doctor robe. She had had bloods taken and was now just waiting for the ultrasound. She had no idea what she was going to expect for this, so many times she had heard this was a families happiest day finally seeing the person they were growing. She only felt a slight worry and dread within that this was going to show something else, something worse. The door opened and a doctor walked in, holding a clip board.

"Right Miss James" Isabelle glanced to Steve who just stared at her stopping her from saying anything different. "Your pregnant."

"Yes a few weeks I think." Isabelle replied trying to sound more calm and positive about it.

"And you are the father." The doctor glanced to Steve.

"Ah" Steve began looking a little unsure.

"It was a shock." Isabelle answered smiling at Steve, it wasn't exactly answering her question but she didn't want to explain it was his bests mates child, though his friend was currently suffering from memory loss after being a brain washed Assassin

"Do I know you?" The doctor frowned looking at Steve.

"I have one of those faces." Steve shook his head, regaining his ability to speak.

"So as I don't have your medical notes on file, no heath problems, previous pregnancies or problems I need to know about."

"I had some abdominal trauma 5 weeks ago." Isabelle muttered not sure how she would explain getting stabbed in the abdomen to this stranger.

"Trauma?" The doctor frowned

"She was in a car accident, spent some time in hospital till she woke up." Steve cut in thinking on his feet making a up a cover story. "We weren't aware about the baby then, only did a test 3 weeks ago which came up positive."

"Right, can you lay back please miss James."

The doctor sat down by the ultrasound, she felt Steve take hold of her hand which she actually appreciated. Her heart had starting beating erratically as fear washed over her. She waited as the doctor did it what he needed too. She felt a little uncomfortable as the doctor started the scan but more was bothering her, what if HYDRA had done the unspeakable to the baby. What if they had harmed her unborn child in unimaginable ways, what if the serum meant that there would be something wrong with the child. She waited realising when in movies or tv this was taking longer than normal. She glanced at Steve who was staring at the unltrasound machine frowning. She craned her head up looking at the doctor before asking.

"Is everything okay."

"Miss James." The doctor looked at her, she could see it in his face what he was was about to say. "I am really sorry but you're no longer pregnant."

"What." Isabelle exclaimed not really sure what he was trying to say.

"It looks like you may have been in early pregnancy by your uterus but from what I can see you are no longer pregnant. I believe the most likely possibility is that you miscarried at the early stages while you were unconscious and it may have been mistaken as your menstrual cycle. Have you had any other unexpected bleeding."

"No I haven't." Isabelle answered keeping it vague, she felt a sudden weight of disappointment. It wasn't an surprise though, considering she had been stabbed in the stomach only weeks ago. She lay her head back down, she didn't quiet understand why she was so disappointed, she hadn't been ready for children, let alone one bred for a purpose.

"Your blood results would confirm this as your hormone levels would have been dangerously low if you had been pregnant. They are however still high enough to stop you from going back into your normal mentstral cycle."

"Okay." She mumbled as she processed the information he told her.

"So do we need to do anything now?" Steve asked squeezing her hand as he spoke.

"Just comfort each other at the moment. I would suggest to get your bloods rechecked by your own doctor in a few weeks if you have had no signs of change." The doctor continued to explain. "I am terribly sorry I didn't have happier news."

"Thank you Doctor." Steve said nodding at him.

The doctor slowly left, Isabelle sat up glancing to Steve, she didn't really know what to say. She got up from the table moving behind the blind. Steve didn't say anything which she actually appreciated, she just wanted time to think and work out what she was feeling right now. She dressed in silence trying to process what the doctor had said, her soldier had killed their child, not intentionally but from what he had done to her. She felt her heart tighten, she held onto her stomach, she feeling herself have a little break down. Tears had started to fall down her face as she knew then she had nothing left to hang onto him with, perhaps if she had wanted it more it would have survived. She took a deep breath in, licking her lips trying to compose herself, she knew this was going to make things easier now. She wouldn't have to explain about how she got pregnant or who the father was or how she let this happen. She wouldn't have been able to cope with a baby not after all that had happened, she could barely look after herself. She stood tall taking a deep breath in, letting her head fall back and closing her eyes, she pushed the mourning emotion aside knowing she could let this affect her. Stepping out Steve stood where she had left him, she glanced at him and shook her head.

"It's for the best." She muttered trying to keep up the brave face.

"Isabelle." Steve began.

"Seriously I am fine." She smiled weakly trying to remain strong. "It wasn't the best timing and all, we both knew that and now things will be easier without this weight on my shoulders."

"Are you sure." He frowned his eyes narrowing as he watched her closely.

"Yeah, let's get home." She nodded putting on the best smile she could.

The drive back seemed quicker than what Isabelle remembered. Her mind was elsewhere, she knew she was going to be upset but this was the best for everyone. She was not really a mothering type of person, she had no example to relate too, she had nothing to work from and god knows what her and a super soldier would produce. She rested her head on Steves shoulder thankful that he had been with her. She wasn't looking forward to what was going to meet her back at the house. She knew there were going to be questions, she expected people to be mad with her. But over what, because she wouldn't talk, because she didn't want to air her private life. She felt her stomach tighten in anticipation of what she had to face.

As they drove into the garage she looked up from Steve's back seeing it was empty. She sighed with relief, at least there wasn't a welcoming party, climbing off the bike she took the helmet off passing it to Steve. He was quiet around her, she knew the reason why, he was unsure with how to deal with her or what to say, she didn't hold that against him. She followed him silently into the elevator before saying.

"Thank you for today Steve. I needed to get away for a bit and well you know."

"I am here for you any time." Steve smiled down at her. "It won't be too bad." He reassured her. She knew he didn't know what waited for her but she was glad at least there was something standing beside her through this.

"I think I may hold you to that." She laughed before being interrupted by Starks AI.

"Mr Rogers, Miss Barton your presence is required in the communal living area."

"Do we have much choice?" Isabelle muttered reluctantly, not really wanting to do this right now.

"No." The AI replied in his mono tone voice. "Mr Stark insisted."

"Thanks Javis." Steve sighed before glancing down at Isabelle. "You going to be okay?"

"I think so." She shrugged not really sure what she was going to do or say. But she knew she was going to have to face them at some point any way. The lift moved to quickly for her liking, her mind raced with the possibilities of what she was going to tell them. She could her choices were going to be limited. She guessed they were going to be pissed with her and Steve, perhaps more with Steve for breaking her out. She looked up at her friend seeing he was looking a little on edge. He knew as much as she did it was not going to be a welcome party waiting for them.


	44. Chapter 44

The doors to the elevator opened with a chime, revealing that the whole team were waiting for them, some more patiently than others. Everyone but Clint was sitting down, Clint looked pissed his arms crossed and a wild look in his eyes, there was no other way to describe it Isabelle couldn't remember seeing him like this before. She glanced to Steve who seemed to be staring back at them thinking, he didn't look as guilty as she felt right now but he hadn't been the one running away. She had no idea where this was going to go, she knew she had put Steve in a awkward position. She felt herself shrink slightly beside him, she didn't know what she was going to say to get her out of this mess. He stepped out of the elevator moving into the room with confidence, while she followed him sheepishly. Both her and Steve sat on the free sofa opposite all of them, she looked to the floor not wanting to see all their faces staring at the pair of them. She guessed that they were not impressed with either of there actions and perhaps there were going to be consequences because of this, if only they knew everything. She felt the darkness wash over her again, however much it was a blessing she wasn't pregnant she was still mourning for a child that died weeks ago. She let out a silent sigh, knowing that only her and Steve were going to be the ones who knew about this loss and the rest of the team would be oblivious to this death. Slowly she glanced up to see questioning eyes staring at her, she glanced to Steve who wasn't doing anything, in fact he looked rather relaxed about the situation.

She knew she had broken the rules, stupid rules set out by people who had no understand what she had been through. At least she was was with Steve though, they shouldn't have been that worried and angry about it. She had cooperated with them so far, yes she still didn't want to talk and tell them what happened but they should have trusted Steve in his decision. She sighed knowing what ever was going to be said, it was not going to help her get any more freedom than she had now. She closed her eyes briefly thinking about how she was going to defend her and Steve's actions.

"So what is this all about?" Steve asked bluntly not sounding a ounce nervous about the audience they currently had.

"Did you know she skipped out on a psychiatric examination today." Clint hissed his teeth gritted glaring at Steve like it was only Steve to blame. "She left mid examination during the doctors questions. We are trying to find out if she is ok while you're assisting her in avoiding this."

"Yes." Steve nodded without a hint of worry or regret. "Isabelle told me what was happening, the fact she was unhappy and her need to get away. I thought it would be good for her to get some fresh air considering she still has a restriction to leave. We can't push her to talk about things she is not ready to share. She will tell us everything when and only when she is ready, no doctor can force that out of her."

Isabelle just stared at Steve as he told the rest of the team this. She smiled slightly, appreciating the support her friend was giving her and the fact he was on her side about this. It was something she thought her brother should be saying for her if he stopped behaving the way he was right now.

"There are reasons we want her to talk Capt. We need to know what happened to her." Stark cut in looking and sounding judgmental as usual and using his annoying know it all voice, completely ignoring that she was sitting with them listening to him talk about her. "It would be the same for all of us if we had been hostage for months or altered in ways we can't explain. She is being monitored for a reason, good reasons, reasons to keep her and others safe. We don't know what has been done to her, we don't even know what HYDRA wanted from her but that means we don't know if she is a threat or not."

"She is a victim." Steve argued leaning forward in the chair looking a little horrified by what was being said. "We are treating her like she has done something wrong. When in fact she has more than cooperated with our wishes, trying to prove herself and trying her hardest to be what we want her to be. Shouldn't we just be supporting her?

"Isabelle why wouldn't answer the doctor?" Natasha calmly asked ignoring the men argue just looking at her, Isabelle glanced up seeing that Natasha was just watching her nothing else. She knew then that Natasha was was assessing her. For once she couldn't look at her friend, knowing she would see the truth. She knew Nat well enough to know she could work out if something was off.

"Because it's non of her damn business. I don't need a shrink telling me its okay, telling me what or how I should feel." Isabelle answered trying to keep her voice calm and collected. Keeping as close to the truth as she could to at least fool her friend. She wasn't going to explain herself any further, Steve was right she had done what they wanted. There was no need for them to pick apart her life so far, even her choices.

"The doctor is just trying to make sure your mental health isn't compromised." Natasha continued using the calm tone. But Isabelle could see the hidden agenda in there. "There is no reason to be ashamed if they."

"Yeah like if I was a normal person who would heal at the average rate or who would die after being fatally stabbed. What ever they did to me, it's done, it doesn't change anything now." Isabelle narrowed her eyes glancing at Natasha before cocking her head questioningly. "What is this about really?"

"Isabelle I am worried about what they did to you, what they made you do." Clint stared at her cutting into her and Nats conversation moving around the room and people in it so he knelt before her, "Your not acting how I would expect." He began trying to sound as calm as he could. "Your behaving like nothing happened."

"How you would expect." Isabelle voice raised in disbelief with what her brother was saying. "What would you expect a person who was taken as a kid, had people killed in front of her, was pumped full of go only knows what drugs. Tortured, beaten, mind control, memories wiped, forced to do things, forced into situations out of your control. Regain memories slowly and painfully, only to be thrown back into that hell again!" She leant forward not breaking eye contact with her brother as she ran though her life events briefly. "Tell me how you would expect me to cope brother?"

"I would drink." Stark looked at her eyebrows raised, sarcasm lace through his voice. He put his own beverage to his lips taking a sip of what ever it was.

"Thank you." Isabelle stood up heading to the mini bar and picking up a full bottle not bothering to look at what it was. As long as it contained alcohol she didn't care, after all that had happened today she needed something to stop her feeling bitter, angry and upset. "I think that sounds like a good idea Stark. The first sensible thing out of your mouth." She started to head to the elevator needing to leave asap. Some one grabbed her arm, she turned to see it was Steve looking really worried, shaking her head she said "don't, not now, not after today." She finally said knowing he would understand what she meant by that.

Removing her arm from his grip she broke free heading upstairs to one of the balconies, to get some air. Slumping down she opened the bottle, staring at it for a minute or two, knowing it was not going to solve any of the issues but at the moment it looked like such a good option. She just wanted to forget that she was broken, alone and scared. She shook her head putting the bottle down. She sighed looking out across the city. The sun was slowly setting, pulling her knees up to her chest she watched the orange slowly disappeared across the city.

Slowly she relaxed, she was so lost, no one truly understood her any more. No one knew what she had really been through. Even if she did tell them, more than likely she would be wrapped in cotton wool because non of them would understand what she truly needed. She wished she had him with her, the only person who understood her and what had happened. She hated the idea that he was alone out there, he had no one out there to help him while she at least had people to fall back on. She needed to find him, to help him either to adjust to this new world which would be so different now to what he had been use too or to get him away from HYDRA for good where he would be no longer a assassin for them. She had a promised to herself that she needed to keep, she would not give up, she couldn't, she needed to stay strong, do what ever she needed to get back out there and find him. Slowly she screwed the lid back onto the bottle, this was not going to be the answer, drinking the pain away was not going to help her.

She pushed herself off the floor, picking up the alcohol she headed back inside. She could hear voices, making her stop in her tracks as she cocked her head to listen. Pausing where she stood she listened into the conversation.

"They did stuff to my little sister and she won't talk to me about it. I have no idea what happened to her, I can't help if she won't tell me. They injected her with god knows what, I have no idea what they did. If that doesn't make you think something happened I don't know how else to explain captain." Clint said sounding very concerned and pissed at the same time. "She wouldn't answer the doctors question if she had any." He stopped rubbing his face looking like he was stopping himself from getting upset. "My mind is racing, I can only scratch the service of what those monsters did with her but have no idea really, there is so much she isn't telling me."

"She will tell you when she is ready." She heard Natasha say supportively.

"She could be dangerous Barton, we have to consider it, if she is hiding one thing she could be hiding another." Stark added his piece to the equation. "She hasn't told us much about her time with HYDRA. I am sorry to say it but she could be with HYDRA for all we know."

"Do you hear how ridiculous that sounds Stark?" Steve cut in his voice cold and stern. "She has told me a bit more while we have talked about other things." She felt her heart drop, was Steve going to drop her in it. "She is not with HYDRA I know it, we all do. She just wants to be treated normally and stop being interrogated constantly. We have treated her like a experiment which was all she was to them. She is struggling at the moment to find herself and I don't blame her for that. After the way we have been dealing with her, it's not going to help her. She just needs her friends and family around her right now without the questions and tests. We can keep an eye on her still even if we drop the restrictions."

Isabelle sighed relieved that Steve didn't reveal any more than he needed. Deciding she didn't want to face them again or hear any more of their conversation, she headed to her room. Sitting down on her bed she opened one of the files on Bucky. Looking at his photo she thought about him for a while, how ever bad it was with HYDRA he was something she was able to hold onto. Lying down on the bed she just stared at the photo of him feeling sorry for herself. Slowly she put the folder away placing it under her mattress, feeling the tears form within her eyes. Falling back onto her back she sighed wiping the damp tears off her cheeks.


	45. Chapter 45

_She lay in darkness, the air cold and damp around her. She couldn't see anything, she had no idea where she was or who she was with. She remembered the smoke, the flames, the shadow who moved her away from danger, who spoke her name Isabelle. But now she had no idea where she was or what had happened. She felt her fear rise within her, her body trembled._

 _She tried to move but she was strapped to the table, she felt panic rise, what the hell was happening her. Her name was Isabelle, her name is Isabelle, some one had told her that. She recited it over and over, however it still didn't make it any more real. A bight light turned on, she struggled to see what was going on. She tried moving but her body was fixed to the table. Her heart and respiration rate rose and she_

 _"They want her undamaged, this has been their first success so far so we would hate to upset them up above by destroying this specimen even if she is going to be frozen because she is a problem." The man said. It didn't take much to work out that they were talking about her. "Do what ever tests on her, harvest some eggs for store, if we need them we can use those if needed instead. No drugs we want to keep her clean."_

She _knew that what ever was going to happen it was going to hurt. the head restraint stopped her from looking at what they were doing exactly. She felt hands on her skin, only then she realised she was completely undressed. Her brain had no time to process the embarrassment she felt as fear and terror took its place. She never expected how much pain though, she cried throughout begging them to stop not understanding why they were doing this to her. What ever they were doing was like they were cutting her with glass over and over._

 _"Are we done doctor?" Some one in the distance asked._

 _"Its all yours." Came the cold reply as the clatter of instruments sounded. Confused she was left crying not knowing what she had woken up into but presuming this was hell for sure. Where else would people do this shit to other human beings, without even acknowledging them. She heard foot steps before she was Zapped with some electrical device, her body jerked uncontrollably before her vision went dark and she passed out._

Isabelle's eye snapped open, she felt some one shaking her. She sat up pushing the person away with force hearing a thump follow along with a groan. Her skin was damp, she could feel herself shake, her hair was soaked and sticking to her face. A light was switched on, she looked to the doorway to see Steve standing there looking concerned a panicked look on his face. Looking to the floor she saw Clint staring up at her rubbing the side he fell on. A shiver moved though her as she recalled the pain she endured her skin felt so sensitive from that memory. Quickly she got out of bed heading to the bathroom washing her face as she gathered her thoughts.

"What time is it?" She asked hearing her voice shake slightly as she dried her face on a hand towel. She closed her eyes as she felt the pain from that memory momentarily return making her stomach tighten.

"3.30am" she heard Steve answer his voice very gentle. "Are you okay Isabelle?"

She looked up at her reflection in the mirror, she was a ghastly pale colour as a result to that memory, shaking her head she looked away. It had taken her by complete surprise, she had never dreamt about what had happened after the Soldier, she had been alone and so scared. She always had thought she never retained anything after the memory wipe, that perhaps she only remembered her soldier because of what he had meant to her. Now though she felt like a bucket of cold water had been thrown over her after she had been slapped in the face. Bucky had tried to save her going through any of this, what he didn't know was in fact he was pushing her further into hell.

"What the hell was that?" Clint said from outside the bathroom, "Seriously Isabelle what happened just then." she could hear the judgement in his voice. He had never witnessed her having a bad dream, very few people had. She bit her lip not really wanting to go into the detail of it all, she couldn't not right now, her head wasn't in the right place to make a cover story about her soldier.

"Isabelle did you have another nightmare?" Steve sighed knowing from experience.

She didn't want to talk about it, her skin was crawling still, feeling what those monsters had done to her. Testing her to see if she was worth anything to see if she was worth keeping around. She wrapped her arms around herself as she could feel their hands on her body. It made her feel Nauseous just remembering it, she tried taking a few deep breaths but it wasn't enough. She bent over the basin of the toilet vomiting, her stomach clenching as she could still feel reminders of the pain. She pulled out her tooth brush scrubbing at her teeth, listening to the conversation outside the room.

"Nightmare?" Clint sounded surprised by Steve's question. "She was lashing about and screaming Steve that is more than a nightmare, it was like she was possessed."

"She had them before when she lived with me, it was when her not so pleasant memories were returning." Steve told him calmly, she appreciated him answering her brothers questions, while she was unfit to do so. It was the last thing she needed to deal with right now, she spat out the paste, rising her mouth out from under the tap. "Isabelle do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really." She muttered shaking her head as she wiped her face with a towel taking a deep breath in still feeling aftermath tremors through her body.

"Was it HYDRA?" Clint frowned obviously not going to drop it.

"What do you think? Isabelle replied sarcastically looking at her brother moving to the bathroom doorway. "I don't want to talk about it any more."

She knew she was putting up barriers, she just didn't want to talk about it right now. Especially not to her judgmental brother, he already had said enough, she didn't want him over reacting. She just glared up at him for a moment noticing how he stood with his arms defensively crossed. He would never understand the shit she had to live with for years.

"I can't help you Iz if you don't talk to me." Clint continued staring at her, assessing her.

"Then I guess your not going to be any help then, you might as well go back to bed." She drawled moving into her bedroom further going to her her cupboard to search for something else to wear.

"Can you talk to her Capt?" Clint mumbled as he left the room sounding hurt.

Isabelle pulled out something that she could wear, she headed back to the bathroom guessing Steve would not appreciate her changing in front of him. She got into the drier clothes before stepping out and looking at Steve who was sitting on her sofa.

"You need to talk to him at some point Isabelle." Steve raised his eyebrows, she could hear his tone, but unlike her brothers questions she felt able to talk to Steve. She turned to look at him as he continued. "Shutting him out completely will not help."

"He wouldn't understand, non of you do." Isabelle rubbed her head not really in the mood to start this discussion but knowing Steve wouldn't let it go. "You wouldn't be able to begin to understand what I have been through and had to do."

"We won't unless you talk." Steve continued to say very calmly not pushing it into a argument.

"It's not going to happen till I am ready." Isabelle glance up at him her voice airing her feelings about the matter. Part of her knew he was right but she couldn't just open up about these memories. They weren't pleasant and she was already being treated like a victim as it was. "Is there something to do around here when sleep isn't a option?"

"Fancy doing some training?" Steve asked raising is eyebrows and placing his hands on his hips. "as I am up now, I could join you."

"Yeah." She nodded knowing it would be good to work out get rid of some of the frustration she currently had.

Steve took her up to the gym before leaving her to warm up as he changed into his gym gear. It had been ages since she had trained with Steve, part of her hoped that with what she had learnt from Bucky she would be able to use these moves on Steve. Perhaps it would prove she wasn't that fragile girl they all seemed to see her as. She stretched for a moment, thinking about her recent memory. She had been so young, naïve and weak back then, something she didn't want to be any longer.

"You ready?" Steve smiled pulling her out of her grim thoughts. She stared at him for a moment standing in his gym gear.

"Are you?" She retorted a little playfully standing up getting onto the training mat. She bounced a little getting herself ready for a attack.

"Fighting talk." Steve smirked getting onto the mat. "You sound more like you again."

She ready herself for what Steve had to offer. Both of them moved around the mat, Isabelle was ready for any strike he aimed. The first few blows from either of them were just testing shots, seeing how ready they were. As time went on the ferocity of their punches and attacks was starting to show. Isabelle could feel her muscles burn, her tissue hurt where Steve had managed to hit her. Steve's attacks were calculated and well thought out. However she knew he was not pushing his strength too far.

"Your holding back." Isabelle hissed looking at Steve who seemed surprised by her comment.

"I am not going to hurt you Isabelle." Steve frowned pausing for a moment his hands lowering.

Isabelle swung at Steve managing to hit him just below the ribs while his hands were down. She could hear Steve groan, she just rose an eyebrow at him questioningly, as he looked at her confused. She kept moving looking at Steve waiting for his attack.

"Isabelle." He shook his head.

"Steve come on, make it real." She stared at him seriously. "Let's not pretend."

"Why?" He looked at her cocking his head.

"Please Steve, I just want something to be real." Isabelle sighed fed up of talking about it. "I want to know I can do this. That I am strong enough to face this alone. To prove myself to you and everyone else I do not need to be wrapped up in cotton wool."

"You will never be alone." Steve shook his head frowning at her for a couple of moments. "Okay," he finally nodded. "You want real."

Isabelle looked at Steve, she nodded knowing what Steve meant. She felt Steve starting to actually hit her hard. She enjoyed the feeling of some one actually talking her seriously. It hurt, a lot, every time his blows connected to her body. She eventually managed to work out Steve's rhythm, where as the last time they trained together he got in a lot of blows and blocked hers. She now could read his body language, tell on occasions where he was targeting and stop him before she set up her own moves.

Both her and Steve were covered in a sheen of sweat both of them moving around each other just out of arms reach. Isabelle went for a kick move aiming for Steve's head, Steve blocked it with his arm before grabbing her leg, spinning her and letting her crash to the floor. Isabelle grunted as she hit the deck, she rolled away and back onto her feet. Steve had no time to react to her launching herself at him. She wrapped her body around him grabbing his arms in the process. She yanked him to one side this gave her just enough momentum to unbalanced Steve who staggered slightly, not expecting her to use her weight this way. She freed her arm from his and pushed away from him as Steve started to fall backwards. She felt Steve wrap his other arm around her, making her fall with him. They both hit the mat hard, groaning as Isabelle tried to rolled away to only find Steve rolled with her landing firmly on top of her. She managed to keep her arms out of his however now being pinned with 240lbs of Steve.

"Steve your crushing me." She panted not being able to catch her breath.

"You give up?" He said she could hear the tone of his voice, he was playing her. She was not going to let him beat her like this.

Using her elbow she struck him in the hollow of his neck, she remembered Bucky telling her to do this if it was close combat with no weapons. She heard Steve take a gasp of breath, it obviously had its desired effect. She used all her strength to push Steve off of her as he rolled she followed him. She used her legs to trap is arms and it meant it kept her hands free and out of the way of his attacking legs.

"No." She shook her head looking at him. "So do you give up?"

Steve smiled nodding, she climbed off Steve sitting on the mat as he sat up rubbing his neck. She took a couple of deep breaths, her body was in a serious amount of pain which she strangely liked as it made her feel alive.

"Want a coffee?" Steve asked pushing himself up onto his feet.

She nodded Steve moved over to her holding his hand out for her to pull herself onto her feet. She looked at Steve, seeing a couple of red bruises forming where she could see skin. She had actually just taken on Captain America and didn't end up in hospital, that was definitely an achievement which made her smile. She followed Steve back to his room, Isabelle collapsed on the sofa as Steve made the coffee in his personal small kitchen.

"You've changed your methods." Steve stared at her as he poured the two cups of coffee.

"I had a patient teacher." Isabelle laughed lounging on the sofa, her whole body hurt like hell but it was what she wanted, needed even. It made her feel alive, not frozen in time. "He was good at keeping me focused. If he caught me distracted he would taunt me and make me so damn mad, I had to prove myself against him."

"Did he teach you much?" Steve frowned getting up

"Yeah. Knife work mainly. It helped with my escape, he made sure I knew how to defend myself." She muttered thinking about it for a minute. "I didn't kill either, I had control. I felt like I had control of me. It was the first time I actually knew what I was capable of and how much it was down to my decision."

"Confidence in what you were doing." Steve said making her nod, he had a valid point, he passed her a mug of coffee. "He did a good job in teaching you to protect yourself.

She smiled up at her friend realizing he was right. He had given her a confidence in combat, in her decisions, he had tested her, he gave her something to fight for. She had the answers about her past, now she knew what had happened she understood herself a little better. Smiling she took a sip of the coffee enjoying the satisfaction she felt right now.

"You ready to talk about your dream yet?" Steve asked sitting down.

"It was pre being frozen." Isabelle shrugged trying not to really think about it in too much detail. "They took samples from me while I was conscious without any analgesia, in case they were never going to wake me I guess."

"Oh." Steve looked at her, she could see the momentary look of horror on his face which he covered quickly. She appreciated that he at least tried to cover how he felt. "Isabelle your going to have to talk to the others before long." He said firmly.

"I know." She nodded. "I just don't feel ready too yet." She looked to him, staring into his blue eyes. "But I don't know when I am." She felt her walls slowly crumble away, Steve moved quickly so he was sitting beside her, his strong arms wrapping around her as she let out a sob. She held onto him tightly needing the comfort which he provided as she let her emotions spill out after being caught off guard by that nightmare.

"It will be okay Isabelle." Steve sighed placing a caring kiss to the top of her head. "I promise you."


	46. Chapter 46

Isabelle woke from under a blanket, her head resting on a cushion, her body was aching all over. Slowly she propped herself up on her elbows, looking around remembering she was in Steve's apartment. She felt wiped, rubbing at her gritty feeling face, she got up moving over to the kitchen washing her face in the sink before sticking turning the coffee machine on. She leant back against the counter, trying to work out when she had fallen asleep, she couldn't really remember. She could recall having the emotional break down in front of Steve, everything that had been bottle up over the last few weeks all spilling out. The nightmare, the miscarriage, the way she was being treated and her soldier. Steve had just held her, not saying anything but holding her tightly, making her feel safe and cared for. The multiple emotions she was going through unleashed as the armour she had been putting up had been stripped away by that one dream. Then again perhaps it hadn't been the dream really that had done all the work, she knew that finding out she was actually pregnant weeks ago, that had something to do with it. She had been pregnant and the injury she had received after her soldier had stabbed her meant she had lost it. She could feel the grief wash over her again, she had tried not to think about it at all, hoping it would just go away but she knew she needed to accept that she had lost a baby. Her baby, her and her soldiers baby, taking deep breath she wondered what she would ever tell the soldier if they found him. Did he remember her telling him that she was pregnant and if he did how the hell would she explain that it was his hand that meant she had lost it. She thought back to the attack on Washington, standing in front of him, in the middle of their fight.

 _"You need to stop this, think just for one minute." She threw her knife down on the floor. Knowing it was stupid idea she just needed him to see sense, let what ever fog that was clouding his mind to clear. "Please I don't want us to fight, I don't want any of this, please I love you, I am pregnant with our child."_

 _He paused for a moment, just long enough to make her heart skip a beat. Perhaps he knew her after all. She watched him as he stepped closer. She could see he was thinking, she prayed that her words were working. He then strikes again, catching her off guard she felt him grab her. Twisting her into his body so she was firmly restrained._

She had told him that she was pregnant and there was that moment of hope that he understood. She closed her eyes, maybe that is why he hadn't come looking for her or attempted any contact. If he was aware of who he was again, then he would know that he had nearly killed her and his child, that was more blood on his hands and enough to drive him away. She shook her head, knowing that she would have to find him and she would have to tell him the truth about what had happened, regardless of how much that may hurt him.

She couldn't imagine what this would be like if Steve hadn't have been around for her like this. The only person she felt that she could be completely honest with. Pouring a cup of coffee she remained where she was looking out at the spectacular view of the city below. A city full of life and freedom, something she still didn't really understand the meaning of yet. She heard a door shut, making her look up seeing Steve had come out of his bedroom, his hair was wet, he looked to the sofa before glancing up seeing her. She could see the bruises had developed some of them spectacular.

"Morning." He smiled

"Hi." She replied looking away feeling slightly awkward. "I put some more coffee on, hope you don't mind. How long was I asleep?"

"Barely a hour." Steve answered moving into the kitchen. "How are you feeling?"

"Better perhaps." She shrugged. "I don't actually know." She then shook her head. "Then again." She watched Steve walk over and pour himself a coffee, he stood opposite her and waited for her to continue. "I guess there is a lot for my head to process."

"Its going to take time Isabelle." Steve muttered. She just nodded knowing her friend was right, this wasn't something she could get over in a heart beat. This was going to take time and work. "Things would be easier if you at least talked to the others, I am not saying tell them everything but, just something would be better than them questioning you all the time." He paused watching her. "Come on lets get some breakfast with the others." Steve smiled putting his mug down.

Both Isabelle and Steve had moved to the main kitchen area to eat breakfast. The pair of them must of looked a state as they were both sporting some spectacular bruises from there earlier spar. Isabelle was pushing some cereal around the bowl, still thinking about what Steve said. She hadn't bothered to shower or change, she was too hungry to care about what they looked like. Steve had the start of cracking black eye, her cheek bone was throbbing, her arms were covered in bruises where she had blocked Steve's attack, what ever marks or injuries they gained during their training, she knew they would be gone in a hour or so.

"You do need to talk to Clint, you were unfair on him last night, he is only worried about you." Steve said before taking a bite of toast.

"I don't see how it's going to change anything." Isabelle sighed. "He won't understand."

"No he won't unless you help him too." Steve argued with her shaking his head. "He is your brother Isabelle, your family. Look I am here whenever you need, you know that. Just let Clint be there too, he does really care!"

Slowly she nodded, she knew what Steve was doing and part of her appreciated it the other wasn't sure that he was right on this one. Clint had been an ass but he was her brother that was something Steve was right about. She heard people approaching using hushed voices, she guessed it was because she was in the room. She ignored them knowing that it was going to happen, she glanced at Steve who was watching her response. A small weak smile appearing on his face which confirmed her thoughts. She just rose here eyebrow questioningly at him which he responded with a shrug.

"Jesus what the hell have you two been up too or dare I ask?" Isabelle heard Stark say in a amused tone. She turned to look at him with a glare not liking what he was was implying. "Just saying neither of you look pretty to look at."

"What happened?" Bruce asked immediately examining the pair of them, Isabelle obviously had something on her face as Bruce seemed to be examining her cheek intensely.

"Just some harmless sparing with no restraints." Steve answered casually for the pair of them.

"Harmless wouldn't have been my first choice of wording." Bruce turned his attention to Steve.

"Morning sis." She heard Clint say, she glanced to him seeing a shocked expression obviously as he just noticed the bruises everyone was going on about.

"Clint." She replied looking back down at her bowl. She took a deep breath in she knew she needed to talk to him, resolve there issues. Steve was right there was no need to push him away. She picked up her bowl of cereal, getting a supportive smile from Steve as she went over to Clint. "Clint can we have a talk please, in private?"

"Sure." He nodded glancing around at the others.

She glance to Steve who nodded approvingly as she was guided by Clint out onto the balcony. She waited till the door was shut till she looked at him. He stared at her awkwardly for a moment, she had no idea how to start this conversation with him. She looked at her cereal stirring it within the bowl trying to find the word to explain how she felt.

"You look like shit." Clint finally commented

"Either lack of sleep or that I went one on one with Captain America." Isabelle shrugged trying to smile and sound more relaxed than she felt. "Look I am sorry about last night." Isabelle started breaking the ice. "Last night was a bad one. I just feel like I am constantly being judged by you and the whole team except Steve, he has seen it before and knows when not to ask any more about it. All of it is making it harder for me to open up to you and the others." She twisted the truth slightly. "Why do you want to know what happened to me. It's done, it's over, there is no need to keep going over it. It's never going to change the past."

"I just want to know your okay." Clint muttered looking out across the city. "Your shutting me out Isabelle, how can I understand what you have been through, why your the way you are if you don't give me something."

"I don't think I am going to be the same sister you once knew. Nothing's is going to change that, not even telling you." Isabelle sighed easing herself down onto the floor knowing this was going to take some time. "But I think I am okay with it now. I don't need to pretend I am that innocent young girl who got taken. I am different now and I have accepted that its time that you do."

"Isabelle its not that easy." Clint shook his head.

"Then try making it easier." Isabelle snap. "What the hell will make you get off my back?"

"Would you answer me one thing." Clint turned to look at her seriously. "Please just this one thing."

"Perhaps." She shrugged eating her cereal guessing what was to come, which meant lying to him. "Depends what it is though."

"Did they." Clint paused closing his eyes. "Were you sexually assaulted while you were held by HYDRA."

"What makes you think that's?" Isabelle knew the answer to that but she needed him to tell her.

"There were hormones in your blood." Clint replied honestly, which she sort of appreciated.

Isabelle looked to the floor not really sure what she could answer. She wasn't ready for her brother to know about the miscarriage, not to know about that part of her life yet. She took a deep breath in knowing she needed to lie to her brother but perhaps the lie was to protect him from the truth which would hurt more.

"No I wasn't sexually assaulted. I don't know what HYDRA had planned for me, I don't really want to think about it. They weren't interested in me like that though. I don't know what the hormones were or why they are in my system, I never got told what they had planned." Isabelle stared at him hoping perhaps this would calm everything down without talking much more about it. She wasn't lying to him at least, she was never sexually assaulted by her soldier against her will, it was consensual.

"That's something I suppose." Clint muttered not sounding as pleased as she would have expected considering her answer.

"Clint you don't need to worry about me." Isabelle cut in knowing something was still bothering him from his tone. She watched as Clint lean on the edge of balcony. She guessed this was her moment to tell him what she wanted. "I am okay, I am just fed up with these constant questions and tests. I need this to stop Clint, it's not helping any of us. Surely there can be another way to do all of this, to keep an eye on me but not keep me a prisoner in my own so called home. "

"Perhaps your right." Clint turned to look at her as he crossed his arms. "It's not just me you need to convince, it's the team. We need you to tell us about your time with HYDRA, let us know what you have been through. Perhaps then we can then put a stop to the tests and the questions."

"Clint." Isabelle felt her chest tighten with the anxiety that idea brought.

"Look non of us understand what happened because we don't know." Clint looked down at her before he crouched down beside her to look at her eye to eye. "Once you have told us that's it, over. I am sure I can persuade them to let this go and lift your restrictions. Look Iz it will answer a lot of unanswered questions, it will stop the others being suspicious that your a HYDRA spy, weapon or something."

"Is that what you think?" Isabelle looked at him as worry flooded her.

"No." Clint shook his head. "I just see you as the victim of evil people but you can at least understand people's concern when you look at it from their view."

Isabelle looked away, she could see his point exactly, she knew she was going to have to lie her way through some of it, well most of it. She was going to have omit anything with her soldier and make up something to go in between. She took a breath in holding it for a moment, she looked to the floor. She guessed this was the price she was going to have to pay to get her freedom, a chance to find her soldier. She didn't like the idea of lying even if it was for the good of some one she loved.

"Fine." She said reluctantly not looking at her brother as she clasped her hands in front of her. Twisting her fingers together as she tried to push the worry within her away. "I will just tell them what I remember, that's it."

"I will be there and it won't be under pressure i promise, we will keep it a relaxed environment." Clint told her, she guessed he was trying to make her feel better. However a sickening feeling was growing in her stomach though which didn't ease her apprehension. "I will let the others know."

All she could do was nod, she could feel the fear and anxiety within her increase. She waited till her brother had left her alone. She got onto her feet pacing the balcony as she thought of reasonable explanations of why HYDRA did what they did to her this time. How would she get around the fact that HYDRA just wanted to control their asset using her. She heard a cough at the door seeing Steve in the doorway of the balcony.

"Are you okay?" He asked stepping onto the balcony. "Clint has told me what you have agreed too."

Isabelle felt all her bottled fear and worry come to the surface. She felt the tears come to her eyes before she had a chance to stop them. Steve immediately wrapped his strong arms around her. She melted into his arms welcoming his hug. Steve was some one she could rely on at this moment in time, the only person who knew the truth and understood.

"I am going to do what is right." She looked up at him hoping he understood her hidden message. She didn't know how many prying ears were about as she remembered Steve's warning before. She would not mention Bucky, not tell a soul about what her and Steves plan was. She saw Steve smile down at her, she knew then he understood her which made her relax.

"Am I interrupting." Natasha stepped through to the balcony making both Steve and Isabelle let each other go. She could see a blush rise of Steve's cheeks she just looked away not wanting to catch his eye at that moment.

"Not at all." Steve looked to the red head.

"Just wanted to say the team is gathered. When your ready Isabelle." Nat looked at Isabelle who nodded feeling that tightening feeling again.

Nat left the pair of them on the balcony, Steve placed a hand on Isabelle's shoulder squeezing it before he left. Taking a moment Isabelle turned looking out over the city, she watched the people move around like ants. She knew what she had to do.


	47. Chapter 47

Isabelle sat on the sofa alone, she looked about the room full of the people she knew. She could see their stares, there looks of disbelief and horror from what she told them, her eyes drifted to Steve who didn't look that way, he seemed to be proud of her. Only her and Steve knew however the story was so much worse. She could see his sympathetic look from across the way, knowing how hard this was for her. No one had said a thing since she had finished. Not that she really expected them to have comprehended what had really happened. The headache she felt from the tension within and the tightening feeling in her stomach was horrible. It had brought it all back. The pain, the suffering and distress she had been through. She had to tell them the misery she went though, not including the only happiness she felt there by not mentioning her soldier Bucky.

"Well that was." Stark began looking speechless for once.

"Isabelle." Nat stared at her wide eyed. It was the first time Isabelle had seen such a look on her face. It only made her feel worse.

Glancing at her brother who had not spoken, she noticed how pale he looked. She knew a few of the possible 101 thoughts running through his head. She looked to the floor not really wanting to go through many more questions. She had been through enough today, yesterday or the past few years come to think of it. She twisted her fingers within her hand not wanting to think about what had happened. Now after speaking about it, it made it feel so fresh, like her wounds had been torn open once again. She just wanted to leave this in the past where it actually belonged behind a closed door.

After a few minutes of silence, she took a deep breath in knowing the outcome she wanted from her opening up. She looked up gathering the courage to say what she wanted the most.

"So I can help now." Isabelle stared at them, only realizing how this may have helped her cause. Perhaps now she would be able to search for him, her soldier and be reunited. "Can I be part of the team and help."

"Supervised I guess." Clint nodded finally speaking but still not looking at her. "Unless the doctor has anything to add."

"From all the tests I have done, Isabelle would be best suited to be partnered with Steve if she is to be supervised. With their enhancements being similar in nature. They will be able to keep up with each other." Bruce explained calmly. "And they can obviously handle what each other have to throw."

"Captain." Clint looked to Steve. "Are you okay with this."

"I can't see it being a issue." Steve glanced to Isabelle as he agreed, she could see that he was completely fine with it.

"Well we are all agreed." Stark spoke up getting off the chair he was sitting in. "Welcome to the avengers Isabelle though we will have to work on a name for you. Isabelle is just so bland."

"No thanks." Isabelle stood up shaking her head, trying to avoid the stares. "If you will excuse me."

She knew she needed to get away from them all, she headed straight out of the communal area, passing the bar where she secretly picked up some bottles of spirits and headed back to her room. Collapsing in a corner of her room, feeling the tears start again, she grabbed one bottle of booze she had taken from Starks stock. She ran her hands against the cool glass of the bottle, thinking for a moment. She knew this would not solve her problems but she just needed to clear her head right now, forget just for a moment, she was tired feeling this way. Opening the top of it she placed the bottles rim to her lips and started to drink the clear alcohol. She knew this perhaps wasn't the best idea she had but she needed the pain she felt at the moment from talking about it to disappear. Alcohol seemed like the best choice to make that pain go away.

 _She lay in his arms, feeling his skin against her own. Her eyes were closed as she took in his scent, enjoyed the warmth of his hold. His warm hand gently ran up and down her arm, while his metal one was holding her tightly against him._

 _"Tell me about your life before here." He said quietly, his breath warm against her neck._

 _She could feel the frown form on her face, he had never ask such a question before. Neither of them speaking about there life's outside of this world. She thought for a moment what to say. It seemed so long ago that she was part of that life, it wasn't her any more though._

 _"I have a brother." She replied not really knowing what to say. She didn't want to give too much away getting Clint into any trouble. She didn't know if they knew about her brother being part of a secret organization. If they did perhaps they would target him, perhaps kill her, or use her against him._

 _"Tell me about him." He muttered._

 _"He's older." She thought for a moment, working out what could say. "We had a argument before I was taken. I said things that I didn't really mean. He was just trying to protect me like he always did." She felt a tear run down her face remembering what he had said, how he cared. "I know I am never going to see him again."_

 _She felt his arms tighten around her as he forced her to turn and look at him. She felt so ashamed talking about petty feelings, as she closed her eyes not wanting to look at him. What she had been though, what had happened was so much more. Here she was crying about how she missed her brother, it was stupid. She felt him kiss the paths of the tears off her cheek._

 _"Shhhh." He whispered against her ear. "It will be okay, I promise."_

 _Finally she let out a sob as he held her crying against his shoulder. She let him hold her and comfort her in this moment of need._

"What has she done." She heard a angry voice interrupt her memory, it was Clint. She was suddenly moved onto her side. "She's drunk. You can't get drunk can you captain."

"No but we are not exactly the same. I have seen her get like this once before when SHIELD were helping her memories return." Steve voice joined Clint's, she could hear the concern and pity in Steve's voice. "She left the hospital before any one could stop her, I waited back at the flat and well she stumbled home with a bloke trying to take advantage."

"She did this before and you never said anything." She could hear the rage now from Clint.

"Today was hard on her Clint. This is just the result of what we have put her though. To talk about it doesn't come easily for her. I should have foreseen something like this happening." Steve calmly replied.

"How much did she have." Clint's voice paused. "What 4 bottles of spirits. She could have taken some else God knows what she has been hiding in here." She could hear the panic set in his voice.

"It doesn't look more than just drinking. She will need water and perhaps pain relief from the hang over. If I remember correctly she will be suffering when she wakes." Steve muttered, she could feel herself being moved but not able to really tell how.

"I will go and find Bruce." Clint replied. "Get her to check her over."

She heard a door open and close. Isabelle was barely conscious, she felt Steve haul her up onto her feet dragging her away from her resting spot. She was placed down on a cold floor before she heard water being released. She felt the cold shower water hit her clothed skin. She opened her eyes seeing Steve standing above her his arms crossed. Pushing herself to her unsteady feet she stared at him.

"Seriously Steve." Isabelle pushed her wet hair off her face stumbling slightly.

"Did you take anything else?" Steve asked grabbing her shoulders now getting wet from the shower spray aswell as he stared at her being deadly serious. "Did you take anything else apart from the alcohol."

"No, I just wanted this to go away." Isabelle shook her head running her hand through her wet hair. "I want it all to go away. I lost the baby Steve, I le."

"This, drinking is not going to help." Steve turned the water coming from the shower off. She stood in the cubicle dripping, her clothes were completely soaked. "How can I rely on you to help me with Bucky if your going to pass out drunk when things get hard."

She looked at him, she knew he was right. Tears formed on her wet face, Steve pulled out a towel wrapping her tightly in it as she sobbed. Steve held her against him as she cried, his own clothing getting wet in the process. The memory and talking about what happened it was too much.

"It hurts Steve."

"What does." Steve asked holding her his hand brushing her wet hair off her face gently while rubbing her back comforting her.

"The past." Isabelle muttered into his hold.

"It will get better, we all have things we have to live with but it get easier I promise." Steve sighed his hand cupping her cheek looking at her. "We have to stay strong for those we love ok."

Isabelle nodded knowing exactly what Steve meant by staying strong. The doors opened again, Clint walked in with Bruce who carried a bag. Steve guided her out of the bathroom to face them.

"Capt." Clint looked at her

"Just alcohol." Steve answered calmly still keeping hold of her. "We pushed her to tell us about what happened to us. For her to talk about painful memories. We should have expected consequences from these actions Clint. She doesn't need to talk about it any more, we just need to support her right now, not to give her a hard time."

Isabelle closed her eyes. She appreciated Steve stepping in and covering up for her. Steve slowly sat her down on the sofa in her room, he kept the towel tightly wrapped around her. Bruce did a full check over without asking her too many questions. She remained quiet, her head started to pound, this hadn't been a such good idea after all.

"She will be fine." Bruce said as he stood up. "She will probably have a handover but there is nothing to worry about. Her body is able to cope with the quantity of alcohol she consumed."

"Thanks Bruce." She heard Clint say, Isabelle wrapped the towel around herself not really understanding what all the fuss was over. "Seriously Iz. What is going on."

"You made me relive it." Isabelle mumbled. "You made me go through it all again."

"Iz." Clint looked at her.

"Leave me alone." She turned her back on him.

"Iz." Clint repeated.

"Please just go." She hissed.

Isabelle stumbled back into the bathroom, picking up her PJ's, she slowly and unsteadily started changing. Meanwhile Steve and Clint talking outside, she could hear the worry in Clint's voice.

"What now Cap." Clint asked

"Let her sober up first, its just the booze and pain talking." Steve answered. "I will stay with her tonight, make sure she doesn't do anything stupid. Its just a reaction to her memories, she has been through a lot but she is tougher than we give her credit for."

"You will call if she needs anything." Clint sighed.

"Of course." Steve agreed.

"Thanks Capt."

A door opened and closed, she guessed Clint had gotten the message. Slowly Isabelle unsteadily made her way back into the room, Steve was sitting on the corner of her bed waiting for her. She felt a sudden pang of guilt as she realised she had probably made things worse not better with her brother again. Steve just looked at her before shaking his head.

"Did this help Isabelle."

"I just needed to be free." Isabelle muttered.

"I thought you might have learnt your lesson after last time." Steve replied.

"Well I at least stayed in and got drunk than around strangers who want to take advantage." Isabelle smirked as she collapsed back on her bed to see that Steve was less than impressed with that comment. "I am sorry."

"Get some sleep and we'll talk about it tomorrow." Steve told her as he went to get up off the bed.

"Stay." She mumbled grabbing hold of his arm.

"Iz." Steve shook his head. "I don't think that is a good idea."

"Steve I don't, I am not going to jump you again." Isabelle looked up at him. "I don't see you like that. I just, I don't want to be alone, I don't want any more nightmares."

"Iz I can't stop them from coming back." He answered truthfully.

"I know that, but you can protect me from them." She said calmly. "Please."

She could see the conflict in his face, she pulled the blankets over her laying down, watching him. Slowly he kicked off his shoes laying down beside her but keeping his distance. She rested her head on her pillow closing her eyes relaxing.

"Thank you Steve." She mumbled sleepily.

 _He was there, standing there in front of her, no one else about, just them out in the open fresh air, he looked exactly the same as she remembered. His blue eyes were fixed on her, his face was stern as he didn't move. She moved forward slowly not wanting to scare him away, she got close enough to touch him when she paused, not wanting to do anything sudden he would react too. Staring at him hopefully, she hoped that he remembered her._

 _"Isabelle." His smooth voice said._

 _A huge smile appeared on her face, she flung her arms around his neck as holding onto him. He smelt the same, that musky smell that was only him, her body just moulded itself against him. Her heart swelling just by being back in his arms. She was about to pull back when she felt the pain in her abdomen, stumbling back she saw the dagger in her abdomen, blood saturating her top. She looked up at him horrified, as he stepped closer to her. She tried stepping back but stumbled falling onto her back, she clutched at her abdomen trying to stop the pain and bleeding._

 _"Please no." She begged looking at him. "I love you."_

 _"Your my mission." He growled pulling out his hand pistol._

 _Her eyes widened as she looked down at its barrel, waiting for him to pull the trigger, tears flowing down her face as she realised her fate. Bang!_

Isabelle went to sit up but found herself in some ones arms, she looked up seeing Steve holding her, he looked absolutely shattered. She pushed him away for a moment, her head pounding. She had no idea what that was, that was no memory she knew that much.

"Memory?" Steve frowned

"No a nightmare." She sighed shaking her head slowly. "I was with him, I had found him and he killed me."

She then remembered that she was in her own room, looking about quickly to see if there was any obvious monitoring devices close by before turning back to Steve panic stricken.

"All recording devices have been disabled, that is why no one was able to monitor you drinking yourself into that state." Steve reassured her.

"Oh." She sighed. "So yeah, it wasn't a memory but a actual nightmare."

She could see Steve close his eyes for a moment as he took a deep breath in. She scooted back in the bed sitting with her back to the wall. She had never had a actual dream like that before, where her mind twisted her own memories to make something worse.

"Isabelle this is a possibility I have been thinking about." Steve glanced to her.

"What?" Isabelle exclaimed then placing a hand on her pounding head.

"What if we can't help him, have you thought of that?" Steve said quietly passing her a bottle of water and some pain killers. "We have to consider that if he is dangerous to the people he knows, he could be a danger to others."

"What are you saying Steve?" She asked as she necked the tablets and water given to her.

"Perhaps we have to be kind and save him in another way." Steve looked at her seriously. "I don't want this to happen, as much as you don't. But what do we do if he is still dangerous, we can't lock him up forever."

"I can't believe we are discussing this." Isabelle pushed herself out of bed getting to her feet. "Steve there is good in him, I know it."

"We have to be realistic Isabelle." Steve shook his head watching her.

"So you're giving up?" Isabelle turned to look at him her hands on her hips.

"No." Steve shook his head. "I just want you to be prepared of all the possibilities. I won't be making that decision easily Isabelle, he is my friend and I just want to do right by him."

"I can't do that Steve, not to him, he saved me from hell." Isabelle looked away from Steve. "He protected me to try and find peace within after all he had done. He didn't want me to suffer like he did with blood on my hands."

"I am not asking you to do anything, If I have to make that call, I will be the one doing anything. I just want you to be ready to have to face that." Steve explained slowly and calmly. "Its been something I have had longer to consider but I don't want to lie to you."

"Steve I couldn't." She sat down beside him on the bed. "However much I may know the reasons why I still couldn't."

Steve pulled her into the hug, she let out a sigh thinking about what Steve had just told her. She knew it wasn't easy for him to even consider it, her soldier had been his friend long before she was even born. He perhaps knew the person her soldier once was and perhaps knew better what that person would want. She only knew her soldier didn't really want to be a asset. Steve held onto her a couple minutes before letting go, she sat up looking at him.

"I better get washed and changed." She sighed. "I feel like crap."

Slowly sitting up she pushed herself out of bed padding her way to her kitchen, strangely she could smell coffee. When she looked up she saw Steve sitting on her sofa reading some folders. Stopping she stared at him not expecting him to still be here. Steve looked up from the folder smiling at her.

"Feeling any better." He asked raising an eyebrow at her.

"Like hell. Please don't say I told you so." Isabelle shook her head moving to the kitchen counter and pouring herself a coffee. "I don't need a lecture about drinking Steve."

"How about a trip first." Steve asked putting his folder down. "Instead."

Isabelle stopped herself taking a sip of the much needed caffeine she needed, she placed the mug down hoping she had heard right. Moving over to the sofa Steve was sitting on she stared at him.

"Trip?" She frowned.

"Well even after last night the team are happy to continue like planned. So I was thinking there is some one I would like you to meet and I may have some leads on Bucky." Steve leant back looking at her. "I will tell the team its a training exercise however instead we will make a start on these leads."

"What leads." Isabelle felt her heart race.

"Nothing directly to him but could be close. There are some ex HYDRA bases I want us to scope before the team goes in."

"Ok, how long."

"Few days. I need to know that your okay Isabelle. I don't need you having a melt down on me while we are on a mission." Steve watched her carefully. "Last night was a one off wasn't it."

"Steve." Isabelle shook her head.

"I need you to be honest Isabelle with me." He persisted

"It was just the, going through it all yesterday Steve. It won't happen again." Isabelle answered looking at him. "I promise."

"Good, you better pack. I want to be away from here by mid day." Steve stood up taking the folder with him.

Isabelle headed back to her room, throwing some clothing into a back pack. She showered and dressed in jeans and a long sleeve loose top. Heading into the main living area she could hear Clint kicking off.

"You can't be serious capt. After last night she needs everyone around her."

"Just a few nights away for basic training, it was agreed that she would join us on missions. I need to be sure she is mission ready and I need to get her away from here to do that."

"But why can't I or any of the others join you." Clint hissed through gritted teeth as Isabelle walked into the room.

"Cos I asked Steve if we could start with just the two of us. I need time away to clear my head and for you all to stop looking at me like I am about to break." Isabelle answered for Steve looking at her brother as she dumped her rucksack on the floor.

Clint looked at her before shaking his head and walking away. She knew he was concerned for her but she needed time away. A chance to clear her head and perhaps to find the person her heart yearned for.

She glanced at Steve who looked at her before picking up her bag and walked away. She followed neither of them saying anything. It wasn't till they were driving out of the building before Steve said.

"Sorry that you had to lie to your brother."

"Its not the first time or the last." Isabelle sighed leaning back in her seat. "He'll get over it. So going to tell me any more about where we are going."


End file.
